Im joining the marines

im going to meps tomorrow. anything j should know?

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Democrats are responsible for 9/11

Don't waste your money. Put as much of it as you can in a savings account. You'll need it when you get out.

If you roll up a $20 in your butthole for the doctor to find, he'll give you a handy.

It’s not as bad as everyone says it is, stay out of the terminal lance attitude and you’ll be fine. Also nobody hates Marines like the Marine Corps so be prepared to do a lot of dumb shit literally all the time. the only person that will look out for you is yourself, work as a team look out for your friends, but at the end of the day take care of yourself cause no one else will. Lastly a word of advice, a team that cheats together wins together, always have each others backs.

do they really fingerbang your ass!?

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Yup. You're also going to get the peanut butter shot in your ass every couple weeks so get ready to have a painful lump of play-doh in your ass cheek.

*Wahhabi Islamists possibly with the aid of Mossad and or the CIA

Don't complain.
Even when it sucks.
Especially when it sucks.
Don't say a word you're not required to.

That only happens in BMT once.

Unless you're a fucking loser.

This is some of the best advice anyone can give to a recruit hands fucking down.

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>BMT
Yeah stop talking about shit you don't know. Unless the policy has changed since I've been in, it happens frequently in Marine Corps boot camp. Yes we have to get more vaccinations than DoD standard because they hate us.

Brush up on your hebrew so you can talk to higher command

Remember that this fat chick made it in. Hopefully you are more capable than this brappig.

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Don't be a faggot.
Don't fucking ever blue falcon.
Don't be a know it all
Strive for perfection in all you do
Do it for everyone who's ever suffered under "rapefugees"

Tell the doctor you have an ongoing appetite for crayons

checked and keked

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nothing that happened to you before you 18th birthday actually happened. you are a brand new person in the government's eyes the second you turn 18.

do not fuck this up. you were never sick, you never had broken bones, you never had depression or ADHD. you never had lyme disease or chickenpox. you have no allergies other than pennicillin, and you never ever did any drugs ever.

and unless you were convicted, you never disobeyed the law in your life.

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Read
>unless you're a fucking loser

You're the fucking loser here.

also: simple yes or no answers unless forced to explain in detail. do not give them a single shred of information to work with or think about unless specifically asked for that specific information

Maybe, but a man who remembers the civil war will star long and hard at your butthole

good. my childhood was horrific thabks to my aspergers(which i lied about)

i thougt it was the navy that was full of fags

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Would having lyme disease prior but you beat over 8 years ago it really be a disqualifier?

When you get there and set up your pay dont pick fort sill national bank lmao. Its terrible, and everyone who picked it got hazed until they went to navy federal and switched over. Uhh west coast guys i might be wrong but i think you have no choice except pacific marine if so switch as soon as you get out of boot camp

Lol, you never had lyme disease

Spbp.

Half of your pacheck goes into a savings account every pay period, then the sum total of that account goes into a 5 year cd. Make maximum contributions to your thrift savings plan. Be sure your tsp is roth rather than traditional.

The shot as far as l know is a myth l never got it and most of the time they just stare at your spread asshole and say youre good. They might touch your balls though. Just stay clean and try not to make it weird

>im joining the crayon eaters
>im going to meps tomorrow

how would a marine looking up your ass not be weird

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where does that joke come from

I've had it 3 times

It wont be a marine. Mepps is run by a bunch if civilians

Did you not listen to a word said here?

lyme disease is chronic and lasts forever dude. it flares up every few years or even a decade or two but its always there

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Not planning on joining, just wondering. Leo jobs don't care so i just find it odd the military does.

If you catch it early its curable

How tall are you?

Marines is navy

5'9

Oh god. Protect your butthole.

If yourre planning on joining the military, you never had lyne disease

y

So True! BEST ADVICE.

I saved 70-80% of all my paychecks for 4 years (I'm not a jew). Presently, between that savings account and the GI Bill I am enjoying college very comfortably.

At the very least, your fellow marines when you get to your first unit will have a good time with your balls.

The whole butt stuff goes a bit to far into actual hazing.

Just remember that these guys are your brothers though. When your broken in, you'll also be doing it to the new guys. It's tradition in the corps

are they gonna rape me!?

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>rape

It's tradition.

will they try to buttfuck me in the shower like jail?

No.

If you can't handle a couple of hands fondling your balls then I don't trust you to handle combat besides me.

I didn't know they stacked shit that h̶i̶g̶h̶ short!

This fucking shit right here
Everyone joins thinking "oooh, muh pensions, muh compensation, muh benefits" then get J A C K S H I T after their tour is up

i knew the navy was gay. suck a donkeys dick faggot

It's not about anything sexual. It gives marines a good idea of how you'll react in combat.

dont they test for ADHD and shit?

You get diagnosed with ADHD by basically checking boxes on a survey as an adult.

You can't check for that shit

like if I have it and take the meds for it am I automatically disqualified for service? or does it only matter if I admit to it?

You don't have any additional baggage stupid bitch. Once you leave boot you can figure it out.

dont tell them retard

lmao my friend got cucked by telling the marines about his ADHD now hes joining the army

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>tfw i told one recruiter about my autism but he got transferred so i lied to the new one.

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dafuq