YLYL

YLYL
It's been over a year Jow Forums but the judge said today that I could have my guns back. I just need to wait for paperwork to be transferred to my local police station. I will officially be back in possession of my guns sometime next week. God how I miss my Garand.
How about a YLYL to celebrate with me!.

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inb4 your guns are "lost"

I lost

What happened?

Congrats what'd you do

This

>be 19 y/o dumb kid
>no job
>live near farm
>dad gets to know boomer farmer
>boomer offers me a job as a hand
>taught a lot
>witness cow give birth
>get curious one night while setting up the milkers
>start evaluating the cows lady parts
>some look pretty inviting
>small brown cow really stands out
>already being milked and relaxed
>*put finger in cow*
>it's wet
>it's velvety
>it wants me
>Im hard as fuck
>*insert penis*
>not exactly what I expected but feels alright
>2 minutes later boomer walks in
>I turn other direction and attempt to zip up pants
>boomer just stares at me for 30 seconds then asks me to leave
>go home
>3 days later
>too afraid to go back to work
>cops knock on my door
>apparently what I did was illegal
It's been 4 years now and Im relieved I dont have to tell people why I cant shoot guns anymore.

what the fuck am I reading

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How was it?

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Someone as retarded as you shouldn’t fucking have guns. I mean, go full 1776 if you disagree, I explore you, but while we live in this totalitarian shithole, and are taking guns from people, you should be first on the list.
Just, fucking WHY?

>explore
IMPLORE
PHONES NEED TO GO FUCK OFF AND DIE, FUCK THIS LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR SHIT

I could barely feel it but it kept me hard and it looked like it was pulling on my dick as I drew back so it had some kind of grasp. I jerk off a lot and I think I have less feeling in penis than normal since it was comparable to my fleshlite but warmer and no one complains about loose fleshlites. I kind of expected to feel more of the muscles contract or something but it was just smooth.

Oh, please. As if you've never thought about plowing a cow.

>*put finger in cow*
>it's wet
>it's velvety
>it wants me
>Im hard as fuck
>*insert penis*
>God how I miss my Garand.
This is what Garand owners are like?

I call bullshit.

I have thought about a cow plowing a field, but not about me plowing a cow. I think that is how it is for most people.

>virtue signaling through disarmament of nonviolent people who did something weird years ago will make us look better!
Not a violent crime and it happens more often than you think.
Im sure theres a few who dont fuck cows

>tah-mate-O
>tah-mawt-O

At this rate im not surprised we've had deer fucker and then cat fucker who had his guns taken away.

No, user. I am from a farming background and somehow, I’ve never thought of fucking the livestock.
That’s what sisters are for

If some on my farm fucks one of my cows they’d be lucky if I don’t shoot them myself.

I'd be pissed if someone was fucking my wife too

The fucker or the cow?

do you fuck your sister or do they fuck the livestock? farms are a confusing place

Only my sisters, I'm not a sicko

I need more details on this because if you were caught then I assume you didn’t cum and leave biological evidence and unless the farmer had photo/video evidence then everything was just hearsay. How were you convicted? Did you immediately confess or not get a lawyer?

>Dat skank assed cow done be cheating on me!

I wish I had a sister

Oh hey, another shitty obviously fake story thread!

If he has a judicial order, that would be VERY bad for the department involved.

death cant come fast enough

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Are they hot?

Icht Macht Nicht.
Sentence was issued and served.

OP may be a wretched buggering reprobate, but.. He served his time.

And if the sentence is insufficient, the next "logical" step is the rope. (Or stainless steel cable, as it is reusable). BUT, OP served their time.
They fuck up again, previous infraction plus current= "best learn to tap dance in the sky son".

Please have pics

>It's been over a year Jow Forums but the judge said today that I could have my guns back
wtf did you do? and why did you willingly give them away?

It's in the thread already, you mouth-breather.

Oh dear lord.

oh you sick fuck.
what's the judge's name? I need to write him a letter that you should never be able to own guns.

You don't have the legal right to make such a declaration in the first place, and you've probably fucked your cat.

If you haven't fucked your cat, you've probably fucked your dog.

If not your dog, then some other animal- likely obscure.

It's fucking Jow Forums, you mouthbreathing retard.

This. Time Served.
Like it or hate it, it's U.S. Law.

And frankly, the "time served" is the only well observed part of it.

look at the bright side: you can join the furry fandom and they'll probably upgrade you to "advanced deviant" on the spot.

Don't bother. Unless you killed it for sexual pleasure, too, you're capped out at "arch-deviant". The nazifurs won't even deploy the ammonia+bleach against you at that level.

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Tell me what state you live in that could give rise to a creature such as yourself so I know to never, ever enter it under any circumstances

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>If you haven't fucked your cat, you've probably fucked your dog.
>
>If not your dog, then some other animal- likely obscure.
>
>It's fucking Jow Forums, you mouthbreathing retard.
stfu you sick fuck and quit projecting your MENTAL ILLNESS onto others. No, I haven't fucked an animal of any kind you mentally ill piece of shit.
Seriously, just kys before you harm someone else.

I'll dump some for our average Jow Forums user
Plowing cows is a respectable buisness

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Veteran with PTSD got redflagged by my mother

I talked with the officer in charge of the evidence locker and he seemed very cooperative. have me his card and told me to call him around next wed. I still have a little faith in the system. Not much but some

They redflagged me and got me in my sleep. took the guns while I was in the hospital.

At least you didn't fuck a cow!

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This fuck ain't me. I passed out on the couch. Just got back to the thread

Bitch, what was the excuse? Suicidal?

It was claimed I had been making threats against people.

Couldn't you just go stick your dick in a McDouble instead, like a normal degenerate?

I thought that once you got diagnosed with something mental you couldn’t buy anymore. Every time I buy I do the checklist and think about it

as long as you haven't been voluntary admitted withen 6 months involuntary withen 5yrs or found mentally incompetent or found not guilty of a crime for mental reasons withen 20 yrs

PROJECTING: THE POST

I'm beginning to think that at least half of Jow Forums are furries

Shit, sorry to hear about that user. Had similiar situations myself last year, people seem to think that making up threats will solve their problems. How's your relationship with her? If someone did that to me I'd cut off all ties with them.

I'm beginning to think most of Jow Forums are easily trolled morons.

Maybe a third.

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It's very strained

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cow girl thread?

Moo

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Why are these sorts of people so common here? What did we do to God to inspire this cruel joke?

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>atf declares that unicycles are a type of skateboard and shoot that guys dog

Great now you can shoot yourself

Moo

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I demand more cowgirl

>you can kill it and eat its muscle tissue totally ok bro
>woh WOH YOU MADE BOTH OF YOU FEEL GOOD? OVER THE LINE

what...the...absolute...fuck

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>*put finger in cow*
you crossed the event horizon and now there is no coming back

/thread

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I got a fever, and the only cure, is more cowgirl

Lost

The fact that you know what a fleshlight feels like is despicable.

i second this

My God, I hope this thread is bait.

It's threads like these that make me wonder why I ever post on Jow Forums.

*put finger in your ass*

COWabunga it is!

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>falling for le epic larp meme greentext xddd in 2019
The absolute state of this board

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Long shot, but... I don't suppose anyone have the template for this one?

At least the sick little twist didn’t diddle a kid or rape a woman.

I worked with a guy who used to joke about fucking goats. One day I flat out asked him. He says you try being a horny kid on a farm.
And you can’t fuck your dog cause who would you hang out with.

His jokes were a lot less funny after that. Other than that he was pretty normal. Even served in the army.

Fuck you Carlos.

I can't belive there are people here reacting so negatively to someone fucking a cow. It sure is summer here, has been for years.

do not worry amir al-din, they will go away soon enough

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