>be me
>arizona ranger
>chief tells me to go some shithole town to get a guy called Texas Red
>fuckme.png
>have heard from the guy before, he killed at least 20 men
>shit my pants twice on the way there
>get there
>the townsfolk keep looking at me weird
>they keep looking at my huge revolver thats obviously not overcompensating for anything
>try to do something and announce that im here to get Texas Red
>i hear them laughing behind my back
>finally the man appears
>what the fuck he's like barely 24, but he dosent look worried at all
>he challenges me to a duel
>i feel shit running down my leg
>the time comes
>townsfolk assume im already dead
>fire early out of pure fear
>holy shit he's dead
>the whole town is looking at me
>i just ride out of there drowning in shame
>mfw years later some fucker makes a song about it
>mfw im a hero
>mfw they will never know
Be me
Other urls found in this thread:
go post your new vegas larp on /v/
Actually found this amusing. Here's a "kek" and a you.
>Being this new
thanks for the chuckle
Based and Martypilled.
>be guy from Texas trying to find a wife, get a decent education, and settle down
>daughters beg me to fuck them senseless because of physique
>young guy, hormones, up for anything, even if they're on their period, get the unfortunate nickname "Red" from obnoxious friends
>fathers keep trying to fucking shoot me when they find out
>probably killed about 20 in self defense by now
>branded outlaw and forced to live in the boonies despite never having done anything illegal in my life
>good christian, guilt eating me alive
>keep notches on my gun to remind me of my sin
>hear there's a ranger in town that wants me dead too
>in penance decide to turn myself in
>decision brings peace, not worried anymore
>but have no intention of letting him just take me, so bring my piece just in case he makes a slip on my 4th and 5th amendment rights, as is my proper 2A right
>holy shit this cop is STRAPPED
>walk out in street so overpenetration from his huge fucking cannon doesnt hit any toddlers or women
>place hands on top of head and try to explain situation
>"officer, look, this is all a huge misunderst-" BLAM
>he puts a fist sized hole in my chest when I hadn't even cleared leather
>as everything turns cold hear far off voice of the local songwriter echo in the darkness
>"Don't worry Ranger, I'll take care of this, the nigger had it coming, most you'll get is admin leave call your union rep..."
>as my soul returns to the earth, my last thought reverberates into the void: "doesnt my life matter too?"
Found it funny so I made a screencap.
10/10
>Be me
>Live in the west Texas town of El Paso
>Be the superior song from this album
Plot twist: OP is droopy-eared basset hound with a hat too small for his head.
>>holy shit this cop is STRAPPED
The Alamo is the best song by marty robbins.
Reddit and zoomers really have ruined this fucking place
>Be big iron
>Created by big, burly gunsmith
>Papa's nice to me, does maintenance on me often
>Sit most day in a glass case, chatting with my other gunbros
>Make friends with a single action army by the name of Frankie
>Frankies a cool guy
>One day a young man walks into the shop
>He's fairly handsome
>Kinda scruffy-looking though
>He walks up to the counter and chats with Papa, ends up buying Frankie due to not being wealthy enough to buy me
>feelsbadman.png
>Frankies happy to finally be able to shoot Indians like a real gun
>Still in case
>sadgun.png
>Wait in store for weeks, if not months before another man comes in looking for a revolver
>Clad in black head to toe
>Clean shaven
>Brown eyes, black hair
>He's got a rangers badge pinned to his chest
>He paces around the store a couple of times before stopping at my case
>He looks down at me
>He opens the case
>ohshit.gif
>He looks down my sights, checks my chambers, fingers my saftey, the whole nine yards
>lewdgun.png
>Puts me down on Papas desk
>They talk for a few moments
>I'm bought
>Happiest day of my life
>Later that night in his hotelroom
>He unholsters me, safety now on
>He takes out some .44 magnum rounds
>ohgoditshappening.gun
>He slowly inserts his big, girthy rounds into my chamber
>No longer an unloaded virgin
>feel like a real gun now
>He holsters me and leaves early in the morning
cont...
We ride for a bit, eventually make it to a small town called Agua Fria
>How did I know it was Agua Fria?
>Very simple, the guy kept talking the entire ride, likely to me
>Yeah I know, a bit weird but he was a real nice guy
>Get into town, dismount and start walking around
>Can feel people stairing at me
>shygun.colt
>Can feel how nervous the ranger is too
>Eventually he has a chat with some townsfolk in a bar
>He's going to duel someone
>sweet.png
>A litte while later, we're out in the street
>Notice the guy standing at the other end of the street has a single action army
>Wait holy shit that's Frankie
>"Hey! Frankie! What's going on man?"
>Frankie looks a bit different, he's got 20 notches on him now for some reason
>"Biggie? Is that you? Shit man, glad to see you also got bought too! It's been too long"
>"Yeah man, what've you been up to lately?"
>"Oh you know, the usual, traveling about shooting indi-"
>Suddenly feel ranger wrench me out of his holster
>He fires off a hot recoil filled .44 magnum from my barrel before Frankie is able to answer
>senpaiplsnotsorough.lewdgun
>He looks about in a panic before holstering me again
>Hear some random musician talk about how he's going to write about this
>Ranger says some words and fucking hightail it out of there
>never got to finish talking to frankie
>mfw got a song writen about me and my rangers exploits
>mfw he called me reliable after we got out of town
>mfw he did some maintenance on me for being such a little good gun
>feelsgunman.arizonaranger
fin
>He slowly inserts his big, girthy rounds into my chamber
>No longer an unloaded virgin
They're all fucking great, ranking perfection is impossible.
Based.
toasting in epik breast
>race mixing song
>best
no
did you shit your saddle tho
the badge I wear upon my vest is better, prove me wrong
...
GB2R
To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day....
To the town of Walla Walla rode a stranger one fine day
spread firearms facts around him had a lot of shit to say
no one dared to say twice nothing no one dared to take a sip
the stranger there among them had a big Steyr on his hip
It was late on Saturday evening when he rode into the town
He was camping with his wife there slowly looking all around
He's a dentist loose and running came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to shoot a chrono with the big Steyr on his hip
In the town there lived an outlaw by the name of Robert Mills
20 men had tried to take him and those 20 were his kills
He was vicious and a killer though a youth of 26
And the truck he called his weapon had all kinds of little tricks
Now the stranger started talking made it plain to folks around
was a former army ranger wouldn't be to long in town
He came here for competition with his muzzleloading kit
and he quickly angered Robert with his dry and cunning wit
It was later that same evening when they had their fatal meet
Robert Mills trusted his life on the automobile's speed
Paul Harell then aimed his Sporter A1 Colt AR-15
and poked some holes into the outlaw's pickup's window screen
MOM I POSTED IT AGAIN
saved your thread from death.
nope, Ain't I right is.
what's this new meme?
>i feel shit running down my leg
(shit running down his leggggg)
you gonna post that on reddit you normie fag?!
Maybe I should rape you for being a massive faggot
SDFGHGFDSDFGHJKJHGF
kek
maybe I'll like it just for the sole purpose of taking the satisfaction away from you of it being a rape
>fingers my saftey
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>good christian engaging in rampant pre-marital sex
Executed for hypocrisy.
Lego version.
youtu.be
based and minifigpilled
>live in Agua Fria
>kinda a shit hole but it's home
>only one big problem we get like a gun fight a day
>it's off the hook, I've seen like 5 people killed in a single day, all by different people for different reasons
>Texas Red must have killed like 20 men by himself
>life goes on in Agua Fria whatever
>one day some stranger comes into town packed a god damned hand cannon or something
>he doesn't have shit to say to anyone he just keeps looking around
>ah fuck here's another outlaw here to do some business with that big iron my neighbor says to me
>not my business he can just go fuck right off
>outlaw starts talking shit about how he's a Arizona Ranger and is here to take Texas Red in dead or alive
>well shit that fella is gonna get himself killed by ol Red
>morning goes by it's like 11:20 and the Ranger and Red are squaring up out in the street
>must be 40 feet between them; good distance to start shooting
>bam
>Red is down, his pistol hadn't even cleared leather
>oh my fuck that ranger is fucking fast like I was waiting for them to do some banter or something maybe show off some moves with their pistols
>nope that ranger just shot the guy with no warning, nothing; one second he's standing there and before it's the next second he's shot Red
>guess he's got places to be
>well shit it's like still 11:20 and the next gun fight isn't till 12
>gotta go kill 40min
>fuck Agua Fria
You're trying too hard for too little
Post Rare Martys, Anons.
doing gods work user
>Nobody has posted it yet
Screencapped. And where did you find out it was a colt A1?
>"Don't worry Ranger, I'll take care of this, the nigger had it coming, most you'll get is admin leave call your union rep..."
goddamnit
>fingers my saftey
>44 magnum rounds
you ignorant sack of shit
Kys
Ranger, you aren't going to like what I have to tell you, but all I offer is the truth. You hate Texas Red, because you are weak. You lack the necessary skills and talents to be a badass outlaw. Were you the kind of person who spent a large percentage of your waking-hours dedicating yourself to a singular purpose; an iron - the BIG iron, a career or perhaps a healthy mix of both, you would find that most, if not all of your hatred and focus would be redirected as energy into that activity. Instead, your hatred is directed at Texas Red because you are lazy and unmotivated.
Even Texas Red who, for all intents and purposes, is considered "vicious killer" by society's standards, managed to attract a good-looking, available, personable posse because he knows ... not think, not feel, not believe, but KNOWS ... that he has acquired enough skills through sheer hard work, for his confidence to be justified.
You would know this also, if you did a single day's worth of hard work in your life.
I could only guess, but in one video he says that his AR is an A1 with an A2 handguard.
Some of the best green text in a while.
Better than deer fucker.
are you actually retarded or are you just pretending
>read "Walla Walla" in the first line
>Instinctively try to sing the words in my head to the tune of Paula the Koala
Good song tho
This is so rarted it's probs bait
To illustrate what the past replies have said:fuck you nigger
Nice, haven't seen that one before.
This was almost good but
>Safety
>.44mag
Reeeeeeee
I may be a normie, but I enjoy a few subs on reddit (though I'm not really there more than like once a week). I know it's a cancer mot of the time and it gets worse, but you can find decent people there. Like in r/firearms people go full SHALL NOT all the time. Also I don't think the worst part of normies will get it.
Anyway how do (you) know that I posted it there?
Fpbp.
That album sucks dick anyway, it just gets circlejerked on Jow Forums because "muh big iran hur hur get it im so funnie huurr *fart* sniiiiiffffff".
Anyone got Chief Big Iron?
>untermensch injun cope
Cringe.
>>He unholsters me, safety now on
>>He takes out some .44 magnum rounds
>a revolver with a safety
>.44 magnum rounds in a western period
Wew
makes me quake
>Hey ya hoy ya Hey ya hoy ya
Every time
Nigga youve got some TASTE
>not Running Gun
lel bro
kek
Thanks user, I wanted to do exactly that.
Redditors are naturally karma whores, and this behavior screamed Im gonna post this on reddit and get my 7 karma
Trips don lie. This man is write
What's your idea of superior music, faggot? Master's call is peak cowboy.
kys asshole
please tell me this is b8
>.44 magnum
>safety
First post blurst post.
Your opinion is shit and you should feel bad for having it.
