For 24 hours every wet ounce of shit you deposit in your toilet is converted into gold

For 24 hours every wet ounce of shit you deposit in your toilet is converted into gold
($1,303.00/ounce)
You have 24 hours before hand to prepare.
What do?

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Eat a bunch of meat and fiber-one bars.

mexican fast food
cheap energy drinks
sweets

>go to a public toilet stall
>wait in cubicle
>each time someone enters a stall, make an announcement that you'll give cash in hand if they leave their shit in the toilet
>collect shits
>go home
>deposit them in my toilet
>???
>profit

Well now I'm going to do what the smart jew I'm gonna be quoting would do, beacuse that's probably a better way to actually make money out of this, but I'd probably just eat a fuckload of fibrous foods, until I want to die, then go on the toilet and die.

Just eyeballing the size of most of my turds though, even a regular dump would net me like 20 grand, not a lot of extra effort needed to really make money from this, even just taking some laxatives and winging it on whatever I've got in the tank now would probably net me enough for everything I've got on my money pit list

You jewish?

You'd probably get arrested

rent a pump truck and extra containers
fill them with animal shit
???
probably process several tens of tons of shit in a day

Sucks to be you. There are some porto-potties just down the road at a transit station, I'll be beyond rich without any monetary investment.

Rent a horse

Easy. Buy horse manure
Difficult bit is going to be selling the gold without awkward questions about how you got it and being investigated for money laundering

You just made me up my game.
>go to a sewer
>connect pipes to toilet

I'll be RICH!

I think you would block your toilet user

gambling wins motherfucker, its always gambling wins

this but also milk and oreos.

animal shit is turned into a state that is best described as almost liquid for spraying on the fields
and since op specifid
>every wet ounce of shit
the water counts for weight since its technically diarrhea which is shit
so it should be fine aslong as the pressure doesnt get too high

Curry, Fiber, Laxatives and Water

I'm assuming it needs to be human shit?

If so I would make a Grindr account and say I have a fetish for giving guys blowjobs while they take a dump. After sucking off four or five fags plus taking a huge shit myself I would be set for life.

this, I was in the middle of starting to type this post up myself

you'd just stick a tube into the S bend and pipe a constant stream of shit in, if a flush is 1.6 gallons in new toilets, and lasts like 2-3 seconds, my very round numbered math
1.6/2 = .8, so .8 gallons per second, times 60 seconds = 480 because 8x6=48x10=480[/spoiler
says you should be able to get away with 300gal/minute and only be at just above 80% 'capacity' for the pipe, assuming that the toilet flushing is the maximum gallon/minute water flow that the pipe can handle, which it probably isn't.

assuming just water weight (which I think it would be much heavier considering shit sinks, but we'll ignore that because these numbers are asinine anyway) that leaves you with 717,120lbs of wet shit, or 11,473,920 ounces, for a total of 14,950,617,760

I'm not gonna re tweak the numbers, but if you pull this off, and push the pipe to its limits, and factoring the fact that the poop water is probably heavier than just straight water, you could easily buy the entire united fucking states of america out of debt, probably thrice

just like that

just buy the country out of debt, with gold, the realest of real currencies, because some dookie fairy showed up and gave you 24 entire hours to pay a guy with a truck and pay a guy at a sewage facility to not ask any questions for 24 hours and then they'll be fucking billionaires

OP your idea is broke as SHIT

oh fuck I spoilered the whole post

my bad

I was considering doing the numbers myself but I found myself too tired, so thank you user
I can now peacefully dream of my trillions of dollars worth of pumped liquid shit and a pissed off genie

This but I would try to get as many guys as possible, ideally around forty

That would be disgusting. You'd be sucking off some random big dicked Grindr nigger while he grunts out fat logs of smelly shit for like ten hours straight. You would probably vomit

I would go to a gay kink nightclub and let guys shit in my mouth. I would purge the shit into gasoline containers in my car and try to fill up as many canisters as possible. I'm in a big city so I'm 24 hours I could gather up a lot

>lactose intolerant
>go to the grocery store an stock up on ice cream and milk

my genetic inferiority finally pays off

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what the fuck, no you brainlet

.8 gallons per second is 48 gallons per minute not fucking 480

that pic is my fetish you literally made me fap

Drink as much tabasco sauce as I can keep down then hold in my shits until the day comes

I would gorge myself on so much food that I was in physical pain