How does Jow Forums fap?

I keep a towel by my bed, and wash it now and again. Too lazy to go to the bathroom before/after.

Actually yes. I'd lay down and push my wingy through my legs and then use my thigh muscles to squeeze it back out.
Disgusting.

I used to do this
>About to nut
>Activate cumbrella
>Not enough space for all of my man milk
I could actually feel some of it go out then get pushed back down my urethra since there was nowhere else for it to go. It feels much better to just let it all out and clean up after.
Being uncut is great though.

When you cum and block the ejaculation it can lead to urinal disease.

That's why people pee after sex as well.

tfw took too long to desposit it once and my foreskin stuck together.
tfw now im cut because they couldnt unstick it

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You fucking what mate? How long did you wait to attempt to unload?

why the fuck do you even need to pinch something extra? Just death grip your dick so nothing comes out.

I used to do that, but it sucks when the toilet paper starts ripping while you fap. Also its dry and that is worse for deathgrip. You should use a sheet of paper towel soaked it hot water. It feels good and wont break.

Or even better, buy a masturbator and lube. Its so much better

>take my laptop with me to the bathroom
>sit on the toilet, laptop on one leg controlled with my right hand, dick in my left hand
>cum in my hand
>wash it off in the sink
i've never used toilet paper before in my life why don't people just do it like me

A sink is a man's best friend.

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so many normies on this shithole now
if you dont come in your bedsheets and go to sleep in them afterwards what the fuck are you even doing on this board?

Try cumming in your pants and still wearing them

For some reason I do it when I wake up with a hard-on at night. I just turn towards the wall and cum all over it. Since it's right below the window if someone would happen to see it they'd think that it's just from water leaking from watering plants but it's actually cum.

I fall right back to sleep after I do it.

>bonertown.jpg

Lay in bed and grind my dick against mattress, use phone for material
Bends the fuck out of my dick but I probably wont ever have sex and it feels amazing so idk

>cum all over my stomach and try to not cum too hard so it sprays over my face which has happened a few times
>wipe it up with like 4 tissues because it's a huge mess
>go clean up in the bathroom with wipes & wash my hands, which still stink like cum after anyway

>in the shower
>phone for fap-material
>shampoo as lube

I have a couple old socks that I use only for jerking off

>be robot-guy who is shit with women
>never get laid ever dont even make out with girls
>managed to have sec with 2 girls a year apart but that was years ago
>having a particularly rough 8 months since october 2017
>fapping one day
>realize my cum doesnt shoot or even spurt anymore
>have weak little dribbling cumshots whenever I cum even when horny
>mfw 26 years old, never really had sex, and now I'm getting older
Its fun guys, its totally fun

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lie down in bed with phone and/or imagination, masturbate and cum on myself, clean it up with tissues from the box right next to my bed, and toss them into the cum trash can right next to my tv.

i think i do it in a strange way.

in puberty i never started with the back and forth hand motion, instead i started prone, which is when you lay on your stomach and rub up and down. that's not the weird part, that is just how some people learn. anyway, i heard that doing it like that is bad for your penis so i stopped.

now, what i do is i take the excess foreskin (i am circumcized) between my pointer and thumb and pull it up and to the side, then push it the opposite way with my middle finger. basically it tightens the skin all around the penis, and i tighten and loosen. i don't use lube or anything. i can only get off to the back and forth motion when im close to cumming, it doesn't feel good for me when im regular hard. i have no idea if anyone else on the earth does this, but it feels good.

also, i rarely bother with tissues and stuff. i just cum into my shirt. i never leave the house and im usually wearing something over my shirt when i do.

kegel exercises nigga

Lol i just eat my cum,i love the taste

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What's the fucking point man

>a 600 year old tree died for this

I just jizz on the carpet. I have a little spot that's brownish.

i rub the head with my foreskin with only 3 fingers, never felt good to stroke it plus its easier to stealth masturbate like this, got away with it while doing it in my one of my high school with someone sitting right next to me before and all the time in the front building at the end of school while everybody waits for a pick up

I'm mostly left-handed

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I just fucking use my hand and stroke my shaft skin up and down.

literally made my day, millions of keks

So do I, every day.

Holy shit I unironically masturbate the first way you described. I've been doing this for nearly 10 years and I always thought it was the weirdest shit, but it didnt feel as good using my hands.

>Lie on side in bed
>Put paper towel in front of dick
>fap to porn
>cum on paper towel
>throw paper towel in thrash

It's that fucking easy

>t.cutfag.
I wrote this and it said my comment was unorigi what the hell guys.

You get hemeroids or piles something like that from sitting on a cold toilet to long.

I have always masturbated the second way you describe and also come into my shirt.

I take my sisters socks jerk off in one and put it back in her drawer when I'm done.
Fuck that Stacy bitch.

>i just cum into my shirt. i never leave the house and im usually wearing something over my shirt when i do
everyone can smell the dried cum on you btw
some might think it's piss but plenty know

>Lie face up in bed
>Fap
>Cum all over my belly and chest
>Spread and rub the juice until it fully absorbs into my skin
>Wipe my peepee tip on bare thighs and also rub
>Everything clean
Everyone else?

disgusting dubs

i just clean up the mess after ending.