>tfw suicidal genius
i don't care if you shitpost or flame me or whatever. i just need to know other people like me exist. or maybe someone will be compassionate and express sympathy for my position. i'm fucking drunk, i've wasted my life, i've had numerous relationships where i've tried to find true love and always failed. i don't know what to do anymore. i want it to end. i have no hope anymore. i failed at being human.
please respond.
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maybe if we feed these swine enough pearls they'll shit rubies
What are you a genius at doing?
What is a suicidal genius?
man we lost Terry A Davis and he was a genius too
>a drunk pseudo-intellectual
Just when I thought you folk couldn't get any fucking worse.
Ehh atleast you tried faggot. I'm a coward that hasn't tried, past or present. True love doesn't exist, what is or isn't love is dependent upon ones own definition. For some people warmth, others lust, etc.
The kind that constructs a guillotine for himself
You aren't the first and you certainly won't be the last so get over it or don't like the rest of us.
I'm not a genius but I can relate. There's levels of loneliness mortals should never have to experience
>suicidal genius
stopped reading here. go back to plebbit and never come back
I'm not a genius but I am a very intelligent person. That's my most notable quality but it's not the only one I have. I have pretty much everything needed for success and haven't lacked chances.
Just fucked up everything for being a drunk idiot who is extremely unhappy at with the current situation regardless of what it is. Nothing is ever good enough. Hardly ever there's anything good at all, and when there is there's always a way to fuck it up.
Now I'm a shut in who hasn't even had a shower so far this year and who plans to an hero before having to return to trying to habe a normal life. I already gave up.
>Now I'm a shut in who hasn't even had a shower so far this year
you probably should have put that in the OP
kys pweez
Try discipline and see how you like it. Quit video games, go on Jow Forums and read the sticky.
fuck i meant i've been on Jow Forums since 2004
FUCK
i've tried so much user. most people are the same. if i were happy and hadn't dropped out of college i might be in a better position to meet people like me. but i'm so pessimistic that i would probably keep finding flaws in people even if i were at the top of the socioeconomic ladder.
this is going to sound pretentious and egotistical but there isn't one thing i haven't studied that i don't understand. it ranges from art to music to STEM to philosophy to literature. part of my misery is that i want to do everything and be a great polymath but i never settled on anything long enough to even have the prerequisite knowledge to begin making original contributions. i've composed so much music and written so many things but i still feel worthless and trapped in my own mind.
i want to believe that i'm just another sub-140 IQlet who is fucking full of himself but the facts just don't line up with that.
in my experience someone who is so terribly sensitive that no matter what they do or what they learn they are constantly paralyzed by anxiety and fear and self-loathing that they couldn't cut it as a functioning human despite trying for almost 30 years
king terry is in his heaven and everything is right in the world
i wish i was a pseud, then i could have a crisis about it and begin to reconstruct myself based on a different self-identity
i think you tried in your own way. i consider myself a coward too. it feels like there's something i'm missing that would have made me a real human if i actually had it.
knowing i am just one blip in "le grand scheme" of things is one of the hardest feels to deal with
>There's levels of loneliness mortals should never have to experience
you are absolutely fucking right. bless you user.
been on Jow Forums since 2004
i feel you user. especially with not being satisfied with anything.
What does it even matter if there are people like you? You either wont ever meet or you wont like them. Just get over it and adapt.
What makes you think I'm not Jow Forums as fuck? And I hardly ever play video games.
As for discipline, I was in the fucking navy. I loved it (probably the only thing I've ever loved) but I got kicked out, but I know a thing or two about discipline.
You don't have to wish any longer. You showed everyone right now that you are a true egoistically faggot. If you were a genius you could prove it other than "I would be a genius if I would try, but I'm so smart I can't just get good at one thing."
Come back when you're out of puberty kid. You're probably just scraping 110 IQ and sometimes feel how you can think better than most other people but that does not make you a genius at all you retard.
Are you by chance a Super Smash Bros Melee player? That would explain a lot, to which I would have to say "learn to have fun."
>most people are the same
Not really, most people make something of themselves instead of bitching on r9k.
The only video game I ever play anymore is Fire Emblem. No idea how to have fun, last fun I had was like three years ago.
Dunno about you OP but I have grown to like the loneliness.
Every once in awhile I'll get this twinge to be a part of a group again, but then I'll spend 10 minutes around normies and I remember why I hate them.
It's not even that I cant fit in either. I hit the gym so I look natty, I can fake normie well enough that combined with my looks I pass as one of them, I can pretend to like niggerball and kiked/blacked tv shows.... but I just lose interest with them so quickly all i can think about is leaving.
It's the same fucking thing over and over..
>did you catch the game last night?
>hows the family doing?
>thank god its Friday/ugh its monday/HUMP DAAAAY
>wanna go hunting/fishing where we can talk about ^^^^^^^
Fucking christ it's the same thing on repeat over and over, I dont know how they dont just wanna kill themselves 24/7 listening to it.
Thank the lucky stars your not one of those retarded sheep OP, it sounds nice but being a normie is true hell.
Who is your FE waifu?
Tiki. None even come close. Save from Clarine, she's a qt as well.
A fellow wise man I see. The loneliness is a cold and bitter forge that can turn you into something amazing if you let it.
That's why almost all wise men seek solitude.
i feel like i need someone who thinks the way i do so they can fuck with my cognitive programming and cause me to actually value their thoughts. Jow Forums does that to an extent hence why i've been on here for half my life, but i'm either never going to meet any of you in person or the channers i do meet are just boiler plate normies with a bit of edge.
>Come back when you're out of puberty kid. You're probably just scraping 110 IQ and sometimes feel how you can think better than most other people but that does not make you a genius at all you retard.
almost 30 years old. also 110 IQ is only slightly above average and comparable to the 80-100 range in terms of processing power and breadth of knowledge.
>If you were a genius you could prove it other than "I would be a genius if I would try, but I'm so smart I can't just get good at one thing."
posting this on Jow Forums means there is no inherent foolproof way to prove it. if i were concerned with that i wouldn't have posted on Jow Forums, i'd have gone to a high IQ society where a bunch of self-fellating fucks would immediately accept me based on my arbitrary IQ score and project their own insecurities and life experiences. obviously i don't want that so i posted on Jow Forums instead.
>Not really, most people make something of themselves instead of bitching on r9k.
hah. you're not wrong. however, most people do operate with the same mental machinery. it's not very deep. it doesn't question. it accepts appearances. it does not understand systems. it is not terribly coherent. for most people, "maturity" is only a process wherein they learn what "cause and effect" is and begin to internalize it in order to conduct themselves better in the future. this is also the conventional definition of "wisdom".
If life has taught me anything so far, it's that most people really don't give a fuck about you or what you're going through. It's comforting in a way though I guess. It's never surprising when someone or something lets you down or hurts you, so I'm pretty much never caught off guard anymore.
i don't know how people can be satisfied with those things either. for people like us there is a double life to be lead, one where we accept the contrivances of social life but don't concern ourselves with it when in private. yet people's private life doesn't seem to differ much from their public life, except according to their own desires and prejudices. i always found it interesting how two people from disparate backgrounds could instantly connect based on a shared interest. i'm sure you're familiar with this in the sense that when you find out someone does something you do, you will humor them but there is no actual meaning behind it.
of course, that doesn't rule out the natural desire for connection and understanding that everyone desires. but it's interesting that people can form bonds based on such superficial things. this eventually leads to a shared state where people feel they can actually open up and express their private selves to someone else.... which is well and good. but abnormal or smarter or whatever people aren't satisfied with just expressing themselves. they are looking for a different substrate entirely. people like us can only be satisfied by knowing that someone else is as quick to process and understand information as we are, if not more.
it almost has a spiritual component to it. there are definitely degrees to this. highly intelligent people "become" others and understand them sometimes better than they understand themselves. if the other person is incapable of this, the connection cannot be made. but if a connection can be formed such that two people's notions of being are conflated with each other, there is the real possibility for an intimate connection.
>hah. you're not wrong. however, most people do operate with the same mental machinery. it's not very deep. it doesn't question. it accepts appearances. it does not understand systems. it is not terribly coherent. for most people, "maturity" is only a process wherein they learn what "cause and effect" is and begin to internalize it in order to conduct themselves better in the future. this is also the conventional definition of "wisdom".
please go back to 9gag and stay there
Does there exist a reliable way to tell whether or not i could be considered a "genius"? I wouldn't trust iq tests at this point since i probably have some sort of depression or ADD essentially killing my concentration. Any of it. I can stare at a paper for an hour and suddenly realize i don't understand a single word of what i've read. Another thing i'd gladly have cleared up, just to adjust my expectations of myself is whether or not i'm a slightly below average savant convinced i'm something special, or genuienly what you'd call a "tortured genius"
"genius" imho manifests itself in a lot of ways. i wouldn't waste your time worrying about whether you're a "genius" or not though. what really matters is what your passion is and how dedicated you are to it. i'm a firm believer that IQ score alone doesn't tell you whether you're a genius, it only tells you whether you have the potential to become one. do you have an obsessive personality? do you fixate on something and learn everything you can about it? do you find yourself constantly questioning and trying to figure things out? i don't think one's entire identity should be focused on intelligence. but i do think you can learn a lot based on how curious you are and what steps you take to satisfy your curiosity. you could definitely become a genius if you try. i think the most important thing is just having a passion and knowing with all your heart that it means the world to you.
suicidal genius is an oxymoron, u sound like an emotionally needy failure, like all the other posters. please make it a murder suicide and off the rest your senpai while ur at it. for society. remember, u r a genius.
Thanks but i've heard that a thousand times before. I just want to be somewhat certain of my intelligence for narcissistic purposes because i have a lack of tangible skills and some sort of complexes preventing me from being content with myself. Knowing i'm better than the majority of the human population would be a clever workaround. You know it's much harder to fix learned self destructiveness than you'd think.
But anyways, i'm rambling here. Again. As i said i can't really focus on anything. I don't read books. I've maybe read 400 pages in my entire life, i'm not sure if internet comments, articles and videos count but if they do you can count the "pages" in hundreds of thousands. Most of those are useless entertainment. Also, yknow a thought crossed my mind, do you think i'm just showing off my trashy vocabulary in what i'm assuming resembles how an educated person speaks to convince you and by extension trick myself into believing i'm more than i have reasons to believe i am? Like exactly what i'm doing now.
Also please elaborate on your questions, the "do you have an obsessive personality" ones if you have the time. They're a bit vague and besides i have a habit of thinking some habits i find to be desireable into existance conveniently when they're presented in a way that implies higher intelligence.
And also, after all of this absolute bullshit i wrote, i find myself to be emulating the habits of people and behaviors i absolutely despise. Funny that.
you are not a genius and the fact that you felt like you needed to describe yourself as one proves my point
>I've maybe read 400 pages in my entire life
You answered earlier itt that you know you're a genius because you've never failed to learn anything in your life ranging from music to philosophy. If all you've read in your life was 400 pages of entry-level material course you're not going to meet any challenges. I don't think you're necessarily dumb, but your story sounds a lot like classic dunning-krueger effect.
t. brainlet
erogemi
Oh, no i'm not that guy, i'm new.
With learning however, i either breeze through everything or declare it's too much work, impossible and consequently give up. Usually because i can't concentrate enough to piece the concepts together. Imagine two electrical cables floating in empty space, wiggling randomly. That's an accurate description of my learning habits. With enough time the wires might eventually touch and than i'll realize how simple it all really was, but mostly it's doing nothing with a blank mind staring at a wall. It's torture.
>i've had numerous relationships
leave
Oh, and i suppose you grew disinterested when you found out i wasn't the interesting idiot you were hoping to ridicule. Get fucked.
Cant agree more desu
OP hit me up [email protected]
>i want to believe that i'm just another sub-140 IQlet who is fucking full of himself but the facts just don't line up with that.
I know, I am in the same predicament. The reality is that people above a certain intelligence level live in their own world, just like the very rich or the very attractive do. We are the 10/10s and billionaires of intelligence.
So my only advice is to surround yourself with other smart people. But if you are asking where to find them, then I do not have the answers. The young and naive me would have said academia, but that is clearly not where really smart people go, as needless hyper-specialization on something exceedingly irrelevant is a tremendous waste of a gifted mind.
But really, if anything, you should bring this up on /sci/ or something. Or maybe try to get in contact with Peter Joseph, as he is probably one of the most intelligent people I have ever listened to: youtube.com
This is a good illustration of what it is like to be a 150+ IQ person talking with a 130 IQ brainlet.
What kind of life would you like to have? What would you be doing with your genius if you had the optimal situation? Intelligence is useless without vision. What is your vision that you are struggling to achieve?
You sound loke you might have legitimate autism, not like a genius. Like people on the upper end of ASD you probably have strong analytical ability but are subpar in every other metric.
Geniuses don't tend to view themselves as knowing everything, and they don't value pop-psychology trash like MBTI and IQ as anything beyond amusing passtimes.
Stop drinking you degenerated faggot. Nobody will have sympathy for you.
Joseph does seem to have the right of it. I wonder if he realizes that people like Molyneux are the other end of the candle stick so to speak. Meaning while the powerful corporate interests manipulate policy towards their ends, people like Molyneux work to erode the only structure that exists that could potentially keep those elite corporations in check. Fairness requires imposed boundaries, they aren't perfect but they are better than not. Professional contact sports (the market) without rule (government) would essentially be combat. These structures arise because sometimes all out war is far to costly and barbaric and everyone knows how cruel and brutal humans can be.
>genius
>wasted life
>relationships: failed
>no hope
>failed human
I don't think you are as smart as you think you are user.
It didn't take more than just one girl to understand girls are shit.
Just calm down dude, stop drinking, read some books about nihilism and realize that if nothing matters you are free to do whatever you want, you can't fail being human, there's just no way to "fail" since nothing matters.
I'm off to eat, add me on discord if you need someone to talk to Snuffles#8094
>tfw 130iq brainlet
>tfw still surrounded by MORE brainlets
feels really bad :(
I'm sorry I'm not smart enough to keep you company user.
True love doesn't exist
Intelligence doesn't make you a good or even nice person
Everyone is a failure
You're not special and neither is your mediocrity.
An attempt to be a compassionate and responsible person, all a man can do.