My urge to live is completely gone

My urge to live is completely gone.
I've suffered for 11 years and counting - toiling away in loneliness, failing at every turn and everything. For it, I'm now physically stunted
25 years old, in my prime, and everything I've studied and worked for is worthless
I've thrown my entirety at Christ and yet I don't think I can carry on with it anymore. Every time I pray, things get considerably worse.
In my darkest hours, God is completely absent no matter how hard I beg for mercy or reprieve.
God seems insistent on having me suffer and wallow in loneliness and failure for the rest of my days with no break or reprieve.
I have no urge to go on. All I have to look forward to is debt, burden, loneliness, and the continuing death of everything I know and love.

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just become a truck driver, work for 5 years, make a few hundred k, buy some property, start a goat farm, and live like a normal person.

25 years old is very young, you still have time to turn the table if you'd stop being a faggot.

This. Stop overthinking things.

I can't physically perform a job like that anymore.
I beat myself up doing physical labor for 10 years and now my back is gone.
Hey bud, go fuck yourself

God must see you as worthy, he forces those that are worthy to suffer, like Job. Know that when you die, you'll be in heaven where happiness is forever. If it turns out it was all for nothing, we wont know it anyways. Best case scenario, heaven, worst case Oblivion. If you act like a narcissistic scumbag like most people it's the same except best case scenario Oblivion worst case Hell. I'm 25 too and am not worldly successful so hang in there, you're not alone, don't give up. Remember nothing is givin except Gods love, we must earn what we want in this world

>Hey bud, go fuck yourself
that's the spirit, faggot

Have you read Benvenuto Cellini's Biography?

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Everything just keeps getting worse. The perfect storm of dead loves ones, inherited burden, debt that isn't even mine, no freedom, no life, no joy
It was clearly pointless to seek out help here.
What was I thinking

then just fucking die faggot

"waah it's so hard ):", no one will ever care, that's life. Live it or don't, the world will keep spinning

>11 years and counting

Listen noob, you better level up and get some raid gear. Praying to be higher level won't do shit. You got to get out of the Rat Zone and accept you're here forever.

Prayers are often answered with a "No".
Others are answered in your DAILY BIBLE STUDY.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start reading the Bible.
Learn the Bible in 24 Hours, by Chuck Missler, will show you how. It is a book and the lectures are on YouTube.

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Come on don't be like that. Fren, when I was your age, I went back to uni after years of being a NEET sack of shit. 5 years later, I have my diploma. 2008 happened, HR bitches all looked at me in a funny way asking why would the fuck they employ a 30 years old with so few experience. So I went back to 3 years of being a NEET sack of shit. Then I aced a public service competition and found a comfy job 20 min of walking from the house I bought. Meanwhile I find my wife.

All of this to say that life is a bitch but you either concentrate on the shit sandwiches it's serving or the comfy moment between two of those sandwiches. I know there's one of these waiting for you around the corner user. So don't be a faggot.

Yeah this isn't the place to ask for whatever you are blogging about. Just do a barrel roll when you jump and it's all good

build your core strength, learn to hip hinge, get an inversion table

"The Gods help those who help themselves."

hold up nigger

I went theough some really heavy shit at your age and it lasted 10 years. I always told myself if things get to hard I could always grab a one way plane ticket to some nice country and start over.

Give up on Christianity and started seeking truth and enlightenment.

Go listen to some Alan Watts videos on jewtube. Look into other religions, buddhism, and especially zoroastrianism.

we will need you soon.

ive never told anyone this, and I wont explain most of it.

just know that god and jesus are not what you think they are, it was a last ditch hope to save his species.

he was a man, an alien, an ape.

what he brought to this earth to save us was empathy, for some reason he knew that was the only give we needed.

and for some reason he gave it to white cromagnon, I no not why or why they died, but I know that too many our rejecting his gift lately and we are running out of time, becoming clown world, within 3 years something is going to change, please help us fight.

Almost there chief.
Prepare to be born again.
Read the book of Revelation again and again and listen to it.
You are now qualified to get past the first line of the book.
Good luck.
We ARE here. Waiting for the rest of you.

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Quit being emo and buy this book, you black pilled fucker.

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10 years? That's it? 10 years! I've always had to do physical labor for all my jobs because lets face it my parents did not really teach me the necessity of using my brain to succeed. So as an ignoramus like Simplicius Simplicissimus I had to learn everything the hard way.

I pretty much threw my back out sanding and buffing muscle cars in my late teens before I joined the military to throw my back out some more. Now I'm throwing my back out again working while going to college. It's great.

How do I cope? Well that's easily answered, Dead lifts which I hate, actually strengthened my back and made it better.

Good luck coping, I hope you aren't fat.

watch the starship troopers movies if you truly want to understand more :)

all of you that have done any learning here will find it quite insane. don't watch it just like a retard for fun, think about it all.

"when you're going thru hell, keep going!"

things get better. 25 is still pretty dark for men. the light will reemerge even if you can't see it now. proceed by faith

youtube.com/watch?v=GswSg2ohqmA

Btw, you cant complain unless you stopped watching porn for minimum 1 month
Hi owen

People think positive thinking don't work but it do.

>abusive mom put on meds which probably gave me brain damage
>submissive christcuck dad taught me to be a pussy
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

breddy good advice.

don't be a pussy, OP. pussies (and faggots) give up. men don't.

God is not real. There is no God except the one that is inside you. It is not seperate from you, because you are God in your own way. You have full and total control of how you are, how you act, and who people see you as. I was an absolute fag and in a year I became well liked, got a girlfriend, and lost my virginity, all because I realized the Power of Self.

I hate posting here. Listen up, you fucking twat, you don't get to check out early. How many people, younger than you, have wanted nothing more than to live one year more, one month, one day, one fucking hour. And you want to check out early? You fucking worm. Have the human dignity to, at the least, alter your utter worminess before you go, and maybe when you do, you won't be so eager to leave any longer. God accompanies, rather than acts, do not look towards the divine for a scapegoat, user.

Posting a picture of Atlas? Yes, that is where I suggest you start: learn that myth. Then learn the rest of the canon, and rejoice in the wisdom of your forbears. Goddamn you.

I'm sorry for my vulgarity, but you need to understand this: You have a gift in your possession that exceeds, by far, the scope of even the greatest men who drew breath but draw it no more. Throw that not aside, like refuse. GODDAMN YOU. Verily, I say unto you: "Better to be the lowest of living men than to be even king of the dead."

Listen to Black Swan and ponder on hope. I am being very sincere: This life isn't to be cast aside but in the most dire of circumstances. Those don't exist at 25 and healthy.

Stick in their chief if not for love of your people, simply out of spite of the enemy

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>my back is gone.
Explain how your back is 'gone'
You can physically rehabilitate yourself if you are still 25.
Start lifting weights.

stop being a pussy

Fuck that movie. Overrated piece of normie trash. FMA and Ender's game were infinitely superior military themed works. The creator of Ender's game is also a fag hater.

NukePilled

I am 28 and done with it.

Ive been there OP, and not so long ago. There's nothing anyone can say or do that will reduce the pain you feel. Don't waste another minute seeking external relief. To do so will only increase your pain. Only you can find Christ inside yourself to overcome it. I don't mean "find" him like as in discover him initially, or convert, or whatever. You've seen him in the world, his image, his works, his love and he has already inspired you to give yourself to him.

What I mean by find him is that you will literally discover that he exists, presently, within you. He *is* you.

What you may see in these words I've written is that you must find him within yourself and then you will be able to carry on where once you felt you could not, but that is not the correct understanding.

What I mean is that you will find that he exists within you, and when you do, you will lose the desire to be anything other than what you are. You will find peace within your suffering, not outside of it. And once you do, you will cease to suffer. You will become still, and you will realize that what you have been doing was never giving yourself to Christ. You have been giving yourself to the world, but that is not where Christ lives. He lives in the Kingdom of Heaven within you, he is you. So you must go within yourself, and give yourself, to yourself. Only there will you meet Christ, and only there will you finally be free.

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Jow Forums advice in a nutshell:
>HURR DURR you just gotta pick urself up by the bootstraps and puch urself in the face like a real man and tug lady liberty through the ocean and give the manager a good ol handshake. Then you gotta rape a squirrel on live television to prove to ur future wife you got DA BALLZ to marry her. Then u lick lots and lots of lead because a REEEEL man loves his motherfucking lead *takes chug of paint* OOM YEAH LEAD. Then you punch urself in the face again and stick ur penis in the campfire while singing God bless fucking America to show ur devotion to Jesus. Then ur depression will be motherfucking cured. YEAH MANHOOD HURR DURR.

based post, this is the deepest thing you can learn from Jow Forums

> he forces those that are worthy to suffer, like Job. Know that when you die, you'll be in heaven where happiness is forever.
literal slave morality. Just work until you die, then you will be in Heaven.

He loves Jews more than he dislikes gays

relatable as fuck, fren.
do you come from two parent family?

You have to find people worth living for. Your posts indicate you are alone.

>Benvenuto Cellini
got rundown on basedness of this dude?

I'm sorry to hear that op... just gonna leave this here just in case, there are too many false doctrines out there plaguing true gospel and true Christian faith.

The Bible Way to Heaven
youtu.be/WDEBz25lGdY

The new world order bible versions
youtu.be/88q2QK6TvFY

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You're doing it wrong. I, I, I...

Forget about you for a while. And learn to play music, or draw or write poetry or something. Explore God's creation instead of closing yourself off in your own self pity.

>I'I'm a good Christian, honest!
Then why do you care about any of this? Why are you even in debt? Why are you worried about failure?
>Prayer is supposed to be a magic spell where I ask a giant bearded man for free stuff!
cringe

Besides, can't judge a man until he's dead. Until you cease breathing you are simply unlucky so far, afterwards we can conclusively say you are a loser. If you want to give up early that is 100% on you.

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go on disability then and get gov gibs

we all fight the same battle just on different hills m8

You don't need a magical daddy to live. That's not why you are here

This place is hardly good for advice, continue to live in prayer as I am in a similar position. Some storms just take longer than others, i've been in mine for 2 years in the running and at the very least my character has grown.

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Jesus said his burden was light, his yoke easy. He's already paid the price. Unless you hate yourself first you have no truck with me. Unless that seed dies it can not produce an ear of wheat. No house stands unless the Lord build it.

In the end, nobody cares whether you live or die but yourself. And you are posting this shit here, so you want to live. Keep living and try to find something to ground you instead of wallowing in self pity

> debt
wtf do you have debt for.
Live a minimalist life, don't spend money on anything.

And stop being a fag God helps those who have faith

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GOOD FUCKING LUCK

Here's the rundown.

Cellini was brought up as a lute player, his father wanted him to be the most famous lute player in the world and get in good with the pope to live on a pension the rest of his life.

Cellini refused, and became a goldsmith instead because he wanted to learn a trade. Suffice to say Cellini got good at metal working, and artwork. He loved artwork, guns, swords, knives, and casting cannons for fun. He made the Perseus statue /pol post all the time. Literally became one of the best artist of all time.

However what's interesting is that he lived a very violent life. He murdered one of his rivals (who was bullying him) in broad daylight with a knife, and had to leave the city or be killed by the mob. His father gave him some armor, and a sword to defend himself from the mob while on the run. He beat the crap out of women who stepped out of line. He blew up multiple men with his cannon during the sack of Rome. He was an extremely good shot with the Arquebus rifle.

That's the quick rundown, the book is a lot more interesting and action packed than I just described. Cellini was also a student and friend of Michelangelo .

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Its not easy, but its preferable to suicide.

Yes, exactly. No one cares about male depression so you need to fight it on your own. No one will save you.

Dude 25 is not your prime, your still going to move up mentally and physically till at least 35

learn to master your emotions and become a psychic super human

Really it's go to a doctor to get happy pills or find something that pleases you and go for it. It will make you more confident as you gain mastery and give you an in to like minded people.

You can't make a person happy unless they are open to being happy. If it's a chemical problem, go see a doctor.

die faggot. nature has no need for bitches except as cumreceptacles. dying is nothing, to live defeated is to die everyday.

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It sounds like it's time to an hero, OP. My only question: are you going to go for the high score or not?

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>No one will save you.
Sounds like a global dick move to me. Stop turning the other buttcheek for Tyrone and tend to the sick and needy instead.

People wouldn't be depressed in the first place if they had family and friends who cared about them. That's a healthy life. Its unfortunately rarer and rarer because of modern society.

>inversion table
sounds cool!

That's absolutely true. But knowledge is power and knowing that you can laugh it off concerning yourself, and look to a future where that won't be a problem, whether you live to see it or not. No one is kicking in my balls at the moment, I'm happy. Each day has enough troubles of its own without worrying about tomorrow. Faith in God means everythings gonna work out fine.

You missed the boat on one of the hardest lessons any Christian has to learn.

The good news is:

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

If it feels like god is shutting you down that's because:

“My son, do not despise the [c]chastening of the Lord,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
6For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.”

This is the root of your troubles:

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; 20but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

You are not called to be successful on this plane, Satan rules here. You are hear to prepare your soul for eternity in the presence of God. Take note, your needs are met. The Lord has given you another day to grow closer to Him. I know your struggle brother. Keep moving forward and I will see you on that day.

They aren't happy pills, they take away your ability to give a shit about outcomes. Breaks you out of your depressed paralysis, but it's not always in a good direction.

Little nig already practicing how to hit white women.

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naw m8, these movies are explaining the war being waged on the seed of jesus, white cromagnon, by mostly the Neanderthals, since they are confused and reject the space mans only gift to the apes, empathy.

I don't watch watch movies anymore like a little child, it was fun, and I saw them all, now you rewatch the ones with messages and see what others actually wanted you to see.

would you like to know more?

>thrown it all at Christ
There's your problem, God hates christians. Go Pagang and return the Call of Blood and Soil

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Same except I'm 23. Recently I've been entertaining the idea of just cashing out my savings for a van and living innawoods. Could be comfy but idk. I'll probably just kms

jesus came here as a last ditch effort to save his race, a planet of apes, which he is, an alien, an ape, into a habital planet of apes without empathy, im guessing he thought that was what is nessicary to see us perhaps make it to the future where we are capable of having everlasting life etc etc, and possibly saving them from whatever it was.

but, you know, dumb jews n shit. welcome to clown world my friend. where you wont ever see space because we too are near our end, not the end of days or things written in books, all that shits fake and written by dumbass monkeys.

You say that like you freed yourself from slavery you lazy nigger.

pagans are ok, they are the apes before jesus, and that's cool and all, but without the gift of alien jesus, they are likely to end up as well....africans lmao. eventually to die to disease and meteors. but if ur cool with that.

yes, you would just kill yourself, enjoy life, do what you can, fight what you can from what you learn, its really not that complicated as all of it would have you believe. nothing is magic.

You should become hiker trash. Get a pack and just thruhike the Pacific crest trail or Appalachian Trail

It's a real simple lifestyle that helps you appreciate the small things

At least I’m not alone. I’m 25 and have been losing the will to live myself as well. All of this just seems so repetitive and tireless. I find no enjoyment in things I was once so passionate about

>"Just stand down goyim and wait until your (((savior))) comes"
Is all of Christianity about being a cuck until Jesus comes back?

that's fine I suppose, until those in power have the ability to kill 95% of clown world, with biological viral weapons and or drones.

I wonder how far off they are.

I wonder why its clown world.

I wonder why are apes, why do the Chinese not have empathy, the jews, the black cromagnon. ofc, some of it is bestowed apon race mixing.

Please don't give up. God loves you and He is always with you.

jesus killed himself, by coming to this planet. he killed himself because everyone he loved was dieing or dead. that's what you would do after you came here. he was just an alien, most likely a primate.

He hasn’t been absent. Pay CLOSE ATTENTION. You start out with GRATITUDE which sounds really cringe but it’s TRUE. Once you recognize God’s with you, try and get an easy job but has a lot of opportunity. Opportunity is everything. Read the scriptures. Pray. Get back on your feet. Stay grounded in Christ.

on top of that, our first, our Neanderthals and others, are very likely have been put here, kind of like a farm, I imagine it was wide spread and there could be a million reasons as to what they where farming out of us. there is likely a million other planets seeded with them too, how many jesus's, lol funny name, made it to the other rocks, I don't know.

god you are a fool, how many text by man did you shove down your fat head. well, its not really your fault but its naive, what did god say to you, he wants the farmers, the fishermen, not the ones in temples and high priests that feed you their own interpretation.

could you please climb down off of the magic bullshit for just a minute and get down on a dirt level, once you do, its quite clear.

on top of that, he came here so that we can save ourselves, not to be fucking saved by saying hurr durr some nigger guy of old niggered his dick and some other nigger the niggered his.

niggers love to get colonized by BWC

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Look, that's not in the Bible and Jesus never said or taught those things. You are confusing the New Testament with the movie Prometheus, which wasn't really that good.

look if anyones actually even reading this fucking shit, becuase i know 90% of people wont care, they want to just say "im saved" or believe horse shit watered down through 5000 years.

look into the base facts of this fucking shit, why do none of the other apes have ACTUAL empathy, not just cunning, or love of a sibling, or self preservation.

and where and when did it come from. and why is the black cromagnon different from the white, how could that even be, hmm? no, not all from cooked meat and less sun.

Living a true Christian life is not easy. It isn't about standing down, it's about standing up. I don't expect you to understand, you will be fighting for your life, all your life, and you will lose.

Perhaps you will find some measure of peace in the fact that the people you oppose will face the same fate.

You think you are on a different team than the people you despise, yet your methods are the same or would be if you actually attempted to fight them.

There are only two opposing sides, those who pierce the view of this life and stand for righteousness and pursue redemption through Jesus Christ, and those who do not.

True weakness is the willingness to sell your soul for temporal gain.

Dude you're scaring people

(psst. Jesus is actually Satan and the harder you try to follow his false gospel, the weaker you'll get, and the easier you are to prey on.)

25 years old is young, if your loney then find a date and stop being a retard and fapping to porn.

no, the whole seeding aspect is just a very VERY logical assumption, and very likely to be correct. but jesus had the alien technology to come here, to give all of us a chance to make it to that stage, and your not fucking getting it.

I don't even know why I know these things. it all came to me within the last 2 days.

ive never even really been in a church past the age of 3. nor was I a person to ever want to care that much about silly shit.

but if that silly shit is what you want to believe then I don't care, doesn't change anything.

>dude just cuck yourself til ur ded lmao

well you are the first people im telling. I don't think its very scary other than the fact that clown worlds about to fucking implode and we should probably do something about it.

I hate to say it man but it's just how it is. I am turning 27. I got nothing but this nice apt and my videogames. Trying to get motivated to do the things I like but I am so hurt I usually don't sleep and because I don't sleep I'm tired. I'm also increasingly depressed and I tend towards suicidal.

You get to a point where you realize you never really stood a chance and once you accept that you realize that some people are just lucky. I always had to be responsible for other shit. Never was able to get around to dating or love. I can't really be there for them at all and I realize it's not really all my fault it's just somethings don't work out. Usually life has other plans for you. Most kids I knew who were cool became cool. It was just something they were gifted and worked into their lives. They had really support. Real people that depended on them. I had an incredibly disfunctional family that was completely incapable of providing a home I felt apart of. I thought one day I would get out and I could leave.

I can't. There are parts of me I will never get back. There are people I need more than anything and they left as soon as they found an out.

Just remember you are all that matters. You get one life. You get nothing else. I wait to die.