Bodyweighht?

What if you deadlift your fat friends?

I guess grappling could substitute for it

Some exercises like front lever help develop deadlift strength

youtube.com/watch?v=qv--wQH80Ic

Bodyweight exercise is dope. There's usually a 'calisthenics general' thread going on this board, that's where you want to be.
You will learn balance, control, spatial awareness, and flexibility from bodyweight exercises much more than you will from weights. On the other hand, linear progression is a lot more difficult and any sort of posterior chain/spinal load work is gonna be pretty much impossible. They're not an adequate substitute to weight training, but they are a good supplement.

It's just an awful meme
Fart fetish is still very niche

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Every calisthenics movement has variations from "so easy anyone can do it" to "so difficult no one has ever done it" and dozens in between.

>being this low test

>tfw i want to bite into this ass, not even fuck it
I WANNA BITE I WANNA BITE

Thanks sadly none of the hose threads are up right now.

imagine the smell

Stand on your hands and deadlift yourself.

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>What does Jow Forums thhink of bodyweight?
Jow Forums probably scoffs at it and thinks push ups, then thinks push ups are shit because it isn't pushing a bar on a smith machine that they will never admit to.

There are bodyweight deadlifts

Elaborate

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>see this
>wait after class
>wait for teach to go get some Folgers™ Brand coffee
>run to desk
>deep sniffing inhale
>lick desk clean
>so smelly
>start jerking it while licking desk edge
>about to nut
>teacher comes back in
>blow goo all over desk chair

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Single leg romanian deadlifts

It lacks the grip strength and progressive overload of the deadlift tho but I guess you could just add these along with front/back levers and be good

You'll be weak forever if you do this without weight.

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uhhh just go to a bigger planet and the workout will be harder.

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Did it for year, I thought I was doing great. Started going to the gym, after two months of lifting weights I get as much progress as 6 months doing pull-ups, chins, dips and etc. Body weight is good, but lifting is better, that's my personal experience.

Literally every other girl outside of your parents basement. Have sex.

in all seriousness op

human beings are endurance athletes

Bodyweight exercises/calisthenics are a completely perfect way to train, with little to no risk of injury

The military uses completely bodyweight only.

Do your MAX set. Rep out as many push ups, sit ups, flutter kicks(timed), pull ups, etc etc

See how many you can do

Then for your working set, do 50% as many per set.

Seeing as they're bodyweight exercises, you can repeat 4-5x a day.

Strength training is superior because high weight will build STRENGTH faster, yes

but bodyweight exercises are literally amazing, build your cardio, build your overall energy, make you more fit overall.

Honestly, nobody cares about shitty curlbros and chest/shoulders with your disgusting 30lb overweight gut and 0 core strength. These people can only ever hit 70% of their potential without cardio, and calisthenics

I'd say honestly, for beginners, doing the bar, repping it out, then doing 50% of that for sets is a by far superior way of training for your first 3-6 months. It'll prevent any injuries, give you some cardio aswell, and will make you fit in literal no time.

post body

*crack*

*sips*

Ahhhhh

Back in my day we'd want to grab asses, not sniff em.

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They're great, but most people won't do enough to see serious gains, and it's much harder to add resistance. For this reason beginners will make much better gains on weights. If you want to see some serious chest gains doing push ups, do amrap 5-8 sets, and often mix things up like doing different variations on push ups. Have enough recovery time, if you're listening to your body properly you can make some serious gains. It's hard and burns like a motherfucker though

Absurd. Anyone with a respectable body does some calisthenics, /frauds/ included.

It's just a meme, boomerfren. Although some will act on it which has only made this shitty meme slightly funny against all odds.

Damn. Bringing me back memories from middle school with dat ass. It was like a bolt from the blue.

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Personally I'm opposed to bodyweight and the gravitic Jew in general

Scooby's opinion if anyone wants to know

link...
youtu.be/66cKr6dIm78?t=1662

>had fwb and used to pick her up and put her on my lap and start spanking her butt (identical to OP) and she'd laugh and beg me to stop
>been years since I had anything like that
My day is now ruined

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;-;

>being this low test

>you will never fuck a hot prime-pussy 12th grade French class classmate of yours again

kill me

:(

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Not to mention weight can be added to the fundamental calisthenic movements such as pull-ups, dips, rows, and pushups

How fucking front lever can develop deadlift?

Teens are sooooooo sexy.
I wish I was that table. I would vibrate in place and get the coochie wet and moist. She would have retard eyes until she realizes she's in class but what's this? A vibrating table!
No one noticed... except that sperg in the corner of the room thaat stares at me.
Yeah I see you, fucking loser. I bet he jacks off to my instagram pics.
This table... it was amazing.
I've never felt such tremendous sibian power flow through an inanimate object.
D... do I steal this?
I should stay afterschool. Yes! Detention!
Oh Mr. Dickinson, you suck coon cock!
No. That wouldn't work.
Hmmm.
Oh Mr. Dickinson... can you help me with todays lesson?
I couldn't focus because I was soooo preoccupied with the thought of your mature cock penetrating my little innocent pussy. I was so wet, squirming in my seat. If I kept rubbing my thighs... I think I would have squirted in your room! So embarrassing. Maybe if it's just us I can squirt but you can catch it all in your mouth ok? No evidence wink wink. Promise to take my virginity? Lol yeah right
Hmmm. What could I do.
Huh? What the? It's moving again!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE TABLE IS LEVITATING!!!

The table rose above the students, objects in the class flying about. Papers, pencils, journals, the posters hanging on the walls. It was a spectacle. A blue aura circled the table.
Our protagonist reached out to it, and said, "God? Is that you?"

The table slammed down. Creating cracks into the ground. Suddenly a chair went flying from the corner of the room, striking a student. He's having a siezure, one cries out.
What goes on?!
Why it's none other than the classroom creeper!
He cackles with might, and yells out, "YOU'RE MINE STACY. I WANT YOUR PUSSY. I HAVE BEEN SWIPING YOUR ASSIGNMENTS WITH MY CORRECTED VERSIONS. YOU'VE BEEN PASSING BECAUSE OF ME. I DESERVE PUSSY. I NEED PUSSY. I CANT JACK OFF TO CARTOONS ANYMORE. OPPPPAAAAIIII.

Stacy screams as the math book flies in her direction when WHAM.
It's blocked!

The god cam pans from her shut eyes, and we see what blocked the attack.
A TABLE LEG!
We zoom out and see the God table from earlier standing, protecting our Stacy.
Grandiose gook music plays. Beautiful harps. Mighty kung fu music as this epic spectacle unravels.
The creeper loses his composure.
REEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
He grabs his head and shakes about like a retard that was jacking off in the locker room again. His backpack unzips, and his vast collection of hentai mangas shoot out. The pages tear out, they circle him in a cyclone. Covering him completely, swirling dust everywhere. The camera circles him, revealing his new form. The pages sticked together to form 4( FOUR*) new appendages.
You guys always teased me for my pants stains... *(The creeper masturbates and ejaculates in his clothes, resembling ink spots in his dark school shooter apparel)
... call me...
THE SQUID.

Unironically based

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The table grabs Stacy, and pulls her out of the class. They both run down the halls when behind them we see The Squid break through the class wall. With great force, dust clouds everywhere.
He traverses through the halls, impaling and shoving any student in his way.
BZZZZZZZZZZZ the table vibrates.
What? Stay and fight? YOU'RE A FUCKING TABLE, AND I CAN'T FIGHT THAT WHATEVER THAT IS!!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
BZZZ... BZZ.
Stacy nods and stands back into cover.
The Squid catches up, and we enter the mexican stand off.
Who strikes first?
THE AIR CRACKS. The table flew towards the squid, and their fight begins.
The table using incredible shaolin techniques. Their moves break the sound barrier. CRACK CRACK CRACK WHIP WHOOSH CRACK WHIP.
They buzz about as they dodge and counter each other's move.
The table uses SOVEREIGN KICK OF THE LOTUS POD.
With such speed it moves its leg, the mortal eye it appears as if it had 20 legs. WHAPOW.
It manages to destroy a limb off the squid.
SKREOOOOOOOOOOOONK he cries.
He bleeds tree sap from his papery appendage. You'll suffer!!!!!!
He grabs the nearest student with it's remaining 3 limbs. Tears the student in half, spilling its bowels in the hall.
He kneels and consumes his blood.
SKREOOOOOOOOOONK
He throws the body at our hero. The table narrowly manages to dodge the halved corpse. Stacy of coursed plastered with blood. Oops, the table vibrates

Fighting continues. So fast, so incredible. After 10 minutes of more fighting I cannot properly describe let alone comprehend it comes to a stalemate.
The table is weakened, as is the squid.
This a tough battle. But how will he win?
We see a flashback of a tree going through a woodchipper.
Then we see our hero table, with a strike shot artistically done.
The blue aura returns. Immense vibrating occurs. The school trembles. Everyone screaming.
The table rises a foot of the ground.
WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
The Squid frantically cries
The table with such grace bends its legs, and assumes proper stance.
NO! NO IT CAN'T BE. IT CAN'T!!! the Squid pleads

...
KA...
ME.....
HAAAAAAAA..
MEEEEEEEEE.....HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AN ENERGY BEAM COMPLETELY PUMMELS THE SQUID SENDING HIM FLYING THROUGH THE SCHOOL, OUT INTO THE SKY, THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE.

GHAHGHGAHGHFAHAGGHNAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
I WAS PERVERT!!#^AGHAHHUGAAAAAGHHHH....

ok.

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Our hero lands.
His aura dissipates.
He turns to stacy. They instant transmission away and into her bedroom.

Thank you... For everything.
She wipes dust from his tanble top. She smiles and stands back.
She lifts her shirt
Table vibrates

It's okay. I want this. I've wanted this since you first vibrated.

She reveals her breasts. Somewhere between an A and a B cup.
Perky tits, slightly puffy pink nipples. Theyre hard. She begins to unbuckle her belt. One button comes off, then her zipper lowers.
We see a peek at her cotton panty.
She wiggles as she pulls her jeans down.
She walks towards the table and places her mound on the corner of it.
She begins to grind. Stunned, the table comes to. It begins to carefully vibrate.
This pleases the horny bitch.
Her panty mound grows wet. She gyrates her hips. Digging the corner into her vulva.
The table stops.
No, why. I was getting close
He lifts her and places her on the bed.
His table legs pull her soaking wet panties off. The panty peel is that of reddit gold status.
They land on the floor. PLOP.
The table caresses her inner thigh.
Be gentle...
He puts the tip of his table leg in. She squirms.
He pushes further. She's so tight.
She bites her lips, digs her fingers into her hair, the other hand gripping into the mattress.
The table's aura returns. It increases the girth of its legs. This stretches her pussy out. She moans. He vibrates.
We pan out into the outside view of her house. Left only a view of their beautiful sexual intercourse that screams heresy in the eyes of the lord.
IM IM CUMMING!...
Stars twinkle.

The end.

fuck bros look at that curvature

Bruh... Don't do me like that.

youtube.com/watch?v=dL6XwAl_hNo

Got em

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Look at those split ends

>rounded glutes
>no belt

Not for me desu

I usually do cardio as just my workout starting to do bodyweight, when do I fit cardio into my routine, shouls those be seperate from my routine?

mix and match
pullups and dips are god tier exercises, especially when weighted but avoiding barbells is stupid when you don't have any injuries that stop you from using them

strictly a zoomer/actual fart fetishist meme. I find it cringe and insanely lazy, even more than brap posting.

I never report posts but make an exception for these. If I can get even one of these niggers banned for being off topic then it'll all be worth it.