How do you actually become someone people want to be around?

Lucas Wood
Lucas Wood

Ignoring the easy way (being Chad or a girl), how should we go about doing this guys? Here are some strategies Ive been thinking about

be interesting
Besides being very vague, Im not sure if this is 100% true. Ive met plenty of cool people that had no hobbies and plenty of seemingly interesting people that were utterly awful to be around. What even makes someone interesting anyway? Is being into obscure but good movies, music, books, etc interesting? Is it interesting to go snowboarding on the weekends? Or to play guitar? Honestly I dont even know anymore.

be charismatic
This is a tough one for all of us. Like being interesting, its not really quantifiable yet its extremely obvious when someone has charisma. Looks play a decent part in this however they alone wont make someone charismatic.

My goal isnt to be some super cool Chad, just someone people wouldnt mind being around; A person who would get invited to places every so often.

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Xavier Roberts
Xavier Roberts

Just bring mints everywhere

Thomas Howard
Thomas Howard

What is interesting to someone is genuinely something that is markedly different from the average. Something that stands out. If you want to stand out against the crowd, find something you enjoy that's niche. Be like that paragliding vlogger or the guy that makes weird mouse traps.

Jacob Smith
Jacob Smith

But that wouldnt be genuine

Christian Walker
Christian Walker

Communicate with enthusiasm. I talk to about whatever I want to whoever I want, and they are always enthralled. You have to be funny too. Don't tell jokes though.
I'm not entirely sure if this is stuff you can really get good at. Like sometimes I talk to people, and they are just not all there socially. Like they're missing something. They'll say something and it will be almost empty or hollow? It's hard to describe, but I'm pretty sure everyone can pick up on it

Brandon Fisher
Brandon Fisher

Girls in particular don't communicate logically, but through feeling. It doesn't matter what your saying exactly (though you can't just say stupid shit) all that matters is the subtext of what you're saying. What energy are you putting off, and is talking to you a pleasant experience.
When I talk to people, chicks in particular, first thing I focus on is what sorry of person they are, and what sort of humour they might find funny. I determine if we're going to vibe, and if I don't think we will, I just don't bother with them and just be polite.

Jeremiah Bailey
Jeremiah Bailey

Also, no one around here will tell you this, but more attractive girls are generally nicer than ugly ones. Even if you are autistic, so long as you aren't being creepy, most hot chicks will be nice to you in real life, especially out and drinking.
Ugly girls and fat girls (mostly ugly girls) don't get socialised properly and are stand offish and often resentful. They haven't had everyone be nice to them forever. So avoid.

Nathan Harris
Nathan Harris

you have to be hot OP there's nothing else to it

Chase Bailey
Chase Bailey

Being interesting is infinitely less important than having something interesting to say. Talk about them. Ask them questions and actually listen to their response.
If you think you are unworthy of a girl though, they can smell that. They can just tell and it fucks up the whole interaction.
Charisma is a bit more complex though. Not many people are charismatic. It's a combination of extraverted intuition, proper socialisation, confidence, experience and willingness to entertain. You can't really learn to be charismatic, but you can learn to be more fun to talk to.

Sebastian Sullivan
Sebastian Sullivan

Literally everything is interesting of you're enthusiastic about it. I was talking to a solid 8/10 tonight about starcraft 2 betting for like an hour tonight and she was asking questions and feigning wanting to do it.

Ryder Smith
Ryder Smith

It helps but it isn't everything. Dressing well, good posture and confidence can make up for a lot.
Honestly though, I don't want to be negative, but if you're short is a bit harder.

Aiden Torres
Aiden Torres

He doesn't really know what he's talking about.
Though, there is no such thing as being genuine.

Grayson Walker
Grayson Walker

It doesn't matter. You could spend years taking acting classes and learning pop culture and trends and people will still hate you. They'll fucking loser underneath trying his damnedest to be a normie, even though you both you know don't belong amongst them.
Embrace the single life. It's hell.

Nathaniel Allen
Nathaniel Allen

Just don't try to be a normie, find a weirdo friend group.
And honestly, of you did do acting classes and made a concerned effort to learn pop culture and other sucker's relevant stuff, you would most likely be fine.

Not trying, which it's all you've obviously ever done, isn't going to get you anywhere.
Socialising isn't that hard. The fact you can post funny mean things on here means you're not totally retarded.

Jackson Adams
Jackson Adams

If normalshits want to be around you youre doing something wrong

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Alexander Davis
Alexander Davis

Like sometimes I talk to people, and they are just not all there socially. Like they're missing something. They'll say something and it will be almost empty or hollow? It's hard to describe, but I'm pretty sure everyone can pick up on it
Would love to hear more of Jow Forumss thoughts about this. I've noticed this as well and I also find it hard to describe.

William Moore
William Moore

Honestly I think it's mild mental retardation. They make jokes that are obviously not funny and make people feel awkward. And they just say things in a way that breaks the flow of the conversation. I see it in girls and guys. It's almost like an uncanny valley sort of feeling?

Carson Torres
Carson Torres

Sometimes it is mental retardation, but other times I think anxiety can play a significant role. One of my nerdier friends has a decent social life, but when he talks to girls he's a complete wall. It's almost like he has autism. In this case I think it can be fixed, you just need to expose yourself to as many "scary" social situations as possible. Good luck trying to get people to actually do this though.

John Wood
John Wood

Use Jow Forums memes to make friends

Asher Nguyen
Asher Nguyen

Doublemint Dave detected

Logan Gonzalez
Logan Gonzalez

The person's clearly named "Mark".

Brody Powell
Brody Powell

Yah that's different I think. I like talking to quiet, anxious and shy people. You can tell if someone is just hidden away in their shell, but a lot of people just couldn't be bothered trying to get them out.
I mean like, people without any hint of self awareness. Like they're aliens that learnt to be humans from children's cartoons or something. I dunno hard to describe. I notice more girls with this thing than guys, cause some desperate guys will date these things and take them out in public with their extended friend groups.

Asher Hill
Asher Hill

bumping

I can't be the only one interested in self improvement.

Ian Ross
Ian Ross

the thing i like most in women and could work vice versa is being high in openness, or being easygoing. they like it when you smile like a dumbass and laugh and tell jokes and always come up with funny quips. Only problem is is that it requires charisma, but smiling and being more open is a starting point anyways. I remember a 7.5/10 girl from hs who was outgoing and kind to everyone, brought her up closer to a 10 cause of that.

Oliver Rodriguez
Oliver Rodriguez

what exactly do you mean by openness?

Dylan Nguyen
Dylan Nguyen

Doublemint Dave detected
kek

Dominic Hughes
Dominic Hughes

You are clearly named "Newfriend".

Adam Howard
Adam Howard

It's Anonymous.

You must have a pretty poor eyesight.