Wake up in darkness, glow of clock confirms its 3.23 am

>Wake up in darkness, glow of clock confirms its 3.23 am
>See a figure standing in my doorway. Shit, I’m getting robbed/rapes/murdered
>Instant fear wells up in me, tears start coming out, I quietly whimper “p-please don’t hurt me.”
>Figure just continues to stare at me. Probably deciding what to do.
>Start to think of all the things I have to live for and everyone that will miss me.
...
>Any second something will come to mind.
>Nothing, realise I have no ties and get angry.
>Think, and shout! “Fuck this, this is my house her the fuck out”
>Leap out of bed and spear tackle the man. Somehow get fear boner.
>Realise I tackled the vacuum cleaner I was too lazy to put away the night before.
How’s your week starting out?

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Did you sex the vacuum cleaner?

I suppose I technically humbled it for a bit while I was ‘grappling’ it on the ground but that was as far as it went

I'm disappointed in you user, whimpering like that, damn you

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+humped

nice blog

Missed opportunity, user

Don’t worry, I’m plenty embarrassed aobut it myself.
I want to say it’s because I just woke up but it would be a lie

Thank you.

I didn’t want to get it pregnant in case my parents arrived and found my cum during their vacuums inspection

>Don’t worry, I’m plenty embarrassed about it myself.
Why are you embarrassed? Its not like anyone cares about your behavior since you have no ties or anything. All your actions are just a series of pointless actions taken in a lonely vacuum that nobody even knows exist.

At least it wasn't sleep paralysis. Fuck I hate sleep paralysis so much.

is this a meme?
i've literally never experienced it

Good for you. I have it when I'm really down and stressed. It's a bad, bad thing. Basically goes like this
>Wake up in darkness, glow of clock confirms its 3.23 am
>See a figure standing in my doorway. Shit, I’m getting robbed/rapes/murdered
>can't move
>can't even open or close eyes fully
>primal fear
>fight or flight blaring in your mind
>but you can't do either, since you can't move at all

More like, silly me, embarrassed

Yeah silly you. I hope my comment hurt you. BYE

>I hope my comment hurt you
Not him, but is this really the mindset you want to have in life?

Yes. You’re comment devastated me and I’m sitting here crying my eyes out.

Some are beyond saving user, leave him be, put your efforts elsewhere to something of value

Let me preface this by saying that it’s my body, and I do what I want to with it. Only God may judge me. Fuck any haters!

I’m an escort, or a call girl if you must, and I’m ruthless with who I accept as clients. I only sleep with someone if they are on a similar level of intelligence, highly successful in business or if they are extremely good looking. That way I can be sure that I am not lowering myself in any way. If you aren’t at the top of your game, or are full of negativity and complaints, why would I accept your money to fuck me?


I've cut out two or three different friend groups and a few family members (including my father) because of how negative, bitter and cynical they are. I don't want that shit in my life.

I don't drink alcohol and rarely go out drinking, spend very little money on clothes, I don't have a car and use public transport. This means I save a lot of money while being able to eat high quality, nutritious food without having to cook every day as it takes a long time.

I go to counseling / therapy and have went for years and spend a lot of time on self care / introspection. This means I get insight on my problems and learn how to have a positive mindset and why I think the way I think. I think everybody could benefit from therapy, it's the people who think they don't need therapy are the ones you need to worry about.

I don’t waste time on small talk, you know why you’re paying me, and I’m charging high by the hour, I’m talking more than $50 per hour here, so I don’t want people wasting my time. A lot of people consider me to be a quiet and Mousey girl, and I conform to those restrictions since they suite me just fine.
A lot of people, mainly virgins, call me a roastie, but fuck them. Actually I’m not, so it’s even more painful for them.

Iktf user... unironically sleeping more/ better sleep schedule, training more, and better diet etc helped me go from having them almost every other night to hardly ever

Now that I think about it, I don't think I've had it even once after starting getting Jow Forums

HAHAHAHA I AM TRULY THE MOST POWERFUL

I'll allow it this time, user. But you need to step up your game here.

>No figures, but omnipresent cloud of dread and presence of something near or getting nearer
>Can't see
>Can't move
>Can't breathe
>Can think clear as day, even as panic rises
Fucking awful, I hate it.

It's either stress or snoring related. I stopped snoring and reduced stress significantly lately, seemed to help.

>switch to PPL, first session was yesterday
>sick workout, felt fatigued after 2nd exercise
>OHP 70% of the weight I normally would
>workout felt good though, no DOMS or anything
>wake up in the middle of the night today
>horrible DOMS, my shoulders have been obliterated
I'm supposed to hit the gym today, hope it goes away otherwise it's gonna be a hell of workout

Thanks user, I'll look into that.

dont do that, it'll rip your tubing out.

Wtf.
Is this bait

I’d call this bait. But I know people who would say this and mean it

No, humbled is better. You humbled that vacuum cleaner old country style.

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not a meme, they are scary as fuck. I had my first sleep paralysis when I was a kid and it freaked me the fuck out.

>I've cut out two or three different friend groups and a few family members (including my father) because of how negative, bitter and cynical they are. I don't want that shit in my life.
based and redpilled. also everyone is gonna call you a roastie here but from experience 90% of escorts I've been with were chill and nice women, and what surprised me the most is that none of them drank or did drugs.
Doesn't mean I approve of that "profession", but it kinda opened my eyes about how toxic Jow Forums is, literally full of ugly virgins who are too bitter to accept the fact they are undesirable.

>literally full of ugly virgins who are too bitter to accept the fact they are undesirable.
Hm
>but from experience 90% of escorts I've been with were chill and nice women.
Oh