Forces of the unknown have caused our world to merge/combine with a typical (or not-so-typical) fantasy world. Old world governments have managed to hold on to major urban and suburban areas, but rural areas range from fragile peace to complete chaos. People and towns from either side suddenly find themselves in a new realm, and portals going between both worlds are scattered through out the lands.
>Threadly Question: What would you enchant your raifu with and why? Any other enchantments you use on your gear?
>writefags: Send a message to [email protected] if you want to have your story archived
>inb4 "No Fun Allowed" -You don't have to browse this thread -Whining about the thread won't stop the people posting shit on it from posting shit
Not sure about my waifu, BUT, I know that I would enchant grenades so that when they explode they have a daisy chain affect and make everything else explode that they touch
>inb4 that one guy comes in and starts complaining
Elijah Phillips
Yes goy! The high elves don’t understand why you need such frilly guns and that wierd things. A wooden bow is all you need for defense.
Aiden Reyes
I will enchant my gun with penis enlargement, so every time I fire my penis gets a little bigger. I'll have the heftiest penor in the world.
Isaiah Mitchell
I choose to enchant my gun with an enchantment where every time I fire it this man cums blood and his dick gets smaller.
Dominic Campbell
Link to previous bread, for the shits and giggles
Angel Howard
So a large group of fairies (around 40-50) have moved into the apartment next to mine. They seem friendly, but they constantly play pranks on me and the other residents, play music very loudly, and I've noticed my ammunition and beef stocks depleting a worrying degree. I cant prove its them, but i fucking know it is. What are some good ways to get back at them? Nothing lethal, i dont want to invoke the wrath of a fairy swarm (you've all seem what they can do to a full grown man when theyre on Peel) but i do want to let them know its not just gonna fly that theyre doing this shit
I wouldn't really enchant my guns as much as I'd enchant a handful of ammo to get out of sticky situations the enchantments would probably vary depending on the situation, but most likely nothing too fancy
>writefaggotry, animefaggotry, and fantasyfaggotry in one cancerous general that belongs on /trash/ You retards don't even talk about weapons. Fuck off to discord if you wanna fantasy ERP.
here's your problem >1. if your this retarded that you can't appreciate it, good job >2. The same could be said about Jow Forums in Jow Forums... and I don't hear anything. >3. writefaggotry gives potential for more people joining on to Jow Forums giving us all more people. /ARG/, /AKG/, /BRG/ and so on could all enjoy more members, and more people can become part of the magical place that is Jow Forums.
1. Most discussion here is tasteless fanfiction and pictures that may as well be by horny teenagers on deviantart 2. You degenerate reddit faggots report threads and posts that are "too political", "racist", and "anti-semitic", as evidenced by how often jannies respond and delete them 3. Writefaggotry and these threads attract even more annoying off-topic people like OP, while enabling the ones already here. You already see this with weebs trying to start 4-5 anime only threads at a time on here. Why would you want more people displacing the core userbase of Jow Forums?
weebs have 1, just the image level just causes it to reach the limit sooner. but you tend to mistake it as 2. it's simple. just wait till the thread goes past the 10th limit, then create another thread. It's just internet politeness. but if you're going to keep having a stick up the ass, fine by me.
Christopher Wilson
spray your ammo with hot sauce.
Dominic Gomez
The core user base of Jow Forums has always been racist, anime loving, furry degenerates who jack off to milsurp. I fucking hate you Richard Spencer-lites coming in here and shitting up literally every single thread with rants about Russia and Jews. I abhor you people. The quality of Jow Forums was already bad when I first got here, but since 2016 it’s gotten so much worse. Go post about “cuckime” somewhere else.
Jeremiah Roberts
I shall do the classic. one of just simple holy damage, and light weight. and have it be a .223 FN FAL, just so I can honestly unironically carry a holy relic.
Mason Williams
Remember that guy who shot the fucking larping human loving elf? He was me. I’m back with another fun story for you fags. >going through the desert one day >hear a loud flapping above me >look up into the sky >god fucking damn it >it’s a fucking harpy >I hate those fuckers >doesn’t seem to have noticed me >and luckily, I’m carrying birdshot >the first shot clips her in the wing and she immediately goes down >I hear a loud scream as she falls >hits the ground with a pleasant crunch >as I approach her I can hear sobbing and crying >by the way she’s moving -or lack thereof- I can tell that she’s broken lots of bones with that fall >her stupid bird legs are all angled wrong >the fucking harpy seems to have stolen some surplus gear >she has a heavy winter coat on with the arms cut off for her wings to stick out >she has a nice looking Ppsh-42 with her >she sees me and begins screaming for help >someone by the name of “user” >Jesus fuck is EVERYONE here named user? >take the Ppsh and strip her out of the coat >for the hell of it I cut off her clothes as well and take her phone >take some pictures and send it to all the contacts >break the phone before leaving >as I walk away I can hear her crying and pleading for help >I like to think that the coyotes got to her before any help came >fuck Keebler’s, and FUCK HARPIES
Jaxon Powell
>LE TRAPS AND FURRIES ARE Jow Forums AS FUCK!! >die cis alt right scum Lmao I would be surprised if you were here before 2018. You're fooling no one, reddit tranny. Go back.
I dknt want to kill them or maim them, mostly because they arent too bad other than being college girl tier neighbors. They do bake some pies every once in a while and leave them out for people in the complex, but even those are pranked from time to time with peppers instead of cherries. Besides, im pretty sure their forest magic makes then immune to predatory birds and animals in general This seems like a good idea, just hope they dont retaliate too badly
Colton Kelly
You came here in 2016 you newfag election-nigger. Fuck off back to your containment board or return to reddit, I don't care which.
>posting your LARP fantasies because youre too sad to get even an Elf GF and have to write fanfictions A supreme gentleman, indeed. I suggest a therapeutic emotional support fairy, ive heard great things from students when the uni brings them out during finals week to play.
Joshua Anderson
put a note on the case box. >Ammo is cursed with the pain of a thousand sons if used as pleasure tool. please talk to (insert name here) if you want the curse lifted.
story telling more than anything, no there are no rules, anything is welcomed
Jason Foster
Listen here you dumb nigger, I don’t like traps, and furries are AIDS, but you’re just as fucking bad. Go post about the kikes on Jow Forums, I’m sick of it. I really, honestly, don’t mind if it comes up every once in a while, but when you cockroaches go into threads to do nothing but shitpost about how much you hate weebs, it gets annoying.
Xavier Butler
knife-eared fucks will be extermined
Noah Gomez
>Talking about harming harpy that is pretty obvious Harper without saying it
Harpy* user. Also, trips have spoken! It shall be so!!!
Carter Ortiz
I think that a scenario in which a fantasy world meets pre ww1 world would be neat. >tfw you'll never shoot dragons with bolt action rifles and maxim guns.
not so much the raifu as much as several magazines with a bottomless enchantment. one for supersonic, one for subsonic, one with tracers, and whatever other ammo types i cant think of right now. if i must have one on my rifle it would probably something that reduces or eliminates bullet drop. i also remember someone creating a rune for your barrel that would use heat to power your enchantments so i would do that to.
Daniel Hughes
not turned into cocksleeves and concubines?
Jaxon Martinez
Gernal notice, im really sorry to anyone who has been reading my story, ive been meaning to update it all week but works been screwing me in the metaphorical anus with hours and shifts changing all the time. I promise I'll try and get some more done tonight or tomorrow.
You can spot the newfags a mile off. Remember when Jow Forums was all about threads like this one, as well as other scenarios? Back before the time of AK general, AR general, What Gun is best for X, This guy slaps you GF's ass/Blocks ur path/etc what do? threads. Lurk moar faggots and learn your board before you post.
Its just a bit of fun, and worldbuilding Jow Forums style. Feel free to add something of your own.
Thomas Rogers
maybe that too, before you exterminate them
Nathaniel Ward
do this to a double barrel shotgun for the keks. imagine if you will >you see some humie' about to enter Ogrestreet, and hes got one of those fire sticks. >it's a double barrel. literally why would anyone use something like it. >your about to mug him by putting up a knife to his throat when three Full grown, Just straight Eavy Orks just run by you, and yell to da Humie "GIVE UZ YOUR BANGIE STICK AND WE'LL LET YA LIVE!" >Then the Umie just opens up on them BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLAK >you then hear a single scream. He hasn't stopped BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLAK >you then turn around the corner and see HIM STILL FIRING BLAP BLAPBLAPBLAPBLAPBLAPBLAPBLAPBLAPBLAPBLAP >the third ork is dead. he is a mist. You then walk up to the man and become fast friends. Turns out his adopted brother sent him to look for medicine for his dying father. Pic Related, Is you.
>Waaa why wont this community conform to my narrow newfag views People like you are the cancer that is killing not just this board but all of the chans. Please return to reddit and never come back.
Christian Bailey
>Chilling watching japshit on TV in underwear, 2am >hear glass breaking >cowabungaitis.webm >pull out trusty boomstick >birdshot/fuck-your-shit-rounds because fuck your face >works wonders on harpies >been a few weeks since I shot my last one, I should probably go back to that desert >those KFC faggots love that desert for some reason >and my shells love them >all kinds of shit in those shells (nails, pebbles, porcelain, regular birdshot, etc.) >hear footsteps down the hallway >sounds like crocks? >ok that's one weird nigger >whatever, Papa's Ithaca 37 will take care of it >kick down my own door when I hear them walking past in the corridor >SURPRISE FUCKERS >activate slamfire.exe >PIIIN-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >FUCK MY EARS >SHOULD'VE BROUGHT EARPRO >the smoke from the vaporized porcelain clears >nigger is still standing, his armor shining in the dark >fuck fuck fuck >he lifts up his visor >reflectively shoot him in the face until my shotty's empty >"OW WHAT THE FUCK NIGGER, I JUST WANTED TO TALK YOU RETARD" >wut >he doesn't have a face, more like a skull >a skull with shattered glasses and fuck-your-shit shot stuck in it >how is this nigger still alive? He doesn't have a fucking face! >oh wait >he's a fucking skeleton man >"WHY IS YOUR MOUTH OPEN LIKE THAT NIGGER? BEGGING TO SUCK COCK?" >wut >"TOO BAD, I DONT HAVE ONE!" >who the fuck is this guy >why is he in my house >what the fuck is going on >"BUT I GOT THIS, A GIFT FROM MY OWN MILK MOMMA" >-milk what? >"DON'T YOU TRY TO TAKE HER FROM ME!" >he pulls out a 12-inch black dragondildo >I'm standing there stunned >pulls me close and points a luger at my temple with his other hand >"we don't want to turn this rape into a murder, don't we?" >mfw
>Dont like something >Autistically screech all over it like a retard chimp instead of just ignoring it Sometimes I wonder how I can share a species with people like you.
Jaxon Russell
Hey /meg/, I need some help. I wanna go BMO (Battle Mage Operations) for the Wizard Force, but I've got a fucked mana channel in my pinky. Can I get a waiver for this, or am I fucked?
Levi Evans
I believe the species of which you are thinking of are more recently classified however were most easily noticed in the early 20th century, are known as the "White negro" subspecies of man, often lower on the intellectual spectrum then actual retards, who although somewhat lower in intelligence, can typically fix that issue with high work ethic, and a focus on improving one's self, while the white negro blames others for their problems, typically interested in being political authoritarians who lay on political extremes. the name was started by a British reincarnation of the Akkadian emperor, Sargon.
Jason Bailey
how fucked? we talking simply not working, or if you use it you become an ork weirdboy without his channeling stick (reality assundering tear that kills everyone)?
Luke Garcia
Alright this is transcribed from the previous thread. This will contain a lot of background info so brace yourselves anons.
Parts of the world are still stuck in the 19th century and the "civilized" world is set in the mid 20th century so we get muzzle loaders, black powder along with breech loading weapons, bolt actions, automatics and self loaders for militaries of developed nations along with industry. The other world on the other hand is preindustrial and never invented gunpowder. Instead they use medieval weaponry and tactics, such as phalanxes, shield walls, line charges, horse cavalry type attacks etc.The merge did not happen in our world but rather in an alternate reality where the countries have a different history and ways of events unfolding than in our timeline, however for the sake of my own sanity I will refer it as "our world". The merge world creatures were spontaneously transported along with a portion of their lands over to the MC's world, with some of its inhabitants obtaining refugee status in some (((((cuqued))))) countries like the Kingdom of Norskea, while the rest of the world sees them as either subhuman or demons. Sometimes they build large sovereign settlements in already claimed land and that would cause conflict, either they would get what they want, or they would build their settlements on completely unclaimed land. There are portals that merge with our world to the other world. The governments of the other side of the portals see the portals a bad omen, and so they forbid anyone from crossing over, as anyone who does never returns. So in other words, we are an enigma to them. However people and objects from our world can cross over freely in and out. Eventually the portals destabilized and both world merged together, changing the continents and adding landmass. The ensuing chaos from which destabilized the world governments, and gave rise to new nations human or otherworldly.
Cont. from before The story is set in the former Federal States of Nortlande ie FSN (North Land) where the government has lost contact with the local governments and small townships completely, only maintaining control in a smaller portion of the country, so that the rest of the former FSN has Balkanized completely into small independent city states and townships of humans, demihumans, fantasy creatures and "hot zones" that contain artifacts. The merge has brought all sorts of artifacts and creatures from the new world, ranging from your standard elf, orc, goblin, to gemstones that can cause the holder to internally combust at the cellular level. Or grass that can attack you if you try step on it by crystallizing its cellulose cell walls to form spike traps, or moss that can turn its photosynthesis into stored electric potential, to spider silk that is tougher than steel wire and can cut anything that even barely touches it.
Cont These artifacts can be sold for a lot of money to the government, but even more to the black markets in the large cities or trading hubs. This is where the MC comes in. He is a Nortlander who did some merc work in the former Republic of Suidlande (now inhabited by humans and other creatures) and Suid Zwarteria (Former colony of the RoS in the continent of Zwateria, now colonized by elves, orcs, goblins, and (((((basketball jugglers))))) post merge) before the Merge happened. The MC has now taken a contract with a PMC in the FSN where he along with a female elf, two other humans, and a civilized orc, agreed to serve in a company sized deployment to south Nortelande to train the local wood elf population on how to defend themselves from orcs, goblins, and the occasional raider party. Their company was ambushed on the way by a dragon and subsequently lost due to them not packing any anti-dragon rifles or anti tank rockets. Only MC, elfette, human bros, and orc bro survive. They get to one of the jeeps and radio in their situation to company HQ, only for the HQ to tell them to complete their contracts and to deal with the dragon if necessary. They must first establish a line of travel free from dragons for the company to send the LRRP team supplies, ammo, and fuel. The rest of the story involves the MC and the LRRP team reaching the wood elves and teaching them about guns and fighting off hordes of goblins and tribal orcs. Cont.
Cont. >be user >merge happened worldwide 10 years ago >governments all over the world collapsed >especially Zwarterian countries >who am I kidding Zwaterian """""countries""""" didn't have governments they had like a shaman or some shit. >the Federal States of Nortelande has completely balkanized and its power is now extremely restricted to the East Coast in areas near the capital. >the military has collapsed and chaos ruled the streets >until people started to pull together and form makeshift militias >no-guns become has guns overnight as orc, goblin, white trash, and (((((nigger))))) raiding parties become the norm >tfw it took the collapse of society for liberals to realize that the right to self defense is really important >tfw they only realize this as Grun'rug and Tyrone penetrate miles deep into their women's rear echelons >weliveinasociety.jpeg >Elves live in the woods of the northwest FSN and anywhere with a lot of trees really. Dwarves assimilate well into cities and large human settlements nicely. Orcs and goblins live in tribe like settlements and don't contribute anything to society so they plunder and steal. >some orcs are actually decent, something about a genetic disorder. >overall, though some semblances of society and civility remain in the world, outside of the town and city walls, it's like the old Western Frontier Conflicts movies by Mint Weststeele >in this world, might is right, and the right to bear arms and the arms to bear arms are the mightiest of them all
Fast forward to present day in a new era, in the year 11 AD, in a seedy bar somewhere in north Nortelande >"so user, what do you think of the contract? 10 silvers an hour and you're technically never off the clock while you're deployed, so that's... what? 24 golds per day for a whole month, that's 720 gold or 7200 silvers. Pretty good deal to me man." said the elf recruiter. >"I suppose, what about the weapons situation? Are we to be provided weapons and ammo or just ammo?"
>"you'll be provided with a standard issue firearm a week prior from our HQ, you can bring along a sidearm too, but we're not paying your sidearm's ammo, what gun you get depends on your operational status, if you're a big guy you'll probably end up lugging around a belt fed, looks like you're just some rando dude with average muscle definition, so I'd say a bolt action or selfloader." >"what's the protocol for 'field findings'?" you ask >"any artifacts you find is yours to keep, just make sure that you can safely contain it, last time some dickhead orc accidentally took home some Greenrock and gave his whole unit cancer. Thank the Gods for Bluewater... you know, sometimes I still feel it burning inside me." >"I'll never be able to bear children again; that's partly why I'm a merc, elven culture dictates that we must contribute life the world for the lives we have taken, but now my village thinks I'm no better than a human..." >ok current year but since she's cute you let it slide >wait a minute >"oh shit it's not contagious is it?" you ask in exclamation >"no user, but just don't touch my bodily secretions and you'll... >...probably... >... be fine." said the elf.
Cont. >*sighs*, "so the mission is to train a bunch of new wood elf arrivals how to use guns and form a militia?" >"correct" >"against what?" you ask >"the usual, orcs, gobbies, harpies, and what you humans call 'Nortelander-Zwarterians'?" >"sweet heart you can just call them niggers." >"oh? okay?" >"so you'll get paid at the end of each week of your deployment, you'll deploy with a company sized element, so around 150 combat personnel; however the size of the unit you'll be fighting with might vary depending on you operational status. Any further questions?" >"yeah, I thought we were just gonna be training the woodies, not actually participating in combat operations?" >"well... expect the unexpected, you should know right? From what I heard you deployed to Markaya during the Markayan Emergency before the Merge." >you rub the massive machete scar over your right brow and cheek >"I don't wanna talk about it." >"ok, sore topic." >she shifts uncomfortably in her barstool. Her ears twitching, her fair hands playing with her shoulder length auburn hair. >she loosens her tie and unbuttons her shirt collar and pats down her knee length dress. >"you know what? drinks on me." she said, "Bartend! A whisky for for my friend here!" >you and her get finish a whole bottle of whisky together, the knife ear's got a pretty cute identical twin. >"so user? Will you accept the contract? 720 fucking gold!" >she gets pretty vulgar when drunk too >"ahhhh, fuck it! I accept!" you exclaim in an inebriated stupor >she hands you a pen. >you touch her hands, soft yet hard >you have a feeling she's probably some hardcore operator. >"say user, I haven't told you my name yet have I?" >"no, don't bother. I don't want to know." >she looks hurt, a lock of auburn hair falling over her emerald green eyes. >"ok" she muttered >ah shit I hate crying elves >they remind me too much of what happened >"look, it's not you, it's me."
It's just not working. This shouldn't be a problem, right? I mean, most spells and incantations don't require both pinky channels, but even those that do have work arounds. Do they even test for it at the Mage Entrance Processing Station or can I lie about it?
Camden Collins
I would add calm touch. you touch it and it calms you so you can aim nice and proper
Thomas Morales
if i could make like a trick weapon from bloodborne that transforms from a rifle into a greatsword thatd be great.
Daniel Morgan
Cont. >"I'm just trying to make a living, I'm not trying to make friends with anyone. In this business it's foolish to think that everyone will be able to get along and get out of a contract just fine, like it's a goddamn picnic." >she just looks at you with a flushed face, brow furrowed in contemplation. >"alright, I understand user." she hesitates for a moment. >"you have until next week to report to the staging area, I'll write the address down." >she takes a pen out of her breast pocket and writes down the address. >"see you on the other side, Mr. user." >she throws a couple silvers down on the counter and begins to walk off with a woodland camo jacket thrown over her shoulders, her knee length OD skirt trailing behind her as she opens the bar door and steps into the dusty streets of Neu Hawe. >you take the napkin to examine it >'report to Neu Hawe Warehouse District at Hanger 1 on January 1st at 0500 sharp.' >'PS, my last name is Liichen.' >goddamnelvishtricks.webm >you couldn't help but sharply exhale oxygen from your nose in a mirthful manner.
So I'm the Centaur user. I didn't die, but life kinda started kicking me in the ass. I haven't had a chance to do any writing or even keep up with the threads. Consider me on hiatus.
Lincoln Wright
>Generic Gate plot Lame.
Ian Jones
Oy vey goy why do you need master level enchantment books and daedric weapons? What, are you going to kill a bunch of school children?
eh, let them know, It's going to save you in the ass, and you don't have to worry if you don't, you always have a spot with the medic/engineer corp who might need some healing assistance. just some advice though, keep extra grenades, during my term that was what 90% of magical fuckups could be fixed by. and enemy fortifications... now that I think about it, Blowing shit up fixed a lot of problems.
Aaron Long
Alright, user. Fuck, dude. I hope this doesn't DQ me.
Leo Cook
Have fun dying for the (((high elves))) while whatever girl you pick up gets dicked by orc niggers while you get killed in some shit hole swamp by a bunch of gobs lmao
Tyler Taylor
Cont.
One week later January 1st, 12 AM; 0500 hour >you make your way over to the Warehouse District through the main streets of Neu Hawe. >it's cold as hell, so on top of your OD fatigue shirt you are wearing >city was originally a sea port town on the northwest of Nortelande; after the Merge telecommunications were cut off from the government >the city was on fire for two weeks before the local army garrison decided to say fuck it with riot control gear and went house to house clearing out looters and cracking down on anyone carrying a weapon >the city was under control, but then rumors about there being 6-8 foot tall green men taking out messengers got out of control. >the people have been living in abject poverty and living conditions for far too long so they started to ambush army patrols with molotovs, glass bombs filled with feces and urine, and IEDs. >local goblin gangs would also attack citizens and raid their pantries and the dead. Orcs would just do the same, but worse and with more semen. >the garrison was too busy fighting the insurgency to deal with the raider attacks on civilians and were instead defending checkpoint and fuel depots >soldiers hit with the shit bombs sustained septicemia and antibiotics and medicine was running low. >troop morale hit rock bottom when families of troopers were targeted >eventually the army garrison surrendered when they realized that they could not win an insurgency with limited resources and dwindling supplies >it was at this time that the elves came out of the woods to introduce themselves to the humans >at this point the humans were so high strung they shot the incoming elves, thinking they were hostile >this ignited a two year war that ended with both sides fighting to a stalemate, with the humans running low on people, supplies, and resources, and the elves running out of forest to live in >most of the remaining fuel was spent on molotovs
>eventually a horse drawn caravan of Dwarves and mountain town trappers reached the Neu Hawe >they brought with them soil samples filled with a type of bacteria that when combined with Spikegrass artifacts and allowed to decompose would create a very similar petroleum substitute. >Dwarves offered to help with the reconstruction of Neu Hawe in exchange for access to 10% of the city's power from the hydroelectric dam >Elven refugees at this point had no homes to live in, and many migrated into the city as workers like Roaches into the Kaiserreich after the Second Pancontinental War to aid in the reconstruction >to this day the elves still have a sense of superiority over human inhabitants in Neu Hawe, claiming they rebuilt the city from the ashes of human folly >the humans responded by barring elves from entering human run establishments
>you run all this info across your mind as your leather low boots stride across the gravel paved alley >this is knife ear town, and the shortest way to the warehouses is through the elf hood >you get glares from blue and green eyes everywhere you look, their ears twitching with anger >your finger twitches on the trigger of your Johnning Hi-Mag with anticipation >sweat forming smudges on the parkerized finish >you hear a clicking noise to your left, and out of instinct drop onto your sides and draw your pistol at the same time >bang! bang! bang! >you let loose three 9mmx19mm Antebellum rounds on an elf with a Fields trapdoor rifle10 yards away >ringa10ring.baby >the leaf muncher crumples like a tree after a detcord explosion >out of your periphery you see a female elf with a bow knocked back and aimed at you >you roll over into a pronated position and Mozambo'd her >she had the same auburn hair and green eyes as... >...no! Finish the fight or flight! >you get up, kicking dust behind you as a .52 caliber ball streaks past your feet and ricochets into the wall in front of you Cont
>you look up and see a male knifeear clumsily trying to reload, partially obscured by acrid black smoke >you pop off two shots that connect with handguard, splintering the wood and lodging a round in the barrel >sorryraifu.52cal >you continue to run towards the warehouses, looking back and pointing at anyone who dares approach you >eventually you reach the Warehouses and approach the gate guard >he gives you a weird look, and asks for your paper work >he takes a look, recognizing the Company's logo stamped on the notarized paper. >you're out of breath, and make your way towards Hanger 1 whe... >"user?" said a feminine voice >you look over to your left, sweat rolling into your eyes, partially obscuring your vision under the incandescent bulbs >a familiar figure steps forward, it Liichen >she was wearing a khaki service shirt and woodland jacket. >she had on a simple OD canvas belt with two OD rifle mag pouches for her OSG-40 held in one hand. >"I heard gun fire, you were trying to save time going through Elftown huh?" she asked in a concerned voice >"yeah, well don't worry about me, worry about them, I think I took out like 6 of them on the way over." you responded >she laughs, "Oh user, we haven't even officially deployed yet and you've already racked up a body count?!" >"well might as well get started, it's almost 0500 isn't it?" >"you're right user, come on, let's get you some coffee." Cont
Hey guys. So as it turns out, chain of command wants me off a leash. They're telling me James and I are now officially "New World Scouts". Hopefully I don't give anyone any old world diseases or catch super herpes in the process. One of the officers gave me a blank list. Told me to list my preferred gear setup. They also managed to build a World War 2 jeep for me. I was a pizza boy back in LA with an old Toyota Celica so it's the same idea. So far my gear list is as follows.
Oh, did I mention I get to choose my clothes on the condition that I wear something that identifies me? OCP top, with proper patches, jeans, and tan boots with my daughter's baseball cap.
>Never fired Daniel Defense Mark 18 with an Eotech holographic sight(I keep a bunch of different sights in the trunk) >granddad's colt 1911a1(look, it's an heirloom, he carried it from Normandy) >In case that fails, I keep a P226 in a first aid kid >NODs >a small array of knives for practical use, but I carry a Tanto for defense(god forbid I actually need it) >M67 frag grenade belt(If I have to use this I'm so fucked) >Costco sized bags of non meltable candy(peppermints) >leaflets explaining who I am and what I'm doing
Anything else I should add? Oh yeah, will also be going outpost to outpost stopping for fuel. Any refineries I should go to?
Leo Murphy
Cont. Interior of Hanger 1, a middle aged Dwarve speaks
>"I am Commander Darion of the 4th Company of the 1st Expeditionary Battalion. Our mission this month is to deliver arms and munitions to the southern wood elves in south Nortelande and serve in a combat advisory role to the clients." >"Remember! You are entering into Wild territory! Or as you humans would call it: Indian territory! So expect to be ambushed by anything running on two feet! But keep your wits about you and you will make it out alive! Alright, now collect your gear, find your unit at the areas with your unit number, and prepare to board your transports.We're moving out at 0800." >The commander steps down and everyone lines up at the makeshift armory. >You are placed in the Platoon Point Squad 1, Platoon 1, with an orc named Grunk, pretty quiet even by human standards, dude was full on bear mode at a height of 6'2". He carries the squad .308 cal belt fed. Wears all OD Green fatigues and a boonie. Motherfucker must have an excess of green camo paint. Jokes about how his tribal tattoos get all the elf and human girls wetter than a drowned goblin infant >The squad radio operator was a young 5'8" human dude called Funker. He is a redhead with a 12 gauge Trenchgun, 10 inch bayonet and a bad attitude. REALLY likes to get in close with the enemy, too much for an RTO. >Then there's a 5'7" guy named Tunnel Rat. He grew up living in the old Metro station under Neu Hawe, so his sense of nightvision is pretty developed for a human. He carries a .45 cal Owen gun with a folding stock and fuckton of grenades. Wouldn't be surprised to find a potato masher up his ass for emergencies. >there's you with a .308 caliber Mk-14 Battle Rifle and OD fatigue shirt and OD cargo pants and a pair of black leather low boots with gamaschen. >then there's Lii... >wait >then there's Liichen with her OSG40 chambered in .308 with her tornister on. >"what're you looking at user?" she asks coyly Cont.
>Walk inside the cafe >There's a short, round negro woman at the counter >There are a few melaninated individuals, almost all of them old as dirt. >A few drow are there as well, hanging out with the younger negros. >Not a single white person to be seen aside from me and Ulysses >Nervouschuckle.jpg >Woman at the counter waves us over, "Mornin' boys! Come on ova' heeya and getcha orders made!" >Remember that I'm fucking starving >I practically haul Ulysses over to the counter. >She holds up a yellow notepad, "What can I getcha suga'?" >Hmmm.png >Point to the "Nawlin's Special" >Scrambled eggs, hash, hot green beans, alligator bacon and two biscuits. >fuckyeah.jpg >Ulysses orders the "Bayou Barbeque" which consisted of spicy gumbo, a biscuit, alligator jerky, and came with an authentic cream soda. >She smiles at us, "Alright boys, that'll be twenty dollars even!" >Holy shit, that's cheap as fuck for two people. >Ulysses is pulling out his wallet, I stop him >I hold up the 200 I had, thanks to my removal of an orc and an elf. >"I got this." >Never have I been the one who paid for food. I was usually too poor. Friends used to take me out to eat because they pitied me. >Not today >Put down a twenty, she takes it with a smile. >She hands us a card with a number, "Your booth is right over there, sugar. We'll get that out in a minute!" >walk to the booth with Ulysses >Nervousness fades as hunger sets in >old as fuck negro behind us is complaining about "Fucking Goblins shitting up his yard" >After a few minutes, the waitress comes out with our food >Eat like I haven't seen food in three weeks >Ulysses has ordered a morning beer >that was twenty minutes ago, he now has had three >He's obviously buzzed, "user, you gonna finish that biscuit?" >Go to hand him my biscuit, he misses the grab completely and sinks back into his chair laughing, "Ah fuck, I'm outta it." >We sit for a minute, just enjoying the food and the atmosphere >This is nice. A welcome respite from it all.
Cont. >you blush, "you... you're part of my squad?" >she giggles, "well of course user, what kind of recon squad doesn't have an elf?" replied Liichen >well shit she's right, these knife ears tend to have better hearing and eyesight than humans >"well user, pack your stuff up, we're leaving in 5." >she walks off and you can swear that she is shaking her heart shaped ass at you on purpose. >are those blackberries you smell? >you shake off any impure thoughts about lewding the knife ear and attach your assault pack to your A-frame and A-frame onto your OD tornister and your tornister onto your webgear. You put on your camo netted K-pot helmet and packed up your ammo and made sure your pack was tight. >your squad heads towards a 6x6 painted in the M81 woodland scheme with a .308 cal belt fed on a pintle mount on top of the rear roll cage. >Funker gets in the backseat and mounts his radioset onto the passenger seat back. Grunk gets on the gun and pulls his zeltbahn on, it's finna rain soon and the jeep doesn't have the canopy mounted. >you get into the drivers seat and Liichen gets in the passenger seat. >you all don your ponchos and zeltbahns as the weather starts to worsen. >the convoy begins rolling out of the Warehouse gates, the guards saluting your unit as your company departs south towards you mission. >Accompanying the convoy are five 5 ton cargo trucks carrying ammo, meds, food, water, and guns for the keeblers. >3 Gage Kommando Scout Cars with twin .50 cal Johnning MGs and 4 6x6 MUTT guntrucks. >there are ~150 men strong in convoy, no way anything on two feet are gonna fuck with us you think to yourself >meanwhile the sun has gone grey and the sky keeps pouring rain down on the convoy as it races down the ruins of the old Interstate highway as you all go deeper and deeper into Indian territory
bring plenty of M&Ms with you. they don't melt and elves go crazy for chocolate. Also, pack plenty of >pic related because its worth its weight in gold dust to the elves. Weapons wise I would recommend a shotgun of some sorts, and if you get that pack birdshot, buckshot, and slugs for it. birdshot works good on goblins, while buckshot works on most things that are larger. Slugs are good for orks and ogres, but be sure to aim for the head or heart. maybe an mp3 player full of songs and a speaker would work good, and solar chargers for your devices. electricity is not very common on that side of the portal. also, prime choice on the 1911. great gun.
I'd enchant it into the 'luv gun' which would proceed to make people ultra horny. Then i'd arrange to have unlikely pairs of people stand next to each other and make them hot for one another. I'd show up each morning with a camera for the inevitable post coitus hangover, and coyote dog ugly shenanigans.
Zachary Hernandez
I would make movie starlets fall in love with midgets, I would make Tom Cruise come out of the closet, I would pair size queens with noodle dicks, everywhere people would be loving and fucking like monkeys, I'd buy stock in condom companies and make bank, like opening a planned parenthood next catholic sorority, i'd be rolling in the dough.
Sebastian Reed
Salt, food in the form of MREs, water, a camelback, a hunting shotgun with a few hundred rounds of buck and bird shot... Gonna stop by the elf village I got captured then go outpost to outpost.
Wish me luck guys!
Christopher Gomez
Then I'd laugh as I cart their retarded looking kids off to my internment camp- err.. i mean, education facility! I wouldn't teach them more than 4 words of english as I forced them to stitch guchi loafers and assemble i-phones.
I'd make parents sign wavers before sending their 10 year old children into a machine shop with actual running industrial machinery so they can learn how to assemble refrigerators and install air conditioning units in peoples windows.
The endless array of horniness would continue as I made world leaders gay for each other. I would bring the Big Gay, the Little Gay and Big Gay, if you know what I mean, and I would drop it on saidi arabia so all those sandy little buttholes clean the beach crumbs from their assholes, Saudi Arabia would be like a fucking Bel-Air cruise ship.
Wyatt Martinez
Could you put me as a character?
Gavin Gray
Pretty soon everybody is driving around dressed like Olivia Newton Jhon and Liberache in pink cadillac convertables with whale skin hubcaps and baby seal eye headlights, eating a bacon cheeseburger while wiping their mouths with the American flag.
Well all line up in gay bathhouses like jews heading for the showers until we get our permantly infected AIDs buttholes, so we actually need a fucking 'cure' to live, and were all depended on the motherfucking WALT DISNEY CORPORERATION to fairly adminster the drug they bought from the patent troll who sued the pharmacutical company who stole it from the non profit that took advantage of the team of undergrad scientists who rediscovered a cure that had been commonplace and created in 1975!
AIDS does not exist, okay? Its the death of the spirit, its your lifeforce literally leaking away, bit by bit, until all you are is a used up hedonist incapbale of feeling any stimulation unless you shove a literall lightning rod up your anus to stimulate the aluminum clip they installed in your prostate!
But you know what, thats our lot in life okay? We fuck, we breed, we fight, and we die. Thats the nature of life. Everybody competes, losers get eaten.
Ryan Ward
I'm not going to feel fucking sorry for the deer I eat. I killed it, fair and square. I killed it, i skinned it, i fucking ate it! And you know why?
Because I can, okay? Because I fucking can. No other fucking reason than base, human cruelty, and not a god damn person in the world can fucking stop me?
And do you know why? Do you know why motherfucker? Cause I GOT THE BOMB. Thats right, right now, I'm holding the world hostage and i got everybody in the world looking at me, and you know why?
because IM DOING SOMETHING INTERESTING!!!
You don't get to be a celebrity or artist or comedian because you know a guy who knows a guy, you do it cause you got a raw, primal energy, that needs to be released, like a fucking animal, you need to release this energy.
You need to unleash it upon the world because THEY FUCKING DESERVE IT. Thats right, THEY fucking deserve to be shat on, screwed over, punished in everyway imaginable because they are fucking PIGS, and they are unclean.
Cooper Wood
I enchant mai raifu with feminization enchantments, of course.
Isaac Brooks
>shoot someone >they become qt waifu material >then they die
Julian Carter
Spices. Not for cooking for trade. Saffron, peppercorn, salt as the other user said, mustard seed, cumin seed, paprika, curry powder, ect. All in large air tight containers and carry a bunch of small closable containers like the film ones. These are your trade goods and will net you traveling funds.
Juan Bennett
I’m liking this so far
Julian Mitchell
Glad to see you are still around. Early await more but take your time.
Gavin Adams
>AK enchanted with sound amplification X10.
I think some people, in the rush to forget silencers, forget how terrifying hear a gun the first time without war protection can be. Now imagine it being louder against a force who finds such concepts alien.
Matthew Howard
Minus the gator stuff, both my grandmas used to cook food like that. One recently passed away and the other doesn't cook much anymore because she can't get around well. I miss that cooking. I cook for myself, but it just doesn't taste the same. Thanks for the memories friend.
No problem user, sorry to hear that about your granny. My advice? Ask her about her recipies. I'm sure she'd be more than glad to share them with you.
Zachary Morgan
>it was around 1200 high noon. >there's a low overcast, because you can't even see the sun anymore. The rain was pouring down harder than usual for this season >the convoy speeded down the old Interstate at a blazing 60 miles per hour in a staggered formation with at least 100 feet between each vic >the 5 tons were in the middle, while the 6x6 and command car was spaced out in between the lead and rear guard APCs >your vic is in front because muh reC0n tip of de sPeer. >"All vicks status report" said Commander Darion >"Status nominal, all units operating operationally, copy how copy, copy, over?" Funker joked over the comms >"Oh cut the shit Funk, you want the butter bar to chew you out again over proper radio comms?" said Lii >"I wish the motherfucker would, then I'd show that fucking leaf muncher the superiority of a knife in close fights." retorted Funker whilst twirling his 10 inch bayonet >"You do realized that he could just pull out a pistol right? Just cause us elves like to use bows over guns more often than not doesn't mean that we don't how to handle a piece." >she clicks off the safety and press checks her OSG-40 just to make her point, her emerald eyes gleaming in the dark afternoon sun. >oh holy shit mane she scary >but why is it so arousing? >oh shit eyes on the road! >you see a small squat green shape on the gravel road just in range of your periphery, you yank the steering wheel hard right, causing the 6x6 the swerve hard into the right side of the road. >thebloodandfatonlymakesitworse.mpreg >Grunk is going crazy over the smell of blood >calm down boy >Funker.jpg >calm down you elven maiden >Tunnel Rat is still asleep. >thank Dog for wide Nortelander roads. >you fight over control of the 6x6 and come to a spinning stop three inches from the bumper >the Commander and his other XOs start chattering over the comms Cont.
Levi Gutierrez
That's all for now, got school, will finish later tonight.
