"911, what is your emergency?"

Baseball. Kept falling into his colon. OR didnt know how to handle it. Consulted ortho who came up with the idea of using a hip socket hook to get something to grab it. Called us back because they didnt have a drill bit long enough. Literally used a heavy rescue drill to tap a baseball in some guys ass and screw on a hook so they could pull it out.

From my last week at work?

>Toddler breaks back falling out of a 3rd story window
>one year old has seizure and stops breathing
>several domestics, one involving a 17 year old hopped up on meth and all kinds of other shit that took 4 officers to get in custody. Another with a female on some sort of dissociative anesthetic
>gang members beating another one with brass knuckles and splitting his teeth
>4 OD's two fatal, one where I got her breathing again
And of course
>fighting belligerent drunks

Jesus christ.

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MY MONKEY JUST RIPPED MY FRIENDS FACE OFF!! OH GOD I'M GONNA FAINT! SHOOT HIM!

DOOR STUCK
PLEASE

I axed for no onion and the bitch put onion on it
imma gonna kill this bitch all up in herr

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I'm pregnant and going into labor.
I'm not female.

ahh yes, I'm not wearing any underwear

>be me be fire for small town

"Tell [new guy] to go pick up dinner for the station"

Holy shit

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Sister works in an er in Memphis. Once they had a call where a dude got two beer bottles shoved up his ass then they broke them by punching and kicking him in the guts

>what do you mean sir-
DICK
DICK STUCK

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>Ye-yeah, uh, these guys tried to break into my house
>Don't worry though, they're all dead
>But my house, the neighbors house, and the electrical pole out front are kinda on fire.
>What? No, of course I didn't make my own flamethrower. They must have had some kind of Molotov or something in their hands.

Silent Hill isn't even a mainstream game nigga

realpost why not just use your arm

he got a baseball up there, surely he can deal with some fisting

silent hill has like 9 games in its series and the early ones got rereleased like five times each, fuck outta hear it's basically as mainstream as resident evil

Well at that point you'd also have to add the additional circumference of a hand around the ball when pulling it out

look man. guys have fucked horses without injury before. and this guy probably had to use his hand to get that softball up there anyway. even if he's not fine, his butt will heal. or just be better prepared for next time. either way, it's a win

this honestly sounds like it was on purpose, like that thing they do in brazil with the tires

I was playing with my dog, and... Look, just get over here, he's been stuck to me for like 40 minutes now. Help!!

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I had all this bedding expoy left over from my riffle... yadda yadda yadda... now my asshole's completely glued shut

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Listen here you little slut!
You tell those faggots down at the Station to stop sending chumps to infiltrate my compound!
Frankly it's getting embarrassing and I can't afford the body bags!

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Atelier has a shitload of games and its' not mainstream either you smooth brained monkey

silent hill got a AAA movie release with Sean Bean in it lmao

it's not completely a pop phenomenon but anyone who plays vidya at all who isn't a literal child has probably heard of Silent Hill, just like theyve probably heard of Max Payne or Ghost Recon

My friends mom is a nurse and told us about a patient who had 4 pool balls stuck up his ass. She won 20 dollars because she guesses the first one would be an 8 ball.

Its sold 9 million copies, that's not CoD numbers but if you dont think that's mainstream then you need to socialize more.

You're really regarding the shitty western games, and the so-so film adaptation? Silent Hill died after 4, and Konami does not care for it at all. If they did, I would have 2, 3, and 4 on steam by now.

Tell that to Mr. Hands

*underrated

>Konami
I hope Konami hq gets wiped out in the next tsunami. Digits and it's a prophecy.

>nigga.
go back to twitter.