Jow Forums Fantasy General

Forces of the unknown have caused our world to merge/combine with a typical (or not-so-typical) fantasy world. Old world governments have managed to hold on to major urban and suburban areas, but rural areas range from fragile peace to complete chaos. People and towns from either side suddenly find themselves in a new realm, and portals going between both worlds are scattered through out the lands.

>writefags
Send a message to [email protected] if you want to have your story archived in the pastebin

>Threadly Question:
Best music to slay orcs/elves/dwarves/goblins/skinwalkers/etc to?

>inb4 "No Fun Allowed"
-You don't have to browse this thread
-Whining about the thread won't stop the people posting shit on it from posting shit

The fucking sticky: pastebin.com/s8cvej28

Attached: YALLWANTSOMEFUCK.jpg (600x1061, 139K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=f3dpAVxA2EA
pastebin.com/7yrKL6dj
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

youtube.com/watch?v=f3dpAVxA2EA

If it's anything besides AC/DC you're wrong. You have to fill those Monster cans with tannerite and convince fantasy niggers they just have to be heated.

Going on another mini-hiatus. Lack of creativity, and I'm currently in New York Shitty.

>January 29, 1968
>11:27 PM
>Hue City, Hue province, Vietnam
>Be me
>Specialist Moses Browning
>no relation to THE Browning but i wish
>grew up in Springdale, Utah
>can't do math... or really spell good
>that's how i ended up here
>got shipped to Fort Benning three days after i graduated high school
>that was a year ago
>now i'm stuck neck deep in filthy whores and the occasional firefight
>my M16 has yet to let me down though
>not sure why the boys complain about em so damn much
>i clean mine every night just incase
>my Pa would be proud, the old man taught me well
>he was in the big WW2.. and Korea
>sitting on the roof of the largest building in town
>hotel
>it had a name once, but one of the bombing runs must have taken it out
>i can see the whole city from here
>the rest of my Platoon is also up here
>standing over barrel fires and whatever they could make
>the smell of cooking meat and the sounds of partying are starting to drift toward me, war is hell... and ive had to do some bad things while i was here but i do enjoy my time
>go over to join them
>rest of the night is spent dodging the loose hookers and eating rather suspicious pieces of meat
>i have a hammock set up on the roof
>its cal mate at night
>the sound of distant planes lulls me to sleep
>one closer plane though keeps me awake
>C-47 Spooky
>whatthefuckareyoudoinghere.png
>i start to see it before i hear it
>the world erupting into light
>rockets streaking through the streets
>people running
>i see the red stream of death kiss the ground and i swear i can see the silhouettes and rice hats from here
>my hand wraps around the handguard of my m16 as a rocket streaks out and slams the side of the hotel
>Time: 2:38 AM
>Date: January 30, 1968
>The Tet offensive begins

>run into battle while screaming JoJo openings

>Feel the building shake again as i start almost sprinting down the stairs
>hear screams of pain
>see medics on each floor
>stop at the last flight and look behind the stairs
>grab my bag and kick Joshua in the ribs
>josh and i went through basic at the same time
>he is a Black rifleman
>he wakes up in a flash and his M14 is already in his hands
>"wha-WHAT the fuck is happening"
>i don't say a word and just pick him up by his flack as the building shakes again
>"jus Move, now GIT"
>rip the bayonet out of its Frog and click it into place
>slam a fresh mag into her and make sure that Josh is doing the same
>point to the alley across the street and josh nods before breaking out the front of the hotel like a bat out of hell
>push myself into the doorframe looking for more rice hats
>provide overwatch
>as he gets halfway across the street i see a pair of black pajamas and a rice hat run into the middle of the street
>"too easy"
>i let out my breath and let out two rounds in semi auto in quick succession
>watch the red tracer zip through the gook
>josh makes it across to the alley
>my turn
>take a deep breath and back away five steps
>adjust the sling on my M16
>start running
>arms pumping
>heart racing
>i see a tracer zip in front of my head
>see another impact at my feet
>dont stop
>watch Josh let out a burst Full Auto on his m14
>he pulls back
>dive for the alley

>manage to slide the distance to get my entire body into the alley as a burst of rounds strike where i was just before
>scramble to my feet grabbing hold of my rifle and start hoofing it down the alley and towards the market square
>had been repurposed as a FOB and vehicle storage
>hear ching chong noises up ahead as the alley turns into a street
>me and josh stop running as we see a group of four Gooks round the corner with AKs and one with what looks like a PKM of sorts
>there's a moment of shock as we stare each other down
>i am faster
>flip the selector all the way to auto
>don't bother to aim
>just fire to the hip as i take steps to the right
>drop 3 of the 4 of them
>red tracer lighting up the wall behind them
>one gook is left
>he got clipped by Josh
>there's a burst of AK fire from him before i can get off another round
>misses mee by inches
>put three rounds in his chest and slide down the wall
>i think i shit my pants
>"Hey.. josh... am i leaking brown or red?"
>"Josh?"
>silence
>my laughing dies out
>look over my shoulder
>josh is down
>"Oh fuck"

Guys, I fucked a dryad prostitute and now I have crabs but they're glowing blue and green. What do?
>42317123
Slayer

Shoot them. Ya know, with a gun? Worst case scenario they have a spell of hardness and the bullets bounce off, best case scenario no more crabs. Don't miss.

Attached: HAHH.png (720x746, 582K)

yer fucked mate, your now Crab man

shook him so bad he just fucking breaks and runs off to like join a leper colony or something

>pull myself over to him
>he's gripping and letting out a croaking heaving sound
>sucking chest wound
>"fuck buddy... you look like shit"
>he cracks a smile and i see red highlight the pearly white teeth in his mouth
>"come on now brother... were close were gonna get you outta here..."
>sling up his rifle to my bag
>grab my M16
>look at him for a moment
>thinkthinkthink.medicaltraining
>i pull him up and he lets out a pained scream
>wrap his arm over my shoulder
>grab him by his belt
>holding the buttstock of my rifle under my armpit
>god i don't want to die here smelling like nigger sweat
>we start shuffling down teh side street as fast as we can
>decide to cut through a small house complex
>can hear combat now
>heavy weapons firing
>sounds of helicopters
>and the sound of the sky tearing open from the C-47
>we break into teh street behind the market
>steet looks clear
>hear josh grunt something
>there's a kid between me and the gate
>i yell at him
>he does nothing
>keep moving
>hes following me
>getting closer
>feel josh push away from me
>the kid pulls a string on his chest
>my eyes grow wide as i see josh tackle him
>the world turns into a bright white light
>i feel pain
>the last outlines i saw was josh being turned to confetti
>the world goes black
>im blind...
>i feel the hate
>the rage build in me
>it seems the longer the darkness continues the angrier i get
>the sounds of battle fade and are replaced by ominous chanting
>it feels as if i'm being pulled away
>i can feel ghostly hands on me
>i try to fight but the smells of gore and battle fade and are replaced with sweet incense and more
>the heat of the jungle envelopes me as i am pulled into what feels like a forced sleep
>i'm unsure i will wake up from this.... but the longer it persist the more my rage grows
>it grows... it hungers

>immediately runs off to the gym to work out his confused feelings
>some five foot nothing elf girl with half an ear won a staring contest with him
>he later runs into her again and they share a respectful and knowing nod

>Loreli punches me in the arm
>”We should check at the bar, maybe the keep saw him.”
>well
>you wouldn’t forget seeing Reginald
>a robot with a liking for fashionable clothes and a flair for the dramatic
>”You just want some booze.”
>she stutters, her fake accent breaking for a moment
>”N-no. I just think it’s a good place to start.”
>as we approach the bar, I see a sign on the wall near the rack of booze
>it’s one of those “No X” signs, but with a drawing of a skeleton in it
>there’s another with some anthropomorphic cat in it too
>I won’t even ask
>I can guess
>”user let me try something I saw in the movies.”
>are you serious
>”Go on.”
>she takes a deep breath, and clears her throat
>she tilts her hat and struts up to the bar, bending forward and leaning on it
>I wanna see that again
>for um
>science?
>she flicks her hat and addresses the barkeep, who I now see is an old harpy
>”Howdy.”
>fucking howdy
>Ding bursts into laughter on my shoulder, hugging some casing she dug out of my pocket

Alright, I got three of them that went out looking for me. I think im a fair distance away from the initial ambush. I used five rounds to take them out. I have no clue where exactly I am in the forest, does anyone know how to navigate in this situation, or even better, is in the blood moss forest and can lend a hand?

>blood moss forest
That place sounds cursed as fuck, where is it? Describe the terrain.

If the plants are red, cover yourself in goblin blood for camo purposes and to hide your scent, Goblins can hunt entirely by scent.

Its not as cursed as it sounds, its just called that because of the massive growth of the blood moss, and minus the moss its just like the ozarks in the US.
From what ive heard via locals, the moss acts like normal moss until a living creature stops for a certain amount of time while touching it, then the moss will grow into the pores of the creature and make it into another part of the moss structure. The moss starts out in a small area like pic related, and then gets more and more creature "sculptures" in it.
That being said, im not camouflaging myself in the stuff. And for where it is, if you take the portal near lebanon, MO, head northward for about fourteen miles until you hit the elven village of Eethnas, from there you can get directions via a local.

Attached: bloodmoss.jpg (1280x853, 653K)

That moss is metal as fuck.

Well Goblins can still smell you, and the sense of smell sharpens in the dark. I hope you have a lot of piss.

already soaked my clothes to get the bugs away

Good man. That’ll keep gobbos out of your wallet and butthole.

Hey mods. Quick question.

Why does this gay shit get a general while discussions on gun rights and acquiring firearms in various states/countries, gun control, and ATF threads get moved or deleted?

Asking for a friend.

>days..
>weeks
>pass in a black blur
>i feel the pains of starvation begin to mix with the hatred
>my existence becomes hatred
>my skin feels as if its being stripped and ripped
>im restrained
>i feel my blood drain and it only grows my rage
>i can feel the cold blackness stain my dark heart
>and then i broke
>my mind slipped away
>in a haze of sweet smells i found myself at the foot of a god
>a pillar of light without features or shape
>a hand reached out to me
>and i swear i heard a voice
>a moment of intense pain ripped me away as i registered the words it had told me
>"Fight Like Hell"
>i was brought out of the darkness
>the world was now stone and candles
>i was surrounded
>all around me
>small yellow men
>rice hats
>they are... chanting
>some are bowing before... the altar im on
>a shriveled up
>tiny yellow man is standing over me
>"HE IS ARISEN BROTHERS Deimos, the god of harvest and peace"
>I look at my arms
>and my body
>fresh tattoos
>deep red
>black
>gold
>i can feel the rage burning
>i've been turned into some gook Idol

>"Brothers and sisters, after many years we've successfully summoned our savior... the man who will lead us to prosperity"
>prosperity
>i can feel it all start to go fuzzy
>the red is flooding my vision
>the voice
>soft
>enticing me
>"you are deimos... but you are no god... you are vengeance, you are war...."
>my vision closed to small pinpricks now
>hyper focused on the small man above me
>and in a movement all to fast and in an action that would have brought a smile to my drill sergeants face
>i grabbed the top of the short fuckers head
>feeling my fingers go into what might have been his nose
>pulled back with all my might
>and brought up my knee in a strike to the center of his back
>i felt the shattering of bone as the man started to scream in horror at the fact he could not feel his lower body
>i didn't know it but i was smiling ear to ear
>raising my boot
>i ended the small fucks life by splattering his small yellow head on the edge of the altar

Attached: SPOILER_Rice_Elf.png (400x225, 37K)

Because this ISNT the politics board. Read the fucking Jow Forums sticky that states that Jow Forums isn’t for political discussion and shit. Fuck off and learn more new fag.

Attached: 3ABB761D-8173-4CA2-95DA-E0EE183788DE.jpg (509x903, 123K)

>inb4 “WELL THIS IS NOT WEAPONS RELATED”
If you read anything that went on in this thread before posting your complaints you would see this is all very Jow Forums oriented.

>he actually posted the image
i don't know if i should be proud or ashamed so im gonna go with both

Gonna go check out the giant tribes, see if I can't do a little proselytizing and charity work over there with the rest of my church. Anything I should know about them before we head over there though?

Attached: 1565378136049.jpg (2452x1920, 1.31M)

Postin as 'Freak Remover', continuing from last thread having dryad tiddies
Also colorized wolf rider for you fucks

> Rest for a week, sight in new AS VAL and optic, remove stitches and just keep a bandage on it
> Huh, healing well
> Be cleaning the MAC-11 when I hear trucks rumbling up the dirt road
> Slap receiver back in and prepare for weirdness and I run out with MAC
> See old user talking with some tall fucker in old army greens with captains bars on his shoulder
> See people unloading one of the two trucks and setting up large tents
> So this is that Merc group
> 'So this is user? Hes got good instincts old user'
> Points at MAC n cheese
> 'I like people who don't waste shit other than baddies'
> Wonder for a sec what old user has been telling this guy
> 'Well, user, if your ridin with us you better grab your shit, we'll be rolling out tomorrow'
> Spend time making sure my gear is squared away, grab a small duffle and backpack full of innawoods gear
> Was about to stuff every possible space in bags when I realize I can throw the whole crate in the truck
> Get done in time to help setup last tent, get walked over to the other truck
> The back has been converted into some kind of mobile command post
> Talk with Captain about what the fuck he actually wants me to do
> Apparently these guys are helping to keep the weirdness to minimum on our side of the rifts, in exchange for pretty much whatever is reasonable to ask for
> Supplies, Booze, Medical treatment, even fucking silver/gold as cash is becoming worthless in these parts
> Wants me to help keep a FOB they setup near an unstable rift that greenskins love to come through
> Spot, Shoot, and Report any group too big for me to handle
> Says he'll assign me Junior to be my spotter
> Who the fuck is Junior

Attached: radridercolor.png (800x900, 235K)

Ive been wandering aimlessly through the woods for a few hours now. Found two more goblins, and I believe that I saw them before they noticed me. Put a 7.62 in the back of ones head, then put two in his friends chest when he turned around. If anyone is in the area, help is required, the satellite that Jow Forums put up only works with posting to here because of their firewall security measures to keep lesser races from their anime hard drives or some shit.

> Junior seems to just appear out of nowhere
> See a guy with AR-15 with what looks like a homemade suppressor and CZ-75B, plate carrier, and looks 15
> Get told to watch over him as he's Captains kid
> Ididntaskforthis.jpeg
> After a a short discussion of positions I'll be setting up in, go and walk to campfire these guys have set up
> Drinking some whiskey a guy had stashed, learn of nearby greenskins activity
> Such as
> Crashing a stolen truck through multiple storefronts and raiding/raping everything in sight before getting shot
> Goblins doing goblin things
> A fucking troll the team encountered that had shot at them with a M240
> Well now I got reasons
> Besides MY FUKKIN TRUCK
> Also get informed no one is to give Junior special treatment, and to kick his ass should he not follow orders
> Captain wants him 'trained up' it seems
> Alrighty then
> Pass out in barn before getting woke up by old user and see them already packing up
> Start the miserable drive in the deuce and a half to the FOB
> Junior is sitting next to me, clutching AR in deathgrip
> 'You okay Junior?'
> 'Yeah user, seen some greenie action before, just always nervous'
> 'You make that suppressor?'
> Get into Jow Forumsonversation until we get to FOB
> Cool kid, actually 17, and wanted to stop the greenies from fucking with anybody
> Watch towers, Sandbags and a trench surrounded the complex right out of vietnam make the FOB
> Go to command tent, get ordered to head out immediately
> Grab Junior and check map
> Begin marching to a hilltop near some creeks and ponds for good viewing

> Be marching with Junior in tow when I hear noise
> See a small group goblins near where I want to camp
> Give handsign to drop and knifehand toward gobbos
> Junior complies like he's been doing this for years
> Might have
> Sight in gobbos who are beating some doe with shovels and spears
> Hmm...only six
> Check area around me, clear
> Fuck it, time to earn my pay
> Shoot a gobbo who is fucking the dead deer
> myeyes.png
> Others don't even notice until I shoot the one bashing the deer with a shovel
> Head explodes
> Stupid assholes scatter as Junior lets loose with AR, nailing two as I shoot one running toward us
> Last one is hiding behind tree
> See him peek around tree and a branch is covering face
> Shoot the branch and see goblin tumble backwards into creek
> Admire russian engineering
> About to stand up when I see two orcs with pump actions stop and spot the dead
> See one kick a body and send it into the creek and mutter in greenskins
> Fine
> Tap Junior who crawled up next to me and whisper for him to target left, fire when I do
> See them both drop as I put three into my orc and hear multiple bursts from Junior
> Where did these fucks come from-
> Look across pond and see campfire light in the dimming light
> Junior has some small binos out is eyeballing the area
> Passes em to me and busts out radio to call it in
> Tarps and animal skins are all I can spot besides the occasional gobbo wandering around
> Get pulled out of the trance when I hear 'mortar' on the radio
> lolwhut
> 'Uh, sir? I reported the encounter and camp, and they want us scout the camp to mortar the place'
> Artillary support?
> Fuck yes

the less educated giants have a bad tendency to splater human for the laughs so...
i don't know what else to say, good luck bro

> Start being sneaky in the failing light with Junior in tow
> We've been giving the camp a wide birth, glancing at it through optics and Junior's binos
> it's a camp of about 100 of various greenskins, waaaay too much to plink off
> they mostly stick to the bonfire in the middle and mull around, gnawing on various animal meat and drinking
> Be laying in the mud and Junior radioing in the coordinates when I hear something like a deer running
> Roll to back
> See wolf riders closing in, bounding through the trees toward us
> Not these niggers again
> AS VAL goes to full and I start dumping heavy lead at the closest one
> Goes down and see Junior go to kneeling and start shooting in 3 round bursts
> 'Junior! Tell me you finished radioing in those mortars!'
> 'Yes sir! Should be coming in now!'
> Reload and start on another as one running past sprays with an automatic glock
> Feel a round smack the front plate
> Reply by shooting the riding wolf
> See them start circling our position and taking pot shots at us
> I'm terrified, but it'd be worse if they could aim
> Hear the telltale whistle of a mortar
> 'GET DOWN'
> Yank Junior down and glance at camp to see a bigass explosion in the midst of the camp, followed by more as they scramble around
> A shotgun blast hit the tree above my head and I shoot another rider
> apparently wolf riders have spines
> Hear Junior screaming 'THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR MY SISTER' and shooting at them
> Look back and see the few remaining ride into the trees as Junior keeps up fire, empty mags strewn about
> Glance at camp through optics and see a few stumbling around or shooting at the trees in a daze
> Flip to semi and shoot, bullets seemed to ignore branches and debris
> Reload, continue
> Truck, you have been avenged
> Get up and glance at Junior
> The kid is breathing hard, suppressor is steaming
> 'Grab those mags kid, we gotta go'

Any recommendations for getting off on a good foot with them? Or barring that, a weapon that'll be effective against them?

Attached: 1556749909766.gif (500x363, 1019K)

stealth, but i would carry a 20mm if i were you, just in case

>crouch walking with ntw-20 strapped to my back to stealthily pass by some giants
>somehow get spotted
>start running away
>clunk clink clink clunk thud
>get stepped on by the humongoloids

personaly i think it would sound more like
>CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

Not being a dick and/or commenting on their size, if their friendly. Otherwise prepare to be smooshed.

As for weapons, is a .50 beowulf rifle, if not 12 or 10ga shotgun with hotpacked slugs and a .454 revolver. Makes me wonder if peppering humongoloids with lesser calibers works...

>TFW family of greenskins move in next door
>try to scare them by constantly cleaning my WASR on the porch
>work up a sweat from the summer heat
>notice their daughter eyeing me up
>she goes inside
>comes back out with an axe
>she's barely wearing anything like most Orcs
>can see muscular thighs and abs
>starts to polish the edge of the blade up and down
>she leans over
>get good look at green tits
>she catches me looking and winks at me
>TFW accidentally courted an Orc
What caliber do you guys recommend for dealing with very angry Orc fathers?

Attached: ishouldgo.png (338x400, 216K)

SONO CHI NO SADAAMEEEEEEEE

> Start moving with a quickness in direction of FOB
> Have Junior radio in our return, and that camp has been blown into oblivion
> Get told we're to meet up with the mortar team and gives us directions
> See them after an hour of wandering
> Its a bunch of rednecks with a army tent and tubes setup with crates of mortars
> One stands up holding a bottle of liquor and runs to meet us
> 'Hey, those mortars work alright?'
> wonder why he'd as that until I do a double-take on the tubes
> Its fucking rusty steel pipes and welded together shells, looking ready to explode in the tubes
> Praise the gods we weren't hit
> 'They hit the camp, so I can't complain'
> 'Yeah, they blow shit up good, but sometimes they fly bad and don't blow up when they hit tha ground...'
> Reaches into an unbuttoned flak jacket and puts on cap with a lieutenants bar on it
> 'Ahm in charge here, so whateva you need, go through me' he says and offers the bottle
> walk into minicamp and take a shot of whatever he's holding
> tastes like rubbing alcohol smells
> 'So why are we here, sir?'
> 'Nuffa that sir shit, we got shit ta do'
> 'We had problems with orcs on stolen trucks ridin 'round trying ta get at the FOB and us, and we got the bright idea to put together a minefield'
> Goes to a crate and pulls a map out on the lid
> Starts talking about how the camp is moving tomorrow, and a machine gun team and his 'demo' men are setting up mines in more open areas
> Has weird spring loaded 12ga mines for gobbos to fill in gaps
> We're gonna support the demo men and machine gun teams by shooting wanderers, and we have to hold the area until it's set up
> Go to bed holding AS VAL like a teddy bear

"Oh dear."
the old GM Sixes clatter a bit before waking with a roar. The mixed lot of "slipped" guards still jolt at the sound of the old tank waking up, but once sh'e in the shit, they love her.

Got a happy, happy dwarf driving, he's never seen anythig like an old M4A2 Sherman. And this is a goodun. Held back, it's never seen the tender caresses of a Russian's hammer, or a Cubano's boot. Just loved, and set aside til now.

Her 75mm M3 is long gone. Somewhere she picked up a weird 3" rifle, and an auto-loader made "proudly" per the plate by the General Shoe Corporation. So, she can, (in ideal conditions) hit 120 RPM. Which is amazing.

And useless. I mean, it's great if you had to just buttfuck a Tiger 1, but.. you'd use half your ammo just getting really on target. and if there were two or more Kraut tanks you needed to remove from the scenery? Oh fuck..

But. For busting mobs of Orcs, or other baddies? You load her with 3" WP/ILLUM and set "HI". she will fucking melt a mass of mobs.
All while shrugging off all sorts of magical, and nonmagical hits.
While Slip-magic works on some metals, it's useless on Steel. And really GOOD steel causes a sort of backlash/ Like the armor says"Fuck Your Shit" to the caster, and it backlashes on them.
(MTBC)

> Wake up to this wild screech like a cat getting shoved into a blender
> Followed by gunfire
> Jump out of tent cause I slept in my plate carrier
> There are fucking dozens of skeletons running at the camp, and the mortar team still scattered and shooting various shit at them
> AS VAL goes to fun and see one climb a tree and try to jump at me like a deranged squirrel
> Blast it and get covered in bone bits
> Start shooting more into the skeletons running at a redneck who is busy reloading his auto-12 and see Junior putting in work with the CZ
> Keep shooting when I see one Del Toro toward the commander, who is fucking with a jammed AR
> It gets a burst and I start reloading and I get a sudden chill and fear
> Not like skellies weren't enough
> Look through the trees and see a weird mass of darkness, not even the moonlight shining through
> See a guy in dirty black robes come out the woods and shake a bone-staff in our direction
> Fight through the magic bullshit and shoot at him, only to collide with skeletons that jumped in between me and him
> Fucker jumps into the blackness cackling
> See the skeletons slow down and eventually stop, as the remaining Mortar guys keep shooting them
> Camp clear, we regroup
> Two guys are missing, one looks like he got shredded, and most of the remaining have got scratches from the necro-shit
> Junior is shaking but fine
> Radio is not working, its midnight and that necromancer guy could pop back at any moment

Anything north of .30 cal, but I'd recommend a "thumper" caliber just to be safe

Lemme read some encounter a with a wondrous machine in a terrifying land
Maybe manage to get aome kinda dwarven clockwork to run it?
Maybe some AC to keep you from overheating?
Maybe even deflection spells or anti-magic field on the hull?

The other nice thing is, being a 3" rifle, she can use VX fuses. Prox fuses. Airbursts and sad faces for baddies.

And then there is her other assets. Two ANM3 .50's on a buffered Naval mount, right in front of the TC's cupola. For the loader, an open bolt FN AC.30, and some weird hand cranked grenade launcher thing we bought off a guy in Arizona. Said they were used in "nom".

So, even if the main gun is deciding to shit fire or make shoes, we can still lay down some hurt, and be reasonably unscathed.

Plus, "It's a Tank".
Nothing a Slipper has will go through. No Lance, spear, Magic or similar can penetrate her hull. So at the worst, we can just button up, bounce the GM's off their governors and begin lubing our tracks with their guts.

Steel is magic.

Continue from where i left off

>I grabbed the Warlock by his gay ass robe and threw him across the tent, hitting one of the massive supports
>He hit the support with a solid thud
>The orc began chanting a spell
>Too slow mother fucker
>I brought a claw hammering down on his arm, cleaving the appendage off.
>It took a moment for the orc to register what exactly happened
>Cant cast your bullshit spell without your bullshit hand faggot
>The Orc roars and throws himself at me.
>He throws a left
>then another one
>then another one
>then another
>I just hold up my right arm and continue to block his punches
>Finally the orc stumbles and i catch his other arm and rip it clean from his shoulder
>The orc stands there eyeing me
>Tis’ just a flesh wound
>The orc charges me
>Nanithefuck.jpg
>Nigga you aint got no arms
>Brace myself to uppercut this faggot to see baby jesus
>But he stumbles and falls to the floor, dead from blood loss
>I walk over and tap his body with the tip of my foot

>Hear chains rattle and suddenly remember why im here
>Kaylessa is tied to a table, her clothes stripped from her body.
>A series of deep cuts to her wrists and parts of her thighs
>A small bead of blood is forming in the center of her chest
>There are Bowls underneath her serving as collection points
>My blood boils with fury
>They were going to use her as a blood sacrifice
>If there an Orc Blood God, I swear i will make him bleed
>Quickly rip cloth from the tent walls and stop the bleeding from the deeper wounds
>Krom comes running into the tent and looks at Kaylessa
>He mutters an Orcish curse and spits on the ground
>Evi comes into my mind
>”Master, the Elves have Routed the orcs, most are slain, the rest are fleeing into the woods”
>”Yeah thats fucking great, get your ass down here”
>”What is wrong?”
>Send her a mental image of Kaylessa
>”She has lost a lot of blood, is there anything we can do”
>”We dragons are creatures of Destruction and only Destruction”
>fuck
>Kaylessa, opened her eyes and looked at me
>She just smiled before closing them and going limp
>No
>no no no
>no no no no no no no no no

>Krom begins scrambling, Throwing shit around, looking for something
>I feel for her pulse
>Nothing
>FUCK
>I feel myself turn back into my normal human self
>Begin compressions
>1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30
>Breathe, breathe
>1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30
>Breathe, breathe
>Krom grabs my arm and i feel something very sharp and very painful drag its way across my forearm and wrist
>”Krom what the fuck?!”
>”Shut up and give me your Blood! We dont have much time!”
>I notice him holding a small wooden rod with skulls attached to it
>Ding!
>He takes my arms and squeezes blood into the bowls with kaylessas blood, and begins chanting
>Suddenly, one of the Bowls begin glowing a faint orange
>As i am wrapping my arm with some of the cloth, the other bowls begin glowing
>Then, scorching pain is shot through my arm like i was just stung by hundreds of Wasps
>The blood begins flowing from the Bowls, slithering like a snake up the table and coming to a rest on Kaylessa’s wounds
>Kroms chanting grew louder and the pain in my arm only grew more intense
>The blood rose in elevation, then at the apex of kroms chanting, slammed down into kaylessas body with enough force to break the legs of the table
>All was quiet for a moment, Then Kaylessa gasped for air.

This is total shit. I won’t even bother reading the rest of this thread.
My tamagotchi from 1998 could come up with a more captivating story

fucking do it mate

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no is metal dude

Do it, we're always in need of writefags. Bring your tamogatchi, show us what it can write

is alchemy nigga
alchemy covers everything

Gonna write up more VALiant user soonish
Give me your thoughts, anons, so I can improve my writefaggotry

Also did a rough sketch of the Ring-a-Ding artworks for Neumagh user

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That’s pretty damn nice user. Not bad at all.

I woke up from my slumber surprised that I had not being mauled by a wild creature, the ground, now cool to the touch, signaled me that it was my time to move and as fast as I could I gathered my equipment and headed out of the cave I had taken refuge in, I walked out to the shifting of sands below me and looked as the last rays of the sun drooped out of the horizon, letting way for the night.
I was easier for a single human like me to travel through the dessert at night, the cold was easier to battle than the unrelenting heat and the nocturnal creatures they too were easier to handle on my own, they were nightmares themselves, yet they were nothing compared to the titans that played on the sunlight, especially those damned worms, I hope to never encounter them again.
I had to move as much as I could for the dessert spares nothing but mere hours to these advantageous conditions, soon I will need to find shelter to wait the day again, for the fourth time in a row, every inch I can muster out of this trot is valuable, my rations are running low but the next settlement should not be more than two days away, hopefully I will find something edible on my way.

>dessert
god damn it, every time

Very nice, user! Also very green.

> The commander decides with the losses that its not possible to round up all the mortar gear
> He's drinking heavy on that swill he had earlier
> Says he's going to turn them into mines for whoever want to fuck with the camp
> Me and Junior setup nearby
> I'm still rattled from fighting craziness
> got a good look at the clearing from our perch
> Mortar boys are digging holes and burying the explosives with some kind of spring loaded trigger for the actual mines
> Dropping enough explosives in those holes to clear the forest
> Have barrel fires to see by while they work
> Hear Junior's radio crackle
> 'user team, user team, multiple sightings of undead, some have been cursed and loaded with explosives'
> what the flying fuck do they mean by 'cursed'
> Ask Junior
> Junior says the bones of the skellies are filled with black goo that explodes everywhere and instantly rots any flesh or gear it gets on
> Oh gods, cursed IED undead
> wait, why wasn't this in the briefing?
> Ignore fear, try to watch for my mortar bros
> Dig faster please, I do not like these woods
> After a couple hours of shitting myself, we hear the radio again telling us its time to move out
> The mortar dudes have a four wheeler with a cart on it, holding the few tubes and mortars they could
> They apparently booby trapped all the equipment and the tent they left, and a minefield that'd make a tank scared
> images of 'No, is bomb' come to mind as we follow the four wheeler back to the FOB

Thanks guys, I posted it to /ic/ and they just shit on me without telling me what was wrong, will be finishing it tomorrow with some slight fixes and coloring

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJO

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> Continue when we hear an explosion from the camp
> I drop my fistfull of 9x39 I was reloading my mags with
> Incendiary this time, fucks
> Scrabble around grabbing precious rounds when I hear him
> 'Musta found the mines!', LT Redneck says, smiling
> 'Shouldn't we be moving faster?'
> 'Nah, it'll take em a while to figure out the minefield.'
> Hear more explosions
> okay.png
> Hear a crackle from the radio
> 'All teams, FOB is under attack by Greens and Undead, all teams are to return and support'
> See the mortar guys stop and start unloading the gear
> 'Go on up ahead user, we need you to spot for us. Go fast, sounds like shit is really bad up there'
> Start running through woods down the path we were on
> Start hearing gunfire not but a quarter mile up
> Drop to walking pace and prepare anus
> Stop when we see movement and the clearing the FOB sits in
> See random amounts of skellies running at the trenches and sandbag walls while Orcs are shooting random guns at the defenders
> A watchtower is on fire and the other is firing frantically and everything
> goblins are getting literally thrown into the clearing to either to get shot up
> Then I see him
> That same necromancer fuck that attacked the camp
> Notice he's got a metal as hell bone breastplate on under those robes, and is sending out random batches of skellies at the walls
> I got you this time
> Load incendiary mag
> Tell junior to shoot for all his worth
> Proceed to sight in and dump rounds as fast as I can at him, rounds lighting up like tracers as they fly at him
> See the bastard do that whole void thing again, rounds that would have hit him get sucked into nothingness
> Get a look at his face through the optics
> Asshole is SMILING
> Walks into blackness as trees start to burn from the rounds
> Well fuck you too
> 'user, those tracers revealed us, we got greenies and undead coming for US!'
> He's shooting rapidly as I reload

> See the darkness and feel the chill
> 'Junior, we gotta go, NOW!' I yell over the gunfire
> Then the Necromancer steps out the blackness not ten feet away
> He just leaps at us and swings the staff at me
> I roll and shoot more incendiary rounds while junior sprays
> See that dark crap moving like it's alive and just absorb the bullets
> thatscheating.gif
> He just laughs and the staff turns into a bone white Kingswood
> Bats AS VAL out of my hands while I try to reload and swings at me
> Slices through a mag pouch and the front plate like butter, and feel it slice my chest
> Oh fuck, it burns but is cold at the same time
> Junior screams 'IM FUCKING DONE WITH YOUR MAGIC SHIT' stepping back and continuing to unload
> Fight through weird pain and grab my MAC-11 from the little pouch I kept in on my pack
> See him advance on Junior and chop the barrel on his rifle off with some of Junior's right hand
> Cock it back and unload as he rams the sword through Juniors chest
> Notice the darkness can't keep up with the MAC on auto and rounds punch through, knocking Necroass to the ground
> See him fucking turn to dust like his minions
> Hit my knees from the pain and see Junior impaled to the tree, junior rotting away at an incredible rate
> I liked you kid
> pass out from the pain

> Pass in and out of consciousness
> Wake up for a sec to hear mortar whistle and shit around me explode
> mumble 'witness me' and pass out
> Wake up to see my dumb ass in some kind of field hospital and it feels like everything is on fire
> Scream and pass out
> Wake up again wearing a hospital gown with an IV in my arm
> Gown has some weird rune on it
> Actually not in too much pain
> Look under gown to see a gnarly looking chest scar
> Cute elf runs over to me wearing a lab coat and stethoscope
> 'Hey user! You're alive!'
> runs off before I could ask wtf happened
> See FOB commander walk in with a look of despair
> 'user, your up. You've been out for a week.'
> 'I'm so sorry about Junior, he fought hard and I did everything I could to-'
> 'Stop. Let me fill you in.'
> Tells me the skeletons stopped during the fight, probably after asshole got cheese'd, and the rednecks somehow got the FOB to coordinate mortar strikes after they lobbed a few at random
> The defenders got fucked up royally, losing over half their forces to cursed goo and random lead
> I got found by the rednecks when they actually returned
> Soon after, some elven group came through and radioed in to the FOB
> They were searching for the Necromancer as he was running from 'elven justice'
> After they came in, they looked at breastplate and sword, which somehow are bound to me after killing the asshole
> Which is how I didn't die
> Apparently I am a hero for saving the FOB
> And the elves have taken to calling me the 'Slayer'
> am I Guts now?
> Get told I must have the plate and sword within arms reach or the rot will progress
> Also that I got a bonus and my contract is considered done when I recover

So ends the tale of fucking shit up and getting fucked up also is not 'kingswood' but 'longsword' I do not how that got in there
Hope my OC is to your liking, anons

It was great, user

i rate good/very my friend

Ends as in done completely or just this part?

Twas some good shit user
Rip in pepperoni junior

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Does anyone have the story about the spec ops guys being captured monster girls

elaborate pls?

Glad you are back Jow Forumsing. Good shit as usual.

I'll write more anons

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> Get released after flirting with the elven nurse for two days
> Get my armor explained to me
> Basically, I've become some kind of lich thing
> Sword absorbs mana from wounded/killed things which is why they rot away
> Breastplate stores it, allowing me to do necromancer stuff with that energy
> Tells me that it's always slowly draining as its maintaining a link and my crazy wound is like some kind of mana drain
> If the breastplate becomes empty I die
> So I gotta slay stuff with the sword every now and then, but the elves have be cleaning it with some kind of brew that has mana it in to keep me alive
> See the bottle, reminds me of the ones I snatched from the druids
> I gotta go back and see old user anyway
> Grab my loot, which is a nice sized bag of various old silver and gold coins/rings and an actual gold bar
> Strap the remnants of my gear to the breastplate, AS VAL slung and MAC n cheese on my leg, pouches across the chest, sword in a hip sheath
> Ready to get slayin
> Get a ride with LT Redneck in a beat up Ford back to the Farm
> Ride back and swap cool tales of the battle
> Also his contract was up while I was out, decided to see stick around and see what became of me
> I musta made an impression
> Explain my need to slay
> Says he can get me to the portal we've been set up near, reports say its been stabilized by those knife ears
> Near a town on the other side, but has a massive problem with kobolds, used to have a problem with greenskins before they all went through the portal
> A real adventure
> Get to the farm
> Old user is sitting in a rocking chair with an Auto 12 in his lap, smoking a pipe
> Points a shotgun at me until he recognizes me
> 'user, what have you been up to?!'
> 'Doing what I do best'
> 'Gettin fucked up by crazy shit?'
> 'Yeeeeah....Got my truck fixed?'
> 'Its in the barn'
> Walk over with him and discuss a trade for some weapons hes got stowed

> Trade the gold bar to him for a S&W 29 in .44mag and a M249 for Redneck who only had a cut down mossberg
> Get three big fuel cans for my trip, and grab that druid wine on my way out
> Grab my truck after convincing redneck to leave his
> Get halfway back before we decide to camp out
> Decide to clean guns n sword while nibbling MRE bread
> Get to my sword and pour some on my sword
> Get what feels like an adrenaline kick the moment it slaps the blade
> OH YEAH
> See Redneck peeking over
> 'Whats that?'
> 'Some weird elf wine-'
> snatches it out of my hand and takes a big swig
> 'Thats good stuff...'
> Glare at him and snatch it back
> Take swig out of curiosity
> Tastes like blueberries and honey
> Hmm, good thing I got more, don't really know when I'll be slayin again
> Lay down in truck bed with Redneck just chilling by a little camp fire
> Then, colors
> All the colors
> Start seeing little faries and butterflies, everything looks bright
> Holy shit its hallucinogenic
> Be enjoying my trip and see Redneck rolling around in the grass and smiling
> Good times
> Then something black pokes its head from the field
> The colors fade around it to a grey, and it starts moving toward us rapidly
> Am I Tripping this

> Seems too static and organized to be the wine
> Grab my MAC in my left, sword in my right
> 'Whats going on user?!?'
> 'We got trouble, I think...'
> 'I'm too far out for this!' And draws his revolver
> 'Just don't shoot me!'
> 'Well, don't stab me!' He shouts and laughs
> See the creature hit the edge of the field to the road we're on
> Its like some kind of werewolf looking thing, but from the upper part of the jaw is only bone with green stone eyes
> Covered in a red warpaint pattern over black fur
> OH fuck
> Point and shoot MAC at it and it starts circling the camp at rapid pace
> Hear redneck follow up with .44
> Screaming 'YOU FEELIN LUCKY, PUNK?, DO YA?!'
> See it get hit by 9mm and .44, but only seems to flinch as green blood flies out of its side
> Hear my MAC click empty after I burst again
> Look over to redneck to see him reloading
> Drop MAC and two hand the sword
> See it run toward redneck
> Feel power surging from the armour to the sword, and just jump off the truckbed and chop down
> Smash it in the shoulder and go clean through the torso at an angle
> See the upper and lower body separate
> Stab it in the upper torso that's still trying to claw, see it start rotting away
> Aaaaah, that rush again as I drain it
> Wait, that thing was ALIVE?
> Don't care, its dead now
> See Redneck slap the revolver cylinder back and slide it in his holster, muttering about how he had worse trips

75th ranger regiment and green berets are in Afghanistan. They get a mission to go capture a high level target, but instead are ambushed by a ton of monster girls. The story follows one of the rangers and one of the green berets and what happens to them. Fantastic story, even has spider girls

Is there a link to it?

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This makes my smile the big smile

I actually know this one!! I loved it, it's from an old /wfg/ thread. If it's the one I'm thinking of. Hang on, let me dig it up.

I haven't read it in a long time, but iirc, this is it. Great read.

pastebin.com/7yrKL6dj

That’s the one! It’s so good

imma need some popcorn for this shit
be right back

Glad I could help!

Yeah it's a long read, and I'm glad for that. It's such a great story.

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Finally managed to re read all of it, it’s still just as good