So I managed to hang myself an hour ago without snapping my neck, started passing out and got really dizzy...

>my wife and she's 4 months pregnant with my child.
sorry, but you are asshole at this point

What like trying to become an executioner? I have no problems doing that, I just don't think I'd be hired. You have a better idea? I'm at the point where I do weird shit in public like purposely avoid stepping aside when people are walking towards me so I hit their shoulder fucking hard or shout "fuck off chink" at people who try to hand me pamphlets in the street, stuff like that.

I'm a schoolteacher, by the way. Amazing, I know.

you can't really suicide and not be an asshole to somebody. It's unavoidable.

I act autistic in public purposely so people avoid me. What the fuck do I care, it's a big enough city and I'm married so no more fun anyway.

>Has a good looking wife that cares about him
>Probably has friends and a job
>About to be a dad

>Still tries to kill himself

Either this thread is bait or you are just a normie, a really shitty and unapprechiative one at that.

>Has a good looking wife that cares about him
My wife is a cunt. Fuck her.
>has friends and a job
I'm a schoolteacher and my coworkers think I'm anti-social fuck.
>still tries to kill myself
I stabbed a pencil deep into my arm when I was 13 and the scar caused by it lasted like 6 years. This isn't like one day I just looked at my life and decided "well this is shit." But I'm sure spending roughly 8 hours a day on Jow Forums since 2008 with almost no exception, at all, hasn't helped.

Not really that amazing. Honestly, when you add the school teacher part into the description, it makes the attempted suicide make a lot more sense.

DESU, it's pretty easy. Are you white? Go join a biker club like Hell's Angels (or preferably, a smaller, more local one). You will get PLENTY of opportunities to hurt, maim, and kill if that's what you're into. BONUS: your wife and kid will probably not want to be associated with you so you can rule all that shit out without having to kill yourself.

Joining a biker gang is easy. And, once you pass Probate, you'll definitely make more money than a school teacher.

>My wife is a cunt.

Why did you marry her then? She sure seems to care about you, since she cut you down and didn't just let you hang, in order to get your money and that sweet widows pension.

>Schoolteacher
Secure non-manual labor middle class job. You are lucky, most people on here can't even get a McJob, so shut up.

You are an idiot and don't deserve the nice life you have. Lots of people would give an arm and a leg to have your life you fucking idiot.

Also the pencil thing clearly shows that you are just hurting yourself to attention whore. Go back to your middle class life and stop bothering us you fucking normie.

>people like this get married
>i haven't had a gf in years

I don't want to be owned by anyone though. I was in a fraternity in college because I could drink and vomit and just didn't care at all about my well-being and I hated being in groups. I don't get along with other men, at all. I'll consider it though.
Nah I told her i was going to do it hundreds of times and she saw me set it up. She's told me to do it before too. She's a cunt.
My schoolteacher job is not good. I teach English to little kids in a very poor country. It's not what you think it is.

I am 90% sure he is a Chad, who just got bored with life, because he is playing on ultra easy mode. Which is why he is doing self harm for attentions sake.

School teacher ISN'T a middle class job. Average net is between $35 to 55 w/ benefits. If you're in a stable relationship with a SO and ONE of you is a school teacher, you have good health benefits and YOU can pursue the money making career. That's how you get to middle class in America. If only ONE of you is a school teacher and trying to support a family? Hello poverty.

And people get married all the time because they say "I can settle for this" without actually paying attention to the other person. And then they find out they can't put up with the other person. Shit goes downhill after that. UNLESS you take either a buddhist stance and accept that in order to be in a relationship, you must accept the other person fully and remain committed almost sacrificially to keeping the relationship together (OR tossing it -- either can be buddhist)... OR take the conservative ultra orthodox religious stance and put the woman in her place and don't put up with her bullshit ever.

Whatever works.

Dude, if you are living in some third world shithole, being a teacher is even more valuable, since having an education is even more valuable there.

But you are a retarded normie, so you won't understand. In places like America college is considered a requirement for most jobs nowadays, just because the job market is so fucking inflated.

What the fuck happened to this board? Why is it overrun with normalfag redditors? God damn.

You don't want to be owned, you say?

EVERYONE takes orders from someone, user, unless you live out in the middle of the woods by yourself. You can either accept that SOMEONE somewhere will make a decision you don't like and you'll be forced to deal with it OR you can bemoan that fate. You don't need to join an MC to learn to respect yourself as a human being and a man (and accept your more base, animalistic desires), but you obviously need to do something to come to terms that the man you ARE is not the man you're pretending to be in your daily life. If that wasn't the case, you wouldn't be trying to hang yourself.

Reddit turned into a corporate advertising platform so any interesting or weird conversations have pretty much been outlawed. I think socially anxious people find basic anonymity appealing and the fact they don't have to care who's responding to them is nice.

I'm 90% sure you're wrong. Again, after being a NEET for 2 years I took a position teaching English to little kids in a poor country and then married some short person there because nobody in my country wants anything to do with me. I don't get along with other people and my coworkers told me to my face I'm an anti-social freak and while we were having a drink. I'm alone in this world and I'm fucking done. I haven't spoken to anyone except for fucking children in months because I work then go home and spend the next 8 hours on this site and repeat. I want out I'm fucking done.

55k is middle class, in Germany (where stuff is much more expensive) construction workers make like 1.4 - 1.7k/month after taxes, which is considered working class.

The average US salary is 44k, so 35 to 55k is exactly middle class. But you also have to factor in, that its a non manual labor, indoor, job, without any dangers to life or limb. Compare workplace injuries an fatalities among similar and lower paying manual labor jobs and you will see, that being a fucking school teacher is literally a super comfy job to have. It is also non challenging, since you just teach the same shit over and over again to people who are multiple levels of maturity and education below you.

Marrying without thinking about it is turbo normie tier and he deserves what he got.

was meant for Fuck you niggers I've been here since 2008 and sure I'm a newfag but I've never been to reddit, 9gag, or anywhere fucking else. I've spent 8 hours a day here for half my life at this point. Fucking off yourselves.

You fuckign nigger teaching English abroad get some about 20k per year and there's NO job security at all. Fuck off.

Does the fucking newfag have more speculative commentary? I hate sheddit as much as anyone else here should but you're a fucking nigger.
Also ALL blacks are niggers.

I made 300k from fucking crypto with Jow Forums in 2017 and I still have 170k. I'm not some completely poor faggot like you.

55k is technically middle class but in practice it would be feasibly impossible to support a family off that amount if you wanted to raise them to middle class standards -- i.e. family vacation once a year, reasonably good, nutritious food, a three bedroom home or apartment, etc.

I'm technically middle class and I have no family and, financially, I'm comfy as fuck. If I had to raise a kid, put clothes on him/her, take him to school, give healthcare and dental care, toys, etc., I don't think that would be very comfy at all.

Living life on ezmode and still spends 8 hours per day on Jow Forums.

You know, that there are people out there working 3 jobs and barely surviving? People like that dont have 8 hours per day to waste. Working till you are too exhausted to even cook a meal is the norm for many people, even in the western world.

With 8 hours per day, you have the opportunity to do pretty much anything with your life, yet you don't care, because you are a fucking normie and have no ambition.

You got all the gifts at birth, like normie genetics, birth in a first world country, etc yet you still decided to fail at life.

Hence the suicide. I was a NEET for a few years and still have more money left over than most wagies. Go ahead. Tell me to kill myself again you reddit fuck.

Thats the reality, that most families in America and the western world are facing. In reality it is even worse, since most lower class families have to subside on less than average incomes with multiple children in the household, yet they still manage to pull through somehow.

Again life on ezmode.

Most hard working white Americans will never see 300k in their life, despite making all the right choices and not being a fucking leech on society.

Ah, you're bi-polarity is showing, user. Also, r9k wasn't here in '08. You don't need to old-fag the old-fags. I don't have social media and back in actual '08-11, reddit was looking like a decent aggregator site for news/shit. I lurked and I saw that it quickly turned into everything else on the internet: another get-rich-quick scheme for the creators (except the dude that got assassinated) and a big honeypot for just about everyone else.

I guess if I mentioned other messaging boards like ful-lc-h-a-n or the darkweeeb versions of 4chin, you'd just as soon ignore that the internet is a vast and deep place full of interest and horror.

SIDENOTE: It's awesome how the posting algorithms have so many inputs to block 'spam' that it makes posting ANYTHING a fucking hassle. I bet that's a sure sign Jow Forums is finally going the way of EVERY OTHER major web site: shit.

>not wanting to be a slave makes me a leech
I never got welfare or anything. I just paid my fucking rent and didn't work.
As I said multiple fucking times, 8 hours a day on Jow Forums not Jow Forums. This has never been my home board. Fucking /b/ was for like 3 years and then a big mix. I didn't pretend to be an oldfag. You're the one who's fucking newfag is showing.

When I tried to hang myself, it wasn't painful but very uncomfortable. How do you deal with that? Also, do you hold your breath before you do it? I always back out when my body freaks out from no oxygen. My attempt (another method) failed last night. Hanging I read was pretty successful though.

>I don't have social media
Neither do I. You want a fucking cookie?
>I lurked on reddit
Should have fucking stayed there. I didn't. I didn't bother because I know it's going to be shit. You're a fucking newfag faggot.

Okay, I take back all of the previous fifteen encouraging or suggestive comments I made earlier. You absolutely should hang yourself. Your pregnant wife and child will have an immensely better life the sooner you're dead and they can move on.

>do you hold your breathe before you do it
I don't think it would have made a difference. I didn't try to break my neck like you're supposed to. I actually found that by hanging on by my hands and slowly letting the pressure off my hands go I was able to ease into it until I'm assuming I just passed out. It's gradually blocking the air instead of just jumping all at once.

Fuck off nigger
Gotta say it twice for the original robot:
Fuck off nigger.

No just taking and giving nothing back to society and even your own family makes you a fucking leech.

If a person has an easy setup in life like you, you at least need to give the same to your child and not cause him to be born as an orphan to a widowed mom.

So save your money and make sure you are a good father. Also, suicide attempts that you know are going to be faulted are not real suicide attempts.

Alright, I'll try harder. I lapse into a weird suicidal state every so often but I'll try.

Without the existence of a Higher diety enforcing some sort of Morality objective Morality cannot exist, feel free to do whatever the fuck you want OP, maybe if you shoot up some place it'd be entertaining to hear about

user, no one asked for your opinion on his action, OP is talking about how hanging felt like.
Plus OP did it because he felt bad. I dont see how calling him names will decrease his likelihood of another attempt.
>you tried suicide ? kys man

WRONG
what ya should've said plebit fag is
>get out you larping nigger