Tell me what troubles you and I will do my best to console you and offer my best advice

Tell me what troubles you and I will do my best to console you and offer my best advice.

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well what troubles me is my complete and total hatred for life and existence
everything that lives should die

Everything that lives does die though, user.

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I've been socially retarded most of my life, but decided to use my crippling social anxiety for good now.

>always am nice and understanding with service workers
>compliment people in non lewd ways
>when hugging people, give very nice and comfy hugs
>always act genuine, not fake happy just can't have genuine anger
>can tell if people are uncomfortable, disengage in non embarrassing ways so other person doesn't have to be tortured with conversation
>make non vapid observations and small talk
>always open for spontaneous things, don't take life too seriously

Problem is, normies are still torture to deal with. They have no sense of empathy, don't care if others are uncomfortable, relish in talking about themself, get angry at the smallest things, and repeat the same boring things over and over with no original thought.
Am I autistic, or is the world retarded?

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It's good you make an effort to be polite and courteous. The difficult part can be realizing you are not owed courtesy in turn. Remember that you're a single unconscious decision from behaving exactly like those unconscious and uncaring proles you're so upset with, and perhaps, some of them too are trying not be unkind.

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I want OP in particular to be my gf. what do?

She lives in another dimension, sorry.

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there is no advice to give me and I cannot be consoled. Goodnight

I'm severely socially autistic and inept, uncontrollably, but there is nothing I can do about it anymore because I've already driven everyone away.

That's the thing, I dunno if I really have unconscious decisions. At least, not like bad ones? I just do too much personal inventory on my actions, everything tends to be a deliberate act on my part. Why can't others do the same? It's not that hard and saves so much trouble and misunderstanding.

The faults of others are easy to see. Yours are easy to miss, user. Being 'good' isn't a conclusion. You need to constantly word towards it.

Are you sure there is nothing you can do? What is it you want out of life?

Not OP but Im the same way. Most people arent like you describe, I think, its just the assholes stand out the most. You could have 10 people be civil with you but it only takes 1 asshole to ruin your day.

Could you recommend me something good to watch?

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What do you usually enjoy? What genre? Movies or TV shows?

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Im pretty open to anything, TV shows, anime or movies. I watch a lot of action, comedies, westerns, dramas. Yesterday I watched the new Jojo episode and hang em high.

I just got diagnosed with HIV

Try Baccano. It's a short series set during Prohibition about assorted thugs, thieves, gangster, mafiosos, killers, and criminals unwittingly and unknowingly caught in the struggle for the Elixir of Immortality which has been mistaken for booze. Objectively the best dub job of all time.

HIV is treatable. Now is as good a time as any to assess what you want out of life.

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I want to be happy and healthy, I want to graduate and reach my potential, I want to find someone to be with, I want to find myself, I want to set the people free from the lies.

I'M SO LONELY AND HORNY
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Being healthy starts with self care. You should set out meal plans and gauging you dietary intake. Make a shopping list tailored to your dietary needs and the very basics. If your poor look into SNAP programs.

Set aside time every day without fail to study whatever it is your working on in school. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Go out more to group activities and meet people. This increases your chance of meeting a romantic partner 100x fold.

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Thanks! Ive heard of Baccano before but never tried watching it. Theres some strong Lupin vibes from it, I dig it.

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Right now I'm just trying to take things one day at a time, my dad is helping me to eat better but says I should also eat anything I want to get my weight up, it's very hard for me to eat. I am studying every day but it's going to get a lot harder because of this diagnosis and my depression. I don't know if I'm emotionally ready to meet new people right now.

Make an actual list of things you want to accomplish, small things, every single day. At the beginning of the week make a list of things you want to accomplish that week so on and so forth. Dedicate a small amount of time to each day towards you little goals.

There is no real 'cure' for depression. It's a spiritual malaise that stays with you forever. The best thing you can do is carry on as best you can. Expecting motivation or good feelings to 'lift you' out of a mood will never ever happen if you wait for them to find you.

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There is this girl I like but I don't know if i REALLY like her, like for some reason I cant view her sexually but I just want to hug her and kiss her and protect her

Sounds like you might care for her and just really want to see her do well. Is there something about her that makes you like her so much?

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Everybody ik is in a relationship (even a neckbeard) and I'm the only single.

Is this a sign?

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Do you only want to be in a relationship because everyone else is? What have you actually done to meet new people?

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Even tho this isn't for me, I'm kinda in the same situation as user and you really helped me out. This is probably the best way to stop being a piece of shit really. I want to get a good gpa so that the university I want to apply in accepts me. I want to make my mother proud by being good at the sport she teaches but I fail to... You know it's hard you trainer being your mom and also a big name in the industry lo... I want to get a better body because right now I'm skinny as fuck. It's all so much on me and I always end up doing nothing about any three of these. The semester is coming to an end and my gpa is probably half the one I was going for. But that advice probably will stay, and I hope it actually helps... Thanks user!!

Tbh, I do want and don't want a relationship.
I do because everybody seems so happy together and I seem to be missing out.
However I'm too beta and I have a dreadful fealing that I'll be dumped in less than a week becuase ik I'm too scared to actually make a move (Kiss or something to that manner) I'm not a kissless or hugless virgin, Just a normal one.
In summery I wish I had a relationship but I'm too scared of one.

I'm glad you found that helpful. Sometimes looking at the 'big picture' can be daunting the best thing you can do is keep your head down and work on tiny strides one day at a time.

The best way to form new relationships with other people is paradoxically to just focus on yourself. If you have nothing, if you know nothing, and if you do nothing outside your own little room, your own little bubble, you will have nothing to share with other people. Find some group activities. Be candid and honest with you lonely and shyness, but DON'T let it define you.

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That I'll never tap an ass like that

Tryna doing like you, pal, even tho small talk and spontaneity are still hard, haha. "It's only the giving that makes you what you are", as some lyrics said.

There's people (call 'em "normies" if you want) that, yes, may be hard to approach. Like, a lot of them. Don't push yourself with those, be polite but brief. And don't say rough things like that to yourself. Their loss if they cannot see the good you do!

Take care, friend. Best wishes

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I made the mistake of becoming a porn artist.

Last year I tried it to see if i could make some money and long story short I did, and got a decent following doing it.
Problem is I realized I don't actually want to draw porn, it makes me feel like shit and I hate that I have to keep what I do hidden from friends and family. I've gotten seriously depressed over it.
I should just quit, but I don't know how, I have a following and I don't know if I can just up and disappear. Should I announce that I'm done or just move on from it?

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I have one friend at uni and we aren't really that close with the rest of the class
Students were allowed to do group allocations (for 6 possible computing projects) and they ended up putting us both in a project I really didn't want to be in. The list has already been sent to professors so it's too late now. We made it very clear what our first choice was and they just bumped us out of the group for convenience. Now I feel mad at myself because I let it happen. I changed my "second choice" to match the one my friend had so they saw an opportunity to put us in the same group together on another project
Feels fucked
The other project had a clear dataset that I'd worked with before, clear goals, clear techniques etc. that we'd covered extensively in lectures. This one has none of that and I can't change it now. My friend complained about how we got "shafted" and one of our other classmates took a hostile tone, saying something like "I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of it, we probably asked you." No, you didn't.