Don't hit or spank.
Don't treat submissive/feminine/girly things as VERY BAD for him to be interested in/drawn to - instead just do positive masculine activities together - going on walks, sports (not football), drawing, hunting, shooting, fixing up cars.
Be strong and calm with your wife and him
Use positive reinforcement
Don't lose your temper but don't be walked on by him or others
Keep active with him, don't antagonize him, make him feel like he can come talk to you about ANYTHING. If he tells you something alarming then you freak out at him for it he will stop coming to you. Don't let him get sucked into weird or toxic subcultures either IRL or online.
Give him a good name, nothing weird but nothing derived from Judaism (most Biblical names are), names like Hugo, Magnus, Hector, etc.
Don't be his buddy, be his protector whose goal one day is for him to be strong and fly the nest on his own.
Do not expect him to leave at 18 years old
Do not leave him nothing, you need to build a future for your offspring. If your son subconsciously notices you don't want to help him out (how Boomers didn't invest in their kids) why will he long term do anything for you?
Send to private school or homeschool with hobbies with other kids.
Show him how college is pointless unless you're doing medicine/hard STEM, a trade career or non-combat military are options as well.
Teach him actual useful knowledge.
Be happy to be raising him. Kids know if their parents resent their existence.
Don't cram redpills down his throat - you need to show gently, not tell/command/demand.
t. left home at 18 and have been no-contact with entire family for 9 years