Alright boys help me from here

>you type like a faggot
Everyone says this in tinder threads, but the truth is that you have to talk to women like they're dumb little kids to get anywhere

Can say from experience, the farthest I ever got with women is when I treated them like they were mongoloids. You can't be subtle, or clever, or anything. Retarded puns, nigger music that has simple, obvious rhymes, and hamfisted puns that make them feel like they're clever for getting the reference that even the most mentally handicapped basement dweller would get. There are some women who I respect, and even the person I think highest of is a woman, but most are mentally subhuman.

Nice photshop LARPer user but it's too bad no one will fall for it.

Thats why your on r9k

Cus you fuck girls right?

Keep it simple please. All you had to respond with is "We should go for drinks. What's your number?". Here's why:

She said "more mature" is better
She said "you're clean shaven(=more mature)"
She said "Handsome af btw lol"(so she's probably braindead)
Here's what my message would convey:
>I don't feel like talking on the app. I'm too mature for playing around. I'm more direct and serious about my attraction to you. I noticed you flirting with me and I'm prepared to take control of the interaction and bring it up a level. We're going for drinks, so you'll probably end up back at my place to fuck.
Here's what your message conveyed:
>I can't speak english. I don't get a lot of attention even though I'm handsome, so you're not special, in fact you're probably ugly but I'm too lonely to care. I want a lot of attention from you so I'm going to type a lot, you should unmatch so you don't have to worry about my notifications

Yeah you have genuine autism man never post again

I'm autistic but self-aware enough to not stand out in real life. I know what I'm talking about. My gf came off tinder and she worships my cock. She's one of those feminists that secretly like being dominated. One of my best sexual experiences was fucking her face while she fingered herself. You'll never know what it's like to have someone quiver so much saliva goes down their chin while they graciously accept your cock in their mouth. She masturbates to that now and moans my name, she likes sending audio clips of it to me

>I also your hair
>Especially when you whip it second photo

Ooof.

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>I don't feel like talking on the app. I'm too mature for playing around. I'm more direct and serious about my attraction to you. I noticed you flirting with me and I'm prepared to take control of the interaction and bring it up a level. We're going for drinks, so you'll probably end up back at my place to fuck.

This is a level 8 autism rank post

It's not autism bro it's call learning how to pick up on signals and guess what? it works. my girlfriend literally begs to suck my cock. does your girlfriend even exist?

Uh fuck. I'm guilty of this shit. I just fucking love emojis man. :-)

Pat yourself on the back buddy

I'm actually just bragging about my great girlfriend. I really love her man. She cooks for me and can't sleep without me by her side and puts so much effort into connecting with me. From little to big, she cares about everything. You don't know motivation until you find someone with this level of compassion. I wake up thankful every day that we met. I say she does all this stuff, but really, we do it all together. I need her by my side just as much as she does me. We really are trying to become one, to realize true love, to submit to each other spiritually. It's a beautiful thing. What do you do when you realize perfection at 21? Try to maintain it for 80 years? I have the energy to do that. It's my goal. Wish me luck anons!

you still have a shot, type this

"Listen, Abby (cute name btw!), I'm going to cut the bs, I'm relatively attracted to you and was wondering if you'd like to go get dinner this weekend? If you're busy that's ok, sweet pea.
Thinking of you x"

Lol this is atrocious

dont send long messages, girls hate them.

god this is awful. Dont do this OP. The sweet pea and thinking of you bits are especially bad. The 'cute name btw' makes me gag

>She's strangely into me
No shit sherlock, I wouldn't fall for it user. This chick is not a qt3.14 at all, this is more along the lines of ugly.

how do u stop writing walls of text? is writing awkward verbose garbage some kind of chronic condition?

She's not that attractive so you can pretty much say whatever you want and win.
Personally I would use Stoic's method but you do you.

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woah this is some deliberate david blaine shit

It works. She wants to drain the guy dry.

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What ever happened with this story? Did the guy get bored of larping?

>so you can pretty much say whatever you want and win.
unless you're extrememly atractive, no. they'll have at least 10 ither guys trying to talk to them at any given point even if they're ugly
>how do i know
i recently mad an eggman account and had 50+ matches in an hour and a bunch of messages. some of you might remember the thread

this is sad, he's a virgin and you think his method works for getting laid

Eea stop. I did this kinda shit before but because i was anxious about things not going perfectly and in the end girls (predictably) lost interest and it was just stupidly sad that i blew off a bunch of cool people

Both messages convey autism you homo.

you have no idea what you're talking about, my message gets you a date regardless of if you look autistic. the date is where one is meant to shine, stop conversing with women on an app. that's why you guys dont get laid

Nice meta larp

My god she's annoying.

"Ok bitch."

Don't say shit like you're "doomed" or like other posters have said, send paragraphs. This is gonna sound fucked up, but you have to get her to like you more than you like her. That's gonna take some doing... be sensitive and listen to her but also make it clear you don't have time to talk long and hard, you got shit to do, but if she wants to talk: Let's do dinner, yadda yadda.

This is the gayest thing I've ever read on Jow Forums.

>lt happened!

where are you gettin this shit, i wanna see the whole thing

first thread:
The second one:

ITS THIS DUDE AGAIN
lol

It ends. Abruptly. And with no resolution, because it's fake.

read it and weep, retards

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I was assuming this would be some cringy tinder or text post about an autist sperging
but instead its Upstate NEW YOOORK user pasta again
lmao
nice twist

god damn im glad i dont have to think about my social interactions at all and theyre successful 95% of the time. i cant imagine being socially awkward and overthinking shit this much.

safe lad
that sucks, but i've found it entertaining

Wow six lines of text that are totally from a girl.
she's my gf guys, you wouldn't know her tho she lives in canada.

woah man delet this right now

What is it like to hear the words "I want you" from a girl? Must feel like a Greek God.

not him but its pretty fucking nice

Kinda stressful desu. Not trying to get attached to some hoe.

>(cute name btw!),
Stopped reading here. Jfc dude

it's alright. It means more coming from someone you've been with for a while, shows a bit of spark
what do you want man? i dont want to share more personal texts, not cuz of doxxing but because some things are private for the intensity of the feelings they convey. it would be a vacuous expression of insecurity if I posted the more romantic stuff. I can post some texts from my ex girlfriend when she was emotionally abusive if you want

>I'm relatively attracted to you

This is some PUA negging-type bullshit, never ever engage in this kind of behavior with a woman

>he still does the reddit spacing in a text conversation with a roastie
eternal reddit normalfaggot

>do you guys want more proof of how cool i am?
So even if you have fucked one, hell why not, two girls, no one cares my guy. The eagerness to get prise for doing something nearly all of us do is why everyone is (likely accurately) calling you out for being undiagnosed
Lmao @ ur life tho

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took the words right out of my fingers

First of all, use proper grammar. Second of all, stop being a fucking cornball.

Do not have conversations with women on dating apps.

If you are not trying to make real-world plans within the first few messages you are doing it wrong.

If you are not making plans within the first dozen-or-so messages, cut your losses and stop feeding the time wasting attention whore.

After you have met and verified you are attracted to her (and her to you) you can have all that getting-to-know-you shit IN PERSON face-to-face. Focus your online communucations about shared history (e.g., how much she enjoyed past plans) and plans for future IRL things.

whats with the reddit spacing user?

>"Shagadelic baby yeah!"

Speaking of which where the fuck is Stoic? I want him to slam that slut and then string her along even harder

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yikes and mogged op

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Holy shit where is this?
Those girls are pretty hot.

He's lying you dolt

He's not. They work together at a restaurant.

rich college town in rhode island, hot but insanely npc

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Well he's talking identically to the way I do and I'm married. I literally can't do shit or I'd feel too bad so I just kind of talk like that hoping something amazing just kind of comes of it one day.

>le cringe reddit spacing meme
It's a general pattern of formatting for mobile browsing.

>i also your hair
>JUST
>1% battery
theres no hope for you lad

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You triggered a bunch of people with your well-reasoned advice user. Keep trying to help em. Have a pretty lady for your efforts

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>do nurses make that jew mo...

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LMAO What? I'm undiagnosed what? Everyone dates? Is this still Jow Forums? This board is so odd now, all these autists getting triggered and trying to act like normies..

This shit only works if she's legit into you i.e you're attractive

why the walls of text? absolutely beta

Most important poast ITT

This. I've had more success with a simple "wanna fuck this weekend?" than I ever did with trying to be considerate.

This is fucking gold jesus christ

kek i can get away w being pol now

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>partys
You can't be serious

Who is that person? Your mother?

She looks way too hot to be talking to someone who browses this board. Post a better pic of her.

she is decent, just one that responded favorably to the aryan line

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>bro you need like good pictures to have success on tinder. at least 4 pictures, where they can see your body and face clearly! also pictures where you are in nature and socialize bla bla bla. NO SELFIES!
>meanwhile Chad only has a selfie and a meme on his profile

fuark, brutal glimpse into the life of chad. meanwhile I got a handful of matches with fatties

yea don't fall for the r/tinder meme, I have my Instagram attached with two pics but just having the chad look is all you need. My old tinder had pictures of me with a softer haircut and me smiling and it paled in comparison to this one.

getting pussy doesn't make me happier user, trust I wish I was still a virgin because now I have a more incel view of women and think relationships are pointless. I don't take them but if you're feeling pointless research SARMs and get Jow Forums

youtube.com/watch?v=IMFV705oG_c

This the correct way. originalio

wife her right now

What happened to robots? Aren't we non-normie neets anymore?

>What happened to robots? Aren't we non-normie neets anymore?
start browsing pol and fit

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that guy is hideous