FBI Needs you to glow

Hi /pol, we've noticed that some of you anons would like to join our illuminated organisation. Why would we take on you plebs? Can you make your own memes? Can you smell bait? What makes you a good agent? Tell us and we might contact you soon.

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mobile.twitter.com/Jasperge107/status/1140394418312220674
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But why work for a bunch of psychopaths that want to destroy America?

I'm an OSINT expert. I make IntelDoge and ELINTnews look like amateurs.

FBI doesn't pay enough in my specialty, they didn't even have the capability until 2015.

People on here are probably more competent than your "agents."

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Fuck off Boomer faggot.

Tell me where you operate and i personally come and murder you

hit me up. You know where to find me! I'll be looking for work soon.

Quantico, Virginia. Come and get me, Hans. You won't do shit.

We just want to keep it in check that's all.
Do you have your own twitter account, that does count in the evaluation
You might be very wrong. we have special funds for everything.
Yes that's why we're hiring.
how does one say it... KYS
Wiesbaden, dont get scared now Hans.

Does working for the FBI mean I can shoot niggers?

because im the best

Saved

Thanks for the info

yeah, just knock on the door I know you guys are chilling outside in the van

we never get to use our arms. It's more a desk job. Join the army they get to kill all kinds of humans.
of what?
They're asking for coffee, would you be so kind?

>Do you have your own twitter account,
You already know the answer.

And protect filthy normie scum.

multiple... ;)
normies are the bread and butter of a society, in other words, they make all the dough.

>you plebs
the people you send over here after years of studying Jow Forums still glow in the dark, you need me

Hanz your father was in the stasi, careful now.

Tell us how do you tell if an agent is glowing online?

If you glowniggers are real about this then contact me, I'm so tired of my boring ass life and need something to do to feel important

>give it for free, so we can get promoted and you can get tricked
nah.

And why would I want to shitpost for feds? The state has no loyalty to citizens, no reason why the citizens should be loyal to the state.
Besides, you'll just tell me I don't have the right college degree and/or experience while you have to explain to your boomer superior how to work a spreadsheet or what the fuck a spurdo is or what it means when he's deebly goncerned.

It will take at least 2 months, probs more. And after that you receive a letter. That is if you are selected.
Because you can change it for real by doing something that "matters".
We've known for sometime that the lingo /pol is different from other boards. Which words do you think are glowing the most?

Fuck off. What does the FBI even do these days? Sit on their asses and drink coffee all day.

WOW!

>Sit on their asses and drink coffee all day.
And you sir do other things?

Ok nigger where do I work then?

Because I want to be the best man I can be an and already a man of good standing and judgement. I would completely engross myself in the training and the work. Also as an aside, I've seen some of your boys and girls shoot handguns. A lot of you could use some extra training. Let me show you what I can do with a Glock =). I know this will be ignored and you will hire some desk jockeys with law, accounting or cs degrees anyway though.

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Then make me an offer. Presuming that it is for more than minimum wage, doesn't require working with out of touch disability check collectors, and won't lead in another branch sacrificing me when the shit goes down and another alphabet soup group decides to pick a fight over jurisdiction. Deep state is more public than it's ever been and it isn't pretty.

My posts are authentic not like the ones you make that can be identified easily

This is for a newly created department in IA. Depends on your location.
You might be the person we are looking for.
80-95k/y

Who did 9/11? I want to see you glow

>=)
disqualified

I'll be waiting then

FBI did 9/11

sloppy job Putin. dick

Then I guess you'll contact me eventually. And stop asking for what does or doesn't glow in the dark. Normies and feds stick out like Africans in Maine.

user obY+L3IK, show something of interest.
plz Streetshitter. We were the only agency investigating it, should say enough.

I can tell you're a larping faggot from here.

but I already run my own intel agency more effective then the glowing nignogs

intel me dot com
and beehub.org

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Fpbp

I guess the point is to show how good he's at larping and attract some glowniggers to this thread to hire him.
No chance OP

Only if they paid me $500k and let me in on all the good secrets. Never gonna happen tho. :(

here proof

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Hahah

Time for to leave.
whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha you made us lauch.
nope

Prove your FBI and release some classified info about the anthrax mailer or the Israeli spy ring that did 9/11

Do you hire bongs

Today I realized every glownigger has daddy issues.

>watermark

If the Feds wanted Jow Forumstards to work for them, they would just meme a psyops and the lemmings would run, head first, off the intended cliff. No need for pension, health insurance, or a salary.

95k??? No wonder you glowniggers are always stealing and selling drugs on the side. You cant even support a family on that.
Ffs highway patrol STARTS at $85k...
Sucks bro theres nothing good left.

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Gebruik je een VPN?
Do you have locations in Europe?

I want 150k a year if Im going to help the FBI meme our country's rights into the ground

What can I show on some anonymous Mongolian throat singing board that will even matter?
The most I can do is shitpost effectively and false flag like mad, I've had to go about my life lying like a rug and I've only recently started to get really good about it. I guess I formed a sense of detachment from my actions, and at least that's a good tool since it allows me to be around most groups and use their rhetoric to my advantage. But I can't really show that

Or job security. If the government does one thing, it ensures a stable job that's hard to get fired from. Especially relating to something so new and scary like internet culture and memes when it will only get bigger.

First, obvious larp.
Second, fuck you
Third, if you were real and were serious, you wouldn't do the shit you just did. You'd just find out based on post history and memetic capacity who to contact. We know we aren't anonymous to the glowniggers. If you wanted us, you'd contact us. Dark overlord.

This is just the saddest yet most fitting thread I have ever seen on new chan.

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Exit holes in pentagon are not from the attack but made by rescue team that have preplanned breach spots placed in the pentagon ;)
yes but not overseas
it might be a test or a larp. Why do you think it's a larp?
Not at the moment.
>Dark overlord
is that your username?

This is pretty weird. One of these feds was trying to pin the Christchurch shooting on Russia.

mobile.twitter.com/Jasperge107/status/1140394418312220674

>Why would we take on you plebs?

Why do you think your and several other intelligence agencies lurk here? Why are you here right now engaging with us?

>Can you make your own memes?

See answer number 1, the entire 2016 Presidential Election, Brexit, and the reason you're even using the word meme right now.

>Can you smell bait?

I can smell your mom's pussy from down the street when I drive over to pick her up. Tell her to buy some more data on the prepaid phone she bought me so we can Facetime.

>What makes you a good agent?

What makes you?

Kike detected

Because you glow, fuckwad. Like right now, your larp is astonishingly obvious but we're playing along because it's fun and breaks the monotony of our lives.

Why don't you tell me what NCTC is and what its capabilities are and maybe we'll talk for real.

Sure as long as I dont get goodfellad on my first day

>flag
What's up with your toothpaste flag? LOL, at least try to be convincing and get a US flag...
Nigger

98% chance you're a larp. If you're not, throw me a text and we'll talk. You're the american government, I'm sure you could call any of us if you actually tried.

Why should I answer for free?

Yeah wtf is up with all the blaming russia? Is it real or bullshit? Seems like bullshit to me senpai but im just a scrub what do i know.

I would love to get paid to shit post hmu

Yes we've noticed that too. FBI is a big complex slow structure. Some of the oversight was old and not uptodate.
Dont ruin it all. Also darkfiber is a myth.
In a few hours this thread will be remade under a different flag ;)
It's a job interview.....
see top comment here.

My hour is up, break time. We'll be back soon.

Nigger, i already make 130k a year. Make me a real offer. 200k or more to sit in my own home in my underwear. My job is already pretty fucking good and i can still shitpost here for free whenever i want. You better bring the real magic.

How do you feel about this pic? Also, i'd be really happy to help out but I have a feeling that just disliking and slandering the jews will already disqualify the best of us. The best of us know, and arent happy about it.

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Come to gsa and buy my honey glowie
I already serve u and ur not buying my products >:T

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Yeah i might be down if i could still have a normal job. $95k with no prospects for more is just way too low on its own.

If you are really a luminescent African american then you are aware that global politics is controlled by ancient middle eastern gods and the ruling dynasties owe their position to human sacrifice to those demons. Do you have a theology department in your org? Are you aware of the use of numerology and summoning Egyptian gods here to get favourable results? Are you aware God has manifested through numerology here? Are you looking for a memester, magician or a theologian?

What's the niite program for?

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Also bring ur whole department we wanna meet u :3
Come support ur local vendors

It's what i thought. Fucking larp

I only work with aliens. Not the brown ones.

>What makes you a good agent?

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Yes i seen all of this before. Still doesnt answer why russia? I believe it was israel and if you see any russia ips that they just used a vpn. They have the most to gain from it, russia has nothing to gain seemingly.

Were looking for agents like you user
inteme dot com and beehub.org


a happy environment with lots of honey

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Owo
I have like 1000 boxes of bees. It's good stuff :3
Ill check it out desu, the business is good and we take care of our feddies but it won't pay for my future ;-;

I'm all yours. I need SES-level pay, though. But you know me and my skill sets. So go ahead and email me with that unique, made-for-me position I know you need to fill.

Hire me or don't. We both know I'd be an asset.

Irl I'd be happy to help but this nigger is such an obvious larp it's sad. I'm not hiding, bitch. If you want someone for real to do your dirty laundry, I'm game. You know where to find me. I can and will do more than just shitpost, and if you're real, you know it's true. Just look at your 30,000 foot picture of me. But you aren't real and your thread is a game. You can be seen from a mile away.

You blind as an MF bat my dude. Go leave the US and see how loyal the government is to the people anywhere else...AMERICA THE GREAT BABY

Yep, hopefully we can keep it this way.

Lol. I'm not giving up my cushy NASA job to work for a bunch of kid diddlers.

You should pay me to not work for glowniggers.

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If I work for you can I get a job abusing children and selling drugs? like if I can't hit them can I at least poison their well of knowledge?

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can I call children faggots and make them racist?

You know the fact that the fbi is now known to be behind many of the seriously illegal posts on this board which is all satire truly says alot about their character.

>tell us and we might contact you soon
literally impossible.
remember to press that little arrow and retort for rolling outside of /beh/

Notice how the larp hasn't returned once he was actually called out

that's just fbi policy.
COMMIT CRIMES ON THE INNOCENT TO CATCH THE GUILTY AND IF THEY AREN'T GUILTY MAKE THEM GUILTY.

glowniggers dindu nuffin
dey wuz gud bois

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I have committed join
I shall provide honey related info :3