So Jow Forums, I took a bunch of tests with my therapist and she says I have borderline personality disorder.
Now call me an retard but I didn't think BPD was something guys could have. I don't really know what to do with this information, as the therapist was like "I don't think I can help you" so ummm...
Do any of you mongoloids have experience with BPD?
Pic unrelated, buxom dark-skinned is the ultimate high test
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You're going to have a lot of therapists tell you that they can't help you because no one knows how the fuck to handle BPD. I have nothing constructive to say except good luck.
just a complex way to say you are trash
there's plenty out there, you will feel at home
I'm not surprised, user. Thanks brother.
Yeah I know, online dating has been a feeding frenzy...it makes more sense now. Haha thanks for your kind words
Ex fiance had it - child incest survivor.
If true either work your ass off with therapy, or just save yourself and everyone who cares about you the suffering and kill yourself.
BPD "people" are cancer.
Can I ask why it didn't work out between you and your ex? The usual BPD bullshit? Cause you proposed, must have seen something of value
I have BPD too. I don't tell anyone because it drives people away. I'm afraid of hurting people I care about; but more afraid of the fact that whenever I tell people, it seems they define me by my BPD. If I get mad, it's because of my BPD. If I get sad, it's because of my BPD. They just assume that's always the answer. I want to be able to actually talk to someone without thinking they will leave me, or that their opinion of me will be affected negatively. It messes with my head, and I've been violent and abusive at times because of it. The sad thing is, I'd rather have people think I'm violent with a short temper than have them stigmatize me and my disorder.
Not him, but I'm BPD is complicated. On your "highs", you seem very well-adjusted and charismatic. People who've only seen me like that think I'm a socially gifted Chad and love me.
She refused to go to counseling, quit drinking, doing drugs, stealing money, cheating, lying, abusing and intermittently destroying the apartment/trying to burn it down.
Sucks, I really loved her and wanted to see her get better.
Yikes. Sorry that had to happen, you can't always help those you love the most.
>withholding medically relevant information from people because it might give them a chance to escape being abused
Borderlines, everyone.
I know what you mean by the "highs." Feels like you can do anything and then you actually do it somehow. Basically unstoppable when dating despite having qualities that might be disqualifying, good shit when I can catch that wave and not overthink.
I know it's wrong, but I try to work around it. If I feel myself getting to that point, I try to remove myself from the situation. It's difficult because people keep forcing me to keep arguing with them instead of dropping it. Some people see me getting agitated and keep pushing, because they stopped arguing about the actual topic and decided they would rather intentionally piss me off (by their own admission, usually after they realize they were wrong, but too proud to drop it). They know how I get when mad; whether they know about my BPD or not, but they'd rather just needle me and put themselves in harm's way, when I am actively trying to remove myself
Plenty of guys have BPD, despite what the stereotypes will tell you.
You need to find a good psych with experience in DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) - that's the treatment with the most evidence in helping people with DBT
Is there anyway to get help for it cheaply? I'm a poorfag with no insurance for now, but I want to fix it enough to ask my gf to marry me and maintain good relationships with people.
Yeah, it just sucks that the longer you know the person you're dating, the more they see this bad side of you/you can't hide it as much.
It's how I lost my last long-term GF haha oh well I'll get her back (or not) we'll see. Pretty sure she's undiagnosed BPD but who knows (good luck getting black women to therapy)
Bump for help
Did you ever get violent?
>BPD
Practice meditation/relaxation and find a hobby you can focus on. It's important for dealing with life and having healthy socialization. You can't change BPD but you can be mindful of the fact that you're different. Being calm and collected will make your life and others' easier.
Bpd isnt a thing
Neither one of us got violent, she said I emotionally abused so that's always fun. Wbu? How about your past relationships?
How old were you guys and what do you both do for work?
> I took a bunch of tests
user, you're supposed to take test. Singular.
Fucking retard
I'm embarrassed to say because your situation seems so mild compared to mine. I'd be the doting affectionate boyfriend most of the time, but my abusive behavior came in spurts; so I might be sexually, physically, or emotionally abusive/violent all in a short period of time. I've had nervous breakdowns in front of gfs where id become extremely violent, but I've never gone after a girl with the intent to hit her. However, in that state, I've pushed girls if they were getting between me and something. On the other hand, if I feel bursts of aggression during sex, I might start randomly choking a girl, push her head deep into a pillow, slam her head against the floor/headboard, etc. but they'll usually want to be coddled after sex, and I'll oblige willingly. I also realized I get worse the more I see the flaws in whoever I'm dating. I've had girls tell me they're afraid to be less than perfect around me. Forced sex and sexual violence has also been a problem for me, I feel disgusted writing this now, but emotions/horniness gets the better of me in the heat of the moment. The details are something im not comfortable writing. I'm less physically and emotionally violent with my current gf, but she's beautiful, kind, and perfect; so I genuinely love her, and am trying hard to keep in control. She says some days she feels like I love her more than anything in the world; but on others, she feels like I hate her and want to hurt her. She said she gets scared because she doesn't know who I'll be that day. She has let me do things to her because she loves me, and sees it as her duty/ being a good gf. Part of the problem is that everyone sees us as a perfect happy couple, and 95% of the time, we are. That 5% is dangerous, and we are both afraid I'll go off the rails completely one day and severely damage her.
(responding to if can't afford therapy user) Having been through years of DBT, you can get pretty far on your own if you're willing to comit to it. Obviously it's better to go through the whole process, with individual and group therapy, but it can still benefit you on your own.
I'd recommend this workbook: amazon.com
Unfortunately, BPD, like all personality disorders, can't be cured or really even treated: you can only manage it. With patience and practice you can begin to live a fairly healthy life, but it can never be fully cured: it's always a struggle.
t. Mental illness fag, not a therapist
This. Social science is the biggest cancer ever put on this earth. ADD/HD, depression, anxiety, etc. All such bullshit.
> it's from a chemical imbalance in the brain!
> We don't need a lab test to tell..just trust us you have a chemical imbalance
> And despite not doing any sort of chemical analyses....
> We know exactly how much of what chemicals will fix the imbalance so now
> popthesepills.jpg
And people actually buy into this bullshit.
Not op, but thanks a lot for this post. I'll look into those books.
NPD/BPD pairings work best my friend.
To balance out your life and enjoy a healthy relationship, you need a partner with NPD that complements your own temperament.
Same I have a girl I love, an yeah she can be scared at times to share her feelings thinking I'll get mad at her, an some days are amazing. An yeah longterm u can't hide these things, you seem to be more physical than me tho, I am more mental causing and mind playing, or u just have it worse than me an I haven't entered that stage yet, I know girls I would date just to fuck ya I would be more mean and demanding and get what I wanted but I didn't like physically hurt them bad.
Sometimes people who really are suffering from trauma/complex PSTD get misdiagnosed as BPD. This is according to Richard Grannon.
Try to find out if you might just have trauma/complex PTSD from abuse.
I believe when I was a kid I got diagnosed by multiple people as BPD. I had a good therapist at one point after seeing multiple therapists but my psychopathic family manipulated me to stop seeing him. Keep in mind I was really young like 4 or 5 years old.
Keep looking for a therapist who is willing to try.
Also don't do what I did throughout most of my life (i'm 26 btw) which was distract myself 24/7 with shit like videogames. Spend time alone thinking about your life. The more time you spend the better. Spend time in introspection.
Good advice about introspection, thank you bro I'll try to follow it
This is fucking horrible advice. Stay away from narcissists and psycho/sociopaths
Read C-PTSD From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker.
>bad person disorder
OH NO NO NO
No, he's right. Once you disclose certain mental illness you get put in a box, when in reality pretty much all of the population has various mental issues that they don't know about.
"The Psychopath Test" is a fun read on the topic, although devoid of any scientific value.
Don't put overmedication in the hands of social science you fucking mong, we didn't develop the brain altering pills or the electroshock therapy
>doesn't know what a personality disorder is
wew lad