Why do I feel like I've become fundamentally incompatible with normie life? I mean, I've become skilled enough to hide my autism, but there's no rl people I can really share my fringe political views with or laugh with because of my demented sense of humor. I don't even know if I'm a sociopath. I'm definitely capable of feeling emotions, but I've thought multiple times about how I feel like I'd be able of taking a life without feeling too much, and after watching the Christchurch shooting video to see if It'd make me feel anything, I actually laughed more at the fucked up humor of the guy than any negative feelings about the shooting. I felt... nothing, really.
I keep looking at people I meet on the street, thinking about most real life people would probably be nothing short of disgusted if I told them my darkest thoughts. Fuck me, I'd be put on a registry in no time.
location? Do you speak anything besides english? I might have a community of people that are just like you.
Mason Fisher
yeah, dutch, I'm a belgistani nigga. But I can speak english just fine, I'm actually more comfortable speaking english at this point because of all the hours spent in games and on discords.
Oliver Ross
It's another I think differently from others I must be a sociopath episode
Dylan Flores
Me too tee hee. Sometimes I eat peanut butter with icecream, but my bf Tyrone makes fun of me and says white people have poor taste. But I eat it anyway. I'm so unique and edgy.
it's not the fact I think different from others. It's just some specific things. I don't really feel bad for anyone. It's like my mind can not really grasp the concept of death. It's like I can't grasp tragidy. In high school, a girl that was pretty chill and was friendly towards me died of a heart attack in her sleep, and I didn't know how to feel. I wasn't sad. It didn't feel real. I thought the feeling of sadness would hit me after the realisation that she was gone forever would set in. It never did. The last time I cried over a death was when I hugged my dog as it died in my arms.
James Carter
Oh I get ya, I just thought you were an edgy faggot looking got attention
Samuel Flores
I'm not saying that I like being different. I'm not special but fuck me I want to be able to speak my mind to people besides the residents of fucked up shitpost discords. I really feel like I have no personality sometimes because my autism conditioned me to try and adapt completely to my surroundings. What do I even say when people ask me for my personal life. That I like gaming? Fuck me, that's one hell of a personality rigth there. What else can I say though. I have no real hobbies, I have no real friends, I have no real interests. Also, this has nothing to do with the original post anymore I'm just rambling at this point. Oh well. Who gives a shit anyways.
I think its funny watching people die like in liveleak videos. It genuinely warms my heart. Gore/Dead bodies look like yummy food to me, like spaghetti. When I see pretty girls and smalls children also look like food/pieces of meat to me, my mind instantly turns to how appealing it would be cut them up and see their innards and like roast them up and eat it. I think what happens is humans have a predator drive, we like killing and watching people suffer like a cat enjoys toying with mice.
It doesn't make me particularly happy either though. I just don't feel anything. I don't feel that strongly about death. Perhaps because I don't fear it myself. I do feel bad about pain though. I'd probably feel more comfortable watching actual people die painless deaths over watching the saw movies, even though I know it's obviously fake, lol.
Brody Collins
you sound like an AI designed to copy what a stereotypical r9k robot says and tards on reddit depression subreddits. They all say the same thing as you. They also do the "BUT I"M DIFFERENT because one time someone died and I wasn't sad", that's always the example they use. You're an NPC, get over it.
congratuations, you're an average dissociated emotionally detached white male
tell us about your mediocre childhood
Hunter Bailey
I really do feel like an npc sometimes though. Like I said, the autism makes you ''adapt to survive''. Noone likes you in middle and high school, so you learn to adapt to your peers. You basically bitch out and become what they want you to be. You laugh at their shit sense of humor. You share stories similar to theirs, even though your life is as uninteresting as watching a shit dry out. You try your best to be interesting even though you know deep down noone cares. Because what else do you have going for you. Also, I'm not depressed. I fit into normie life just fine. But it feels good to vent sometimes.
Adrian Reyes
> I'm not depressed I just hate life and if everyone knew the real me they'd hate me and I hate myself. But I sorta fit in and that's what matters.
Depressed and lacking basic observation and thinking skills. KYS
I used to like anime. Now I can't be bothered watching them anymore. My taste in vidya is as normie as it gets. I latch onto one singleplayer game and play that until the next one shows up 2 years later. From 2016 onwards it's been overwatch, till I got bored in september and switched to league of legends. Like I said, shit taste in games, because I can't be bothered learning any new games. I do still read manga though, but my taste is limited to mainly shitty isekai stories, no matter how garbage they are.
Isaac Torres
Seriously tho, you sound like textbook C-PTSD just like everyone else on Jow Forums. "I'm different from everyone else, everyone hates me. Nothing bad ever happened to me, I'm not worthy of being diagnosed with mental illness or trauma, I'm just a hopeless snowflake no one can ever melt."
correction, not singleplayer, multiplayer. Never picked up fortnite though. even I avoided that garbage.
Blake Allen
Why do you like insulting yourself so much for no reason? lol, i just asked what you like I can't stand mobas or battle royale games, i like games with a story. Lately I've been playing star wars the old republic
there might be a way to say what's really on your mind and make it sound natural. After all there's nothing more natural than death, every day is one step closer to it
Brody Barnes
First of all, we're probably on a registry already.
But overall, I think this is one of the major detriments of online socializing. You're relatively unremarkable here, and that's because you've socialized with us. If you'd spent the equivalent amount of time socializing with people that are around you in real life you'd be similarly tuned in with them, their views and values. The Jow Forums redpill and blue checkmark wokeness are the same in this aspect in that people just don't get exposed to those ideas normally.
This would all be well and good except that we don't share physical proximity with you. We wouldn't know each other passing on the street. So despite all the time you've invested in us, we have remarkably little to give back to you.
guess so, lol. I'm actually planning to meet up with a fellow autist from scotland. He's a good lad. He's weird as fuck, he's into feet, but god he's a champ and I love him. I am ''redpilled'', in a way, but I'm not a jewblaming conspiritard, I'm not that far gone lol. It does change your view on things though. When the callcenter I work for now showed us their rebranding, everyone was silent but me, I couldn't help but laugh, it was a vapid ''hip'' and ''youthful'' commercial, spouting buzzwords while saying nothing about the company itself, with some nice subtle diversity bs sprinkled in. Even the name. Yource. You+Scouce. What kinda faggot ass name is that. You're a callcenter for fucks sake.
another mini rant lol
Ian Rivera
I guess this means the death of the thread, well, I'll see you all in the next one
