Abusive prostitute drug dealing mom

I'm a 21 year old girl, half black and half white.


My mother was a drug dealer, prostitute, welfare hoarder, and never worked consistently during any point of my life including now. She was extremely mentally, sexually, and physically abusive during all points of my life.


I only realized yesterday that she was a prostitute and would facilitate my sexual abuse.
I grew up alone with my mom in a very small apartment and now live away from her.


Ask me anything you want. You can get as personal as you wish as long as it's in good faith.

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was she black as night?

She has blonde hair and blue eyes.

Wait did she personally sexually abuse you as well or did only clients do so?

Did she feed you real food or just stuff she grabbed out of a dumpster?

Heard single mothers spend the welfare on themselves and just feed the kid enough to live.

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what effects did the lifestyle she projected onto you have on your understanding of society?

Do you think you will be able to resist the biological urge to become like her, or are already noticing little "mailfunctions" in your brain, which probably will lead to you repeating her mistakes?

you re 21, how about leaving.

inB4 mommy is mean but im to much of a tard to leave for some place else

Did you even bother to learn how to fucking read?

She would have sex loudly, in front of me, and overshare in the means of sexual abuse.


She would also bring me over her "friends" house to eat dinner.


I remember all nights ending with me being sleepy and wanting to go home but my mom insisting to stay.


She would guilt me by saying that her "friend" made the dinner for me and it would be rude for me to leave after a few hours.


The night would end with her and her friend insisting I drink water/juice and then waking up in the car or couch.


I also recall many instances of going with her "friend" to visit *their* friend at hotels because "they have a pool".


Same water or juice scenario. I just thought I had narcolepsy lol.

How young were you when you were first molested?

Jesus

So how did you escape?
What do you do now?

>Did she feed you real food or just stuff she grabbed out of a dumpster?


She was weird about food. She would go through phases of only ordering out pizza to phases of only cooking quinoa.


From childhood on there was never consistent meals at consistent times.


>Heard single mothers spend the welfare on themselves and just feed the kid enough to live.


I was getting roughly 1000 from the government while growing up due to my father dying. She took it all and barely took care of me.


I didn't know about it until I was too old to benefit.


It isn't a single mother thing it's an evil person thing.

shit like this is why i stopped seeing hookers. cash for sex shouldn't be a problem if its done voluntarily, though it always attracts broken people and I can't get away from the feeling that someone is getting hurt.

>ask me anything you want

Will you be my cinnamon gf?

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>one chance at life
>born to a sheboon who lets people rape you for cash

Lifes a bitch OP but youve technically had sex so you need to leave

>what effects did the lifestyle she projected onto you have on your understanding of society?

I have too much apathy to do many basic socially normal things. I am very jaded.

>Do you think you will be able to resist the biological urge to become like her, or are already noticing little "mailfunctions" in your brain, which probably will lead to you repeating her mistakes?

It is not purely biological. I think it is likely a combination of both biology and rearing, with it largely favoring rearing.

I do believe I have mental problems and have noticed how my malfunctions manifest.

I am going to college and attempting to get on my feet after some unrelated tragedies in my life. I currently don't have a job.

My childhood is the interesting part, tho. Now what's going on now.

you cool? have a lot of friends?

There are always more people involved than you realize every choice in life. It's depressing.


I don't remember. I only recently realized it was happening.


I would say 5th grade and younger, with no recollection of how young it could have gotten.

No user. I'm sorry

>sheboon

My mom is white.

I think I'm cool. I don't have a lot of friends and I'm kinda asocial.

>My childhood is the interesting part, tho
I don't think so
I really wanna know how you managed to develop the agency needed to escape
Plus you shouldn't dwell upon your past too much since it shouldn't define you

lol, you'resome dumb roastie.

Have you reported her and her "friends"?

>I really wanna know how you managed to develop the agency needed to escape

I had no other choice. My days were literally just hearing my mom scream at me and traumatizing me.

To break free at 17 I had a "family friend" (not sure how to describe them, they aren't too bad) take me in briefly. They lived by the college I was applying to. I looked for jobs in the town and I got an apartment there.


I've since had a bit of a mental breakdown.


>Plus you shouldn't dwell upon your past too much since it shouldn't define you

I know it doesn't define me.

I haven't had the ability to talk about my past with anyone for various reasons.

It is not dwelling, it's recognizing how my history is affecting me today.

maybe

No, I didn't report her or anyone else.


She is a master manipulator and I am trying to survive myself. I may decide to after I get professional help.

That shit sounds pretty awful thus far, sorry you had to live in a literal hell for the first 17 years of your life. I'm fairly certain that if you really had it in you, you could press charges against your mother and possible abusers. As an outsider looking in, that seems like a good course of action at some point. Could prolly even get some money out of the gov for failing to catch it.

So what sort of major you going for OP?

Also why open up to us failures?

Yes it was hell. Brief interactions with my mom cause me extreme agitation currently, so I don't plan on going through anything lengthy and legal. I don't think I could survive it.

>So what sort of major you going for OP?

Chemistry

>why open up to us failures?

I figured you guys would find it interesting and have questions.

fuck you mom? come on now user, probably the only pussy you're unstable ass can get.

>Chemistry
Well dang, if you can graduate with that then you gonna be all set OP. I was really hoping you wouldn't go for a feel good major like art or graphic design. So good on you.

So like do you ever think you'll find a man/woman you can trust enough to be with in a relationship or are you thinking you're done forever with all that?

Also, strangest place your mother brought you.

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