/MIRE THREAD/ boys, post your boner inducing stories
>walk into the same LA fitness I've been going to for 3 years >notice new qt pie receptionist >she scans my keycard >her eyes widen and she goes "holy shit" >quickly realize that my picture on the computer hasn't been updated since i began as a 265 fat fuck >"holy shit user that used to be you? You look amazing now wow.." >I continue my way to the gym with one ear muffled by my headphones blasting gojira >swiftly turn my head and actively avoid eye contact >"haha yea that's me" >continue into the gym >go take a fat shit in the gym bathroom and don't flush
>>go take a fat shit in the gym bathroom and don't flush based and redpilled
Alexander Sanchez
This kid's face is unsettling. I kinda wish I had an excuse to wear brimmed hats all the time though
Cooper Baker
had an opposite mire
>ex-girlfriend staying at mine on the weekends >she comments that I have a little too much fat on me atm >say that I'm trying to bulk "you gotta eat heavy to get heavy" >she says "you don't need to bulk, different people have different body types, you should just stay lean"
So yeah, not making it at the moment lads
Sebastian Fisher
Your not making it because your ex girlfriend is still in your life, move on idk if she fucks you she’s doing these shot testing mind fucks like calling u fat anyway
Joshua Johnson
she sounds like a bitch and you sound like a desperate loser for keeping her around
Anthony Howard
Millennia of inbreeding. Holy fuck.
Grayson Morales
literally based and redpilled. dub palindrome quads confirm. kick her ass out of your life, she's an ex for a reason
Sebastian Richardson
shes retarded t.woman(male)
Gabriel Roberts
>ex-girlfriend She wants you to fail because she doesn't want you to have a better life without her.
Christopher Walker
How do I ask out a girl I haven’t seen in years? I’m a senior in college and we haven’t seen each other since senior year of HS but we would talk every once in a while on Snapchat.
>Cutting last year >Wife walks into the bathroom while I’m in the shower >she opens up the curtain to ask me a question and pauses >I turn my head and she’s just staring at my abs and crotch >You don’t know the look of pure lust on a woman’s face until it happens >Immediately takes her clothes off, steps in, and throats my dick while masturbaring with one hand and touching my stomach with the other >She cums immediately after I come >Fucking swallows, smiles, washes her hair for a bit, hugs me, and then steps out to dry off >mfw
Lmao i dont want picture. I just wanted you to describe her. Since you wont even do that now we know for sure shes either a fatass or ugly as fuck
Joshua White
>Break up with ex >Lifted throughout relationship but didn't really watch my diet at all. Strongfat >Cutting hard now. Beginning to look good >Girls all make extended eye contact, smile, I made one blush from across the bar at a parade thing on Sunday
Favorite part is that I went on a date Friday. >Kiss the girl at the end >5'1" petite Latina girl. Can't weigh more than 110. >Figure "fuck it" >Pick her up and keep making out >Hear her whimper moan >Just looks me dead in the eyes and goes "you're fucking strong." >Hold her up with one arm >Whispers into my ear that she wants to see if I can do it naked next time
Guys, I don't look good without a shirt yet, but I really want to bang this girl. She's like a human Fleshlight. I'm torn.
Don't be an insecure fag and do it. She's already impressed, girls don't expect arnold fucking schwarzenneger. Next time you're out take a look around you and see how many people actually look more muscular than you do, if you actually lifted it's gonna be a handful at most.
Isaac White
yea lol
Jordan Walker
you have to now bc of dubs post results
Levi Foster
i woulda said "hey anonette, you in town? let's catch up, im here for the break"
but this will do equally well, pls keep us posted god speed
Anthony Wilson
>be me >last week >snapping this girl >tells me her roommate is really pissing her off >it's like 2 am and she wants to go to bed, but her roommate is blaring music or something and cant sleep >"my door's always open if you dont want to deal with her bullshit" >5 minutes later she's on my doorstep, unannounced >stays the night, doesnt get much sleep anyway I fucking love college man, clapped cheeks after sending 5 snapchats max
>be me >contracted the flu (knew that's what I had) >finally go to urgent care >on the 5th day. >rapid flu test come back (Yea, I have it) >The nurse practitioner recommends a chest x-ray >I agree. >breathe out, breathe in, hold it, x-ray taken. >WOW, YOU'VE GOT LUNGS KiD (23 y/o) Just got lung mired.
Zachary Murphy
Last night:
>mate asks if he can "inspect the gains" >squeezes shoulder and chest (no homo) >says "holy shit user you're actually getting thicc" >"you're not a scrawny white guy anymore"
>be picking up site permit for work >office girl is new, I can tell because I’m here once every few weeks and haven’t seen her before >she smiles a lot >filling out forms, she asks for some random information >tells me shes having trouble getting us in the system >I’m in a hurry, so I write my cell number down on a sticky note and tell her I can be back in 45min if she’s still having trouble, and to give me a call >leave and go about my day, actually have quite a bit to do at job site >get a text at like 10pm >heyy >thisdoesntsoundprofessional.jpg >figure it’s the qt from the permit office >don’t respond >several days later get permit in mail >but have to go get another permit for another job >look who’s here again >this time she’s dressed to kill wearing skintight maxi skirt >go about business as usual >she asks why I never responded >”I’m sorry what” >tells me she tried to talk the other night >says sorry if im not available for that sort of thing >say sorry, she’s very cute, but I’m married >”no surprise there”
I hope this isn’t awkward from here on because I go there like 3 times a month at least
Mason Bennett
Dude just cheat on your wife lol
Kayden Morales
Do you think that jews hate everything that is beautiful because they themselves are ugly both inside and out?
Wyatt Garcia
Never going to make it
Gabriel Hernandez
>my door is always open haha >not just telling her to come over beta
Lucas Evans
Why are you being so formal?
"Hey, anonette, I'm back in town. Wanna hang out?"
Girls are shy and skittish, you're going to scare her away.
She's definitely not below me. More like I just got so used to my ex and not being appreciated that I forgot I was good at talking to girls. This girl is gorgeous and the whole time I basically was in my head thinking there was no way I was pulling this off. I'm excited; just don't want her to see my gut and get turned off.
It's the fat, user. But you're right; we the bar on Sunday I was the biggest guy there. Same with the place we went to eat Friday from what I remember.
Ethan Hernandez
are you actually married or was that just spaget spillage?
if you're married, flirt with her and keep her on the edge she'll get your shit done way faster if you're not married do the same because never dip your pen in company ink, not worth
Alexander Perez
While I litterally force myself on my wife under the shower because she keep evading from her duties...
Better than the full 13 years since I talked to this one girl from HS. Don't tell the wife because damn I wished I coulda found out if we might've had something.
Jayden Fisher
mate that line works every FUCKING time
Charles Taylor
Underrated post.
Christopher Green
Nope, I'd rather plow her without her consent like a good husband do that fuck others chicks, it make me so hard and last so long that it's a real torture for her.
Asian fag here. Got a haircut after work and stopped into a 7/11 still wearing my work clothes so i was looking pretty good. Cashier was a 20 something black girl and her white trash friend was there talking to her. They stopped talking when i got to the counter. Paid for my stuff and was walking away when i hear the black girl say "Mr. Ching Chong looking fine as hell". I lol'd.
Justin Foster
You're fucking illiterate lol
Thomas Ross
Don't rape your wife user...
Oliver Allen
Nice
Leo Hughes
made me smile
Isaiah Thomas
10/10
David Murphy
shiieeetm how fine a ching chong we talking here post yo picture
Justin Myers
Based
Isaac Cox
Congrats on making it(TM)
Bentley Morris
Don’t do it. If you don’t look good without a shirt just give me her number. Doesn’t matter if you’re strong, she calls you daddy, and whimpers in your arms. If you don’t have a lean six pack she will btfo full Sahara.
Jaxon Bell
Do it. Even if this doesn’t pan out, going for it is making it tier.
Wyatt Ward
Alpha. Tell us more.
Ethan Price
>>I continue my way to the gym with one ear muffled by my headphones blasting gojira >>swiftly turn my head and actively avoid eye contact >>"haha yea that's me" the autism of a true Jow Forumsizen
>some party coming up in uni >2 grills are selling tickets sitting at a table >I walk past and one of them says: "Hey, you should come, there will be a lot of girls there." >the other one goes: "Yea, I'll be there" >say I'll think about it >obviously don't end up going and do my usual shit like browse this chinese natural remedy forum >a few weeks later, realize I got mired and one girl wanted to see me at that party and I probably had a chance with her >and that's why I'm still a virgin at 23
Not trying to throw salt in ya game, pimp, but she was probably trying to sell you a ticket. You did, however, fuck up by not going to that party to socialize and BANG. You're in uni. Don't be an outsider or it'll be highschool all over again.
Oh I just realized if that girl trying to sell you the ticket was uggo she was definitely trying to bang you, I just assumed she was a stacey.
dunno man, it's not like she makes any money from those tickets, it's some uni organized shit. She was like a 7/10, def not ugly, wouldn't call her a stacey tho
Aaron Martin
>Be me, recovering /fat/fuck, going to HIIT 6 days a week >Lots of progress in past 4 months, decide to by slick new compression leggings and trainers >HIIT club is filled with stacys and wheyfus during morning classes, some times im the only guy there >Decide to put a sock in my underwear with my leggings. >These women have no shame, eyes glued to my 'package', practically drooling/grooling >Play it off like im a naive autist, only looking at myself, or ceiling while making sure the junk is fully visual by stretching or spreading my legs. >These women coincidentally start complaining about their boyfriends/husbands >'user, I never realized how B I G you are' >They begin touching my forearms and shoulders because of my autistic idea
Not sure how long this charade is gonna last but it does feel good
>be at rehearsal then wedding >I catch the cutest girl I've ever seen eyeing me >We play eye tag back and forth all night >I catch her mirin me literally 50 times
I'll never see her again and I want to fucking scream. Girls look at me often but this girl seemed pretty wholesome and sweet, and borderline infatuated. I can physically feel my heart ache today fuck me.
