Robot Journals General

Yeah but Im not like a weirdo. I see a lot of people into anime and they look odd. Not to say im some adonis but they just dress bummy. They tend to seem kinda off as well. Its kinda concerning honestly, I feel like its already hard enough to find a girl into the stuff im into. I also feel like I have to factor in that a girl into the same stuff as me might look terrible, like she doesnt take care of herself or have any sense of style.

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Those digits
HNNNGGG. I keep getting trips in this thread.

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I can't find one that's short enough to fit into one comment, so have a PasteBin link: pastebin.com/yfvAmQrD

Yeah a lot of people I used to see were into anime. Good to know you're not a weirdo. The fact that you want to move out to be independent and get a gf says a lot about how "non weirdo" you are. Personally, I wouldn't try to look for a gal who enjoyed anime too much. But it seems even you recognize the fact that some anime girls aren't exactly "clean". I wish you luck on your goal.

That wasn't that long user. Here's a couple of questions and thoughts
>what's a tanzaku, and Tanabata
>did you find out whether it was a natural or mystical phenomenon
>do you still dumpster dive
>any other interesting finds while dumpster diving
Pretty nice user. My entries are never this detailed. I should make am detailed from now on. Thanks for contributing.

>That wasn't that long user.
Well, this was the shortest entry I could find. I write rarely in my journal so some of them are probably over 20,000 words.

>what's a tanzaku, and Tanabata
Picture related are tanzaku. They are strips of paper where you write down a wish and then hang it on a bamboo tree (I think) for Tanabata, which is a Japanese holiday. I don't live in Japan but I still do this for fun.

>did you find out whether it was a natural or mystical phenomenon
Yes, I made a similar card and hung it on a tree. I checked it after a month or so and the ink on it faded significantly, so it was indeed due to the sun making it burn out.

>do you still dumpster dive
I haven't done it in a while. I haven't found anything too interesting since then and I'm not industrious enough to make money off the less valuable things that you can find.

>Thanks for contributing.
Thanks for making the thread. I've kind of wanted to make one like this before as well, but never got around to it. Can you link an entry of yours as well? I must have missed the thread where you shared them.

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Thats pretty interesting stuff user. I would write it in pastebin, but Ive never used it, so instead I'll just transcribe an entry here. Compared to you I'm a writelet, next post will be an entry. Hold tight.

That's right, I forgot you implied that you have a physical journal (mine is digital, so I didn't have to transcribe anything). Take your time.

January 20, 2019
To cap off the past two weeks. We went ice skating. I kind of taught [BROTHERS NAME] how to ice skate. Went to go see Aquaman with [NAME]. I started running,but on January 8th (Tuesday), I messed up my right knee. Taking a two week break ending in 2 days. Netflix has some interesting stuff. Had Watchmen. Got more Queen songs. More 50s-60s songs. Started Playing Midnight Club. Started working on song. Beat from At the Hop. Hard. Starting Titanic story. Loud House episodes will be coming. Luan based Stage Plight. I SWEAR IF SHE GETS WITH BENNY IM GOIMG TO AHHHHH. Of course I also found 33.11.44.11.43.23.11. My mind is at rest, for now. I let go on the boards. Maybe its time I let go irl. Who knows what the future holds? Forgive me.

And that's my entry. Regular length.

This is quite different from the way I write them. Seems like this is a good overview of what you were engaged in at any given point in your life. Do you make an entry every day? How long have you been keeping this journal?

Ive had this journal since summer of 2016. My first entry was written on July 14th, 2016. I really only to began trying to write entries around May of 2018. I tried to write AT LEAST once a month. Mainly cause my life is mostly borjng and nothing happens, so 1 month entry that encompasses everything is good. Of course, when interesting stuff happens I write more. Like the Thanksgiving Isolation Period. Wrote 3 entries in one month, one of which was the longest one ive ever written. Recently I've tried to make more entries. Especially now that Ive read yours.

I used to be really edgy.

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I see; that's pretty similar to my experience. When I began mine, I was planning to write in it every day, but that became impossible very quickly as my life was also too boring. Now I write every other month or so, unless I'm going through an interesting period, as you said.

I've been trying to write about how I feel a bit more lately. It's pretty nice to be able to look back on what your mindset was at a given point in time. Although, so far I haven't read back many of the entries I made.

This makes me sound like a proper normie, but honestly this is the life of a fembot:

Honestly, life has been pretty boring since my last entry. I've had a few interesting conversations on Tinder, but never met up with anyone. I had a few date offers, but they always fell through for various reasons - one was too short, one was boring in conversation, one randomly unmatched me for whatever reason, one never unmatched but ghosted. Haven't had any datesor any sexsince [LAST PARTNER'S NAME], but also haven't heard from them which is good.

My only focus has been school, as statistics is challenging. However, through some miracle, I am doing good so far. I got a 73% on the midterm, and generally get around 70-100% on the worksheets (before and during class) and 70-80% on the quizzes, and so far 84% on the lab project. I think I'll actually pass this.

What is also a miracle is that I've actually been making friends at school - [NAME 1] who sits next to me in class, and [NAME 2], who I accidentally followed on instagram and have been talking to since. Not to say these will be lasting friendships, but [NAME 1] and I collaborate for all our of in-class work and {NAME 2] and I met up and helped each other finish a huge amount of the results section of the lab project, so that was cool. I've never felt actually noticed, or useful, or accepted at school before.

I also started dieting again, and went to the gym before catching a bad cold. But I'm back down to my lowest weight and kind of hovering around there, and as the weather improves, I'll be going back more.

Kek, you had some edge user. Some of the stuff there felt contradictory(or maybe I just have bad reading comprehension). When was this written user?

Yeah, it is extremely interesting to read past entries. When I wrote my entries for November I didn't realize I sounded that fucking whiny and desperate. When I reread them, I saw that I was having problems at the time. Real enlightening experience.

Yeah your entry was interesting to read. You sound like a complete normie, as what is expected of a female. Its interesting that you rejected a guy cause he was too short (kek). I would tell you to get ofd r9k, but I know you won't. So thanks for contributing.

2015, I was 17 years old.

>2015 was 4 years ago
Crikey. It didn't feel that long ago. I guess most of that edge came from being a teen.

No I'm still pretty edgy, it comes from not improving in life haha.

I'm going to open to a random page
July 18th, 2017
Today, I broke both the Custodia Oculorum and the fast. When one one thing slips, the others seem to follow. Tomorrow I'll pick it up again.
You know, even though my breaking custody was my fault, I was really unaware how different it is to avoid seeing such things when you're actively trying to avoid them.For example, I've been spending a lot of time on Twitter recently. Lewd posting is commonplace. All the time. Images meant to stimulate lust.
We had a show last Saturday. We played really badly, in my opinion. It was pretty embarrassing. The girl who shot me down all those months ago works there now, it seems. I pretended not to remember her. I don't know why I did that. Real fucking bitch move."

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Haha, good one user. Well you can just hope for the best. My life hasn't improved, but I went the humorous route instead of the edgy route.

you are very wholesome I like it

Some questions,if I may,
>what's Custodia Oculorum
>are you religious
>what did you mean by "breaking custody"
>do you play in a band
That's about it for the questions.
Why thank you user, I try to be positive and wholesome.

March 12, 2019
A few days ago [ex gf] messaged me on facebook asking to meet with her. I didn't respond. I declined her friend request and blocked her from messaging me. I don't want to speak with her.
After she and I broke up, all I wanted to hear was "user, please come back to me.I still love you." Five years passed. I gave up. I don't know what she wants and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing how miserable I've been since.
The only woman I've ever loved. She still looks beautiful to me. I can't truly bring myself to hatred, so I have to cut it off.

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Custodia Oculorum is an abstinence practice. It means "Custody of the Eye". Basically, you keep yourself disciplined by trying to avoid even looking at things that tempt you. In this case, I was hopping on the nofap train.
>are you religious
Yes, Catholic.
>"breaking custody"
See above
>play in a band
I do, three in fact. It keeps me busy and keeps me from being a shut in.

Ouch user, that hurt. Its been a couple days, have you changed your mind aboht not messaging her?
A Catholic eh? That's cool user, heresy in my religion(kek). Is it Latin? Playing in 3 bands sounds cool user. What do you play? What genre? Where do you play? I wish I could have learned how to play an instrument, but alas it was not meant to be.

I'm both of the posts you just responded to, so I'll answer it all at once.

>changed my mind about messaging her
No, I have not. In fact, since I blocked her again I feel better. I was getting real anxious about the whole thing. She left me for someone else, crushed my soul and humiliated me five years ago. I have some gifts she gave me from our time together, engraved with the words "my love forever" to remember exactly what happened. I was no saint, though. I can't claim innocence. It's just better this way.
>heresy
What's your religion? And yes, it's Latin.
>Band questions.
I'm mostly a drummer. Mostly a metal guy, like extreme stuff. I also sing in another band. Here's a vocaroo to a band I play with.
vocaroo.com/i/s03SPr6ZJPks
I mostly play around my city. Sometimes out of town gig. Real small time labour of love.
What instrument would you pick?

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Good on ya for not falling for the temptation. Also a metal Catholic? Thats crazy in my opinion. If you're a drummer youre arms must be ripped. Metal ain't my taste, but you like it and thats cool. If I had to choose an instrument to learn, it would either be guitar or piano. My religion is Jehovah's Witness.

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>ANOTHER set of trips
HNNNGGG I don't know if I can handle this.

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>a metal Catholic
Yeah, I can't really explain myself ever kek
>ripped arms
Haha no. Too much of a lanklet to have that kind of metabolism. Also, you reach a point in your technique where you can go real fast without using much effort.
>JW
What do you guys even believe?

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Thanks for making this thread user, very wholesome.
I've always been terrible at expressing myself, and I feel if I practice writing my raw thoughts, I'll have a better understanding of myself and maybe gain some interpersonal skills. Anyways, I'll upload my two only entries so far.

February 20, 2019
A realization I've had which I don't want to fade away... this is cheesy but, DON'T BE AFRAID TO EVEN TRY. If you're scared to do something, that means the payoff just might be worth it. Today I was almost too afraid to message a tinder girl, but then I bit the bullet and messaged her something dumb and it felt incredibly good to message someone myself without asking other anons "what should I say?". She eventually responded positively, and I realized I've been stuck in a cycle controlled by fear. Whenever I'm too much of a bitch to do something, I guess I'll just have to remember, "ALL I CAN DO IS TRY". Theres a whole world of pleasure on the other side of adversity.

March 7, 2019
It's been a depressing few weeks... but its nice to read my previous entry where I was feeling more motivated. I realized its useful to chronicle times where I was in a better mental state, it kinda reminds me things maybe aren't so bad.
Just some sadboi thoughts:
Why am I so concerned with what I'm worth?
I just want to be understood, and have my existence validated.
Currently I'm sitting on the Janns Steps grass area (courtyard in my college). There are many people here, and sitting here amongst them makes me feel better, however, there are cute couples all around me, which only reminds me of my own loneliness. I wish I could accurately sketch and capture some of these cute couple poses, It's a beautiful sight honestly. Having someone to lean on would be nice. Theres something about being in the presence of happy people which gives me sense of contentment, but somehow, I feel most lonely when I'm in the company of a group.

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Woah thats pretty cool user. Is drumming fun? Do you ever get tired during shows? Do you think you play good?
>What do you guys even believe?
That's a tall order, but I'll keep it brief. Practically God's name is Jehovah (evidence is in Bible verses), he sent his son (Jesus) down to Earth to help pay for the sins of mankind(specifically Adam's sin). This sacrifice means that 144,000 people can now go up to heaven and help God govern? (Even I don't get this part,kek). The rest of is good fellows will have a chance to live in a Paradise on Earth. Until then, we must preach and spread God's word (this is where the knocking on doors jokes come from) Until Armageddon, when God destroys the wicked world. There's alot more, but thats the basics. Oh and no Christmas, birthdays,etc. Cause that's all inspired from pagan stuff.

I like your positivity user. Very wholesome points you make. Its nice to see you get out there. You are right too, fear holds us back. That grassy area sounds comfy the way you described it. Keep up the good work and thanks for contributing.

Thought about keeping a journal in the past but this thread has got me thinking that I should start writing one. Wish I could've started sooner because I'd probably have more to write about and I think I might be too old now. I suppose I can just start from scratch and maybe talk about things that are meaningful to me in the present time. My first entry will probably be an introduction and probably won't be very good but I hope I can get better as I go along. If the thread is still up at around noon tomorrow, I might post it. Wish me luck.

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