Brit/pol/ - Wrights Soap Edition

>Boris Johnson takes legal advice on shutting down parliament to stop MPs forcing a further Brexit extension
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7392107/Boris-Johnson-takes-legal-advice-shut-parliament-five-weeks.html

>Prince Andrew 'now willing to talk to the FBI if requested’ Palace sources say
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7393521/Prince-Andrew-willing-talk-FBI-requested-Palace-sources-say.html

>Exeter man punched in face twice by woman after pub karaoke rendition of Morrissey
devonlive.com/news/devon-news/exeter-man-punched-face-twice-3245024

Man kills himself after being bullied for shagging a trap
metro.co.uk/2019/08/22/man-kills-bullied-dating-trans-woman-10611338/

>Schoolchildren taught to avoid gull 'muggings' after steady rise in bird attacks
gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/schoolchildren-taught-avoid-gull-muggings-16806741

>Emergency crews called to Binfire in Aberdeen
eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/crews-called-to-bin-fire-in-aberdeen-tower-block/

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=dsxwFHfhzHA
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twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

THEME
youtube.com/watch?v=dsxwFHfhzHA

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every time i die i wake up so im back on the heroin lads

Nice baking lad. Time for a comfy end to this evening.

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Sorry I fucked up that one bit of greentext lads.

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you've never even seen black eyes

All the shills lately for US memecraft.

The US relies on the Royal Navy's T45s for air defence and our submarines are the best in the world.

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Jeremy Clarkson is perfect for Who Wants to be a Millionaire

Have a pint of Stella on me, lad

did you see the plant on it last night?

youtube.com/watch?v=y9XgvkkVmhM
only Irishman I like desu
BAE isn't really English though is it?

His catchphrase could be 'Yeah I didn't know that either'.

I've already dealt with you, little runt. Nobody cares. Show us how shit you're leaving these days, so we can all have a laugh.

No, I'm watching tonight's one now. What happened?

They sponsored Woking Pride, they are as British as they come lad.

#PrayFor_lil_c

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BAE Systems Inc (the US version) is owned by BAE Systems, which is fully British.

Big companies do that all the time, you'll be telling me that McD's is English next because they fund local football groups.

I though it was a publicly traded company?

They had a plant. She was meant to lose. The they brought out a brown who was doing well last I saw.
Not all the contestants are real. Its a show after all I guess

It's a Public Limited Company.

british people are gay

I just like their aircraft man. We do good things too.

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what the fuck is up with tim today, jeez

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So they could have shareholders all over the world then, plus multinationals are mercenary. We build the hulls here that's about it. Thing is alot the defence industry is perpetuated on the idea that national wars are over and first world military's are just world police.

Lads, got any scary stories to share?

We are people Yanks wish they could be

I saw a ghost in a hotel room once. A woman in a black dress with a glum expression

37% of BAE Systems is owned by different shareholders.

b,french

They still flew Lightnings over Norfolk in the early 2000s i think; their base was coltishall

murica is much better.

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The questions are easier than they used to be

you do know that for these part 4 years that you've been online stalking me i've been having sex pretty much every day and the highest high of your day was posting about me on Jow Forums?

ofcourse you know that's why you're so mad all the time lol

He's living his best life.
The vile creature upstairs has stopped screwing him around, and he re-stringed his guitar for the first time since he lost his job as a Crown servant.
Finished the day off with a classic sundae.
What have you done with your life?

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This lezzer is a plant too

A fat kid at school twice my size tried to anally rape me in the showers, but luckily a teacher came in.
The scariest part is she never believed me about the rape part and told me to forget about it.

Lol a female plumber

d, john williams

I met an elf over Cannock Chase once. She was a scary elf and I think she wanted to drown me. To be fair this was on the back of a few too many raves.

Nah, she's real I think

b, get married

I'm at the bar. Who wants a drink? I'm only buying one packet of nuts

You've never even fingered a gremlin you delusional mong.

He's breaking his routine. I think the lack of hot water is really getting to him. There could be a meltdown in the near future.

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oh dear.
Amazing, I didn't know they flew them until that late.

Slippery Nipple please love.

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*tips fedora'

Why would I even want to finger a gremlin?

I think he's calmed down a lot since the shitshow last week, but if he doesn't get a dose of Clozapine it's only going to happen again.

i'm not sure it's getting to him, he almost seems like a normal person today.

Say, wheres that Greek shitposter? he's usually here by now

Where's the paki with the newspaper front pages

Stepping stones m8. If you want to shag an elf you have to at least fingerblast a hobbit wench first.

>There could be a meltdown in the near future.
Tim is melting down 100% at all times.

The plant last night was asked on what day of the week is the 'Observer' published?

She asked the audience.

There was NO WAY she didnt know that cos she got the next question right without thing and the answer was polyglot. I refuse to believe you know what a person who speaks many languages is called BUT dont know what day of the week a paper comes out. If its not a daily, its a Sunday paper..She came across as educated. An actress I believe. Its just another gig. She crashed and burned without winning too. Suss.

>Where's the paki with the newspaper front pages
kek

Whoa, that elf looked really young. I didn't try anything funny with her. Also she had ladybird bits and I don't even know how that would have worked.

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Makes sense for the production company to protect how much money they give out.
On the other hand, I remember the army officer who won a million with help from a coughing bloke in the audience

Humberto, you wish you could stop the british behemoth

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Is he in a commited relationship?

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Tried twice to link it but couldn't manage

When I was a student in Hull a fair few years ago, me and a mate during a big drinking sesh, decided to crash out in the gardens of a convent.
I can't be arsed to go into it in detail, I've just worked a 15 hour shift, but we saw 3 cats in the garden, skipping in their hind legs in a circle.
After 3 steps 2 of the cats would leap across each other, changing places in the order of the circle, and never going on all fours in the 5 minutes we were watching them.
When they realised we were there all supernatural hell broke loose.
Trees shaking, hellish cracking sounds, of course we ran away.
We also saw 3 pumas on the way home. Somebody else independent of us witnessed one of the pumas and called the police. His sighting made the front page of the local newspaper so there is some evidence that what I'm saying is true.
Anyway that convent is behind the bench that the girl was last seen sitting on.
It won't be related, but if she's ever seen again, she could be riding on a broomstick.

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yer with me

>how much money they give out.
Not about that. They are loaded. The just wanted a filler, a loser, before the real contestant comes out and does better cos the q's are easier

a, Saracens

He used to post them every fucking night

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I've posted about it before on other websites, but no-one seems interested.
I understand why. If anyone ever told me they'd seen dancing cats and pumas I wouldn't believe them either, never mind all on the same night.
I think the convent - Endsleigh, was mentioned in one of David Ickes books in the 90's, as a place where satanic rituals took place.
If that's true then the two are probably related imo.
My friend holds a high position in the inland revenue nowadays, he's of better character than myself, and he still swears by what we saw. Though he is more bashful if I'm telling it to others.
He knows how utterly fucking ridiculous it sounds and is deeply embarrassed by it all.
The cats were dancing around something that was invisible to the human eye, if they were indeed dancing around anything at all.
It was only last year when reading something online that it occurred to me that the only explanation to what we saw in the convent, would of been an obvious explanation in the 13th century. However in the 21st century its likely to get you banged up in a loony bin.
Imagine witnessing what we did in the 13th century. You walk to the nearest Inn. Tell the locals. They reply matter-of-factly "Ee-by-gum them bastard witches are at it again".
Yes as insane as it sounds, I now believe that the most logical explanation is totally illogical when judged by today's eyes, but we saw shape-shifting witches that night, performing some kind of ceremony.
I speculate that what they were dancing around was a cauldron, invisible to the human eye but a cauldron all the same.
I read somewhere that large puma like beasts have been spotted around the UK at least since the days of the druids, who claimed that they had mystical powers.
There's been hundreds of sightings of these big, black cats over the years, but nobody's ever caught one.
Could these elusive pumas also be shape-shifting witches?

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Prolly cba with this shit general any more. Pube & faggot Tim posters.
Most of us have moved on now. See you in another 4 months lads

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here he is now. Speak of the paki and he will appear!

Basic gestalt on Boris putting his foot on a french table? Power move?

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wewe, that's a really good story. was it just cracking trees or did it get windy or stormy or anything?

Lovely front page

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b Picasso

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Don't go

If he had a couple of lamps instead of the hard light of the ceiling light It would be comfy af

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Witchcraft is real. Most witches only use spells for good, though

youtube.com/watch?v=7mMJukBAC3M

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Coleen Rooney is quite fit

Its not my post. Was a post from an user in February, just reposting it

i think a lot of people have just left, seems much quieter recently

Jesus H Christ

You're insecure
Don't know what for
You're turning heads when you walk through the door
Don't need make-up, to cover up
Being the way that you are is enough
Everyone else in the room can see it
Everyone else but you
Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell
You don't know, oh oh
You don't know you're beautiful
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know, oh oh
You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh
That's what makes you beautiful

youtube.com/watch?v=QJO3ROT-A4E

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based

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Went down stair one night to make a cup of tea, boiled the kettle and didn't have any teabags left, so not wanting to wate the water I had a mug of hot water with brown sauce in it instead

>Coleen Rooney is quite fit
Not even Wayne is fucking her!
She's manky. Her face is so hard and she looks like she is in her 40's

Lord, i had a book about cryptids when i was a young lad, and one of the monsters was a big cat from the british moors

I love you

all gays have dormant aids

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My love
Wherever you are
Whatever you are
Don't lose faith
I know it's gonna happen someday
To you

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