"Wait! Don't shoot! I surrender! I'll return the stolen NASCAR paraphernalia, I swear!"

>"Wait! Don't shoot! I surrender! I'll return the stolen NASCAR paraphernalia, I swear!"

What do you do?

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youtu.be/IxTAJNifDAI
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rape

IT BEGINS

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Eat his ass

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Drop your trousers son, gimme those hands. Now you're going to feel a slight pressure in your rear that's just my dog getting friendly with ya.

yeah

not shoot, check him for weapons, shackle him, talk to him. if he's just some poor guy trying to make a buck, tell him that that's not the way to go, and let him go, telling him if he ever shows up at my house again, i will kill him. if he's being a piece of shit, i call the cops.

WILLARD NO

Shoot. A lot.

"YOU TOUCHED MY EARNHARDT PLATES!!!"

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Kek. For real, do any of you guys seriously have NASCAR merch? I never really considered that there might be legit unironic rednecks on Jow Forums. (and that's a good thing)

>returns it

"Yeah but you removed the diecasts from the cards and that is a crime that I cannot forgive"

No. We're weebs and furfags mostly.

My dad passed down a lot of old NASCAR things he owned to me, he had a bunch of old car miniature collectibles and cards.

Cook him a bowl full of eggs
Tell him that he doesn't have to tell me what happened, but he has to eat these.

I prefer the company of rednecks over people who complain about rednecks.

what about people who never talk about rednecks?

>"THIS ONES FOR DALE!"
>Mozambique, 3 shots for the number 3 car
>with NASCAR commemorative revolver

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ALL of them.

>stolen NASCAR paraphernalia
wanna know how I know a coastal jew started this thread?

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Rednecks are at least productive most of the time

They're the best, next to Kemono and Friends fans

If I have security cameras, detain him. If there's no evidence that he surrendered, 3 to the torso

Hypothetically speaking if you live in a rural area and someone trespasses onto your property (a couple sketchy beaners, clearly methed up) could you just off em and bury them without anyone noticing. I’ve been pondering this a lot lately, especially here in California were we have one of the highest missing persons cases a year. Do you think the police could solve it?

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Do you not?

make him eat a bowl of eggs

I've worked at both a Cabela's and a Whole Foods. Holy shit, give me the Cabela's employees and the Cabela's customers any day of the damn week. Whole Foods had the occasional yoga milf but the Cabela's I worked at was between two college towns and had some top trim working there.

If they have cell phones on their person, fuck yes they could.

>Not worshipping at the altar of Kilo Bush, Gnarl Shredwards, J-Stew, and Junior.

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Gottdang and gott bless

based and eggpilled

How though? The cops aren’t going to use resources like that to track down a couple nobodies. What if you took the phones and drive them out of state and drop them? How come the thousands of people that are never found located by their phones?

Yeah okay shoot him for that.

>joking about owning nascar shit is the same as complaining about rednecks.

people who aren't rednecks who defend rednecks because they think people 'complaining' about rednecks are anti-white sjws are the true annoyance.

that HAS happened here at least once. Likely more

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your alright.

Growing up rural it freaking baffles me how people are afraid of trailer parks or 'hollars' Literally just dont fucking trespass on private land and your good.

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h-hot

Let him go, it sure as hell isn't my NASCAR crap.

it isn't easy determining whose property you're stepping on when those places are an ungodly mess and the tenants perception of their property expands as the alcohol rises in their blood

>What do you do?
Put him in pic related. He'll make a fine addition to the 'others' in my basement.

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Road = not property unless behind a sign or fence.
End of the lawn is normally a safe guess aswell.
Proper means to approach is to be clearly visible and approach the front door like a normal person.

thats fucked up man

GIVE ME MY DALE JR EDITION RC COLA

Or have sensible fucking laws where people are required to mark the borders of their land.

I unironically have a bunch of 1/24 Bobby Labonte diecast

YOU PICKED THE WR9NG HOUSE FOO!

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YOU FUCKED UP MY LIMITED EDITION SCALE MODELS

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>rape
>execute
>dispose of body and evidence
in that order

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I have a copy of NASCAR 06 for the PS2

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say you scard off somebody.
or you said everything out of your pockets. now fuck off

>bobby
>not terry
ya dun goof'd

You gonna learn today
youtu.be/IxTAJNifDAI

This thread is now about NASCAR memorabilia you'd kill to own.

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Shoot them in the leg

>le rednecks r bad meme

Wasted get on this liberal bullshit. All you've done is show him the importance of having a gun for his break ins and now the next time he breaks into a house he'll have his glawk fawty with him. So then when the next home owner puts up a little fight he gets a bullet for his trouble. What you've done in effect is kill the next home owner yourself. Ask yourself, is society better with the thief dead or alive? I think you know the right answer.

>Gran Turismo music
Fucking based.

Oh my bad, I guess I phrased it unclearly. I meant to say that rednecks on Jow Forums would be a good thing. I like them.

>see you in court user! thanks for the non-lethal GSW! I dindunuthin!
>no problem Tyrone, better luck next time! see ya in court!

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>"Not JUST the NASCAR paraphernalia..."
>Proceed to rob the robber

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Nah makes more sense

I'm not saying they will be located. I'm saying they could be located. It depends who's looking and how hard they are looking.

Point my 1911 at him scowl and start loading him Down with all the Nascar Paraphernalia. He is going to walk away with it all and not get rid of one piece. If see him toss aside even one commemorative plate or a single Dale Ernhart Jr. bobblehead I swear I will plug him full of 7 holes.

Chain him up in the basement wearing nothing but the balaclava and a babydoll, then proceed to forcefeed him hormonal pills until he's developed a cute pair of small, lactating breasts.
Boy's gonna be my cow till the day I die.

>Tie him up at gun point
>Put him in car
>Noseatbelts.jpg
>Fly my 2003 honda civic down the highway
>Use my VTEC to go straight into a wall
>Earnhardt strikes from beyond the grave

get my Chase Elliott racing suit back and slam my Taurus .38 SPL revolver grip on his temple

i watch NASCAR lol

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Visit the home of someone you hate with the phone, then dump it in the woods on the way back.

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>force him to eat my 1/16th scale Mtn Dew sponsored Nascar model.
>all of it.
>heimlich him if he chokes
>we keep going.
>finishes eating the car
>force him to take an entire box of Colace laxatives
>now we wait.
>his next task is to re-build my model.

Tell him to rob my anti-gun neighbors.

No, but my dad did.
Now IndyCar merch I can get behind

Let's be honest here on who would be robbing your house.

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We're getting pretty meta. I dig it.

Mag dump

What if someone is a furfag and genuinely enjoys redneck shenanigans? A-asking for a friend of course

My friend is also curious.

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That mustache.

GIVE ME BACK MY JEFFS!!

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He's white, I'll just wing him in the arm

>"n-no no I'M LEAVING!"
>"No you're not
>pull out ziplock bag with an old .38 with the serial number scratched off you bought at a yard sale 7 years ago
>he sees it and his face contorts into one of shear terror.
>"I-I-I-I'm addicted to heroine! I just needed something to sell to get another hit PLEASE I HAVE KIDS"
>"PLEASEDON'TSHOOTMEPLEASEDON'TSHOOTM-"
>BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Pepperspray him in the foot. If he's being too agressive, I might even speak firmly to him.

>my nascar shit

Most of that was my dad's. You've declared war.

Waste him. Literally no one will know and I live in Kentucky.

The world's fastest Christian.

>the part where dale blocks for waltrip

Damn you lemon, it was a masterpiece.

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in that case i'd shackle him drive him out to the swamps and the let the gators have him

>Chase
Based. I was glad he actually got some wins last season. Hope he does well this year.

I'm a furfag and a redneck.

And a Jow Forumsommando obviously. I think redneck life is the best life.