Start praying again for first time in years

>start praying again for first time in years
>smoke detector randomly goes off next day saying "fire fire" when I've set it off vaping before and it never says "fire" just makes a noise
>5 hours later diner down the street has gone up in smoke from a fire in their bakery
>few weeks later end up with a tooth abscess I can't afford to get fixed
>pray for miracle
>2 days later find 1250 deposited in account from school I just dropped out of
>turns out they found they paid me less than they should for spring 2018 Pell grant and disbursed it to me
>this is free money
I don't know what the hell is going on but I know God is real.
Pray, guys. God steers causality. Entertain him and your ass will follow.

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When I started praying, Trump got elected. Anything can happen

>be god
>lay off the miracles for a few thousand years
>soften these cunts up with indifference
>lol how the fuck did they manage 2 world wars in 20 years?
>wtf they might actually erase all life now
>2014
>less and less peoplebelieve in me
>time to boot up the old sims account

>2 world wars in 20 years
>1914-1918
>1939-1945
At least you tried

>Take acid
>Start hearing the voice of God, doesn't go away even after I sober up
>It predicts things that are going to happen
>Predicts that my mother is going to enter my room when Im freaking out after smoking weed, a couple other things I cant remember
>Tells me to give faith in it
>Afraid it's a demon in disguise, never confirms or denies this fact
>One day it tells me that it is me, saying I'm god
>Tell it that I'm not worthy of being god, I sin too much, I commit lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, envy, and pride
>After a month of this, it tells me I am Jesus, here to save everyone
>Again, tell it I'm not worthy of so much responsibility
>things start going south, god is yelling at me at night in the form of what is apparently "exploding head syndrome", lasts for 2 months
>God tells me I'm pregnant with Jesus since I don't want to be Jesus
>God tells me I am Lucifer eventually
>Through all of this, even in the beginning, God keeps trying to get me to go "home" or as Christian's call it, heaven
>One day while in the mental ward, waking up from sleep, I hear god saying, come with me, I look out the window, see white clouds, a big hand comes through the clouds, towards me. I say "I'm not ready to die yet" and the hand goes away, i get exploding head syndrome and hear an angry demonic voice saying "then rot away like the shit you are", the door is swinging open like someone slammed it, nobody is there
>Fast forward to recent times, my brother becomes a Christian from athirst
>He tells me to read the Bible and ask it a question and it will answer
>Ask a question, flip open a page, gibberish, do it again a few times, gibberish, try reading it normal, gibberish

Its too late for me user

sorry to tell you man but you have latent schizophrenia.

Oh boy some totally new information that I definitely didn't know since I was 5 years old

think everything went wrong on the "acid part"
that shit rewires your brain, nothing you see or hear is real, that and you have schizophrenia

I used to pray daily for years and life never got better for me. I think God simply hates me.

Sober now and medicated but
>Be me, 20 year old druggie
>Start taking cough syrup and benadryl
>Lose job cause I keep repeating "I want to die" and thinking about suicide while gripping the steering wheel
>High every day on one plateau or another+a lot of weed
>Hours last an eternity but evaporate from memory when they're over
>In dissociated states commonly resort to cathartic self hatred and outward anger
>Start fantasizing about being a demon after a strong trip of benadryl and niacin, burning pain and partial seizures and I liked it
>Totally lose grasp on reality but never submit my will to a higher power (Satan)
>Eventually it has to end, get bailed out by my parents, keep using in their attic
>Diagnosed bipolar, probably schizo if I kept going/ probably schizo anyway :(
>They get sick of it and kick me out
>Road trip to Florida for some retarded reason
>Party at a drug-friend's house on addy, 4aco-dmt, RC benzo and weed
>Dexgod (Satan) doesn't like this disloyalty
>Feel like I get possesed, wake up from a blackout stealing shit I didnt need from a gamestop
>Roll with it and go into another store with beepers
>In a trance steal, get caught, jail
>Parents (God) bail me out
>Go to rehab
>Get kicked out for psychosis and saying I had violent thoughts
>Psych ward for a few days, into another rehab
>Do some Ouija shit alone and get spooked about inviting the devil in
>Tells me to do a pact, almost go for it
>Leave rehab instead, back at my parents, drugs at the first available opportunity and attempt to run from parents again
>End up in a house with 2 "alcoholics"
>Weird sex on cough syrup, they pull out the heroin
>Say no, other person I was with was on the floor dissociated as fuck
>They put a shot in her (trans :/ broke up)
>She almost dies lol, seizures and low breathing
>Next day I think everythings normal, they get me to pay 100 bucks for groceries, make me food and I'm sus
>The groceries are still in my car, pancakes have heroin in em