Mental health thread #25

I don't think I can call myself asexual, but I am in practice, I'm really bisexual but I have no desire for any kind of relationship with another person. I've basically diverted all desire onto degenerate cartoon pornography at this point.

why would your psychiatrist be out to kill you for not helping yourself ?

I feel really lonely. I can go days not talking and then I get too scared to interact with people. I wish there was some way to practice talking other than talking to myself, that makes me more depressed.

I think it's mind control but then I know it's not mind control but then I doubt myself and that it's actually mind control all along. I felt like an emotionless zombie when I was constantly on meds. Literally no emotion. Luckily I couldn't get my prescription for about a month and then I got my consciousness back.

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enjoy anons.... time well spent.

youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc

>I felt like an emotionless zombie when I was constantly on meds.
talk to your psych, don't be afraid, tell them that the previous meds made you feel like an emotionless zombie and that you'd rather be crazy than be on them. they're there to help you, user, they'll listen to what you have to say about it. until you start bringing up hitmen and shit.

and this one is far superior... dont dwell on it and consume something different for a change.

youtube.com/watch?v=Qs8UKAf3ado

Just got diagnosed with
Schizoaffective disorder, SchizoidPD and PTSD.
Is my life pretty much over?

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I have had panic attack after panic attack these past couple days because I can't stop thinking about death. I'm suicidal, but the thought of dying a natural death terrifies me. I can't breath, can't think straight, can't do anything.
I've never gotten panic attacks before, and this is something I'd rather not bring up with my family. What do I do? Please

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>Schizoaffective disorder
Hello, fren. Which type of schizoaffective disorder do you have, depressive or bipolar?

Also, your life isn't over but your social life is. But who needs normies, anyway?

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>autism
>asexual
>NEET and slowly becoming depressed

I really wish I were normal sometimes.

I was recently diagnosed with adhd and anxiety, I never really believe in mental issues until I had a panic attack my first time when I was taking a walk and felt like the world was caving in, I had blacked out and thought I was going to die, apparently a crowd formed around me and I was taken to the hospital.

I've tried a multitude of meds. Each one is the same. I turn into an emotionless zombie. I don't need meds. I enjoy having free will

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I also have no interest in actual relationships. I am completely unable to properly maintain a relationship of any kind. I've been in college 3 years and I have 0 friends here and I haven't dated anyone. Completely through my own choice.

Almost had a panic attack today, but I curbed it before it got out of control. Now I just feel depressed and want to sleep forever. Professional treatment hasn't helped, and I refuse to take medication because I can control the anxiety most of the time. Music and distracting myself by learning new things has helped more than counseling services

Why do schizophrenics stop taking their medication so often? Why is feeling like a zombie a bad feeling? At least you don't feel depressed or anxious, right?

Depressive Schizoaffective.

Same here. I've never had a gf/bf and still virgin all by choice.

Counseling in no way worked for me. I did all the things she wanted me to do and none of it really helped at all. SSRI's were stupid too. I just kind of deal with it with distractions now as well.

It's not so much feeling like a zombie but you have no will, you have no likes dislikes, joys or sadness. It's a dull feeling.

It's good you realize you aren't missing out on much. Dealing with other people is more trouble than its worth. I had to deal with a normie roommate last year who only talked about girls and how he wanted to have sex. It was mentally exhausting to hear.

It also doesn't fully get rid of the depression or anxiety, atleast for me it doesn't.

My boy, we are one in the same! I too have depressive type schizoaffective disorder.

Sorry to hear about your life being over but on the bright side you aren't alone. I haven't met anyone with depressive type schizoaffective disorder in any of these threads. My man, if you have any questions about, ask away.

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Right now I'm trying to learn music theory and Linux system administration. It's kinda calming just working out how musicians wrote songs and problem solving with Linux commands. I have a hard time being around other people, and my therapist doesn't really help at all. Counseling is 99% a scam and 1% the patient was faking their condition in the first place.

From one autist another, how do you feel when people use autism as an insult or use it as the new way of saying retarded?

When I was a kid I used to be really senstitive about it, now I don't give a shit anymore.

Failed to get into my internship I was hoping for and can't help but feel like it's because I'm a social retard and can't do the bantering that's expected of me during interviews. Also getting to the end of the school term and I have a bunch of projects due which I need to put some serious time into but my depression is constantly distracting me. Phrases like "i hate my life", "i want to die", "i'm a loser" just pop into my head whenever anything goes slightly wrong. I can't drink coffee to help concentration or smoke weed to relax because both spike my anxiety and I always get panic attacks. Waking up in the morning is a huge struggle and I'm always showing up late to class and I'm convinced my peers and instructors hate me for it.

>why is feeling like a zombie a bad thing
Normie, go away. You don't know what it's like to not feel emotions. You have no free will. You don't experience joy or sadness. It's just a numb feeling. How is that a good thing. Normie, fuck off

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It's fine, autist covers a very specific description that you could give to someone who is loud and unfiltered or quiet and weird, it's different to calling someone a retard I'd say.

Do the delusions ever go away without taking medication?

Those are good hobbies, they have a lot to learn and can consume your time easily. I'm getting a guitar soon, I seriously want to learn how to play.

Try taking meds that literally turns your brain in "power save" mode. Try taking that for months, or years or for the rest of your life. Let's see if you want to live like that. Normie, go away

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>
Taking Ritalin made me feel like I was a zombie. It was pure hell.

Guitar is really fun. It hurts your fingers at first, but eventually it becomes less painful and more fun. I never got a gf from playing guitar, but it's still something nice for myself. Make sure you practice every day even when it gets boring or redundant

I'm just trying to understand, user.

No. Delusions are there forever. Some people get past the delusions and hallucinations and voices but when they turn around 40 or 50. But most of the symptoms stay forever.

When I was on meds, the voices and hallucinations went away but at the cost of my free will. The delusions were still there. But my experience is just one of many that people have.

I simply stopped my meds because I was an emotionless shell of a human. I was surviving but I wasn't living

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Just imagine experiencing no pleasure even sadness or depression. I'd rather feel something than nothing.

I'm listening. What do you want to understand?

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Guess that makes sense if that's the case, though I still see people using autistic to describe a genuinely disabled person instead to describe weird people

But then again I know I have been described as the "quiet and weird" type of autist before

So it's basically either me staying in my house full of anxiety, or actually going outside and being a literal zombie. Great shit.

It's a give-and-take. As a schizo, I quite enjoy staying indoors. I know I'm safe for the most part, though I constantly look out my windows and in every empty space in my house for secret cameras, but other than that, I'm safe.

If you want to live the life of an emotionless normie, take the "med" pill. It's your choice. Hope your country has NEETbux.

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Have you ever thought of building power armor or making an armored naval-style machine gun turret in a good chokepoint of your house for home defense? I think about that a lot.

I'm still a schizobot, but I'm actually listening to music right now rather than ASMRfus.
>how's everybody doing tonight?
Contemplating suicide or getting back into exercising.

Yeah they actually gave me a NEETbuxs forum right after they told me was pretty good.

I'm definitely going to try. I played the trumpet for 6 years so luckily i'm not coming into music completely dry. What kind of music do you listen to?

I'm scared of guns and bullets won't hurt what is after me. The monsters can't die from bullets.

I can't build armor because the materials to make it would be expensive. I just pray to God and hope for the best.

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I wish i had the delusions of cameras i usually think they're someone in the house and i run around the house with my axe checking every nook and cranny and stand on the front deck trying to see if he got past me. Always good shit

I'm only worried about humans and I'm not afraid of guns. The complexity and cost of making powered armor is a concern though, I'd need to learn a lot about engineering and programming and even then I'd be lucky to get a single hour of battery life and movement not jerky enough to knock me over. Turrets are a lot simpler so it's a more practical option, but of course they're stationary. What can kill the monsters?

I like folk music the most, but really anything other than mainstem rap and pop is acceptable. I have a hard time writing my own songs so I just learn other folk songs instead

i personally find it more tolerable than feeling anxious. being numb is easy.

I don't think anything can kill the monsters. I just pray to God that I won't see them. It sometimes works.

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>live at a place where the way home is not really straightforward from the highway
>someone was not far back behind me the whole time when coming back from work yesterday
>freaked out about getting my place spotted for burglary
>can't tell if it's just my usual anxiety over nothing flaring up, my first paranoid delusion or if it could be real
Good times.

I hope you don't have to see the monsters again, nobody should have to see monsters.

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I'm sleepy. I'm going to bed. Thanks again for the thread, OP. I like these.

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I just got out of an inpatient unit after almost two weeks. I feel the same as I did pre-hospital stay, but even less motivation. I don't have any goals anymore. I'm just existing to please my family.

zero two a cute!
ritalin does suck, user. i feel your pain.

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Only one solution:
Install Gentoo.