Adventure Role-play the "I'll do it myself" Thread

It's be me, and since the last thread quit on us, I making one! First 5, kids! Name, Race ( Humanoid, Animal, orc, really anything that lives ) Class ( again, you can choose ) and 20 points distributed into 5 stats, strength, defense, intelligence, charisma and luck. You also get 3 starting items, and praise be elephant seals!

Attached: 1523554442977.jpg (589x585, 96K)

Example,
Vaelepepe
Elephant seal
Tank, 10 points defense, 5 charisma, 5 attack
Items: bucket, Noose, diamond covered dildo

Race: Angelic Hyperdemon
Class: Heretic
Strength: 0
Defense: 0
Intelligence: 0
Charisma: 0
Luck: 20

Starting Items
-The Holy Bible
-Satan's mutilated dick
-Foreskin

You're a goddamn legend for this OP. Hope there's more interest.

Race:
>human/red panda hybrid
Class:
>Mage
Strength:
>1
Defense:
>2
Intelligence:
>8
Charisma:
>5
Luck:
>4
3 starting items:
>Magic bamboo staff, 1 healing potion, 1 mana potion

Attached: red_panda_by_lumaga.png (900x1391, 1.24M)

>Name
Piotr
>Race
Slav
>Class
Slav
>Strength
2
>Intelligence
3
>Charisma
10
>Intelligence
5
>Items
Vodka
Tracksuit
Kalashnikov

Name: Danger McElroy
Race: human
Class: damage
Stats: 20 luck
Items: magic 8 ball, compass, flaregun

Makes all decisions with magic 8 ball, post number = 8 ball answer
0. Reply hazy try again
1. Outlook good
2. Very doubtful
3. Yes
4. Don't count on it
5. Most likely
6. No
7. Cannot predict now
8. It is certain
9. Chances aren't good

fuck you I'm the 20 luck guy

I'll play too
Race: Vampire
Class: Swordsman
Strength: 5
Defense: 2
Intelligence: 5
Charisma: 5
Luck: 3
Starting Items:
Fucking Flaming Samurai Sword
A submachine gun with lots of bullets
A vial of blood that grants incredible power for a short time when drank
Let's go

You walk into a village named Roller Fall, and you notice 3 things: a merchant, a distillery, and a castle. Where do you go? You go to whichever is majority

I'll add another one
>Name
Riddle McMuffet
>Race
Slavette
>Class
Narcotic Virtuoso
>Strength
0
>Defense
0
>Intelligence
9
>Charisma
9
>Luck
2

>Starting Items
-Cannabis
-MDMA
-A fucking 454 Casull AUTO

example of her in pic

Attached: Alice.(American.McGee's).full.696582.jpg (900x1200, 461K)

Ai hesitantly looks over the vampire, Slav, Angelic Hyperdemon and seemingly normal human and suggests they check out the castle, as she is broke as a joke and can't afford booze or merchant's wares anyways.

Well, your all probably broke, but it's not like you can't...steal... Hey, op don't judge.

Castle. Piotr already has vodka and tracksuit so no need for merchant or distillery.

Go to distillery. Mix liquors with narcotic drugs. Leave while trying my hardest to contain laughter for such a prank.

>Name
Jim
>Race
Reptilian
>Class
Battlemage
>Strength
3
>Defence
2
>Charisma
5
>Intelligence
5
>Luck
5
>Items
A grenade, a sick ass robe, and a bottle of pure LSD

My vote shall be decided by the magic 8 ball.
>yes
merchant
>check later
distillery
>no
castle

roll

You decide to go into the castle on a whim, and realise that the Queen is running around the castle with a pan on her head. All the knights are trying to get her to settle down, but she is too fast, and now running towards the doorway you are standing in. Wyd?

>Jim dips his finger in his lsd and takes a lick
go chat to the merchant

>no one can evade Gonzalez
spear tackle

I attempt to cast a spell to stop her in her tracks!

Riddle is currently intoxicated with ecstasy. Because of that, she made a seductive pose that aimed to infatuate the knights, but it took effect on the Queen instead.

ask the 8 ball. roll

Gonzalez manages to tackle the Queen, easily knocking her to the floor. And then Ai cast a spell, which missed completely and hit a poor pirate priest off in the corner.

8 ball says no.

Slap the queen with Satan's mutilated dick. Laugh like a fucking gentleman afterwards.

Take a swig of vodka, point, and laugh.

Running over to make sure she won't be held liable for a lawsuit of some sort, the mage asks the pirate priest, "Aaaarrrr you alright?"

She winks in an extremely ham-fisted way as she does so.

Laugh harder at the dick slapping and offer the hyperdemon vodka.

The guards, because of all your actions, think you are intoxicated. Only 2 of you are, but they just assume. All except 8ball over there, who manages to remain unseen, surprisingly since he was standing in the middle of everybody.

are drugs illegal here?
don't scare me bro i'm peaking

Riddle begs Jim Gonzales to feed her LSD. She's drooling in a cute and passionate manner, so why not?

Upon further inspection, the pirate priest was trying to court a female elephant seal, for some reason, who is holding a diamond encrusted dildo.

Piotr can handle his vodka like good Slav, make mama proud. Asks the guards why queen runs around like circus bear.

>Jim offers her a swig
its pure so enjoy your couple hundred hits

The guards catch everybody ( exept for 8ball, unsurprisingly )and threaten to execute you if they don't get a answer, what is your response?

Satisfied that her misfire won't have any immediate consequences, Ai seconds Piotr's question:

>Currently intoxicated
Jump in awe for such an interesting combination of a hybrid. The pirate priest found Riddle cute but autistic for making such an expression.

Befriend the guards
Jim lives on a no-shit-cunts-allowed policy and want to spread the word

Answer a question with a question? Bold, one guard states, and explains the Queen's been cursed by a demon. Who lives in a burned down village named Flamon

we slay the demon they relieve us of our crimes

Angelic Hyperdemon isn't a pussy. Angelic Hyperdemon rampages at the guards, laughing in disdain as he is enraged.

>*IF they relieve us of our crimes
strike the deal

They tell you if you slay the demon, you may stay here, and obtain the diamond encrusted dildo the elephant seal has.

off we go fellas

Fucking hell you guys are going so fast it's hard to keep up.

Ai dives for cover, not wanting to get caught in the cross-fire.

"Deal!"

Edgelord hyperdemon charges the guards, with success and bursts a hole in a wall. They then get tackled by the seal, and is now trapped until we're done talking.

What crimes? Hopefully hyperdemon comrade hasn't killed all guards, but trip to Flamon might be fun. How to get there?

Angelic Hyperdemon knows a demon bro to do the work. He summoned him with an arabian chant. However, he failed to do because he didn't memorize the chant in high school.

we took a lot of drugs shot a priest and tackled the queen

They only way there is to get " as drunk as a skunk and twice as smelly." The guards say it with a straight face, so they are most likely not joking about it.

Forcefeed hyperdemon alcohol and shit on him as a sacrificial pawn for being a retard

Riddle is confused as fuck in the occurring situation. She proceeds to just gracefully dance it off in front of the chaos.

Ai casts minor illusion on the shit to make it slightly less revolting visually, but twice as smelly.

Priest deserve it. If guards say so, down vodka and dance with Riddle with bottle in hand. Blyat yeah.

The guards give you each 100 pieces of dollar, ( a dollar in pennies! Ooh! ) And since this place is like 100X Russia, except there is no Russia, and booze is dirt cheap.

Angelic Hyperdemon got drunk. He failed to resist because he only has 0 Strength.

"Oh boy!"
Riddle hogged the dollars for she is a selfish hedonist

already have to run, fucking lost track of time and have work in the morning fml

thanks again OP!

>Ai distributes her 100 pieces of dollar among the party equally and disappears in a puff of smoke

Attached: tumblr_mg2cx2g31w1qbbgwqo1_1280.jpg (550x369, 51K)

youre not about to outjew the reptilian
en guard

Because of the shit you've done, the guards escort you to your holding cells, and will awaken you tommorow and sunrise. in the meantime, you have time to chat to yourselves, and then drink your assessment off. The guards say goodnight, and chapter 1 is ended. Goodnight, heroes.

When is chapter 2? r9k needs more of these

the great escape begins
jim pulls the pin of his grenade to blow the walls off his and adjacent cells
he dies in the process

This. This is pretty fun.

Jim dies, but no hole is made... For some odd reason, the time 8:00 PM forms from gunpowder of the grenade... Maybe a sign we should pay attention to for tommorow?

Look, what I'm saying is it's gonna either be in the morning around 9 or at night around 8, ok? Yells the elephant seal who was caught for sex trafficing

Race: Human
Class: Scout

Strength: 5
Defense:2
Intelligence: 6
Charisma:3
Luck:4

Starting items: Kalashnikov with ammo, 1911 with ammo, and plenty of gold.