/meg/ - Military Enlistment General

what shit my 18 year old friend

just reposting my late reply here

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I did initially think he was larping until he handed me his card. no joke, 90s and humid and this guy is WALKING looking for people.
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alright, cool
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army, he was reserve himself

Get your weight down and then guess what!? It never fucking happened brother man. Tell no one. Enlist, disclose your criminal history if you have one, and as far as health (physical/mental) goes: tell your recruiter with a wink and a nod you've never even had a cold.

Just get real fuckin serious my dude, you're still fat as fuck. I feel for you and I swear to God I'm rooting for you, but you need to take your "diet" to the next level IE no more junk food, training every day, chicken salad, Greek yogurt, and beef jerky instead of chips ahoy, cheetos, and Reese's puffs...

Go fuckin get some. Do it for all the men who have died killing these taliban or whatever you wanna call them mother fuckers. Do it for 9/11. Do it for everyone who's suffered from rapefugees. JUST GET FUCKIN MOTIVATED YOU FUCK

Medical waiver wise, you just need documentation that you are A Okay without meds.

But anyways, you applying for ssi wont be an issue. Since you werent even approved.

Honestly, you could probably get away with not saying shit at all.

You do need more than a ged though, im talking 15 college credits, which is easy peasy to get. Just do 3 or 4 physical education classes.

In the meantime, while youre losing weight, you can do other things like project appleseed courses, search and rescue courses for land navigation and tracking training, and if you want to participate in a group physical activity you can try out a goruck light once youre more in shape. The goruck is more to build confidence than anything, IMO its a good way to feel how teamwork exercises and rucking is in the military.

Good luck user, if you wanna talk about army stuff, im happy to help. Im

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Mix bag, medically uphill battle but not a total loss. What are you looking for in MOS or type of job is the big question. Many funs can be had if you know how not to be a little bitch.

What happened to the little guy exactly, so I can try and avoid it happening to my kids

How ya fi give ya woman access to your villa?
Trespass and a witness all the hackling on the pillow
You better watch your back before she turn into a killer
Best review the situation that you caught up inna
To be a true player you've to know how to play
If she say, "a night", convince her, say, "a day"
Never admit to a word what she say
And if she claim a yuh, tell her, "Baby, no way!"

Which Army MOS is going to let me be overseas the most? Like Poland and shit

My great-grandfather was a marine corps marksman on Saipan in WWII, what’s the closest thing to this today? 0317, right?

Honestly, most likely Korea. Not a bad spot really but umm you may want to go into some language courses.

Cavalry lancer.

Note: not so much to communicate but more to not get ripped off.

14 series

They either get stationed in germany or korea, if you get to go to germany, you get to go off to various nato countries.

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the screams get louder (It wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over

Is it possible that your arrest records can be completely disappeared? I can't pull mine up on the FBI database or the actually police station that booked me.

I sang this song as my valedictorian speech when I graduated high school. I had no reason to do it but I wasn’t going to write a speech and it’s a banger

Depends how rural it was

It's a fair sized city but it has a reputation for dysfunction and not keeping records of minor arrests.

You sure it was an actual arrest, like were you charged? Or you just went to jail, and your lawyer got you out?

That's fuckin gangster my dude. We used to always sing that song back in high school

Is it a shitty MOS? Iv honestly never heard anything about this series of jobs.

I want to brutalize that slav girls vodka vag with my dick

Nah, if I had to rate it on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being best, its a 6.5

Btw there is no job above an 8 on my scale. And 11b i rate a 2.

I was gonna go 74d but was told to take a hard pass on it since it supposedly is really shitty. Kinda sucks since I'm really interested in it

Hard fucking pass on that shit bro.

Its hit or miss on how well you can handle the gas chamber. Ive seen dudes who signed up for it, fucking cry and panic mode when they went into the gas chamber. And then found out they gotta do that shit like 7 times a year. Also they never do their actual jobs in real army. It promotes slow as fuck too. Plus cant trust military protective gear, so FUCK that.

What else you interested in, i got time to talk about any MOS you want.

Im the 350F btw.

I've had nothing but the best of shit, you keep your face clean and get solid seal you are good.

How so?

I appreciate your words, and I definitely do have a long way to go, but surprisingly I've never really had a problem with snacks, it's always been the portion size of my meals. I'm still eating the same stuff but less of it.
I'm partial to cottage cheese over greek yogurt, it's usually cheaper too.
ALSO HELL YEAH!!!
If I get caught neglecting to mention my illness can I get in serious trouble?

I've been slowly telling my therapist of my progress the past few months in preparation of eventually trying to get getting a document stating that I'm fine and no longer have to worry about depression lol

I'll ask this again, If I get caught neglecting to mention my illness can I get in serious trouble?

also I like the college credits idea, and luckily if I score high enough on my ged tests it'll give me some credits(they redid the the test completely a few years back so it's no longer a complete joke) The physical education classes sounds fun desu.

Do these courses and programs cost alot of money?

Nice I really enjoyed your story, and I'm happy you've got a family that's cool with your service. I'm honestly mostly excited about getting my shit together so I can start a family myself. having a son even at the young age of 17 made me realize how amazing it felt to make something larger than yourself, to work at improving so you can better provide for this thing you helped create. nothing beats that feeling, and I'd dearly love to experience that again.

I'm still a bit undecided on what branch I'll join but currently I'm leaning mostly towards air force, I hear they make it extremely easy to get an education while serving also it seems alot of the stuff you do there translates into the civ sector.
what are your thoughts on this?

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I have no idea honestly. Went to my NG recruiter cause I was gonna use it to get my degree then go 31d but that's actually not happening after talking to him so I decided I have to just go active duty now.

I really just want something "cool" to do that isn't massive ass and lets me be stationed overseas in places.

Having to start from the beginning and re evaluate my plans to go 31d and then maybe if I'm lucky go FBI or something (which I still really want to do) totally sucks

I havnt, lmao.

So that goes to show, 50/50 you get good shit.

I'm thinking about something possibly medical related, but that's not set in stone. to be honest I'm a bit overwhelmed at all thats availble lol
What kind of fun?

umbilical torrsion, the doctor was supposed to do an ultrasound a week before my son died but he left early to play golf. I sometimes think what would of happened if he stayed and did his fucking job, would he have caught that something was wrong?

also my sons mom's mom was abusive and earlier in her pregnancy she got hit alot by her.

The entire experience was a terrible ordeal, and greatly contributed to my break down

If you ever have a child, always make sure your doctor is doing his job
never let those fuckers slack at their duty

also never have a child with a girl who has experienced many abuses in her childhood they are unstable and will hurt you just like the people that hurt them

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If youre going active, why not go 31D?

What exactly do you wanna do in FBI? Im talking specific job

Not him but 31D is not entry-level unless you have a bachelor's, the only other way to get it is dropping a packet 2 years into your contract and you still need like 60 college credits beforehand.

Whomst here is attending OCC 228 or PLC combined this summer?

Im My first suggestion, is to go on wikipedia and read up on each branch of service. Since marines probably wont be an option, you can cross that off. After you read up on what they each do and some of the history, skim over all the job titles, pick as many as you want, then come back here with questions.

As far as getting an education while serving, it all depends on what job you have and how your unit is. I had one of the easiest jobs in the army when i was enlisted, 35F, and I had ZERO time or opportunity to pursue a degree. Other peers did, but they also had less responsibilities. I wouldnt worry too much about getting a degree while in, its totally possible in all services, but it totally depends on how your unit is ran, and how your work schedule is.

The only problem i have with people joining the airforce is that they can have a long ass wait time to join, and their job options fucking suck when you get to that point. I would only go airforce if you have a specific job in mind that only the airforce offers. Otherwise, army is best for choices, and navy is second. I say that because army lets you pick your job before you even go to meps, and you will be doing that specific job as listed. With navy, they have rates(mos), and individual necs(job specialties) that are very competitive, or sometimes random in what you get put in. For example, there was an user on here who wanted to be a gunsmith. He originally wanted GM in the navy, but that rate can put him in like 12 different areas without much say. He later chose 91F because its gunsmith/armorer, and thats exactly what he will be doing. But thats a specific job area he wanted. Quite a few navy jobs put you in exactly the place you wanna be and are very good. So do your research on here and online before you walk into a recruiters office.

cont

Basically what he said is why. I heard going in by dropping the packet is really shitty. So I'm just gonna go in and hopefully get a little college done while in then get out and finish college then re up though direct Accession.

I want to be an agent and help people. I talked about wanting to go SVU a thread or two back and the 31D guy who posts sometimes said that the experience plus TS clearance should be really helpful in being accepted to the FBI.

I kinda just realized that I'm running in circles and decided to strive for something greater in my life.

cont

As far as school goes, you will need the 15 college credits. Yes you can join with just a GED, but i hear they limit your MOS options, and in my 13 years, ive never personally met or seen anyone join with only a GED. I had a GED equivalent and they were requiring me to have 15 credits to go intel. I already had 55 by the time I signed up, so I came in as an E3.

For those courses i recommended, the project appleseed shooting courses cost like 40 or 50 bucks. I recommend it because they teach exactly how the army is supposed to teach marksmanship. The search and rescue stuff is usually free. Goruck costs a bit, but youre not at that point yet physically.

I know that...but if was considering doing that in NG, i assumed he had the degree.

Oh you dont have a degree, no wonder you couldnt get 31D.

But I honestly think that you should go whatever mos you want, get gi bill, get out, go to school, intern for fbi, get degree, apply for fbi, in the mean time apply for local LEO or customs, then after a year or two when you get word back from FBI, you should have at least a year of uniformed police exp.

Cont
Forgot to mention

You should do 94E, and get degree while in. That way you get surveillance and physical security experience.

>had a problem with portion size
From now on, you only eat fruits, vegetables, nuts, and shit that's high in protein, low in fat. Eating less is a good start, eventually you'll be able to eat a lot but train enough to simultaneously work it off. I'm 185 lean and I eat portions on par with my 400lb cousin, only thing is I exercise every single day and generally eat very healthy.
>cottage cheese
Fuck cottage cheese. Fuck all shit that your partial to. It's time to eat a bunch of shit you ARENT partial to just because it's good for you. Eating healthy won't be cheap, it only gets more expensive as you add supplements (which are extremely helpful), but you will have to make sacrifices to achieve your goals.
I'm not trying to be some over motivated douche bag faggot, and apologize in advance if you think I'm trying to ignore your progress. I'm trying to make you understand as frankly as I can that you CAN achieve your goals but you can't pussyfoot around. Why are you 300 fucking pounds?? What would your son say if they were around to see you!? Your pain is a fucked up gift brother! You will never know darker times than what you've already gotten through, you've already faced hell! No pain of hunger or pain from exercise can kill you, much less come close to matching the pain you already have been through. Believe in yourself as I believe in you.

Do NOT mention your "illness". You don't have one. Never had one. It will never come up and if by some miracle in the future it does (seriously it won't) - it was a misdiagnoses and you have since learned to cope with your loss.

Are they over seas a lot? And that plan sounds pretty solid imo. I was thinking attempting 31D after I would be too old when I got out.

What all does 94E entail? It looks like they just do radio repair

I quit army basic by saying I was depressed.
How do I talk to a recruiter and get a waiver to re-enlist

lol forgot the overseas part. Ya they go overseas, i just cant say for sure how often. They are the ones who repair the comms and surveillance shit, and set them up sometimes. Why i suggest this over 25series, is because you will actually learn how all the comm and surveillance shit actually works, and you can set that shit up and repair it. On the civ side, its actually difficult to learn what they do in a formal setting. I mean wouldnt it be cool to know how to make your own physical security shit? And also useful in a LEO capacity?

Something else to look up, AMU, army marksmanship unit. Depending on MOS, to include 94e, you can apply for it, and if you get in, you get to travel with the shooting team all over the world. So this may be good if you want to travel alot.

Otherwise, do 14 series like i said, to get sent to germany or korea.

Bring your dd214 or whatever you got that has your re enlistment code. And walk in.

Travel is not absolutely important desu. Just a nice perk.

Is there any military contracting opportunity with 94e?

Is that what you care for?

Thought you wanted to go FBI?

If you want a contracting job, just go 15T and make big bucks on the outside.

94E just gives you some good knowledge and skillset of comm and surveillance tech.

Lmao if you can be more specific in what you wanna get out of mil or what your interests are, I can point you to way better jobs.

Will they tell me to fuck off once they realize I quit before, I thought no recruiters will even touch a mental health waiver

Just gotta show how motivated and fit for duty you are.

Hey guys, looking into an intel job where I'm going to have to get TS clearance and from what I know you need a polygraph

Now I've never been arrested but I have committed teenager crimes like stealing small shit and the sorts,

I made 10 bucks total from selling weed, I never smoked it but I considered trying it once, I've stolen stupid shit as a kid for a while and I've pirated games and movies in the past.

This is pretty much all the negative shit, now I'm not planning on fucking up when I enlist and haven't for a while now, so there's nothing on the records but I'm assuming they ask this shit on the polygraph

What the fuck do I do regarding the polygraph and what questions can I expect while taking it? I know that the technology is pseudo bullshit but what should I be prepared to answer and should I give them the honest truth?

I want to join in the NG as a helicopter pilot, tell me fuck I am

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Just lie during the polygraph. And dont look like youre obviously lying, just say it like you believe the lie.

Everytime i had a poly my heart beats super fast, and im not guilty of shit. If i can pass it you can pass it.

I was looking into 94e but there is so little info on it. I heard mixed things. Ended with 25s so hopefully that works out. I'm more of a networking guy anyways.

Ain't the polygraph only for like NSA shit? So they only ask about terrorism and shut?

There's a reason why they aren't allowed in court. They're shit. So weird we still rely on them.

I dont think you can, unless youre prior service. Only active duty has a street to flight school program afaik.

So just go active

What? I thought you could enlist as a Warrant Officer in the Army

You said national guard, thats a different thing.

Alright I understand that, I feel like that's manageable as long as they don't try and act crazy or some shit

Pretty sure it's for intel stuff, I was told I'd be doing one since I'm planning on 35m to 35l and I'd need to take it for clearance

Nah bro, you dont need a poly to get a clearance. You only get a poly if your unit requires one.

I had a friend fail a polygraph for law enforcement because he fucked a dead shark on the beach. Cool guy though.

That might be an issue though since I'm planning on getting my airborne tab and then being put in a sf unit once I'm 35l. But thanks for letting me know I have a lot of time before I have to worry about it then

How does something like that even pop up?

sf group doesnt require lifestyle polys, so they are just gonna ask terrorism shit.

They asked if he committed any sexual acts in public. So he was honest.

Noted my man, thanks. God speed.

alright thank god, now I just gotta worry about getting in shape for this shit, thanks bro

I'd rather just take my chances and not even mention that, even if he did get the job he's a shark fucker

It's not his fault this bigoted world doesn't accept necrosharksex yet. It's 2018 goddamnit.

not him, but poly graphs are used to weed out people afraid to take them, and stupid people who spill the beans under duress.

Those may sound like simple stupid things, but think about this, how many people regularly DQ themselves at meps for spilling the beans on shit.

I was just curious is all man. I definitely want to go FBI as an investigator though. I really appreciate the help too man. Just kinda feeling out my options right now.

Jobs like 94E are probably gonna be better than stuff that sounds interesting like Psyops probably.

Gotcha. Howbout going 91F and fondling guns everyday? Or going 35F for a quick contract and good resume flavor.

and to answer your question, honestly theres a lot of jobs in the army that interest me. Psyops, CBRN, 14 series, watercraft operator

But honestly what I really like doing is shooting and thinking. Iv heard infantry sucks so I figure I can just go shooting on my own time.

I realize that every job probably sucks. If they didnt the Army wouldnt need to recruit people.

Go 91F, fondle guns, you earn your gunsmith certificate when you graduate ait. That way you can play with gun and do whatever on off time.

I havent really conisdered the 35 series MOS honestly. I know youre kinda known around here for it. I wouldnt mind the one that lets you learn a foreign language and go out and deploy with troops sometimes but I have no idea if I have an affinity to learn another language or I would relly consider it. I think youve warned against it a couple time (might not have been you I have no idea)

I think its called HUMINT? You go and talk to people or something right

Ya youre talking to the right guy.

You like to read so 35F would be easy for you.

You can do 35M without the language, just dont go for airborne or ranger or anything if you dont wanna get your contract extended and sent to language school. I can recommend the job, its good. I just dont like when people get bullied into extending and being sent to learn a language when it could potentially ruin your mil career. It would also be good for your interviewing and communication skills for future fbi. So snag a non language 35M contract, do it for 3 or 4 years however long it is. Then go back to school.

oh yo what's up 35 dude, you gave me pic related advice apparently 22 days ago

No real questions to ask but some other dude was mentioning 37f, psyops or some shit, is that job bullshit like cbrn or do those guys do even half of the interesting things they say you can do?

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What MOS will let me put my penis inside of vagina? Buttholes too, depending on whichever is tighter.

Its unfortunate that theres not a language affinity test or something you do before you enlist to let the person know if theyre even capable of learning another language.

Do you really not suggest going for a language? I took Spanish in highschool (im sure it doesn't even compare) and I didnt find it too hard.

Again though im sure its totally different from the military way of learning.

haha ya totally

How could getting paid to learn a language be wrong? There’s literally a test that lets you know whether you’re skilled enough to learn one. Somewhat unironically asking.

Standard TS clearances don't require polygraphs, only certain positions and SCI compartments. That said, of everything that you've mentioned the only thing that might be a problem is selling weed. You should probably come up with a narrative to play that way down, like "yeah some friends and I used to smoke, once I gave my buddy some weed and then he comped me for it later, I guess you could say I 'sold drugs'."

Some agencies, I've heard, can be real douchebags about minor shit but the uniformed services don't care too much.

Every 91F I've met has been borderline retarded. I suspect it's one of those jobs like Wheeled Mechanic where if you get a good ASVAB score the recruiter steers you into a higher-demand field via better incentives e.g. Aviation Mechanic.

If you're really set on it, you could be the One Good Small Arms Repairman in your brigade.

The Poland mission is part of oar. Those are rotational units and not individual augmentees

What MOS lets me go to Thailand?

My dude we camp out and shoot al the time. It’s less shit after you become an nco
It’s great if you want to be in a gas chamber every couple days

I don't remember the MOS designator, but there is both a HUMINT and a Linguist specialty. Linguists must know a language, I don't think it's actually required for HUMINT. Just tell the recruiter that you are interested in a language-skill job and make sure the Defense Language Institute (DLI) is specified in your contract.

The DoD has a test called the Defense Language Aptitude Battery (DLAB) that measures how good you are at learning languages. You *might* be able to take it before you sign up; talk to the recruiter. The DoD is really good at teaching people languages: if you have a high DLAB score, get sent to DLI, and then DON'T SLACK OFF THERE you WILL learn a second language.

Sinc when do warrants lurk?

68W if you're just bi/horny. 35F

I passed the dlab, and i sucked at languages. I went through some serious stressful bullshit trying to keep sane and make my way through korean. I passed the course, but failed the test and was reclassed.

I took spanish in college, and learning korean was like learning rocket science. I saw dudes who were fluent in other languages bomb out of my class semester one and reclassed to bullshit needs of army jobs.

The problem is the teachers. Almost none of them have actual teaching experience. They go off the books, but then tell us oh its wrong ignore that, or oh i taught you this on day one why cant you remember, or oh that student has no problems learning this why cant you. Its alot of mental stress. Gotta do all your military obligations, and attend 5 days a week 8 hour courses, plus extra study hall and extra hours if youre getting below a B+ in either speaking, listening, or reading. I had no problem reading or listening toward the end, my problem was speaking, I couldnt fake their accent, my teacher literally told me my accent is too american and sounds like im making fun of their language when speaking it which is why they deduct my score.

Anyways, shits hard. And if you fail, your career is basically done if youre a 35P, and if youre a 35M youre not gonna be in any cool unit ever.

37F and 38B are good jobs, but they are reserves and guard only. They would totally be good for future LEO jobs imo.

> Korean

Dude that's probably the hardest fucking language you can get for DLI

see Or you fail and become needs of, or get passed on for going sf support, regiment, or some airborne units. They dont let you plain jane 35M anymore, they get your ass if you wanna move up.

Past couple of months

Ya and it sucked. But unfortunately, no choice in language assignment as a initial entry soldier. So take the risk i guess.

94e is comsec repair. Mostly doing the 25 series job because a lot of them are fucking retarded. If your unit has money, you’ll have a queen set already so it’s just pluck and chuck until you isolate the cause

There's basically two reasons. The first one is sort of dumb and the second one is more serious.

The first reason is because foreign-language skills jobs are perceived and often treated as second-class citizens. They're pogues. To a civilian whose idea of ARE TROOPS is kickin' ass and takin' names, it's a bit of a lame reason to sign up. Once you're in, it's basically office work unless you're in some very specific jobs.

The second, more serious reason is this: when you make speaking a language part of your core personal skillset, you're tied to the associated culture...forever. You end up getting assigned Korean at DLI? I hope you like kimchi and girls who wear lots of makeup, because that's your life now. You're a Koreanist.