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Nearly broke my toe
Good job
please do not smug
it hurts
Okay
I suppose you want to hear the epic tale of how I nearly broke my lower phalangeseses?
Yes
Let's see here... Okay I have quite the magnificent tale for you, button/ade/bearposter/tewiposter/kotposter/spazanon.
It all started many years ago when I was a young lad, my parents at the time had made the decision, without my consent to enroll me into a martial arts school. Since I was such a fat bastard at the time, I didn't do very well, but that's besides the point. I trained to become better but I didn't have enough dedication, so the instructor publicly humiliated me in front of the entirety of the class and audience when I'd messed up enough. My father did not stand for this since he's such an egomaniac. To him, his son getting humiliated brought about the same kind of shame that you get when you're humiliated yourself. My father, disappointed by my lackluster progress, sent me to a mountainous region in Eastern Europe in order to train me thoroughly in the art to make sure I'd never be humiliated again. Me, being my young and gullible self, followed my father's orders blindly, not understanding the absurdity of the situation. I'd trained there for seven years before my father gave up on me and sent me to a dump of a house in the Southern US so he could get rid of me. This is where I tripped while running on sand and hurt my toe pretty bad.
I'm too lazy for martial arts consider yourself lucky, I hurt myself doing lame stuff
you didn't read all of it
Wait so you hurt your toe at the new house or you've got more?
such a touching tale,brought a tear to my eyes
Holy shit I just had the second part of my story typed out and then clicked the captcha terms accidentally.
I do a ctrl A, ctrl X, ctrl V every once in a while if I'm typing something big
but ctrl x deletes stuff silly!
will continue the story in 1 hour if someone would be so kind as to stay and wait.
After I had hurt my toe while running, I'd went to the hospital. To my surprise, the doctor stated that I did not have enough funds in my account for the treatment costs. I had called in with the bank to find that I had no money whatsoever left in my account. I had contacted many businesses specializing in identity theft to see if they could help me, but to no avail. This is when I received a phone call. The call was from a self-proclaimed nigerian prince and I hung up the phone. That is when I received a second phone call. The man on the other end of the line stated that if I wanted to get my money back, I'd need to go to [REDACTED]. I packed my bags and I went to [REDACTED]. At the end of the ride I didn't have enough money to pay the cab fare, so I just ran. While running, I hurt my toe, but I still made it to the specified location. There I met a hooded man. The hooded man said that in order to get my money back, I'd need to beat him in the ancient art of tae-kown-toe, a martial art dating back to 30 seconds ago when it was made up by me. However, I could not fight with my damaged toe, so I had to be resourceful. Thankfully, I had something in my pocket that would allow me to win the fight. I pulled my phone out and called the cops. He surrendered peacefully, and when they took off his hood, it was my dad. When they brought me to the station for questioning, I negotiated that they bring me some coffee in order to jog my memory. Less "negotiated," and more "politely asked for" but that's besides the point. The shitty intern there spilled the coffee all over my chest, so I slapped her across her face. To my surprise, she turned out to be a massive M, and pleaded for me to continue the punishment in her bedroom. Since this a christian board, that's all that I can tell you, but all I can say is that there was no penetration involved, so I still have my V card. Just lots of whips and chains. I took a cab back home and while getting out, I tripped and hurt my toe bad.
cool story bro
How dare you bamboozle me
blombazzled
No more leading me on
[spoiler]Okay, Okay, for real this time.
After getting out, I looked up from my foot to see my house set on fire. Without even thinking, I ran in to my blazing homestead in order to retrieve my prized possession. My computer with 27 exabytes of 2hu reaction images. I thew the computer out a window that was conveniently not set on fire, and made my escape after it. I then went to a library and hijacked one of their monitors to see if the fire had caused any damage to my files. Unfortunately, it seems that nothing was left. I then began to cry excessively. They were tears of joy. I was finally free from the cold and sticky embrace that was /bint/. I could finally be happy again. This is when chicanon came up behind me and said "Typical of the AN*mEFAG to cry over something so inconsequential. Go back to "
I'm still confused as to how he could link boards in real life and tell me to go back there, but that's besides the point. After having this large, IBERIAN man turn the crying me in to the center of attention in this supposed-to-be quiet library, I stormed out of the facility, bawling my eyes out. That's when I hard at feint ">t. an*Mefag in the distance. I then went to climb to the top of the library. I've had enough of this life. I was finally free from Jow Forums, and yet, it still had the meanest grasp on me that it had ever had. I jumped off the building, but beneath me there were firemen with a trampoline. I purposefully positioned myself so that I would break my neck, but I didn't have enough air control. I struggled in the air in order to gain control of my life; to take that control back from Jow Forums... But I didn't have enough strength and ended up landing on the trampoline relatively safely. I had one injury. And THAT is how I ended up breaking my toe.
sounds like a pretty interesting day
average friday tbqdesfamalamadingdong
How did you pay for it all?
The computer and the house? Oh. That's all part of the story on how I nearly broke my finger.
How many body parts have we cost you
Over this past year, I've almost broken just about every bone in my body, and at this point, I'm starting to link it all together. Every path leads to Chicanon. The theories on /pan/ are starting to make more and more sense. He's orchestrated everything on Jow Forums since the beginning of time, even before the board came to being. He made the trash threads on Jow Forums and was also the mod that made /v/ and /a/ want a random board with flags. Both of these events lead to the need for a new board, a need for Jow Forums.
His purpose is unknown, the only thing we know for sure, is that he makes up around more than half the posters on this board, including me and you, we just don't even know it.
Whoa so I'm a genius with MPD and my board is a string in a puppetmaster's game
Please break bones more often