Which of the Chaos Gods would you follow, robots?

Nah I definitely understand how fucked up she is. That's why the not with enthusiasm part is there.

Tzeentch. Wish I wasn't such a brainlet so I could actually be good at plans though.

Tzeentch, my schemes in life have been fairly trivial but i look upon the successes with fondness and pride.

khorne for no other reason than i wanna cut people up.

But being pissed all the time would probably suck.

Not him but I'm already pissed all the time. Khorne is about exerting supremacy and I feel like that would be really satisfying, plus khorne isn't going to fuck you up like the other three and will mostly let you do you. You could probably get by as a functional person as a khorne worshipper, as long as you had an outlet for your fury

Khorne considering I'm pissed off 24/24 and have anger issues

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onions
NIGGGERRRS

Why aren't there nice gods too?
Are they trying to suggest that consciousness was a mistake?

id be fine with it, id help me be less a beta bitch.
see the poor guardswoman who went full avatar mode.

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there are nice gods, if youre green.

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What are some Warhammer (fantasy or 40k) that have a Nurgle perspective or at least prominently feature Nurgle things? I read Palace of the Plaguelord which was unironically pretty good, but it was the perspective of a Tzeentch champion BTFOing Nurgle worshippers so I wasn't able to get into as much. Still would recommend, it's basically Conan the Barbarian set in the Chaos Wastes.

They are all shit choices. I'd rather follow the lord Jesus Christ.

Would you need to be pissed all the time though? Couldn't you just take joy in martiality to earn his favour?

I believe that striving for martial perfection or enjoying combat falls under slaanesh.

I'd probably go under slaanesh since I'd at least enjoy it to some degree by definition right?

Can anybody give me a quick rundown of the gods? I feel like OPS image is missing shit.
How fucked up is slaneesh and nurgle?

Based, unironically

>Following Chaos Gods

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Slaanesh needs to constantly one up the sensation of pleasure which eventually hits cenobyte levels of fucked.

Nurgle makes you a pile of rotting flesh and everything hurts but you eventually get used to it and at least everyones very nice about it.

who /Malice/ here?

We shall deny Nurgle their flesh to fester and rot.
We shall deny Khorne their blood and skulls.
We shall deny Tzeentch their destinies and fates.
We shall deny Slaanesh their pleasure and pain.
Death to the Dark Gods!
For the Renegade God!
Let the galaxy burn!

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>worshipping a corpse on a throne with a monocle
nice meme m8

Plain old weird sex and drugs wouldn't interest Slannesh in the least. She is the god of excesses so run of the mill indulges get old really quick. To be Slaneshi is more like cutting off your junk and replacing it with foot long fucking machine powerful enough to shatter bones which blares white noise at 80 decibels, drugging the ventilation system of a preschool with megadoses of an experimental hallucinogenic many time more powerful than LSD , raping all the students, and making the teachers watch but not before cracking the their skulls open and putting probes in their brains which make them interpret pain as pleasure so they enjoy seeing their student's being fucked to death, and then cooking the survivors while they are still alive bastong them in your mixed body fluids and spilled blood while still fucking them as they cook to prepare a decadent cannibalistic banquet which devolves into a self mutilating blood orgy as you flay yourself and people fuck each others ears and eyes sockets. Maybe, just maybe that would be fucked up enough to pique Slaneshes interest but I doubt it.

Khorne. The world deserves to burn.

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Wtf dude, are the others as crazy as that ?

Khorne. No better right way than the MIGHT way!

More CYOA images?

It's not a CYAO image, it's just a description of the gods.

slaanesh is easily the best god desu

loud for the loud god

I'd pick Tzeentch so I can join the illuminati and make my cult a reality

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tzeench is probably the most "practical" chaos god.
but if i had to choose which to follow it would be khorne because fuck it.
skulls for the skull throne

To be a follower of Malice is to be a Chaotic warrior bent upon shedding the blood of other Chaotic creatures. As such, Malice is both feared and hated by the other Chaos Gods.

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Kinda but not really. The other God's are vile but they have their domains and actual intents. Korne revels in bloodshed but he also likes honourable combat and triumph through strength. Indiscriminate slaughter as a display of strength is fine but such torture he probably wouldn't care for and a lack of challenge might actually displease him.
Tzeentchs plans might ultimately include inflicting horrific suffering on the population of an entire planet but only as means to an end. It would just be a step along the way and he wouldn't care about one way or another about being so sadistic about it so long as the desired results are achieved.
Nurgle does derive power from anguish, despair, and the fear of death but also is the parton of defiance in the face death and new life so he would prefer thing's the be drawn out, hope to be held onto, and for the suffering to bear fruit of some kind.
Only Slannesh really truly enjoys such horrific things to that extent for the sake of the act alone as Slannesh is the God of dark indulgences and excess in all forms. Slannesh is hedonism and narcissism to the power of 100,000,000,000. She/he is degeneracy given form and flesh.

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Ok bro, because with only the text of OP, I was kinda liking Slannesh

They will all fuck you over equally just in different ways.
Khorne will push you to your limits and with his rage you could overcome anything, but falter and you're just another skull for the throne, he cares not whose blood flows only that it flows.
Tzeentch would show you secrets and imbue you with cunning to wrap the world around your finger... Until it all goes tits up as it was just apart of another plot and you're left right where you started, to do it all over again never knowing quite where you are.
Slaanesh would show you pleasure and excess unending, you would feel things you never thought possible. Eventually you would realize the only pleasure being felt is Slaanesh's.
Nurgle is obectively the best choice, although youn would wither rot and decay he would truly love you and you would feel no pain or suffering, just be a walking embodiment of rancidity.

Wubs for the Wub god. Smut for the Smut throne.
youtu.be/5N-FqHvr7OY
Worst God though unless you are talking in terms of pure evil from an RP perspective desu desu. Grandpappy Nugle is where it's really at.

Seriously. You can't even properly play a Slanneshi character. To do so would be to give voice to the sort of things that no one should ever think let alone speak and would make most any group think you're dangerously insane for even being able to even conceive of.

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The God Emperor says to slobb on my knob. Do it fgt.

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slaanesh because i'm a degenerate crossdresser who likes to hurt animals

Real nibbas follow Malal.

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>. To do so would be to give voice to the sort of things that no one should ever think let alone speak and would make most any group think you're dangerously insane for even being able to even conceive of.
Like for example, ?

Of all that the least harmful seems Tzeentch, but he'd be kind of useless considering his advice would undoubtedly be part of trying to deceive you for some ulterior motive. At least you can choose when to follow his advice and when not.

Not really. He often turn a people into chaos spawn when they stop being useful.
Well yeah. Both those posts are me.

Slaanesh of course
This tho. Only answered because I already know the Chaos Gods

>Not really. He often turn a people into chaos spawn when they stop being useful.
Was about to say this.
I'd say really Khorne is the least directly harmful god, just following him will send you insane and you'll get yourself killed without him having to do anything.
Slaanesh probably won't fuck with you much either, unless he/she decides one day you'd be better off with a dick, a pussy, 4 tits, and crab claws

What is a "chaos spawn?

None of they above. Best God right here.
youtu.be/IzWsLaolyLw

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How is slaanesh not harmful? If s/he one day decides he doesn't like you anymore he can inflict insane torments and suffering on you. Even if he doesn't dislike you, engaging in his excessive indulgencies will corrupt anyone and turn you batshit crazy in not too much time. If you manage to survive and not die early into the game you'll turn into something barely human in again not too much time.

Fuck your bitch ass gods, and fuck you especially.

Sorry, sorry. I get crabby when I haven't eaten.

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youtube.com/watch?v=60WQUG3XW3M
You worshipers of the dark gods are worse than the lowest peasant in all of Bretonnia. One day, I hope to destroy all of you in the name of liege and lady.

DOMINA VULT!

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Mindless nonsentient lovecraftian chaos beasts generally made from the mutated sentient servants of the ruinous powers who displeased or bored their masters. They might have even served the powers of chaos just fine and their God did it on a whim becuase they are dicks like that.

Khorne so I can slay normies. I especially want to see their lower jaw cut out and their tongue drooping down out from their throat like a limp dick.

Any examples? Sounds interesting

Slaanesh would rather let your own desires corrupt you than just turn you into spawn or inflict you with a disease

Gork and Mork best waifu

Why are you doing something that you recognize makes you dangerously insane though. Seriously, that is fucked up on numerous levels.

Anybody can conceive of atrocious acts as an exercise if they want to, you just don't becuase it's unpleasant and you have no desire or reason to do so and as I said giving voice to such think makes people THINK you're dangerously insane becuase under most circumstances no one in their right mind would consider these things.
Trying to imagine what a Slanneshi cultist would do however is the sort of thing that calls for such an exercise. I don't think people would consider most horror writers and directors insane becuase crafting fucked up shit is simply what they set their mind to for the purposes of entertainment. The issue is in a table top setting you have to play your role and don't have the luxury of distance between subject content and the person it's coming from that the written word and film provide. That more personal element makes it far more unsettling, tied to you as an individual, and uncomfortable for all parties involved the self included. It affects perceptions on a much more personal level whether it be justly or not and is why Slannesh is the worst god. They are simply too fucked up for anyone to enjoy putting to good use and their full potential.
In RP games in the warhammer setting like Rogue Trader and such. 40k itself is a strategy game so RP problems are a non issue.

Nurgle. Maybe I'd get better at painting my death guard as a side effect

Most people wouldn't be able to come up with something like that if they tried though (people on Jow Forums aren't most people, even on Jow Forums the type of person to be able to come up with stuff like that is a very small minority). I know there is similar crap out there, it's just that usually when you confront others about it they don't admit how fucked up it is and try to defend instead (usually by calling you a pussy or something). You recognize how fucked it is and that no one should be even thinking of things of that kind, yet you don't even think about it but even conceive of it without a second thought.

Khorne. Some of you are alright, don't come tomorrow to Paris.

Tzeentch.
>revels in seeing conspiracies unfold
To him our lives are like fucking old school, text wall rpgs where one move changes the outcome. God imagine having so much power. Just living to know all the endings, and enjoying the fact that only he knows this shit.

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>Most people wouldn't be able to come up with something like that if they tried though (people on Jow Forums aren't most people, even on Jow Forums the type of person to be able to come up with stuff like that is a very small minority

I don't believe that is true is all. I think the circumstances to do so have just never come up for most and without cause no one would push past the discomfort of thinking about it. You could proably write something really twisted if you let yourself. Throughout a person's lifetime they hear and read of all manner of terrible terrible things both fictional and real and that gives you the material you could need to draw on.
When a male author writes a good female character or just any character in general it doesn't mean they secretly wish to be the little girl or have multiple personalities manifesting. They are just distancing themselves from who they are and what they actually personally believe and think and place themselves in the shoes of another to better realize the scenario. Imagination does not a monster make.

>she
Because this comment is unfortunately not original.

It is true believe it or not. I'm not saying it makes you a monster or anything, but it's not something the average person can do to that extent

Tzeentch all the way nigs.

I like the idea of being a Sorcerer and bumming my way around the Galaxy with my horde of mindless Rubric Marines and lesser Daemons in the search for lost knowledge and wisdom

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Khorne is so underrated

More than just killing and hate he represents survival of the fittest.

To worship khorne is to worship power and therefore justice, honour, strength and skill.

Khorne is the unnatural order within chaos

Blood for the blood god and skulls for his throne

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So the god emperor then?

>pray to nurgle
>spread AIDS in a child hospital
>get favoured
chose a better plan than this

in the grim darkness of the 41st century, there is only war

>worship tzeench
>grow tentacle mutations
>rape asian high school girls

Wouldn't spread since they are children and isn't a terribly infectious virus to begin with since it's only transmissible through direct fluid contact. Shit plan. Pick a better disease and drop the edginess of it being kids. Adults who have to force themselves into work and go about their daily errands even when they are starting to get sick are much better for spreading illnesses.

Follow none of them and ask lord zamasu to consider them as honourary ningen

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i would love to follow slaanesh for the milkyes but im sure i would fall under khornes power since they choose you and not the other way around

I have really shitty self-control so would end up falling to Slaanesh really easily.

Sithis, n'wahs.

Way to many slaaneshi fags on here, but that is to be expected from a board full of sex deprived virgins (don't worry I can relate)

I would follow Khorne for sure. While Khorne is known for making people turn mad and become blood thirsty berzerkers, he also represents honor, principles, and tradition. This is why I would follow him because I believe in these things to a great degree. Also I feel like it would only be natural for me as well due to the fact that I feel like I am in a constant state of being angry. Not a white hot rage but I feel like I have a perpetual slow burning rage inside of me. I would like nothing more than to order a legion of Khornate soldiers to destroy everything so I could restore the traditions of old.

Alternatively I'd take the edgyboi choice and choose Malice. I've been described on more than one occasion as a simply chaotic person who revels in watching everything be undone for the sake of things being undone. As far as my personality goes, Khorne or Malice all the way

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Khorne. He's the only one with honor and the others are degenerate as fuck

You forget that she forfeited her body and soul to the warp and regrets it in the end

Tzeentch and slaanesh are obviously the gentlemens choice of Chaos deity

Your knights worship an elf

>Khorne
angry incels who want normies to PAY

>Nurgle
antinatalists, bachelor frog types

>Tzeentch
robots ever scheming on how to finally become Chad! Tzeentch will show you how, don't worry, anyone can become a Chad hehe

>Slaneesh
Trap posters, Brap posters, most normalfags

chaos gods are ironically boring

if I was a human in middle earth during the first age, I'd join up with melkor

>Tzeentch will show you how, don't worry, anyone can become a Chad hehe
that's exactly what happened. Ahriman tried to stop his fellow robots from becoming fat greasy neckbeards, but now they all turned into traps. except for the wizards who survived

Khorne, I just want to stop thinking and I feel good when I'm active.

A soul can be bestowed only by the Omnissiah

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Slaanesh. I'm enough of a fucked up degenerate to already be into all kinds of weird shit, and after a while I'd probably end up so fucked in the head I'd even get into the whole chainsword sodomy thing.

>Jow Forums finally stops bitching about things and plan action
>the eye of tzeentch becomes the new symbol
I wished lol. It would be a good meme. Also daemonic birbs.

I have a nurgle army irl

This guy makes my favorite YouTube vids for Warhammer

youtu.be/9-gSJW3sHXE

Slaanesh's curse is that he gives you massive blueballs, so you obey him in hopes of getting more pleasure.

This. Only non-normie option.