Realistically speaking, what's the biggest animal a Jow Forumsizen could actually beat?

lmao i train bjj and was a ncaa wrestler in high school.

i bench 3 plates and deadlift 500lbs+

if i survive the first charge and get hold of a some fucking bear i'll def choke the shit out of it. lion probably too just gotta watch its head. i think i could only be realistically challenged by a tiger and maybe elk if they're flexible to gorge me with their antlers.

in college i meant. in high school i did nationals though

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Grizzlies are 650lbs (but can get bigger) so you can't deadlift your way out of this one, sport.

A gorilla is only 350lbs so you could probably deadlift a gorilla.

I know a guy who was a very succesful hammer thrower (track and field event) who killed a cow by accident with the hammer. He was practicing near a field with cows and made a mistake.

i dont need to deadlift the entire fucking animal i just need to deadlift its neck until it snaps.

Good troll. You'd last 30 seconds max with any of them, Inferior in every way.

A big dog is maybe 100 lbs, that's an extremely generous estimate, and they have strong jaws.
So they're basically really small, weird shaped guys with strong jaws. If some weird 100 lb guy came up to you and tried to start shit you'd probably laugh, so just don't be afraid of a dog in the same way.
The whole trick is to let them bite down on a less needed limb, like a leg or a non-dominant arm, and just start punching them in their stupid fucking face. Give them dog brain damage. Knock the dog out, and move on with your life.
Now turn to page 125 where I will explain how to knock a woman or smaller man unconscious with a bicycle.

Tiger: up to 300kg, rarely over 3,1m (tail to head)
Grizzly: up to 680kg and 3m (tail to head)

Yeah okay man. You would be mauled to death by a fucking wild boar you cunt

This ape probably

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sad. Yeah I don't think my uncle is a nice dude, he made it like the cow was going to charge him or something but it seemed like it was just minding its business and he wanted to seem macho.
He also loses thousands a year betting on chicken and dog fights with the mexicans in his town in bumfuck idaho.

have you ever even seen a bear attack, they just roar a bit and try to scare you before striking with their arms.

like i said im not sure but im pretty certain if i block the initial punch and either get its neck or get the armbar i can get the bear into submission.

i said i can't beat a tiger but probably a lion.

brutal

>On June 12th of 1877 the Morris party set out to kill a large black bear that had been killing cattle. Upon discovering it Morris told his youngest son to head back home and tell his mother and sisters to get ready to clean it. Upon returning one hour later he found all six men dead

>The Morris' black bear was pursued for nearly 2 years by the surviving son. In May of 1879 his quarry was found in a cave south of Ridgewater. His party of five engaged the bear inside the cave believing the confined space would give them the advantage. The youngest Morris and two of his party were slain almost immediately. The bear pursued Lance Craman and Diego Malais for two hours before finally claiming Diego when he succumbed to exhaustion. Lance Craman survived by diving into rapids and being carried away. He reported that despite remarkable speed he appeared to be traveling in the water he would still see the bear stalking him for some time.

>block bear hit
did you ever fight with anything?

>>In June of 1880 a bear believing to be the Morris' black bear entered into Wymoor Southington. The local sheriff Samuel Hirsch shot the bear 12 times, reporting that it seemed "unaffected" before chasing the man up a tree. It left but not before claiming the lives of two dogs. A child went missing the same day, a connection to the bear was never proven and no body ever recovered.

if I got the upper hand early I could definitely take a wolf

Holy mother of based

That’s not a bear attack, that’s a bear just trying to scare you. If a bear wanted to hurt you it would look something like the Revenant.
youtube.com/watch?v=GOlVRHsVzE4&app=desktop
Grizzlies can outrun Usain Bolt and try to knock you down, then they bite and claw at you while pinning you down.

It’s like the Beast of Gevaudan of bears goddamn.
And a black bear too, those guys are shy and tiny

Sauce?

dude if the claws even touch you with the weight a bear carries you'd be carrying wounds like 6 inches deep.

Check it out this retard thinks he could take a bear

>Grizzlies are 650lbs

When they're born, sure.

lmao bro thats obviously CGI. and at 0:19 I could've easily taken its arm straight out its socket thereby saving myself from most of the damage he took after that

God I love how deluded you shut-ins are

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you guys watched too much hollywood shit liket that dude quoting the reverand.

>the reverand

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I would bet everything i have on you getting mauled within 30 seconds by a grizzly if it wanted you dead. What are you taking to think so highly of yourself? i'd like some.

Giraffe. If I can get on it's back I can choke it out.

>I’m pretty certain if I block the initial punch
>initial punch
You mean the final blow

Probably a large dog provided I can get at its neck before it can chew me to shit.
>but probably a lion.
Lions are the one cat designed for fighting fampai, you'd leave this world screaming.

You might be able to take a cougar. Might.

A wolf, cougar or an emaciated black bear. Any Jow Forumsizen should outweigh those by a decent margin, so you'd have a decent chance. Still very possible to fuck up and die though. Said animals know it too, so they rarely attack adult males unless they're desperate.

i think i have a better chance with the bigger cats because theyre slower. again i want to emphasize the strategy is to dodge/sidestep the initial blow and then grapple the animal until it dies. a light quick cat might be too jumpy.

ive actually watched a lot of documentaries and they seem to be pretty bad 1v1 because they are social animals. thats why they'd be easier than tigers.

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A horse, no bucket required

>That's why they's be easier than tigers..

That's not why

>bigger means slower

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boy you are fucking retarded

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fpbp

most underrated post ive ever seen

based

fuck you

this right ehre
/thredad

no kid, it would fuck you

Sides are in low orbit atm

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fantastic post

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>less needed limb

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Id say any carnivore over 80lbs were fucked and any herbivore that weighs more than your bw were fucked

Grizzlies are like 1300lbs dude

A cougar would fucking maul the shit out of you dude, all these predators are literally designed to fight other apex predators for mates.

Unarmed? A big dog. Like fuck man, there's fighting dogs that weigh up to 100lbs. Those aren't even wild animals and they'll easily kill most adult men.

Fucking hell man. Bears are absolute units.

there are videos of skinny drugged up niggers beating pit bulls to death, maybe caucasian shephards are impossible to kill yourself but most dogs are easy to kill, just give them one of your wrists to bite and then throw them to the fucking concrete and then stomp their rib cage

a gorilla can benchpress up to two tons

I recently went to a zoo-esque museum where they had almost all apex predators from the Americas and I've come to these conclusions:

>Coyote:
Maybe 1 definitely not 2+
>Wild African Dog:
I would die
>Hyena:
It would eat me in 30 seconds
>Panther
Not a chance
>Puma
I'm dead
>Jaguar
It would kill me faster than anything on this list
>Lion
Definitely would die
>Bobcat
This is the only cat I could maybe kill. It's pretty much the size of a big house cat, but it would still fuck me up.
>Caracal
Same as the bobcat. Maybe.
>Cheetah
They are skinny fucks, but if they can drag a Zebra into a tree they could easily eat me
>Grizzly Bear:
Kill me in 1 swipe
>Gorilla
I would maybe die of a heart attack before it even hit me
>Hippo
It would kill me for fun
>Alligator/Crocodile
Obviously would kill me
>Wolf
These fuckers are so smart it would definitely kill me

It's one thing seeing predators on camera, but in person, it's literally terrifying. The jaguars were so fucking big it was scary. Also, some bitch brought her dog near the cheetah enclosure and they went fucking nuts. The dog shit itself it was so scared. All the big cats are instinctual killing machines, I would never fuck with them ever.

dogs or any canid that size might not be as hard but good luck trying to kill a similar sized feline like a leopard when they can carry a 300kg baby giraffe several meters up a tree

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This guy knows what's up.
If you underestimate these absolute units you WILL die.

Kek, here's a (you)

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That's because we are man. We use our a brain to beat beasts. Can kill any of these mother fuckers if I wanted to.

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Questions like these are usually pretty dumb because humans obviously can't fight off predators on their own. Mongaloids who think they could kill a lion or a bear on their own would be killed within seconds because that's not how humans work. We're an intelligence build. Those predators are built to live on their own and kill prey with nothing more than their natural assets (teeth, claws, etc.). Humans are social animals that hunt in groups and with tools they've crafted from their environment. To pit a human with no tools against an animal with tools built in is just plain stupid. Humans evolved to be able to craft sharp weapons like knives and spears, that's why we don't have claws and fangs. Not allowing humans to use weapons and saying "just your arms and legs brah." is like putting someone against a jaguar but the jaguar can't have its teeth or claws and its eyes have been sewn shut. If a weapon is human made, then a human should be allowed to use it, that's what we've evolved to do.

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>All apex predators from the Americas
>List has gorillas, hippoes, and lions
>List does not have orcas

What a garbage place LOL

funny I had cows in my back yard and I have seen then take a kick from other cows and not get knocked out.

your uncle is a fat old diabetic shithead and a liar

I could beat multiple at once of any animal on earth. Humans are the dominant species for a reason, and Samuel Colt certainly made sure of it.

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If you were in life-or-death mode, you could injure a cougar by slamming it into the ground (they're strong but not that heavy, males are in the low 100s and females are lighter) or grabbing a limb and breaking it. You'd likely die from blood loss but a decent-sized strong man would have a fair chance unless it was a huge cougar- probably the only big cat other than a cheetah where you'd have >5% odds. The weight would be a big factor though, something bigger like a jaguar would destroy you.
Same strategy with a medium-large dog or single wolf, unless they get your throat, in which case you're boned.
I'm generally in agreement, but you could take a cheetah. They rely on chasing down defenseless prey, and are so lithe that the above tactics would work better than on something stockier (like a leopard) that's adapted to prey that fights back.

Turns to page 125

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someone already said your mom user

Uhm, I might be able to deal with a bobcat, caracal, or serval. Ocelots shouldn't be much of a problem.

Yea I keep a loaded .357 when I'm hunting just in case of coyotes. Those fuckers are bigger than most dogs and meaner, although they almost always avoid humans since we shoot them on sight. My friend hunts up north and keeps a .464 for a bear attack, need a bigger round for that obviously.

Coyotes are designed for hunting small animals and are barely the size of a medium dog. A physically fit man would easily be able to take on a single coyote, probably even two at a time.

Anyone who thinks they could defeat a big cat, ape, bear, or canine larger than a golden retriever is a total retard.
If an aggressive Rottweiler attacked you, you’d be lucky to walk away with your life. Anything bigger and you’re fucked. And everyone saying you could bash a predator’s skull in with your fists is kidding themselves, these fuckers have skulls more than half an inch thick and a lot less brain to damage compared to a human.

>TURNS TO PAGE 125!

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