Knock knock you’re Mrs. Shepherd

Spay and Neuter.

It's a book about literal sheepdawgs for the chillunz

Crossbreed horrible mutant children with

Don't open the door. It's no one I know or want to know if they haven't tried to reach me before coming over. Inspect guns.

>and now for my meme answer
dump handgun through door one-handed while yelling something about castle law

Mrs. Shepherd is beautiful.

Take my dog pants off and lick my hairy asshole.

>SELL HER COOKIES AT 8PM

knot

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The rope awaits you degenerates.

Time to bust out the TI-89

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TRAIN...
...TO NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR ALPHABET PEOPLE

where do you think you are?

I bet it's just Chris Kyle coming over for some of that sweel MILF tail

Nut.

she grabs the strap incase Kyle had too much Mountain Dew

Are you going to deny her beauty and cuteness? Imagine snuggling up with her on cold night. Her petite lithe form held close.

The soft touch of fluff as she flicks an ear in your face

You're the worst kind of fag.

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She pulls closer and grinds against you when you gently scratch the base of her tail. Her breathing quickens.

Unbelievable

A weapons board.not lgbtq

A soft muffled whine as she squirms in your embrace, fluffy thighs rubbing eagerly. You feel the rhythmic thump of her heartbeat through your probing fingertips.

PROTECT

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shoot my load in

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have meaningful and consensual furry sex with

>invite waifur home
>she sees everything chambered in 9mm
>proceeds to laugh

What do

Marry, have children, and defend the honor of

Top tier, user. Is chambered for 40 S&W?

Can't recover from that. If I'm lucky, she'll stop laughing long enough to let me escape with my dignity and buy a 45, like a real man.

Otherwise, I may just have to kill myself.

Try and convince her with velocity charts.

I wanna lowkey rail Mrs. Shepherd

>imagine over powering her and taking her for yourself then beating her to a pulp
>imagine taunting her with her own gun after you finish up
>"too bad you couldnt get huh?"
>imagine whispering in her ear you are gonna do the same to her kid
>imagine her tears and begging
>imagine blowing her brains out and then having to wipe the blood and cum off of yourself
>imagine finding her son hiding in the closet, you still without your pants on
>imagine shooting him next

I fucking hate myself

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I just want a nice wolf wife myself but alright user

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At least you're aware just what a horrible person you are. Realizing you have a problem is the first step to fixing it.

I recommend consuming a nice glass of fucking bleach.

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It is a true problem solver, yes.

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Nice.

Where'd you get the book?

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Gift from the dad, was a great read.

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That's fucking cool.

C-continue?

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No one gives a shit about your story user! Just stop!

We're all about this guy now!

protect and care for

I was asking that other guy to keep going.

It was just getting good.

GIVE TUMMY SCRATCHIES TO

Begone socks.

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Problem solva?

Am I a degenerate for wanting to marry Mrs. Shepherd?

Maybe. Normies won't like it, but normies are by no means a good way to judge degeneracy.

That sounds comfy as fuck.

You know it.

>someones at the door
>better arm myself
Holy autism

Might be a pitbull, obviously Mrs. Shepherd knows what's up

>someones at the door
>we're not expecting guests
>at night
>in the middle of a neighborhood
>when I(a physically weaker) woman am home alone with my useless in an emergency child
>not arming yourself to be prepared for a boot kicking it in as soon as you crack the door to tell them to scram.
>not taking steps to prevent furry butt rape upon your person.
Never gonna make it. I always answer the door with suspicion of ill intent from the the people at my door, and I'm a guy. Especially in the evening and night, a knock on the door is answered with a smile and a 12 gauge hidden away from where they can see it. Being a victim is for people who aren't prepared.

Fucking this.

People are capable of all sorts of evil. It's better to assume the worst and be pleasantly surprised.

Made me chuckle
Cant tell if you're a paranoid schizophrenic or just reaching too hard

>not peeping through peephole before reaching for the strap
Do you hate your neighbors? Mind have come over after dark several times just to give me stuff. Try being friendly.

>middle of the neighborhood
Oh god, not the middle of the suburbs. How ever will she survive? She must have nerves of steel, living amongst middle class families.
Why do you say that like it's a bad or dangerous thing? Stop living in shitholes. Maybe you'll feel a little more reassured when the girl scouts come.

Not him, but that may be part of the difference. I'm not super social. My neighbors mostly leave me the fuck alone, so I don't get people at the door often.

I have a major fucking problem, I drink bleach and gasolina like shots of whiskey my body probably has built a tolerance to it
N-no! Don't tempt me further! I already thought of this story too much.

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underrated

Anyone got a PDF of this thing?

>Do you hate your neighbors?
I don't know my fucking neighbors, I've had one person knock on my door in a month and it was a guy looking for some gardening shears he lost

>only interaction with neighbor asking if you've seen his misplaced property by chance
>holy shit my neighbors are OUT to get ME

Sounds like you're the one Mrs. Shepherd would be worried about; the antisocial standoff-ish neighbor, known to point a gun at whoever stops by and assuming the worst

>Intentionally mischaracterizing the situation

I get one unexpected knock on my door in a MONTH, everyone I know calls before dropping by.
If someone knocks at 8pm and I don't expect them it's definitely not a normal thing and you bet I'm answering with a gun

>tells story about his only interaction with the neighborhood is a dude asking a question about lost fucking garden shears
>as rationale as to why he answers the door armed
>point out this is irrational at best
>y-you're putting words in my mouth
Sure thing pal

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You gonna post the rest of the book buddy?

The fact that you not only see this as justification for your jaded paranoia instead of a reason to maybe drop your guard even a tiny bit only supports how ridiculous this is.
The fact you defend an innocent question - from someone who's probably lived in the neighborhood longer than you - as a rational reason to fear for your life when a unexpected visitor arrives, is as sad as it is ludicrous.

What the fuck where is my Mrs Shepard fanfic

>Mrs. Shepherd
>handgun

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Why do we have to do all the dirty work just because (Mrs.) Shephards team didn't make it?

I live in a black neighborhood and all my friends are 20+ minutes away.
I'm happy that you see fit to just open your door for anyone who knocks on it but I'm not that trusting.

You are literally arguing from the "why do you CC a gun?! Are you some kinda parinoid schizophrenic?!" Position right now

>Tfw no border collie waifur

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>he doesnt introduce his family to the new neighborhood when they move
Are you even white?

Again, stop living in shitholes and maybe you'll get a little reassurance.
You can live your life in fear if you want, no skin off my back. I'm saying it doesnt have to be that way.

I am, my neighbors aren't

"lol why don't you just live somewhere else? Like, why don't poor people just buy more money so stupid seriously"

>Lol, just live in a more expensive area, why are you so parinoid LOL

Dude, fuck you.

You make it sound like striving to earn more money and improve your situation is unheard of.
>no no see my paranoia is directly linked to income rates

>no no see my paranoia is directly linked to income rates
No but niggers are

>You make it sound like striving to earn more money and improve your situation is unheard of.
I'm in a low income area because I'm in college you fucking faggot.

>Lol just trust niggers at 8pm knocking for no reason it's totally cool
You're a fucking registered Democrat aren't you.

my sides are orbital fucking top kek

>applying yourself to make more money is not only rare, but a bad thing

right here:

>be user
>friend of mr shepard
>visit their home
>mrs shepard answers the door
>tells me mr shepard is on deployment
>dis gon be da night
>tell her I just want to talk
>she's washing the dishes
>make small talk, notice her purse on the table 10 feet away with her shitty pink ruger sticking out
>lehomicidehasarrived.doge
>walk up behind her and put my arms around her, kiss her neck
>she gets squeamish and says something to the affect of "user, wtf is wrong with you?!"
>grab her by her hair and slam her head several times
>dick is harder than the granite counter that I'm hitting her against
>tear off my belt
>she's crying and begging for me to stop
>turn dat fortune cookie into an inverted canoli
>continue to beat the absolute living fuck out of her
>waddle over to her purse and grab her pistol, dangle it in front of her know bloodied snout
>"bet ya wish you had dis earlier, huh? Cant wait to have my turn with your boy"
>she yelps and pleads with me not to hurt him
>give her a kiss and slap her ass, proceed to magdump in her skull
>slide off my garfield tighty whities for maximum operator speed.
>wipe off blood and cum and walk into the living room wearing nothing but a smile and my wrinkled polo
>her kid is in the closet crying
>"no need to stay in the closet and cry, son. Trust me lifes better when you step out"
>"d-daddy's a marine, h-he's gonna stop you"
>laugh and try to bludgeon him with the pistol
>not working cuz its plastishit
>see grandpa shepard's Garand hanging on the wall
>grab it by the barrel and turn his head into pizza sauce
>skip like the queer I am into the kitchen
>turn on all the burners on the stove and blow em out
>shove a copy of the bill of rights the mrs had in her purse into the toaster along with my garfield undies
>put trousers back on like big boy and walk out of the house
>as I drive down the road see the house go boom
>mfw
imagine if the neocon boomer who wrote that book saw this lmao, I hate myself

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Crucify all other furries in repentance for the sin of being one.

You ain't my nigga, user.

Jesus Christ what the fuck

Not bad

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