Ok Jow Forums theres a spider behind my monitor and i need to kill it, but i cant get behind my monitor...

>if i move my monitor it night jump at me

i promise it will not, special needs user

Jumping spiders are cool. It's neat how much more aware of their surroundings they are than their web-based cousins. How fuzzy is it? Is it a cute fuzzy jumping spider?

*might

First off

>youre a stupid retarded pussy that cant deal with a spider
Like seriously, fuck you. If I met you I would try to break your stupid ass nose.

>youre even more of a fucking retard thinking you can just make nerve agents with household chems

I literally carry fast spiders outside every fuckin day. Let me guess, it was like the size of a dime.

Youre fuckin pathetic. Like seriously, again fuck you. I hope one bites your cock when you sleep tonight. Its just a spider you fuckin pussy jesus.

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no its thin and its got long legs and it moves at 30 miles an hour

Dont tell him lies faggot.

I have wolf spiders that jump. At my face. The fast ones can jump even if theyre not "jumping spiders"

>I hope one bites your cock when you sleep tonight.

Harsh, bro. Come on. Have some dignity, don't wish ill on another man's junk, that's uncalled for.

post bread on spider or shenanigans

ill happily fight bears or literally anything but bugs

Fuck no. If someone is that pathetic and cowardly, they deserve it.

Seriously thats like some stupid shit little girls do
>EEEEE a SpiDuRr!!!!

Yesterday I carried a fuckin quarter sized spider outside that ran across my hand and crotch at lightspeed, and removed a wasp nest from the garage with the wasps still inside without killing them.

Seriously arachnids and insects are not that bad. People are just fuckin stupid and fear things that are smaller than peanuts. Its pathetic.

i tried to kill it when i found it the other day, but it ran off. i cant exactly squish it against my monitor either, and even if i tried itd run away. i wouldnt care if it would just go back in the hole in the wall it came from and kill bugs n shit but it keeps covering my monitor in spiderwebs

>Fuck no. If someone is that pathetic and cowardly, they deserve it.

Wishing harm to another man's genitals is a sure sign of cultural degeneracy. Elevate yourself.

EAT IT

cant eat it if i cant catch it

I am surely a degenerate, no need for professional evaluation this fact is already well known.

Nigga, once a month I have spiders zip across my mouse-hand when im playing at the desk and they disappear behind the tower. Theyre just skitters.

this guys been here for two days, behind the same monitor, disappearing when i try to catch him. he hasnt just skitted away yet, i think he might be trying to make a home here. maybe its a she, is it possible to have a spider gf?

>i tried to kill it when i found it the other day, but it ran off
RIP OP. Spiders remember, you have to take them out in the first strike or else not at all.

I let spiders live in my house so they catch all the flying bugs like mosquitos which I hate. A friend of mine saw all the spiderwebs when they came over and cleaned them all up so now I gotta wait for more spiders

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yeah, it fucks off whenever i see it crawling on my monitor

t. has a spider nest in his computer

op here, i actually found an old spider nest in an old cade fan i dug out of my garage

case*

Are "jumping spiders" the assault weapons of spiders?

Why do you need to pick up spiders every single day? I think you might be exaggerating (and 14).

REMOVE
ARACHNID

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problem is its behind my monitor, cant shoot it

wtf no dude spiders are nice they don't hurt people and they kill nigger bugs

>enemy is protected by direct attack
Fire bomb them and watch as they burn alive. Just a spritz of flammable cleaner is enough to kill but not damage equipment.

user I demand you show us a pic of your monitor and it’s location so we can accurately prescribe the correct action

WTF, how did Reddit onions boys get on Jow Forums?

TFW had arachnophobia so bad, I've embarrassed myself several times in public by screaming like a bitch any time I've found a spider on me.

TFW my fear of spiders has conditioned me to be extremely anal about keeping a clean living space and regularly decluttering and dusting on a daily basis.

TFW I ended up living in an apartment that was infested with spiders and I was finding anywhere from 2-7 spiders on my walls every day.

TFW my only option was to go from a timid boy of onions to spider Hitler.

TFW I've killed hundreds of spiders since living here.

TFW their numbers have thinned to the point that I only see one once every week or two.

TFW just alone in my apartment now, hearing the voices of all the spiders I've killed.

TFW I've started making my own spider webs around the house out of toilet paper and staples to cope in some mind numbing way.

TFW now whenever I find spiders, I eat them.

Maybe exagerating a little, but its a weekly occurence. Ive got fuckloads of spiders in my house. (And are you telling me a 14 year old
Is more mannthan 90% of the fags on this board? Ill pick up a goddamn spider with my bare hands If i have to

good lord I hope not.

maybe. Probably eating the carpwet crawlers behind your monitor from finger fucking the doritios bag And leaving crumbs

>now I gotta wait for more spiders

>chlorine gas
>nerve agent
You don't really have much room to be calling anybody retarded, tough guy.

Wolf spiders are outdoor animals though. They keep the fields pest free.

yeah but this wolf spider is indoors

What kind of spider is it OP? If it's a jumping spider, leave that little bro alone and let him kill the real pests hiding in your room like these ugly fuckers.

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This, user.
Spiders are your friends.

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Leave it be. Spiders are bros and eat things far worse that invade your home. If anything, a house centipede will probably eat it.

What the in the god damn fuck is this hellspawn

>welcome to the thunderdome

I feed spiders in my house to my bug disposal. She tears their ass up in spectacular fashion. Much more entertaining than smoothing them.

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>smooshing

just shoot your monitor and phone post until you can get a new one

i think its a wolf spider
earwig
ive been phoneposting

op here, quick update. after some research it may be a brown recluse. going to kill it now

Wolf spiders used to live in my basement, fuckin hated those bastards

Shit OP, its almost like you can buy canned bug spray from any store ever. It's like clorine gas, for spiders, except it wont burn your skin.

Fucking dumbass

ALCOHOL IS NON CONDUCTIVE, READ A BOOK NIGGER

Wolf spiders are good boys who didn't do nothing

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Dude, just use bug spray. It's literally nerve gas for bugs, their nervous system uses different chemicals than ours so something that's extremely toxic for them is only mildly so for humans. Hell, actual nerve gas itself was originally developed as a pesticide.

>carry them outside.
Look at this faggot taking indoor spiders to the outdoors where they will surely be eaten. Just relocate them to an area where they can take out bugs for you next time.

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