Iran War Draft!

Oh shit! It is January of 2020 and the war against Iran is going really poorly. Look at the chart: If your assigned number is 195 or below, you have been drafted.

Classifications: sss.gov/Classifications

Exemptions: sss.gov/About/Return-to-the-Draft/Postponements-Deferments-Exemptions

What happens to you?

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>122
Always wanted to see Tehran

Being drafted does not mean you actually go. If you're too far or stupid or messed up, you get to stay.

Atleast the women are hot. Rolling

Fat*

Roll

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Rawlin

>June 28th

Alright then. Let's go kill some sand niggers!

You don't roll. Look at the chart.

Tell them to fuck off.

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Don't worry about it, I think they'd just have you guys stay home for being too fucking stupid or something.

>038
relief.png

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>223
It's a sign, I must volunteer

Only if you were born in 2000

Time to fuck up some hadjis

>012
>google what Persian pussy looks like
Huh, they're like Spanish arabs. Could be worse, I'll have the sampler platter- hold the cheese

>google what Persian pussy looks like
fuck, when did google become a porn site

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>over 195
GOD DAMMIT, I MISS OUT AGAIN. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TAKE ME WITH ALL MY FAULTS, YOU ISRAELI LAP DOGS!?

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>three heart attacks
>history of cancer

Already tried, took a fat 4-F on my enlistment form. They won't let me in.

Oh shit I had cancer too. The Chinese could be shelling DC and they still wouldn't let me in. Well ok in that scenario they would but any military willing to accept me is an even bigger loser than I am.

151; 1-D; see ya'll in a while.

014
What should I write on my helmet?

Roll

>136
See ya guys

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I'd just play a game of minecraft with whoever tries to collect me

You don’t roll you fucking dumbass

rolling

whats the number for cyber intelligents?

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rolling on down to tehran

>709

Whelp i dont see the number in OP. Am I a general or the commander in chief now?

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Worst part is I don't look like I'm fucked up. My hair's still intact and I used to look really underweight. These days I just look *normal* I guess.

Bump

>119
Wish I were Murrican
Or had an intact spine

>350

Have fun in the sandbox losers. I'll be dicking your girlfriends at home.

>175
Cya faggots

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>Literally at 195
I swear I think my birthday is fucking cursed or something.

Roll

757 woop woop going over to your house to fuck yuh girl jarhead

Rolling.

You do realize your chart only goes up to 361 right? How the fuck do you expect any of us to roll those numbers? Jow Forums is a slow board it's gonna take a day until our post numbers go back to 000

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>tfw 1-D
also all these retards rolling
look at the chart, its based on your birthday
2/3 of these rolls wont even be on the chart

That's not how this works, retard.

>242

I'm lucky I don't have to die for Israel

See

Roll
Won’t matter anyway I’m not dying in like our 8th war in the past 10 years.
See ya innawoods faggots

Whats the age max?

18 to 25 is the range
they start with the 20 year olds, work up year by year to 25, and then down to 19 and lastly 18

Oh i'm too old then.

293

Looks like in staying here boys. Go get em for me!

see, I've already solved this by having an incurable skin disease

>34
Good thing I'm fat and epileptic.

Oh boi lets go innawar

its based on your birthday, captain autismo

>year 2000+19
>he actually enlisted for the draft

>037
Looks like I'm joining up, getting American training, then shipping out, fragging officers, aiding and abetting, and finally defecting.

>364
Never gonna happen anyways

You get automatically enrolled when you register to vote I'm pretty sure, and a lot of stuff requires you to be.
Want student loans/grants? Have to prove you enrolled.

ROLLLLLLL


i got scoliosis you cant draft me you commies.

Registering to vote, getting a driver's license, getting student aid

Can I make money cutting apart dropped guns and selling them as parts kits?

Don’t forget, you know, not going to jail

>010

Too bad I have a permanent military disqualification due to medical conditions.

Rolling

I want a desk job thank you officer

how does the chart work

>tfw got my certificate of discharge and I'm beyond the draft-line too
Fuck you, moving to Alaska.

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You find your birthday on it. Say you're born january first. Your number is 305.

Thanks Mr. Bolton.

10

I don't want to risk being killed or hurt just to shoot sand niggers for israel or KSA, But I will fly a drone. (if they put me on the front I'll go AWAL and say I was kidnapped)

ah fuck

Well, I'm not getting drafted, but I'm already enlisted so fuck me I guess.

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>be huezilian
>country is an american/israeli puppet
>thought I wouldn't have to go to war as tension in venezuela lowered
>now americans are going for iran
>tfw we have conscription
>tfw instead of getting latina ass in caracas I will die in a shitty desert on the other side of the world.
I can only hope we'll see WW3 soon so at least I can end my suffering in a relevant war.

roll

I'm not drafted, but I was already in the military anyway, so that doesn't nean much.

What does it look like?

Report to your nearest military base as soon as possible, you will be briefed your orders within the next week.

>96

Fug

Stop larping

>257
I'll be there for your girlfriends before I willingly join the Coast Guard Auxiliary lmfao

already served. wouldn't mind making sergeant fresh outta basic though.

>095
I am ready

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>102

I-I played Battlefield 3, I'll be fine.. right guys?

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>333
I am good.

This is bullshit. It's the same draft lotto from Vietnam and I'm still fucked. Luckily, I am too old to die for Israel this time. Suck on that Zoomer.

>Rolling
Kill a Irani for Granny!

I just became a minister

Give me iranian war bride.

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Imagine the smell after a long day of 105c Iranian weather

>Ministers are exempt
>I was ordained 3 months ago

Rolling

>I'm not drafted
>Brother is in college
Suck it, Bolton.

018.
Im gonna kill me some Iranies, find a sturmgewehr, parts kit that shit and build a semi auto at home. Kill baby kill!

>158
At least I'm too old to be drafted

What religion and denomination?

>037
Oh boy here we go

45 and fat, but goddamn I'd like to slot some cameljockey floppies.