any and all stories
>be me
>move to heavily urban shithole
>go to lgs
>2 boomers behind counter
>store is actually well stocked
>try and talk about guns
>all they do is try and get me to buy raffle tickets for gats given away in Dec
>buy weird obscure ammo that one of them swears by
I got one
>be me
>summer 2017
>go to state capital for course
>go to hearing on Constitutional carry bill
>people who introduce it just make one good point and go down the reabbit hole with dumbass protestors
WhAT trAiNiNG dO YoU HAVe?
>counterpoints having nothing to do with the actual bill
>die inside a little with every dumb counterpoint and response to them
>look like pic related
>Moms demand action is there
>wierd bitch gets up to talk
Hi Im autistic
>wut.mp3
And if this bill gets passed autistic children will be shot in schools because they act weird
>I cant decide whether Im more confused or angry at this point
>she leaves and is thanked for her bravery by state legislator
>feel like Ive been kicked in the balls of my soul
>cuck ex governor speaks out against the bill a week later
>WHY
lmao what state?
Wisconsin. everything else here is good but that shit was stupid
Your biting flies suck...... but they do here in MN too.
Sorry if you get tired of hearing this one
>Be me
>onna date
>girl is 4/10
>imagine if the pilsbury dough boy had a retarded fatter daughter
>driving her back to her place
>have revolver in console
>talk about bad neighborhoods
MY DAD SAYS IM THE ONLY ONE HE TRUSTS WITH THE GUN
>have you ever practiced with it
NO...HE SAYS IM THE MOST LEVEL HEADED
>ok
>resist urge to shoot self as she rambles on about how great shed be in a HD situation
>get back to her place
>breath smells like dogshit
>she takes off pants
>smells like seafood thats gone bad
>does wierd hip thing like shes tryna break my penis off
Moral of the story: never hesitate to shoot yourself
why would you have sex with a 4/10?
why would you even talk to her unless you were required to in order to complete your work?
I just look through fatties. I don't even see them 80% of the time. The other 20% they're with some hot chicks and I was checking out each girl in the group when I came upon them, scowled in disgust, largely subconsciously, and proceeded to ignore their existence.
Just stop being fat and if you're ugly, unless it's temporary, take up a high-risk profession for the benefit of the rest of us. At least do something that requires you to interact with as few people as you can. Fuck.
he's probably 4/10 himself, not that we judge too much.
I considered that but I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. Makes life happier.
>F
>New Year's Eve party winding down
>watching God Bless America with friends
>it gets to the park the main characters buy an AK
>dealer says it's a 7.62
>one of my friends says that's not a "real" AK because that's a western caliber
>I point out that it's 7.62x39, not 7.62x51
>remember a Jow Forums story about a dude who went "actually" at Sam L Jackson calling his handgun "Mr. Nine Millimeter" even though it's a 1911, and then a Jow Forumsommando went "ACKTHUALLY" at him because it's a Star Model B in 9mm
>realize I'll never be free from the gun autismo
>be me
>onna date
>with cute range trap
>spend morning in dollywood
>spend afternoon at bud's gun shop and smoky mountain knife works
>dinner at red oak bistro in gatlinburg
>second date
>watch kiki's delivery service on the big screen in asheville
>pho at red ginger
>snuggle and binge-watch girls last tour
Now he's my innawoods operating buddy and all around sweetheart. Life is good sometimes, anons!
Fag
Not a 4/10 but not great. this bitch actually approached me and was thristy to an obnoxious degree. Im a junkyard dog, not picky
Homo
You keep telling this story. I feel like you should try to get out more and have some new experiences.
>I'm a junkyard dog
I keep remembering this advice after I've hesitated
Ha Gehæ
Never gets old.
Fuck these niggers, I love this story
>waiting outside lgs with acquaintance about 5 min before opening
>just bullshitting nothing special
"Yeah I used to have an FN SCAR that had 3 round burst
>Wait what? How?
"Oh I bought it from a buddy who got it on a military base."
>proceed to tell him about how impossible that is based on Hughes Amendment etc
"Oh no it's okay because he got it on a military base"
>apparently military bases are like indian reservations now?
>Okay assuming that IS true, where is it?
"Oh I had to sell it back to my friend to cover medical costs"
>yeah sure
>the store opened and we went inside
This was just the first in many red flags that lead me to believe that he was full of shit and not to be believed on anything.
It’s nice to have a good bf, ain’t it user? Just do us a favor and don’t act like a queer. It’s the reason why people don’t like us.
What is the point of this story?
Star Model Bs are pretty great.
The FN SCAR never had a three round burst.
>>imagine if the pilsbury dough boy had a retarded fatter daughter
I'm imagining a 1/10. Why did you rate her 4x higher than that?
I have an uncle that swears up and down that a friend of his "makes" bullets (i.e., reloads) and owns tons of machine guns (i.e., semi-auto AR-15's). He has no clue about guns, but likes to show off other people's possessions and accomplishments as his own, with plenty of embellishment.
>"I have sex and you don't, loser"
Except no one here envies him for going after fat chicks/animals.
Fatties physically repulse me much worse than naked men.
>be a mentally ill faggot
>find another mentally ill faggot who thinks he's a girl
>deludedly act as if he's a she
>foster false hope in the pointlessness of your life
>set yourself up for massive depression when you wake up to the fact that you are 45, childless, have no hope of fathering a son, and you've become the end of your family tree; all that your ancestors worked for will die needlessly with you
Life is not good for you.
Is he making fun of himself?
>Be on Jow Forums
>The gayest site ever
>Has whole board for gayness
>Has whole board of people who hate women
>Most popular /qst/ is femboy elves
Are you lost?
Jow Forums isn't the gayest site ever. /lgbt/ is a containment board, to keep your kind OUT OF the other boards. We call each other "fags" because we hate fags so damn much. It's the worst insult we could think up, worse than nigger.
You were stupid enough to wander in here, see the common use of the word "fag" and wrongly assume that we were using it seriously. That's on you, cocksucker. Not us.
>Doesn't know about /cm/
I found the Jow Forumstard
Are all homosexuals this dumb? The only reason you can't grasp the concept of a containment board is because you are not one of us. Moot made containment boards starting years and years ago when he didn't want guro and loli posted on the anime board. You seem to know all about Jow Forums enough to know what's in our hearts (gay fantasies, according to you), so surely you knew that??
You're an idiot.
>Thinks we have THREE whole boards of gayness and women hatred all as containment boards
>Thinks Jow Forums and /b/ aren't the containment boards
One of these days, half the boards will be /lgbt/ and you're still going to think they are for containment.
He's trying so hard.
>Containment Board
"As stated earlier, Jow Forums is meant to contain the population of stormweenies (named for Stormfront, a now-defunct white nationalist website that can be considered a precursor to Jow Forums, and whose community still overlaps with them) on Jow Forums; pretty much everyone, including both Moot and most of Jow Forums itself, has acknowledged this. Global rule #3 was once 'Keep Jow Forums in Jow Forums'; the rule has since been changed to a more general version saying not to post flames, racism, off-topic replies, uncalled-for catch phrases and other things that are unhelpful to a board, but since that's what Jow Forums shitposting essentially IS, the rule is still the same in spirit. Several boards have a sticky at the front page telling people to keep politics in Jow Forums as well.
>Though Jow Forums isn't the only containment board on Jow Forums
the other containment boards such as /mlp/ and /soc/ are considered to have better userbases"
They say containment but honestly it's a safe space because only weirdos go there. Kind of like /po/ or /jp/.
Please, ladies, you're both absolutely fucking insufferable.
Straightboi, if your "ancestors" saw the world as it is now, they'd fucking beg you to abstain from bringing progeny into this shit hole existence.
Fagboi, don't get assblasted because someone doesn't like you being a flaming fucking twink. You're allowed to be a massive faggot but don't be such a massive faggot about it.
lmao fuck you, they've got good memes and it's one of the only boards that's worth browsing anymore. even if you don't agree with them on everything (being half mexican and half jewish, i'm bound to have some differing opinions) you can't deny that the board is fun as fuck.
those raffles are the real deal, my guy. got a sweet american flag grip heritage revolver for 15 bucks (the price of three tickets)
I'm a married religious fundamentalist who thinks Catholics are too Satanic.
InsecureInDeCloset Jow Forumsack needs to fuck off still.
Hope y'all are clowning around and aren't a gaggle of summerfags
I need to clean up this story and tell it properly one of these days.
puss is puss, as long as you don't catch anything (which desu you're just as likely with a 10/10 as with a 4/10). good to keep in practice, i find. plus you can use them to practice all the weird shit that might scare away others if you can't do it right. and plus some of them are really sweet and will bake you some bomb ass food. probably would've stayed with my first 5/10 gf for the rest of my life if she hadn't've found tumblr two years into our relationship and become radicalized lmao
do your parents know you're bi?
fucking hell man i almost got me a range trap gf but she lives far af away and is unstable af ;-;, good luck and god bless
why the hell do people lie out of their teeth like this? i used to do it when i was like 12, but why do full grown adults do it?
Plenty of soldiers tell lies, there is one reportively about three people telling each other about the special "Three round burst M1911"
I warned you
i'm calling you a fucking faggot cause i'm jelly as all fuck. lucky bastard
tf is a garbage rod
he posted the moral at the end wtf?
i guess it's hard to wrap my head around the psychology. when i told that shit at 12 it was like "oh i'll be cool they'll think i'm cool cause i'm telling cool stories and they look like they're listening oh god is this what attention feels like", but to not have grown out of it by your 20's, especially if you're otherwise a decently functioning adult, is mind boggling.
less mentally ill than dealing with modern women
fuck man aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How do you not know what a garbage rod is?
We also have the internet now. We've had Google and Snopes for over 20 years.
he gets it
The gun community is literally more drama then a high school girl's bathroom.
I would rather be called a faggot rather than a Nigger.
That's probably because I'm black though.
>Life is good sometimes, anons!
Not if you're a faggot. Luckily for you, you can prevent the risk of getting HIV by shooting yourself in the head, it works!
Nigger
>range trap
>gf
Pick one and only one, faggot.
>google
>snopes
>Thinking these are valid sources of informtion
What?
>Thinks that 2019 and 2000 are the same year
>Uses Bing to look things up
>Thinks snakes live in ball pits
Which one would you rather lurk in?
Kek, cope.
Niggerfaggot
>buying guns in a store and not online for dank no sales tax and no markup
>buying ammo in a store and not online for dank no sales tax and no markup
>Be me
>Watching a train go by after being arrested
>My mom said to practice the 4 rules, but I didn't and shot a man in Reno
>Just to watch him die
So are we posting stories about dating now?
>a few weeks ago, getting drunk at a bar
>7/10 girl starts talking to me
>tell her I'm celibate and our conversation is going nowhere
>she takes it as a challenge, ends up riding home with me and my roommate
>in the back making out like absolute savages
>get to my place, she starts stripping down in my room
>10/10 rack
>fondle some boobs, then roll over and pass out
>next morning
>I wake up and girl gets up when I try to slip out of bed
>half asleep, she says "I guess you weren't joking about being celibate."
>"yeah"
>girl looks around the room, realizing it's full of storage boxes, ammo cans, and random guns
>"what's with all the guns?"
>"they protect my virginity."
>we both laugh and head to the corner store to buy beer and chase away our hangovers
Overall a good time. Celibacy has its perks, in that you can basically be as cringey as you want and people still think you're desirable to be around. On the other hand, you're celibate and own all the loneliness it entails.
It's an affectionately dismissive term for a boltyboi in 6.5 Lurkmoor
faggot
My state has internet sales tax now, it fucking sucks.
Based fudge packer
>they’ve got good memes
Is celibate like being gay? Anyway, cool fake story, user.
Nigger
I haven't posted a "story" on the chans before, but this event really irked me so I guess I'll vent it here.
>had a day off work yesterday decided to take things lazilly
>put on shorts and jacket and went to the store to get some groceries- lemonade, salami, cheese, ham and milk
>forget to bring a bag, so strapped it all onto the back of my bike at once and rode home
>as I'm going up a hill the milk falls off (2L bottle)
>my bike's stand is broken so I have to put it against the wall
>some woman in a headscarf (either a gypsy or muslim, I can't tell) reaches for my milk to be a good samaritan and give it to me
>I take the milk from her quickly, and make brief eye contact to say "thanks"
>mfw her nose has half fallen off- it's flat and white, and looks like some so stone rich in calcite which had been rubbed heavily by more stone
>I look back at her outstretched hand- it's covered in boils
>her whole skin has these boils, and white marks like calcite everywhere
>she turns to leave quickly, not responding to my thanks
>I stand there on the pavement for a while, shocked- I notice the milk carton has been punctured and is leaking
>I decide to drink my fill of the milk there, as I can't bring it home
>From the first gulp, it feels like I've been cursed by the milk, but I keep drinking anyway as I'm poor and don't want to waste it
>mfw first meeting with a leper
>mfw they used whatever Abrahaimic morality they have to get me to make eye contact with them and thank them
I could really do with some advice. I don't know if I've been cursed or not.
Seems to be he gets all the issues of a modern chick (and then some) with zero benefits
>you can basically be as cringey as you want and people still think you're desirable to be around
Wrong. You provide no competition so other males do not see you as a threat and females see you as a potential gay best friend. Trust me, you are underestimating how embarrassing your behavior is to others
You’re so poor that you’re literally crying over a 1.50 bottle of spilt milk?
>Is celibate like being gay?
Basically, but without getting a dick in my ass. As for the story being fake, imagine what sort of weird shit would drive a man to celibacy, then imagine what the madman's bedroom would look like if he had absolutely no intentions of ever impressing a woman and went full utilitarian layout.
The girl gets props, because she wanted to hang out again, but most people would think it looks like a place people go to get murdered.
I got to play with some nice tits, and could have gone further. I have three different girls ready to pounce if I ever decide to jump back into the relationship game.
I currently enjoy my seclusion and live exclusively to my own standards. If someone thinks that's embarrassing, more power to them. I'm not throwing myself out there as some shoulder to cry on and expecting women to respect me for being a doormat. I'm essentially the same loser-asshole I was when I was getting laid, but now I'm not worried about saying the wrong thing to women. It works for me, and I hope whatever you're searching out works for you, bro.
We have a different class of stupidity among the teachers here, Madison is a cancer
Social leeches are the worst.
Not kine still pretty Jow Forums
>be me
>go to range
>pay fee
>shoot
>go home
>one of the only boards worth browsing anymore
Its a dumpster fire being fueled by the political equivalent of diarrhea laced piss. How anyone thinks that board is worth browsing outside of watching the absolute shitshow that is Jow Forums unfold is beyond me. Its nothing but shoddy half truths based on shakey evidence, paid shills, morons of the highest calibre, stormfags and antifags having shitfights, and recycled memes from reddit and twitter. I'd be totally fine with it if it was contained, but its not. All of this is coming from someone that browses Jow Forums too, so you can fuck off with calling me a shill or whatever.
Well, did YOU stand up and say anything?
I got semi-raped in the woods by another kommado but it was raped turned into sorta ok sex so i let it happen, i still like women though.
>half truths
And thus the seed has already begun to sprout. Don't forget you're here forever
It does in Left 4 Dead 2, I guarantee that's what he's basing his fantasy on.
Sigh man I've been there, fucked way more than my share of fatties. But let me tell you once you up your standards and actually get a halfway sane, average sized to actually healthy looking girl, you won't want to go back.
Well, maybe once in a while because of fatties tits and asses, but those are one off things. The idea of being in a relationship with and living with a fattie will absolutely repulse you.
This is the gayest shit ive ever read. And it has nothing to do with the fact you fucked a guy
This is so fucking wierd wtf