If i see another britbong flag i make more of an effort to use british sounding words and cultural references so that...

ironically i am british AND i have brain damage lol i got hit by a car off me bike init

when the brits took over the world and had an empire they stole bits of language from everywhere and bungled them all together

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It's shocking how few people know about this. I rarely eat out, but it's always fun to find out if the waitstaff knows what it means or not.

my girlfriend eats with a fork and a spoon and then i introduced her to sporks and it was a game changer

I believe the true purpose of sporks was to punish people who ordered just the salad.

good for the spork guy, everyone knows you don't win friends with salad

I can win some friends with salad. It won't come with a spork, but I have learned to make salads that people talk about.

do you cum on your salads?

No, but I found some Italian balsamic vinegar that has a flavor unusual for the American taste, and just a tiny bit on top compliments the bitter parts nicely. Don't tell anybody but a quick dash of salt and mustard powder goes on as well. They can drown it in paste and emulsifiers afterward if they like.

oo sneaky, that's a good idea about using tastes they haven't had before, i always like to try new tastes and it makes it memorable as well

Most people like what they're used to, though. So if you're serving the same people again and again then you can learn to tailor which toppings different people like, as if they drove in to a mcdondalds and they could skip right to the pickup window without having to order.

Just give them a few extra toppings or slimes to add to taste so they can fell in control to customize it per their fancy.

ah good point, it's like a trojan horse for food tastes, the horse is their comfortable food and the men inside are the extra toppings

After you get a good mix of greens down as your basis, the real trick is fresh cut accouterments. This is where your knife game really comes in. Many different kinds of pepper, or perhaps a tomato can add a little pizzaz, but it has to be fresh-cut zesty and not like those limp mass-manufacture salads. My difficulty is how to get thin wafers of carrot in without it taking forever.

i think you should open a salad shop and change the industry, or some salad making tutorials online, it sounds complex and more interesting than i would have thought

To be honest, I got my cue from somebody in the family that treats it like baking.
>Everybody gets 10 shreds of this
>person A gets 4 shreds of carrot instead of 5
>person B doesn't like tomatoes at all
But he developed that over time and it's a solid anchor. I'm more the kind of guy who hunts around the house for whatever's available and then improvizes. If there's no fruit of the day, maybe I'll have to dice up a little bit of dried mango and if there are some really nutty nuts to mash up to go in with it.

I mainly only cook for myself, so why not make a fun adventure out of it if I have to cook for other people? If it sucks then you can try something different next time. It's just one day out of your endless litany of life.