ITT: Crazy Conspiricies You've Made Up

There's a giant insect in Vault 7 that spread consciously all diseases there is all around the world as it likes and "the elite" must satisfy it whatever way it likes because otherwise the insect destroys all human life.

The freemasons only eat salmon because instead of Free- they are Liberty Masons. And L-Mason scrambles to salmon.

Q will reveal himself to actually be Weird Al Yankovich and he will usher in the end times acting as the Antichrist.
Checkum

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there are no meteor showers, the government drops uranium from high altitudes to irradiate people who like looking at the sky

Try it.

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>fucking poos and pakis have more nukes than israel

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>implying American nukes doesn't belong to kikes

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Donald Trump is Satan in the flesh, tricking both Israel and Russia to eventually invade China due to magical biblical crystals that they’re hiding.

America is already owned by Japan which was the “deal” that was made long ago as an apology for the nuclear bombings.

Japan is owned by Israel. Israel is owned by Satan. Donald Trump is Satan.

Hillary Clinton is not human

the aliens are at ft. knox and the gold is at area 51

the Earth is spinning on a tip of a futa goddess dick

I love penis

That would actually make Russia way more powerful. Bountiful crops, easy mining and port access.

The flat earth map is true but the earth is a giant globe. It is a small section of the globe and There is an opening in the ice wall that has a much larger world with dozens of new continents hidden from the world by the elites. Aliens like greys are humanoids from those continents.

why wouldn't they just go back in time to tell them it failed so they never kill hitler in the first place you fucking Romanian

They did, you fucking mongoloid.
What the fuck is a timeline?

implying they create a new fucking universe every time they go back in time?
substantiate your claims aмepикaнcкий cyкa

That I was a Russian shill posting for Trump on Jow Forums in an attempt to subvert Hillary Clinton voters.

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The Nazis killed 6.000.000 Jews

If that wasn’t the case then the moment the time machine was completed it would transform the primeline into a perfect utopia since literal infinities of corrections could be made, meaning no one would use the time machine out of fear of fucking it up, meaning the time machine was never used and none of the changes were made.

You stupid nigger.

This, even the Wehrmacht survived three of them, with modern vehicles and long range artillery and rockets a conventional war against Russia wouldn't be much bothered by winter.

or they turned it into this fucking hellscape and that's why we'll never invent a time machine because they fucked it up in the first place you fucking dyke

They never would have gone back you illiterate shithead.

nah you fucking mong because OP stated they fucked something up which necessitated the to kill Hitler, obviously they fucked something up along the way which is why they cannot fix that error.
use your fucking head numbskull.

There is no GLOBE!
youtube.com/watch?v=vzwWYKz6P9o
Flat Horizon in the highest atmosphere.

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>global warming

Two options for primeline time travel:
>You build a time machine and utopia instantly happens, meaning you had no need to build a time machine and wouldn’t have
>you build a time machine and instantly the possibility of building a time machine is disrupted, meaning you didn’t build a time machine

Primefags are absolute brainlets.

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The Holocaust did not happen

not that you didn't, but that you can't, or won't, or fuck something along the line that means it'll never be discovered. whether you believe that there's some alternative timeline or not, you can't deny the fact that we're fucked, faggot.

Space is flat and Earth is a dodecahedron.

>lose the argument so bad you become an incoherent schizoid

Conduits requirement for electrical wiring in North-America is a result of conduit manufacturers government lobbying.

(((They're))) trying to fight global warming to prevent Russian from getting more arable land, that's why BRICS don't give a shit about pollution, they WANT it to happen.

Yahweh, the god of Christianity, Islam and Judaism is Saturn, the same god of worship by the Freemasons, the same god who's symbolism is present all over Communist logos. There is no such thing as "Satanism" or "Luciferianism" only Yahweh worship, and the Jews are his chosen people. The planet Saturn is the planet of Capricorn, who's emblem is that of a goat. You have been worshipping the devil this whole time.

>implying basic grammatical structures are incoherent
durr

China is warming the globe so Africans and Muslims invade Europe

This one is good. And believable.

You ended your argument about the nature of time travel with “time travel doesn’t exist”.
Thoroughly BTFO.

>no such thing as Satan
>just god
>you’ve been worshipping the devil

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The planets in our solar system are slowly falling into the sun one by one.
We used to live first on mercury and then Venus when they got too close to the sun.
Our next jump will be obviously to Mars, I'm not sure if we have to take the oceans with us.
New planets are formed from the outskirts of the system - first they are large gas based, but then shrink and become solid in time.

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literally retarded

Lmao

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because it's true
I can't totally prove it, though, so it's a conspiracy that I made up
the timing fits perfectly

The earth is flat, but space is curved. Planets only appear to be spheres from outside their gravity wells where you can see the curvature of space.

fuck you nigger I was saving that image

It’s still flat and that’s why there’s laws against flying a drone above 500 feet

Is there a difference whether earth itself is curved or the space around it?

It's a subtle distinction, but yes. We know that gravity is the curvature of space. But It's only curved when looking at it from an uncurved region of space. When inside the curvature, it's flat.

Unfortunate.

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China is slowly planting themselves in Canada in preparations for a US invasion once the racial and political tensions reach critical mass.

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if anyone is interested

Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson owned a shit ton of stock in Bell Helicopters and they made millions of dollars when they escalated the Vietnam War and the military needed more Hueys.

>being this dumb

enkiptahsatya.com/41-anu-yahweh-the-true-devil.html

Due to ever-rising exposure to information, and velocity of our culture, there is an sharp environmental pressure for us to biologically (and culturally) adapt. This adaptation takes form naturally and is manifested by increased cognitive abilities, in short people are getting "smarter". This leads to an slowly growing "brain-gap" between generations.

Increased intellectual capacity is percieved to be an complication or potentially a threat by a proportionally small group of very influential and powerful people.
Therefore, they actively take steps to damage the development of children's brains and stifling cultural and social advancement.
A possible way this could be achieved is A; diluting or poisoning food on an industrial scale.
B; Creating and perpetuating conflict and confusion in society trough cultural means + attempting to tamper with media aimed towards children in order to alter brain development.

Examples of A;
Maintaining substandard plumbing, leading to, among other things - lead posining which damages developing children. Adding ingredients with known negative long-term effects in disturbingly large amounts, such as sugar. Intentional exposure to harmful radioactive sources and polluted air.

Examples of B; introducing non-binary gender-"spectrum" at an incredibly impressionable young age.
Severely limiting the quality and authenticity of entertainment or educational material aimed towards young children to channel neuroplasticity in a more singular lane. Forced learning sessions with nonsensical or highly politically charged curriculum.

Your argument is “god is the devil and the devil don’t real”.
It is as valid as “apples are oranges and oranges aren’t real”

I get want you want to say; “sky man bad”, but you are going to have to come up with a less objectively retarded way to convey your message

>west uses climate hoax to get rid of oil based energy
>russia gets 99% of its money from oil

People eat sushi with mercury in it to increase the fidelity of the MK Ultra mind control.

Hahaha that's what north, west and south Houston look like

It's the solar panel and wind turbine producers who benefit the most from this artificially inflated market.

Aliens are actively poisoning us.

niggers purposly don't wash themselves so they can spread various bacteria and diseases to clean white people

Niggers are actively poisoning us

karl marx was a plant by the jews to keep the luddite movement from coming back by redirecting their anger from against the machine to against capitalism and that a lot of anger against capitalism is misdirected. also that this explains why rich capitalist jews went to russia during the revolution

Poisons are actively niggering us.

Okay, enough schizoposting, I don't think this is far from truth. They poison our foods, our water, air is polluted more and more, you've got all these mobile networks which don't have enougb research behind them (3G and newer), poisons are everywhere.

I'm sorry.
I'm not familiar with the word schizo-posting? Sounds like it has something to do with schizophrenia. Could you please explain what it means, thank you.

Radiation from mobile communications is an good example, yes, but it's too inefficient at disrupting development in children/fetuses.
I think good ol' "poison" is more efficient, especially since accessibility to the production as environment is easy due to a very very limited amount of companies owning a truly massive part of the child/baby foods industry.

jews are the good guys

anyone allergic to wool or lanolin should avoid vitamin d3...it's made from lanolin...and a mild allergic reaction to it just makes you feel sick and tired all the time...similar to symptoms of too little vitamin d

>Crazy

take your meds faggot

first three posts of mine were jokes which schizophrenic would say.
as for the food, everything is loaded with salts and sugars and other additives, and i haven't looked into baby foods industry, thank you Sven

Chris Brown is a homosexual. He only beat up Rihanna because he wanted to be famous for beating up his GIRLFRIEND. that way people would only talk about how he was dating a women, and not about how he's obviously a faggot.

niggers who like his music are okay with beating up women, but they are NOT OKAY with homosexuals. it's quite savvy on his part.

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GEOTUS is running a legal train on Epstein and child traffickers because Jeffypoo got fresh with ivanka when she was 14.

Op is straight

the jews are trying to unite humanity in order to compete with the various factions of ayys in the local galactic neighborhood and they realize that the world's cultural barriers are the greatest threat for it which involves language, history and race which is why they're destroying all of it in order to create a single mass of same race people, by which when they achieve that goal they will get rid of every and all forms of degeneracy and lead humanity into an anthropocentric fascist techno-religious society that can go toe to toe against the most technologically advanced and aggressive alien unions

Close.

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take your meds schizo

Trump's family has/knows about Tesla's time machine and possibly other important inventions. He's completely unqualified to be president but *they* made a deal to prevent him from leaking the secrets of the time machine or maybe using a different invention against them. There is records stating Trump's relative worked with Tesla's inventions after his death, and a very suspicious "fiction" book about a boy named Barron Trump who time travels, and the book is full of "coincidence" (father is a rich man from NYC, ran for President, chimpouts when he won). It's almost hard to call this a theory.

>To invade Russia
This actually would have been counterprodutive historically. Invading Russia in Spring-Autumn was even worse than in Winter, as most of the western parts are just infinite swamps and when all the snow melts, it just becomes an ocean of mud. Napolean/Hitler/etc basically had to wait until winter for the ground to harden, as getting horses/tanks/etc across was impossible otherwise.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rasputitsa

You forgot East

>thinking nukes are real
>not being based and gaylin winsor pilled

Deja Vu is your dreams predicting the future.
Do you know how you forget most of your dreams? When you remember them, it comes out as Deja Vu. You remember the exact situation but you don't remember where the memory comes from.

When I was 12 years old my mother let me have her iPod touch, first-generation. When I started texting girls she took it away and told me to never look for it because I'd never find it. I looked and looked, and 6 months later I still hadn't found it.
Then one night I had this dream. It was absolutely surreal, in the first person, of me walking into my mother's bathroom and looking in a certain spot for it, When I woke up I went and looked in that spot, it was there.

Dreams have a special purpose, and our brains have more capabilities that will be revealed one day.

Juan Guaido of Venezuela was birthed in a CIA lab using the same DNA that they used for Barack Obama

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I didn't make any of these theories, other anons did but I will describe them from memory. First is basically, we in a simulator made by NSDAP. Are we prisoners learning a lesson by living in the "jews win the war" simulator? Perhaps this is just a military training exercise, having to "win" and fix the world in the "Jew victory" Simulation.

Another different theory is the Hitler Fisher King. So many anons seem drawn to Jow Forums, almost as if it's fate. Even if not Jow Forums, the ideas. Are we reincarnated into this specific time period for a reason? Are we reincarnated Germans? Maybe the eternal Aryan-Merchant spiritual war rages on, and we are to fight in it in some kind of spiritual world or something. Who knows.

Lastly, Hitler was an avatar of Vishu. I think it was Vishnu. Maybe it was Krishna. The Kali Yuga rages on, and when is our next avatar coming?

I think Elon Musk sent a car with a copy of NGE into space as eternal prof that humankind existed and works toward the human instrumentality act.
Elon made Anime real.

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There is gravity in space, but the escaping helium from the core of the Earth acts on the Earth as a whole, counteracting gravity to a point were the earth is almost perfectly suspended in space.

>JFK shot himself
I win.

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pfff
Earth is a tesseract
I mean come on

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Ayyys are behind processed food. Fatten us up to eat us.

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