I realized it's excruciatingly hard to find someone to love. Sure you can still find someone to fuck, get married, and have kids with, but to actually love them and care for them is the most difficult thing in the world. I'm betting that only about 5% of people actually love their significant other, everyone else fakes it till the end. To find ANYONE to fill in your very niche expectations and requirements is gonna take more time than you're gonna spend with them.
This whole thing just makes me depresed to think that very little people make it, I don't blame them, finding someone hot is much easier than finding someone you'd love. It's impossible, almost. None of us are ever gonna get it, even if we find them, who's to say they're gonna like us back.
I realized it's excruciatingly hard to find someone to love. Sure you can still find someone to fuck, get married...
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>I realized it's excruciatingly hard to find someone to love.
I have been struggling with this (trying to find a waifu) for several years
im so glad that someone else understands this concept. it seems so fucking impossible to find love for someone/thing
I doubt 'love' exists to begin with user. Attachment is pointless and most relationships seem like business deals more than anything from what little I know about them. Not to mention after a while regardless of how well you click with someone you'll likely tire of them or vice versa.
>Attachment is pointless and most relationships seem like business deals more than anything from what little I know about them.
nice experience of relationships you got there "chad"
I agree it's just our brains trying to trick us into making babies, but the feeling people talk abour can only be described as love. I really want it, even if it lasts a short time.
this is a blackpill that I wish I didn't have to swallow
it hurts so much, but it's true
real life isn't an anime. there is no 'love"
I don't interact with people outside of this website user. I said from what little I know of them meaning observations from online posts and media. It makes sense though, people simply give and take in relationships no? They want to fuck and do so, they want financial support or some other benefit that other person offers and get it from one another, or status I guess.
Men love women. It's only men who don't get to know what it feels like to be loved.
The honeymoon period is basically what you want isn't it? The part before you get bored of the person or vice versa and things are still 'new' and exciting or whatever. Not that it'll last but you said you don't care about that bit.
>finding someone hot is much easier than finding someone you'd love.
And to think half of those people are pie-faced, weasel eyed Ashleys that barely pass as homo sapiens, who post those motivationals on Facebook that everybody laughs at. They are supposed to be someone's arm candy.
Is this what women believe? They really only do care about sex. Women are disgusting
Chill out with all that excruciating nonsense.
A month'll keep me from killing myself for a decade, user.
A month is enough to keep me from killing myself for a decade, user.
IGNORE ONE OF THESE, MY FUCKING MISTAKE
>ywn have a totsuka bf
Depressing but equally falls under the same problem as any other relationship.
Yes then the honeymoon period provided it lasts a month should be good enough for you. Just don't actually get attached to the person provided you manage to get a relationship to begin with. There's also a rather high chance that the honeymoon phase may not even last that long I have no idea how long it typically lasts or whether it even reaches the expectations you likely have. Reality as another user said isn't anime and the properly romanticized/idealized relationships in that media are insanely unrealistic probably.
>even if we find them, who's to say they're gonna like us back.
This means you are thinking about love in a flawed way. Mutual feelings should be a requirement before you ever say you love someone.
I died from a suicide but my wife revived me.
you can be in love with someone but they dont know about it
thats what a crush is
If it's love, then there is no honeymoon period, then it just feels like it till the end.
I disagree. I'd say a crush is infatuation. You don't really know them well enough to say you love them. It may be a super strong feeling, but I think most people would agree that a crush isn't love.
I said before I highly doubt love exists to begin with. The best you'll likely ever experience in life is a give/take mutual benefits thing that people can call love but it's probably not. Outside of media I doubt love is real and even then the idea doesn't really make much sense or seem realistic honestly.
well shit, you make a good point there
I'm just as cynical. I don't think I'll even find joy if I met the 5%. Now I just find my happiness through remaining in the background watching happy old couples or stuff on media.
>to actually love them and care for them is the most difficult thing in the world
Nope, that ez.
Getting that feeling returned however, good luck.
>Nope, that ez.
easier for some than others
i dont think ive ever felt love in my life, only lust
id give anything to feel it
Maybe just too empathic.
I always found it far too easy to find some things to like or admire about even the worst people, or put myself in their PoV and so see an excuse for their bad sides.
Instead I should probably just wonder what they can do for me, and file them under 'trash' if nothing comes to mind.
I know her,she knows me.But shell never love me the way i do.And i know this sounds like typical robot cope but,its because im unnatractive.Its a lie bros,atractivness truly is the key to love,you need to be atleast at a baseline before trying something.if yoire under that base line , then no amount of similarity and interest is wnough to help you climb that wall.
love is love and it fucking sucks
I just want to take care of a chubby NEET girl who shares my interests or at least would watch movies and cuddle with me
I know she's out there, I want to love her and just make a life together, rely in each other and survive
I definitely vibe with you OP. I've been with the same girl for five years, married after three, and loving her definitely requires a different sort of mindset that lots of people don't even consider. A lot of the reasons marriages fall through is just these outrageous expectations.
There's this song by comedian Bo Burnham that's called "Lower Your Expectations" with a line that reads "Just pick a girl and love her" and I wish more people treated relationships that way.
My girl is an immigrant. She has extreme social anxiety, never even spoke to a guy outside of school before I came along, and never expected to be married. All she wants to do is be a homemaker, a wife, a mother, and a pet owner. All I want is someone to have kids with, help me upkeep a house, and laugh at my jokes.
That's it. She's one of my best friends, I love her deeply, she loves me deeply, but the love that goes around media aides in killing actual relationships.
Aww
Orig
That's dumb.
Orif
makes in the world i grew up in. women get asked out, paid for, growing up they learn love is something that's plentiful for them and they don't need to do anything but be their wonderful selves.
makes sense* originoli
I found someone I loved, and then it fell apart and now I feel more empty than I've ever been in my life.
It's a joke to think that people actually think it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Bullshit. Just going to compare anyone new to my first lover who was perfect and took all of my firsts.
would you
A) never have met this perfect girl, but doomed to stay alone for your whole life
or
B) remain in the reality of having loved this perfect girl and have the world be your gd oyster?
I choose A. People who have never loved can always move and look forwards and hope and dream about the possibility. It's like that feeling when you play the lottery even if you know it's stupid.
In my position I don't see a point in the future. I'll never experience this amazing person again, I gotta live in the past with memories of them to keep me going and cry a few nights a week. All I'm doing is living off the past because there's no point of the future. Nothing to look forward to, already won the lottery and spent all the money. Now I'm broke and homeless and always will be, but unlike other homeless people I now have a real comparison for how shitty things actually are.
who here /got lucky/ and found real 2 way love
like not normie "im so in love with you stacy" but actual love
i did nothing it was just luck
thanks for rubbing it in
pls describe what it's like
I don't know if I could love somebody else
not him but look at pic related
every time I read it I just feel a part of me dying
ill never experience this or understand those emotions
it's not fucking fair
Yup, and now if you lose that relationship you go full on depressed. Fuck life and shit.
love in marriage is just like having a friend you live with
its weird im not good at explaining emotion, but ill try
i feel completely comfortable to do anything around her without reservation
i cant stop thinking about her and i just want to hold her and kiss her
we are both mentally fucked up so we understand each other and know how to work with each other's problems
we layed down in front of a lake and just watched the night sky for awhile while holding hands and doing nothing else
the love itself isnt something i can describe well sorry
go on /x/ and start praying to eris or something fir increased luck
That's limerence, though.
Are you looking for limerence, OP?
For those of you who actually wish they could experience love, why? Provided it is a real thing what would someone loving you actually add to life?
just be gay lmao
I just think love is the same as always gets your dick hard
>what would someone loving you actually add to life?
are you baiting or something? the answer is obvious
No I'm genuinely curious, I can't see what it would add. I wouldn't trust someone claiming to 'love' me nor would it seem to add anything to life.
people who implied/said that they loved me always attempted to sabotage me so that I could be pinned down to what they expected of me, regardless of what I wanted.
So again, what would being loved by someone actually add to life?
at this stage I'm so fucking jaded I just don't know if I can believe it exists. If you beat the odds and A/ find someone who could possibly love you for you and B/ they want to stay with you and only you forever, then I wish you all the best. But the odds look astronomically low. I don't want the world, just a cute girl who really, truly loves me and is willing to stick with me through thick and thin. I'm so scared of falling in love and having my partner cheat on me. Every woman in my family has cheated. Mum cheated on my dad who is my best friend and a genuinely good person. Not a 'my dad is superman even though he's a cunt' person, a genuine, down to earth, honest good person. Both maternal grandmothers cheated too. I can't trust women as a result.
where did you meet her? I wish you the best of luck going forward. I don't feel bitter toward the robots that make it. I hope we all do.
it's basic affection and validation. a feeling of "okay, someone actually likes me for who I am and wants to spend time with me and build a life with me"
im not talking about that. im talking about true, mutual love
But how does that differ from general liking that relationships have? I mean from my understanding at the start of a relationship the person fancies/likes the other but not loves so essentially it's no different then? Not to mention how often relationships falter it seems like it'd be tedious to acquire and ultimately pointless as with many things in life.
>true, mutual love
you spoke about someone loving you. Don't move the goalposts.
if someone loved me I would love them back no matter what
im desperate at this point
It's been ingrained into my head since childhood to be selfless and lives for people other than yourself. Eventually it just became ingrained with my personality. I don't like doing things if I can't share it with others, even if it doesn't make a lot of sense logically.
I just want someone who I can share everything with, and vice versa. Something symbiotic like that to give me a reason to wake up in the morning. I want to make our lives special - something worth fighting for.
You don't know basic grammar. It's not gonna help your situation if you are unattractive and possess the communication skills of an elementary school student. I am the child of one and our lives are only worse for him ever having made it, so trust me on this.
Pff, how dare you compare waifus to those disgusting 3D abominations.
I have so much love to give. Too bad no one wants it. Except my pets I guess.
I wasn't though...
OP may be searching for 3dpd, but im looking for a 2d waifu
the end goal is the same though, we want to be able to love someone
I didn't expect you to still be here 5 hours after the thread was made, pardon.
>tfw will never get a weeb gf who loves idols like I do
Just kill me. I can't imagine dating a normie girl or a non weeb girl. What would be the point?
What about getting an actual Japanese gf?
Then that would solve everything.
Not OP, I did find someone I loved deeply but we broke up, even to this day I think about our children would be like, it gets repetitive to even think about it, I even write down fantasies of us, oh well.
>I realized it's excruciatingly hard to find someone to love
No, it is harder to find someone who let themselves be loved.
race traitor piece of shit
Nothing wrong with wanting a cute jp gf
Love is a lie.
Been with the same person for 36 years.
I just want to piss on there grave.
(In before fuck you grampa)
You think that's bad what if I told you some of us find it then fuck it up
>you can only love someone if they're a 100% perfect match with all your expectations
Ask me how I know you don't have much experience with relationships.
This might be of interest to you: qz.com
consider the fact that two people who think they are truly in love have decided that because of some reason outside of their control; like that person found them in a bad time in their life and saved them, or that person was their first lover, for both partners they may believe they are in love and that love is genuine because it is attached to a unique experience
then consider the much, much more common experience of love in which two people are conscious of the effort the other puts into their relationship, and thus the relationship grows out of a mutual desire to make that other person happy, in this case feelings and their origin are understood and whilst it can be traced back to an independent decision, you will always know you made the conscious choice to be with that person, and they made the conscious choice to be with you.
i'd take the latter, at least then i know it wasn't by some exterior incident that i ended up with the person i love like the first case, in the second case i know that i love this person because we both chose to love eachother
I've got that mindset, but I can't get any relationship partner to adopt it too.. What do, user?