>be me >me and buddy are in truck driving to the middle of buttfuck nowhere >be going to a shooting range/hunting post >be going there because some guy was offering a reward for killing a Roided bear >we arrive at the place >we step out of car >buddy walks inside >get out guns out of the car >my friend has a Mossburg and an M1 garand >I on the other hand have a fully pimped-out Pecheneg & a PB Makerov with a Green laser sight >get the guns out of carrying case >holster Makerov at hip >put them on the roof of the truck >look down into the flatbed to check the ammo supplies >hear footsteps behind me >assume that it's my friend >hear my friend shout behind me quite a ways away >feel something shatter against the back of my head >slightly stunned >feel blood gush through hair >draw PB >start to turn >hear a loud clatter behind me closely followed by the sound of a woman screaming >look at ground >see a 400pound landwhale pinned underneath my Pecheneg >mfw I see this shit >mfw I realise what happned >mfw she tried to pull the guns off the roof of the truck, only to have them fall on her >lower my pistol >SIDES REACH ASCENDENCE >friend & post owner walk over to the scene >owner calls cops >ask friend to see how bad the bleeding is >says there is no blood >NiggaWhat.jpg >wait for cops to arrive >review security footage >it's in 4K >notbad.avi >see that the woman ran up behind me & smashed a full bottle of Jack Daniels on the back of my head before pulling the guns ontop of herself >mfw American whisky is too weak to kill me >cops arrive >take woman into custody >hear that the Pecheneg broke 5 of her ribs >don't press charges becuz fuck that noise
There is a second part to this story involving the actual hunting of the Roid bear
Why was she going for the gun? Did she want to steal it?
Christopher Brooks
Idk Probs just some anti-gun libtard
Joshua Wright
I'll probably post the second part in the morning
Goodnight you magnificent bastards
Elijah Butler
>"hey user, you wanna go camping?" >havent gone camping with someone in years >get ready, get her a sleeping bag, get new tent, bigger air mattress >bring my levergat and revolver, in case of pests, Appalachians after all >get there, pick her up >"where are we going?" >"just in my back yard, I don't want to wonder off too far our first time, I've never been camping before" >mfw I didn't even think to ask earlier >set up camp and refuse to use house for 2 days, and she agrees My girls silly, but she's mine.
>Lost backpacking girlfriend I live amongst ruins and torments.
Gavin Turner
I went camping with my girl for the first time, but instead convinced her to go innawoods for real. She was apprehensive at first, but then loved every moment when we were out. She loved exploring and playing around with sticks and shit. She was a really good help with collecting wood and stuff too.
And when it came time to sleep, she slept like a god damned baby while I didn't get but maybe 2 and a half hours of sleep because of some fucking machine (FUCK DUAL USE LAND) making a terrible jet-like noise for HOURS. I made the mistake of going by myself a few months ago and that same machine started up. I couldn't sleep again, so I ended up packing up camp and driving out at almost 1 in the fucking morning.
I have to find a different place. Girl's a keeper though, since she's now my fiance.
Christopher Collins
find this machine, disable it, sleep like a king knowing you've done God's work
most recent moron story >new spr rifle >surrounded by indoor 25yd ranges >wanna sight in at 200 >go innamountains >new shooting spot >don’t know the area >day hike starts at 4am >remote atv trail >find shooting area >sight in the rifle, all is great >hiking back >am dumbass, eat shit falling down a ravine and fuck up face >no gauze needed but face is covered in blood >fuck it, nobody is around >hike back down trail with AR >face covered in blood >suddenly ATVs >literally hundreds >mfw atv rental 3miles away >mfw when holiday weekend and every family is on the trail >no so remote >people getting freaked out >duck back into woods
Camden Gutierrez
pic of said pecheneg?
David Parker
>tfw scared gf with talk of skinwalkers >she's hesitant of camping now It was cute how she said she'd get violent if something tried to scare her but I doubt that since she cried last time we tried to walk around hunting for hogs late at night but I know she can toughen up
They did hunt a bear after all, that's what I would want lmao
Jason Ross
Ok user your wish is granted
>be me >be shortly after landwhale events >be discussing with the owner about what he needs us to do >he says that he was mixing horse steroids into oatmeal to try and make the deer breed faster >says he thought it was working because every two days when he went to refill the big 4gallon bucket the thing was empty >on the 9th week of doing this he encounters the bear >said bear had apparently been subsisting solely on the roids-oatmeal >as a result the bear had grown into the Chuck Norris of bears >me & bro wtf extensively >eventually he finishes his description of the bear and tells us where it is >it took over his old trailer >decide I'm going to need a bigger boat >go back to truck >get out the apparel of The Lord >don the 8mm of Soviet steel >grab Shashlik (name of the Pecheneg) >buddy gets his >walk out into the woods >walk for about half an hour >see the bear just standing there stood upright in the middle of the dirt road we were following >the fucker was about 15ft tall >step on a stick >bear turns >it has a bone in its mouth >fucking bites it in half all rancor style >buddy fires mossburg >bear just walks toward us at a slow pace >it's eyes are glazed over and it's making weird almost human grunts >decide fuck it >unsling Shashlik >set fire selector to full auto >aim >unleash the might of the motherland into the bear >cuts into it like it's made of paper masche >furfagdown.wav >buddy goes back to get the owner >stay to guard the corpse >they come back an hour later with a forklift >hoist bear onto pallet on the front >me & buddy hang onto the back of forklift to balance the bear-weight >get back to post >we get paid $5.000 each >leave >later find out that the guy had the bear stuffed and put on display in the middle of lobby >also find out that he fucking named it boris >well as is life in the zone
This conclude my bear & landwhale tale
I hope you enjoyed
Jeremiah Perry
> get paid $5.000 each
holy shit, that's $10
holy shit, you could buy like 12 candy bars
holy shit
Andrew Butler
>user cannot Into maths
Go buy yourself some chromosomes with that $10.00
Jonathan Morgan
">we get paid $5.000 each"
> 2 guys > $5 each > 2 * 5 = 10
> candy bars 83 cents each (typical) > $10 gets you roughly 12 candy bars
I can't into math? I think I into math pretty damn well
Elijah Long
Status [ ] Not Owned [x] Owned
Henry Campbell
>tfw I just want a girlfriend
Blake Howard
>tfw user can't tell the difference between 5 and 5000
Again: USE. YOUR. $10. TO. GO. BUY. SOME. CHROMASOMES.
What country are you from? You can use automatic weapons and there must be large forested areas yet you don't use commas like an American.
Jose Gutierrez
Use American notation on an American website, nigger. I don't go to Cuckland websites expecting them to know what a comma is. Oh wait, there are no Cuckland websites.
Aaron Bell
My ADHD is way too bad to actually read that completely through
Jose Jackson
>uses the flawed American method
Get out Burgerboo
Eli Stewart
Get off my Red White and Blue website.
Blake Hernandez
>be me, ~11 year old with dad and our dog at the time >We walk through thick thorn brush >Area clears and we arrive at clear dome out of brush with a tree in the middle >Hear dog "screaming" from the thorns to the left >Old man goes full protective mode >Pulls out racoon that has it's teeth wedged into pupper >Old man can't let go of racoon's tail unless he want's to be bitten >Can't shoot the rifle >Doesn't have a pistol >11 year old me panicks >Old man turns to me, screams "get me a heavy stick >Get him his makeshift club >Watch him do his thing
Such was the life of the racoon
Aiden Sullivan
haha holy shit user nice stories
Hudson Cox
anons dad clubs a racoon
Elijah Wood
>user doesn’t know the function of a decimal point
Were you badly homeschooled?
Sebastian Hernandez
Anons dad hates filthy coons and their nigger ways
Sebastian Flores
You don't have a pecheneg faggot. It really ia summer
Carter Scott
> Shashlik > Boris
Hmm..
James Garcia
>PKP Pecheneg and pb makarov >two of the most unobtainium guns in the U.S >uses them for ??? bear hunting?
fuck off with your fake and gay story. I bet OP is about 12 years old
