How do I deal with my schizophrenia? The psychologists here are a meme, they've done nothing to help me out

What are your symptoms like?

The one who diagnosed me with it says I have severe paranoia and hallucinations that people are against me. I have gotten into fights many times before (once with a cop, and I went to jail for it). I also tend to dissociate myself too much and he says that's a part of it as well. I'm not an expert, I didn't even know I had this until my psychologist diagnosed me with it.

Sounds like a lie.

How did you meet this doctor?

Did they just happen to want you to be on meds?

>How did you meet this doctor?
I was sent to him by law, because I chimped out and got in a fight with a cop and almost killed him, so they sent me to a psychologist then sent me to get locked up for 1 month.
>Did they just happen to want you to be on meds?
Yeah, to me, that's what it looks like. They just gave me a lot of meds and told me to take it all and said I'd be ok if I took them. I did try them but it made me feel awful. I also took lorazepam when I was locked up, it made me numb all over and I couldn't move. They give me too much shots of this stuff that they had to give me an antidote so I'd be able to move normally.

So are they going to make you keep going or is it your choice?

It's them, not me. I'm required to take these meds by law, if the doc checks and sees that I didn't take them, then I'm going to get into legal issues. I also have a really long history of starting fights and being violent (but I'm not proud of it, just being honest), so my family is really urging me to take the meds. I don't really have a choice.

Seriously, get in touch with your doc and try to get the meds changed.

take long walks or rides every day.
At least an hour in the daylight in an area that makes you feel some relief.

Try talking face to face to friends or colleagues at least once every week.

Keep your mind somewhat grounded when you are better off maintaining composure and give it some space to wander and act out when you are alone.

When overwhelmed or in distress, never act on thoughts.

i'm just over here slowly scrumming to my madness
nothing works, and i wholly expect to kill myself before 30, so no idea, OP
>"The result of these attempts is that between 10% and 15% of people with schizophrenia have historically committed suicide."
t. Schizophrenic

What pushes you to violence so much? You have trouble playing it cool?

You might not even be what they say.

I have, once. He said these are the meds I have to take in order for the case I have with the cop to be closed. I argued with him that it made me feel suicidal and awful, but he said that's a normal side effect and it passes away after all.

Well shit's fucked then. He's right about the side effects passing though. Just need to bide your time and keep taking them.

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I used to have this intense feeling that everyone is out there to get me, harm me or kill me in some way, as a child. I would never sit with people, I would always sit alone because I was just too afraid and whenever I would hear anybody laugh (even if it's at a joke that's unrelated to me) I would get really angry and think they're laughing at me. Idk if this is a symptom of schizophrenia, but I always had this paranoia ever since I was a child. I feel like it calmed down as I grew older though (or maybe I became more intelligent and can understand people more, idk).