Post two positive and negative qualities about yourself

>no one cares
>no one cares
But
>no one cares
>no one cares

>charismatic
>viewed as one of the most revered people in my family
But
>criminally good liar and manipulator
>hate myself because of it
>somehow terrified of dating

>Great at anything i apply myself to.
>Confidant alpha personality without having to shame or belittle others.

>Asocial as fuck to a fualt
>lazy as shit

Self-appreciation is an important thing, user. Surely you have two things you are proud of.

>disciplined, do what needs to be done, rarely give in to temptation
>smart, or at least a hard on the studies and pick up on things quickly

>frequently have to catch myself on bragging about myself. I hate myself for trying to sneak in little ups on people. My father is brilliant but an absolute strong and humble man who I aspire to be like. I am doing better and I’d like to land the finishing blow on my ego
>have slowly become austistic since freshman year at uni, rarely go out with friends and spend free time hermitting and mostly training

Sounds like you have potential. Do you often take advantage of people? Or are you good at manipulating but also hate it?

Strengths
>Knowlegable
>Good work ethic
>Good taste in general
>Assertive

Weaknesses
>BPD/NPD traits. Fear of abandonment, belief that something is fundamentally wrong with me even though I'm really quite fine as a person, Disturbed sense of identity
>Narrsasistic belief that I'm wiser than those around me
>poor eye contact
It doesn't really affect anyone but myself. Even though I'm surrounded by people I feel very alone. I long for a GF but I know that I only want one to put a bandaid where my sense of self should be and to stick my dick in.

>extremely empathic
>above average motivation
BUT
>autistic to a fucking fault
>afraid of success

Mental:
+ Charismatic.
- NPC-like parroting sometimes.

Physical:
+ Face (have been complimented by strangers and plastic surgeons).
- Ugly feet.

>terrible with women
Wish I could help you, but I'm not sure if the advice of someone who has no problems interacting with women, but never had a girlfirend matters.

>Judgemental
What helped me is judging my flaws first before criticizing others'.
>Don't listen.
What?

You caring is enough.

I hate when I do it, and I dont mean the small things. I'm fine with getting people to do little things here and there, but when it severely detriments them it bothers me. Often? Nah. More than I should? Definitely.

>smart enough that when i try to express my academic and professional history people get insecure
>genuinely have comedian-tier social observation skills, make 9/10s laugh and go out with me despite being a warhammer-level autist

BUT

>full to the brim of sperg tendencies, some people assume i'm just another "smart but lazy" fedoralord until they spend enough time around me to get that i'm genuinely smart and have the academic/professional accomplishments to back that up
>only truly dedicated myself to physical fitness december of last year, am still skinnyfat

it could be worse, i have bright green eyes that catch attention and last night i saw a girl's gaze continue down to my chest/arms which are beginning to show that i'm better off than a neverlift. not quite a mire but i'm getting to the point where normies are gonna start asking. still months and months out from posting in cbt and expecting anything other than >pajeet tho

>BPD/NPD traits

the fact that you're aware of it and willing to communicate it in an emotionally neutral state means you most likely don't have either

but i empathize in a big way on the fear of abandonment and disturbed sense of identity, i go from mr. rogers to "that sex was borderline abusive, user" in a few hours flat

all that shit is definitely tied to the poor eye contact, i'm beginning to feel like one will correct the other and vice versa. you have to let people see you for what you are long enough that you don't have any other out than to be honest with yourself about every dimension of your being at once.

we're gonna make it bro, its okay

>I'm funny
>I've gotten more confident
BUT
>hypocrite
>my new confidence has also birthed a ridiculous rage
Right now I can control it, but I'm afraid that something might just make me snap in the future

>good at piano
>dedicated

>have a bunch of problems
>never feel proud of any accomplishments

>driven when working on a task at hand
>good at learning when passionate
>lazy without structure
>fear of failure

>tolerant
>wise

>narcissistic
>autism

Attached: Untitled154.png (1856x533, 328K)

> Smart
> Good physique
> Considered charismatic
> Succeed at whatever I decide I want to succeed in
But
> 6-7/10 face at best
> Undisciplined
> Borderline personality disorder traits (have been a legitimate danger to others)
> Short temper
> Refuse to open up to others
>go from mr. rogers to "that sex was borderline abusive, user" in a few hours flat
I also do this, my eye contact is fine though, and has gotten much better since I made an effort to fix it. I just get so angry sometimes, especially towards women. I feel like never getting female attention until I changed physical aspects about myself contributed to that.

>intelligent (133IQ)
>Hard working
but
>Get bored easily and give up
>Have trouble talking to and trusting anyone, even my own family.
Probably going to end up dying a virgin as I can't talk to women at all.

>witty and charming
>not afraid of putting in the work

>impulse control and addiction issues
>black out rage

nice blog

yeah sounds like we have a lot in common as late bloomers (with a shitty mother, i assume?)

you can't project the women you used to know onto the women you know today, and you just have to accept that people value shallow things. you're alone and you always will be, no matter how many people you gather around you or how much they suck your dick.

i know that's a lot easier said than done, though, i'm still navigating it myself

>always willing to learn
>can make people laugh

>too much self hatred
>too avoidant

Serious question bros, how do i fix my avoidant personality? im tired of missing shit because i'm scared of failure.

Attached: 1521263766332-0.png (711x633, 192K)

>Spent enough time discovering hidden meanings in reality to know the true value of philanthropy and goodwill
>Have enough money and free time to benefit tens of thousands

BUT

>Aiming to help millions
>Barely outrunning a nihilistic black hole

I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter if I personally expedite a brighter future for anyone but myself. I think it would just make me feel better waiting to die if I helped a small community of like minded people enjoy their wait as well.

>"Honest to a fault" as my First Sgt put it
>Have finally come to the conclusion I am handsome

BUT

>No idea of what I want to be when I grow up... I'm 24
>No real hobbies outside of reading, vidya, and gym.

I'm talented and hot

However I'm also shy and a loner

Attached: giphy (5).gif (245x120, 983K)

>Intelligent
>attractive, 8/10 to 8.5/10
But
>Manlet tier, 5'8
>Renders all accomplishments physical, academic, and fiscal unimpressive in my own mind by comparison to total Chad father

>
>

BUT

> Can't find anything good about my self
> Full sperg

I know the "smart but lazy" trope is memed to death but it's genuinely real. It stems from gifted students not being challenged at all in schooling, leading them to underachieve/misbehave. The work is too easy for them and they end up not giving a flying fuck.

The good thing is, work ethic can be changed. I'm in uni right now and I'm still a procrastinating piece of shit, but I know I can change for the better.

>funny
>love learning
>starting own business
>lift weights, do cardio, meditate often
>eat healthy, take nootropic and adaptogens daily
but
>isolated myself for 2 years and now feel irrational tension/fear around people

I fard
but
I shid

>tall and broad
>pleasant demeanor
but
>overweight
>lack motivation for everything but the gym

>optimistic to a fault, see the good in everything
>always try to get friends going through a slump to turn it all around
However
>my optimism often leads to me getting stepped on or seen as an easy target
>have a complete lack of social awareness around folks I don't know too well, meaning dating is non existent

>won facial genetic lottery
>good at motivating and being there for bro's
>my autism is contained on the internet, doesn't spill out into real world
But,
>not much self motivation, start something and abandon it very quickly, repeat
>terrible trust issues, so I only have one real friend I can trust, kind of
>anger issues
Bonus:
>browsed 4chins for years

Attached: 1429906087826.jpg (1024x751, 319K)

>Intelligent and visionary, but still relatively sensible and pragmatic.
>Polite, honest, organized, and conscientious

>Very neurotic. GAD, panic, OCD, hypochondria, etc. Self-doubting and over-analyzing to the point of paralysis. Neuroticism causes moodiness and bursts of anger.
>Related to the above, my outward appearance is muted, anxious, and weird. I am not charismatic at all. At best I can come across as polite, calm, and easy-going.

Attached: 1542130989151.jpg (750x733, 66K)

same

>I empathize well
>I am resilient both mentally and physically
But
>Not as strong work ethic as I would like
>I finish other peoples sentences

>I finish other peoples sentences
You must be either very intelligent or very cringy to do so.

>49546559
I've been through quite a bit of therapy, the therapist didn't think that I was BPD when I explained my symptoms but then again I didn't get the chance to explain everything that goes on in my head. He had a much better time believing that I had some sort of narcissism but nothing NPD/BPD. either way, I tend to disagree with him, if I hadn't had all this therapy there's no way I would've been able to notice half of my pathological behaviors. At the end of the day though all I can do is to be conscious of my patterns and try and reverse them

It goes hand in hand with the empathy thing. People don't hate me too much so it's not bad enough to really isolate me, but I strongly believe I would be better off not doing it.

fuck I have a bad habit of doing that. At work I know exactly what someone will say and if they can never find the word I just say it myself and finish their sentence.