Itt: Cringe moments from your childhood that keep you awake at night

Itt: Cringe moments from your childhood that keep you awake at night
>that time you performed your rap song in from of your family
>that made up language you came up with that was literal gibberish you invented along the way
>playing with imaginary friends up until 12 years old and getting caught

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>heard dad and step-mom fucking one night
>told them they were loud during next breakfast

user going wild
Legit kekked

Why are you embarrassed by any off this? Little kids are retarded, user. It's normal.

At school:
>made tinfoil armor and wore it to school
>cried in second grade
>had to have a red stop sign print out taped to my desk, at the advice of my counselor (kek)
>punched a girl in the "tits" for denying me entry to the playground equipment
>>furthermore, when asked why I did it, explained I would have kicked her in the balls is she were a boy
>tell my friend on the bus that the 9th grade girl on our bus looked like someone I saw on a porn site and he told her "user says he saw you on a porn site"
>walked out of my class to the class down the hall to visit my girlfriend (a random girl I had a crush on) in 2nd grade
>would beat my head off the wall
>in 1st grade when we were in lineup I would rip gigantic, reverberating farts and the school had to call my parents to get me to stop
>thought I had worms so brought in a container and explained to my teacher that if I shit at school the doctor needed a stool sample (I didn't have worms)

At home:
>would get guilty and cried to my mom about thoughts I had
>suddenly got very existential and explained to my mom I was afraid of dying and would cry every evening when it got dark out
>didn't even watch the Blair Witch Project but was afraid the blair witch would come and rip my heart out (we lived inna woods)
>would read about UFOs and the Jersey Devil constantly


Around third grade a lot of this stopped but I was a very strange kid. My dad was awesome and we would shoot guns innawoods and quad around and go fishing. I don't really blame my mom but I do notice a lot of this involved her.

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Jow Forums is holding out today

>punched a girl in the "tits" for denying me entry to the playground equipment
>>furthermore, when asked why I did it, explained I would have kicked her in the balls is she were a boy

Kek

>6th grade math teacher was making the class do problems on the board and said that anyone who gets one wrong has to sit next to me and the whole class laughed
>Random kid in the 7th grade said he wanted to fight me and I got peer pressured into it and got my ass kicked in front of 30 boys and the whole school found out
>Got caught cheating on a math test in the 8th grade and the teacher told me off in the hallway
>In 9th grade literature the class was talking about odd habits of celebrities and I chipped in by saying Brad and Angelina "collect" African children and the teacher told me to get out of his classroom and the class was dead silent
>In 10th grade gym I was bullied endlessly by a Mexican freshman and his friend and I basically did fuckall to make them stop

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>In 9th grade literature the class was talking about odd habits of celebrities and I chipped in by saying Brad and Angelina "collect" African children and the teacher told me to get out of his classroom and the class was dead silent

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I didn't even mean it in a racist way, I was just trying to point out how they adopt African children just to get a good public image.

>6th grade
>playing a game where we characterize someone by saying an adjective for each letter in their first name
>teacher says she'll go first
>get to an R in her name
>my hand shoots up
>"Ravishing" I say with an overplayed grin and faux aristocratic accent
>nobody says anything
>the teacher just stares
>...
>"Uh, user..."
>realize that it wasn't funny and I'm not Chad enough to pull off the "hitting on teacher" meme
>try to backpedal like I didn't know what "ravishing" meant
>only makes it worse


that same year with the same teacher,
>find out teacher's husband got arrested for drunk driving
>start a note passing around the room saying we should tell everyone and get her fired (?????)
>it's CLEARLY my handwriting and clearly started at my seat at the beginning of the row
>teacher finds it and lectures the class while staring daggers at me
>played it off the entire year like it might not have been me

It's a little hard to remember but I think the ravishing meme happened before the note

>called the teacher "mom"
>realized my mistake
>started crying
>teacher comforted me and held me like mommy used to
still can't get over it

>12 years old
>get friendly with qt in class at school
>develop crush
>valentine's day rolls around
>try to be "romantic" by buying her a teddy bear with a love heart
>take it to class next day in a bag
>I give her the bag
>she opens it
>she looks at the teddy bear
>she screams

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I felt secondhand embarrassment reading this. We really weren't born to function.

>try to backpedal like I didn't know what "ravishing" meant

I felt this one, Jesus Christ

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Absolutely JUST

I'm genuinely afraid that I'll have some lapse in reason that will cause me to revert to my childhood level of sperginess

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>on road trip with family to niagara falls
>friend of parents live in new jersey so we sleep there for a night
>super horny, havent jerked off in days
>think to myself the guy who lives there must have porn stashed in his room
>rummage through his things and his wifes things
>think to check underwear cabinet, everything neat and orderly
>after im done looking under it for porn its much more messy
>end up jerking it while sniffing a pair of his wife's panties
they never said anything to me or maybe even to my parents but thinking of them opening up their underwear cabinet the next day and seeing how obviously it was rooted through makes me cringe

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This is actually sort of endearing
>tfw no mommy teacher gf

>I chipped in by saying Brad and Angelina "collect" African children
i wish i was your classmate

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>First Grade
>Mothers day
>Told by the teacher to make a heart cutout and a letter for our moms to show them how much we appreciate them
>My mom died pretty shortly after I was born
>Asked the teacher if I could not participate.
>she says "if you don't care about your mom you could at least write that down for her!"
>Start full out crying
>Pretty sure that teacher got fired.

Tfw 23 still talking to myself in gibberish

She was really nice about it
>told me to stay after class
>I thought it was gonna be a scolding
>she just basically told me "it's not so bad"
>"sometimes people make mistakes"
And then I was merrily at my way. Classmates made fun of me for the rest of my stay at the school for it, though.

this isnt a feels thread user

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man fuck this shit I hope the teacher died slowly and painfully

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Sorry to hear that user my mom is still alive but she always felt like a back round npc my whole life. Only mother figured I had were my female therapist I had during my childhood because of my autism. They would come over and help so I could fit in society . I probably would have been far more worse if it wasn't for them.

>tell my friend on the bus that the 9th grade girl on our bus looked like someone I saw on a porn site and he told her "user says he saw you on a porn site"

God fucking damn it, I hate shit like this. Similar thing happened to me.

>be me in 2nd grade
>group of boys talking about girls
>I chime in, "yeah I hate [girl I have a crush on]"
>one of the boys goes to the teacher and says I'm going to bring a knife to school the next day and kill her
>almost get expelled
>restraining order against her, one of my few friends
>she transfers schools and I never see her again

what the fucking fuck is wrong with that other kid?

Was his wife hot, user?

the fact that i cant remember if she was hot tells me she probably wasnt unfortunately or i would have probl kept a pair of her panties

I don't know, he was a fucking squirrely little cunt who had chad status because he could run really fast even though he was short. Typical normie behavior.

Literally everyone did this at least once in primary school

But nigga LYING About a kid having a knife, that fucker should have had the shit kicked out of him.

I have a Mother's Day one too

>in 4th grade
>one of the Brad-tier guys in my class's mom is dying from cancer
>his name is Brandon
>he's out for a full two months while she's dying
>this is around Christmas time so I'm sure it was super rough

fast forward to end of April

>classmates are standing in lineup
>rich girl is talking about a vacation their family is taking for Mother's Day
>for some reason I'm included in the conversation and I'm getting headstrong
>there's a lull in the conversation
>turn and Brandon's sort of standing nearby
>my brain makes the connection between him and Mother's Day without realizing why
>"Brandon, you doing anything for Mother's Day?"
>"My mom's dead man."
>a few moments of silent shock from everyone nearby
>there was no reason for me to talk to him or include him in the conversation in the first place
>apologize profusely while he assures me it's alright
>stand in lineup awkwardly while nobody says anything but can't leave

>attemp to high five oneit, left hanging, she noticed
>scream in class because I was dared to pretend to be a ballerina
>called by teacher, fart loudly
>ride go-cart durring field trip, fall off while trying to get off it
>be singled out (well me and another student) for not doing a test right
>get yelled at by teacher in front of the whole class
>dozens of moments when my voice cracked
>go for night walk, penis is peeking through flie [fly?]
...
And many many more.

Yeah he was a little prick. Pretty sure I punched him at least once but I never gave him quite the ass kicking he deserved.

pretty sure he is a literal faggot nowadays

>that time when you told everyone you "weren't interested in girls" and "sexuality was a spectrum"

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>Brad and Angelina "collect" african children
Strictly speaking that's actually true though

What's changed, 45659223?

I'm not delusional enough to believe in tumblr BS now.

But are you still a homosexual?

That's hardly Tumblr-tier

>the countless times kids would pretend to be my friend while lowkey bullying me and laughing in the background
>when I got rejected by a girl and responded with some gay fucking lyrics and she thought I wrote a poem
>that other time I got in trouble with some numale math teacher and wrote "kill" a thousand times on the inside of my exercise book


My brain's sort of shut out a lot of the fucking awful mistakes I've made, for better or worse

> Breakdown crying from a detention in front of my entire class.
> 14 years old.
> 15 minute detention.

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>reading book in sister's room
>Mom and step Dad think I'm in my room
>they start plowing
>now I can't leave
>stay and listen the entire time not knowing what to do
>they stop
>run and leave

>at video store
>Mom!
>wrong lady
>Mom and Step Dad ask me if I want to live with my "udder" (other) Mother for years

>Hang out in bar a lot as a kid against my will
>Kareoke night
>Mom makes me sing Who Let the Dogs Out
>Stare at screen, say lyrics quietly
>8 years old or so
>the song seems to go on forever

I should say they were in my Moms room which was right next door and I had to cross into it if I wanted to go downstairs

>be me
> 4th grade
>We were all sitting down on the floor listening to the teacher.
>I randomly interrupt her to say coconut.
>I started laughing and then looked around me, everyone looked like at me like I was autistic.
>awkward silence.

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>be me, 10th grade
>group project powerpoint
>we put a transition for each click to introduce each new page and each new bullet point
>be day of presentation
>the microsoft office we used didnt translate well to the version the school had
>each transition takes 5 seconds
>bullet points slow-mo clockwise swoop entering the screen
>whole class laughs a bit but i find it especially hilarious
>rest of my group tries to get through it but i am doubled up in laughter
>turning red wheezing snot almost dripping laughter
>i cant even present when its my turn and someone else says my lines for me
>every single kid in the class wide-eyed staring at me
>sit back down at the end of presentation and feel their sight following me to my seat

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I think hearing your parents bang is probably one of the worst things that can happen to ypu as a kid

There are some gold ones here

>twelve
>little kid

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when i was around 9 i had to write an essay about the iraq war, the teacher liked it so much she fucking paraded me around the school, made me read it out loud in other classes
she even submitted it to some fucking contest
i hated it so much

Yeah but it's right below seeing it