Local gym has a strict no singles policy

>local gym has a strict no singles policy
>get a female coworker to pretend she's my girlfriend so I can sign up
>all in order user, let us know if you need anything
>2 weeks later
>user what are you doing at the gym on Friday night, don't have a date with your girlfriend?
>haha no she's busy tonight haha
>that sucks user
>wait, don't tell me you two have broken up
>of course not haha she's just busy you know haha
>well I'd better not catch you here all alone next week
>can't go on Fridays or weekends anymore

Lol no singles policy. Implying that something like that wouldn't be illegal

how the fuck is this even a thing?

good

I know right user haha that's almost incredible

I guess I'm not getting in

>go to my best friends gym with him
>super fucking excited
>go in and everyone is very nice and greets me
>best friend literally tied me to the treadmill by my neck
>wtf man
>standing there walking on treadmill
>friend is ignoring me, lifting weights.
>everyone walks by me and looks at me
>friend finally comes to get me
>everyone at the gym calls me a good boy and rubs my head
>someone even gave me a snack

It was okay i guess.

>put on GFs dress and high heels for the lulz
>walk into bedroom
>she laughs at first and then tells me to take it off
>gets mad
>says shes jelous because i look better in it than she does

If I let you sniff my hand could I pat your head?

I prefer chest rubs desu

Well, it would be illegal to say no single women, but obviously saying no single men, or even no men at all, is perfectly okay.

Are you working out in Planet fucking Fitness? What kind of shit is that?!

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But I think OP meant no singles, as in no 1 rep sets/1rms. If you lift the bar, you MUST do at least 2 reps or you're out, no warnings, no refunds.

don't worry boys i got this

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Omg that sounds like the worst gym haha imagine having a GF and working out with her haha shed probably be all lame and tell you how strong you are and how proud she is of your hard work haha

i got you, boys

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oops wrong reply, but
>based haha poster

disgraceful

well...
>>

based and checked

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owo

>no singles
Does this mean something I don't understand? Or is it really not allowed to be in this gym if you are not in a relationship?

Doubles you say?

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>gym priest accepts only protestants

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That makes no fucking sense. Gyms aren’t primarily social or sexual environments, they’re houses of iron, temples of self improvement

I think he means no 1rm.

war is bad don't do it

This happened to me too but i had a gf long ago and they actually tracked her down to ask questions about me.

I wonder whats the point of this relationship status to work meme lately

Check these^

>gym has penis inspection days

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whats the policy on threeways?

oh yes?
well watch this

...

They said it's for safety of the gym members.

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>literally tied me to the treadmill by my neck
what?

This isn't a gym you disgusting virgin, now get out!

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Fuck...What technique should I use to hide THESE then?

Hopefully they don't check these right here

b-but robert, i thought you were my friend...

Quads

I found this image on the floor when I was leaving my bench one day at the [lifting] temple. I'm lucky enough to go to an all-Catholic gym. (Thank G-d)

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that's too bad.

No doubles huh?

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i better leave then

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no doubles? oh shit because

I bet you are a good boy.

>no doubles policy
Wtf ? Then what am i supposed to do with these

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Do you mean no 1rm or no lifting alone? Either one is theoretically a safety measure, but the latter is pretty extreme.

This is the worst dubs thread I've ever seen

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Am I fucked?

What?

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HOLY SHIT PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR SCRIPT

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BASED

Nice dubs, check out these

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Dumb Nadeshikoposter

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The curse is lifted!

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Wait. What's the minimum number of reps then? Three?

>have the United States fucking Army call up your first gf because you're too afraid to talk to her again
Should I do it?

based

>should I ask Chad to be my wingman?
No, because Chad is gonna steal your girl.

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>Chad
>implying it won't be some black woman behind the phone
What's the worst that can happen? She'll get the call and say "wtf he wasn't my boyfriend, we were just kids anyway" haha...

Hey im new to this gym and lifting in general can i come in

>gym kitchen has no meat because the gym vegans stole it all and threw it away
>all thats left is tofu and edamame

Our gym has penis id scanners and it can tell if you're a virgin or not and if you're cut or not... The result is also shown on a big ass screen with your name and age that everyone can see. Really fucking embarrassing lads.