30 yo khv here. I'm going to fuck an escort tomorrow. Just shaved my balls and asshole...

30 yo khv here. I'm going to fuck an escort tomorrow. Just shaved my balls and asshole. What else should I do to be ready?

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Jerk off first so you'll last longer

Shave your asshole

>expecting her to do anything to your asshole
>not expecting the awkwardness to make you last longer

>shaves his ass just to please a top dollar prostitute
simp

practice some badass dirty talk lines to thrown in there

chances are his penis has already been desensitized from years of masturbation, he might actuaally want to cum and not leave disappointed

Bro you never let a girl tongue punch your fart box?

On second thought, op is right
If she's gonna eat your ass, you might as well shave

This. My biggest fear is actually that i will not be able to get hard...

he's paying her. cant he just keep fucking her even after he cums

Yeah, but it will be kinda awkward.

>on second thought
Don't fucking pretend to be me. No one eats ass you meme spouting moron.

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whats awkward about getting your money's worth

where do you find escorts
origano

Mentally prepare yourself for disappointment. Sex is not that amazing, especially if you're not doing it with someone that you love.

It might be a good idea to tell the escort that you're a virgin. Maybe she'll make the experience less awkward for you.

At least you wont be a virgin anymore I suppose. Do you feel validated otherwise though?

Don't do this. It's very possible you not be able to gain an erection if you are really nervous, which you probably will be. If you are only running on half a tank and your balls are empty, that chance is greatly increased.

My advice to you is to go buy a penis enhancement pill. Took one one time and spent the weekend with this cd i met off tinder. We fucked 9 times in 2 days, we essentially never left the bedroom. My cock was rock hard all weekend and i was lasting a super long time. Honestly the best weekend of my life.

>Tfw this has happened to me twice
There is nothing more humiliating

all due to nervousness

desu it might be best if you tell her up front that this is your first time. get the akwardness out of the way. and she can then maybe guide you through it and make sure you acutally have a nice time

You must also buy a sombrero

google "{closest major city} ts escort"

you'll find one, dude

>how to get entrapped by your local police force in one easy step

What's ts mean?

I miss when I lived in Europe.

I would love that ass all over my face.

>What else should I do to be ready?

an enema

lmao
original dark humor