If you HAD to impregnate a girl before the year ends or you will be tortured for a thousand years...

If you HAD to impregnate a girl before the year ends or you will be tortured for a thousand years, how would you go about it?

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>go to spermbank
If that fails
>Talk to a lot of women in some dating app and poke holes in all condoms

Easy just commit suicide lol

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I'd get to live for a thousand years, at the very least I'd see first hand what happens to the human mind after that and all pain is temporary anyway.

these are the words of a man who is gonna regret his choices 3 months in

Russian mail order bride.
Alternatively, sexual tourism in some South American or SEA hellhole where I can just buy a slave.

these are some pretty retarded sound effects

i can get in touch with the town bicycle and knock her up. Would probably take a week and the friendships it would cost me aren't worth all that much anyways.

find one via internet, doesnt need to be pretty
if that fails ill go more desperate

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if absolutely everything fails then id have to resort to rape, i think it would be justified

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I'm sterile so I'm fucked

Lol I like you .. your cute

>make deal with hooker
>i get her pregnant
>then i get her an abortion
>pay her whatever it takes

I think it'd be pretty easy to find a hooker willing to do this but what do I know.

also i'd just pump her with a turkey baster of my semen cause fuck getting an std

rape.

or using tinder to find a landwhale.

Those are the easiest options. It doesn't matter who, my pride doesn't matter either I'm just trying to avoid endless pain.

Eh, what's a thousand years going to do. Fuck having sex with a thot.

Rape, ultimately the minutes or hours of her dealing with rape is far milder than me having to suffer 1000 years of torture so morally it balances out. It's the same kind of decision as is it better to kill one person or ten people.

>1000 years of pain or (probably for u lol) 10 seconds of pleasure
Yeah ur gonna regret that 5 minutes in to the torture

Move into the ghetto or something like that. There are black girls that look to have a kid just for the benefits even if it means being a single mom, and some love the idea of a white guy doing it.

>t. experience with it

get a job and lower my standards

Same man. I might as well kill myself now

Pin prick a bag and cum inside dozens of hookers.

I shall take the torture. I have no money.

was about to post this but then i realized i'm a big guy and can't stand pain so if i can't make money fast or seduce a girl I would just rape and go to the police immediately to take the prison time

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Kidnap and rape, confirm pregnancy, kill her then myself.

I'm sure that showing a picture of Samus getting doggy dick would get any girl to spread those cheeks