I have failed

Of course try something like udemy, just do the shit in your own time

I'm glad to hear that, user. The past is set, but the future is still malleable. You can change things for the better.

Education is a great thing, but school's not for everyone. In particular, public schools and community colleges are designed in a rigid way that is meant to be accessible to a great amount of people at the expense of allowing the outliers to slip through the cracks. Maybe you're an outlier and just don't fit comfortably into the system. That's fine. You can still get something like a GED or SAT via self-study (online is great and affordable these days) if you want the certification that you have that level of education.

The car thing is a bit tricky. Can you carpool, hitch rides from friends/family, ride (and secure) a bike, or use public transportation? Ubers are a last resort if you have money stored up.

Six months work gap is nothing. The unemployment rate is at an all-time low as of last year, so there's plenty of jobs available. Probably not glamorous jobs, but money is money, right?

Which areas would you specifically like to talk about? Your post comes off a bit disorganized, so I'm not sure where to focus attention on, so I can't give more than general advice like above. By the way, I think it's great that you stopped smoking and drinking. They bring temporary relief, but they're very expensive and can get super dangerous and turn into a death-spiral if you become reliant on them.

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my parents give me the weed. I just want to find my path and know that there is still hope for me? I was thinking the military but I don't think they will take ADHD and prior drug use. I

what do i do when i get to the destination?

Go out try to meet new people, you'll be away from home so it'll be all new to you. Meet chicks through sites, finding relatable friends shouldn't be too hard

Same boat here. Started going to uni few weeks ago and dropped Jow Forums for a bit, this is the first thread I see.
Came back cause I'm already feeling doomed. Will probably drop out again. This is kind of a shitty age to be at aint it. You're getting old and losing touch with the younger generations, but you were never even in touch with yours. You can't keep fucking up anymore, but the baggage is just too big to handle.

There's definitely hope for you. I was eight years older than you before I started to turn things around, and I've already improved beyond what I had thought I could manage in just two years. In my experience, actual obstacles you'll encounter when doing things are far less troublesome than what your mind can conjure up. You know how they say things are easier said than done? Well, things are easier imagined than said. You can think up all sorts of ridiculous, insurmountable barriers in your head, but you have to remember they're not realistically what you're going to run into. I can almost guarantee that the actual doing will be easier than however you imagine it to be.

Do you have a formal ADHD diagnosis, or is that self-diagnosed? There's some thinking that weed can help with ADHD, but it's not medically accepted. If a psychiatrist declares you have it, they can proscribe you medicine that is known to help a lot, like Adderall or Ritalin. That sort of thing will go a LONG way towards giving you much-needed stability so you can focus on studying and whatever else you might want to do. I'd recommend laying off the weed (it's generally not a bad thing, but it can hurt productivity if you're already ill-motivated) and talking to a psychiatrist about getting a hold on ADHD.

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I get the impression this is just a general vent, so it's fine if you want to leave it at that, but I wouldn't mind hearing some more specifics. What's dragging you down? Why do you feel doomed? Is it important for you to be in touch with the younger generation? More important than getting in touch with your own? Personally I'd go for your own, both because it'll probably be easier and because it's more socially acceptable, so you won't be playing on hard mode, so to speak.

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thank you man and yeah a doctor diagnosed me in the fifth grade. went on meds for a year and i didnt like it so i got off of em. i kinda regret it

>22 year old
>can't run from my past or my mistakes

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you dont know me though. 22 feels so old and the months just fly by

Do you mind if I ask why you didn't like them (and more to the point, if you can reasonably get back on them)? I understand this is a personal thing for a lot of people, so I won't pry if that's the case here, but I always feel bad when I see people neglect their mental health, and I'd like to, if possible, convince you to try to tend to it again. You go see a doctor when your body is being wonky, right? Your brain is part of your body too, and I'd argue it's the most important part.

Be nice, user. Mocking isn't helpful for people already in low mood.

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my friend, I'm 42 and the years fly by. We do know you.

it made me a mean zombie like person. it did help me get school work done though

I'm surrounded by guys younger than me at uni cause guys my age are close to graduation. There's people my age as well but we're the minority.
At this point of life, I've been through fresh starts so many times that i can clearly recognize the pattern. It keeps repeating itself and I can't seem to break it, so I've reached the conclussion that it's not about the things I do but who I am. I can't have a normal, healthy social life, I can't have a romantic relationship with a woman and I can't cope with the loneliness that comes with the previous statements. So I end up breaking down and everything goes to shit. Been through this so many times and approached it in so many ways that I don't even know why I try anymore.

why are we like this dude?

creeped me out we do know you lol

Bad side effects, huh? Well, there are multiple drugs available, so you can ask for a different kind if one isn't the right fit. Like with psychologists/therapists, you probably won't get the one that's best for you first try.

I hope it all works out for you. It'd be a waste to spend your life in misery. Pic not related to you, but maybe someone who is depressed will find it useful for figuring out when their brain is lying to them.

>it's not about the things I do but who I am
What do you mean? You become the things you do. It's human nature to be adaptable, and that's our greatest strength next to our big brains and opposable thumbs. Every time you experience or do something, you push or twist your body and mind towards doing that sort of thing more efficiently in the future. That's our nature. Your conclusion is you creating self-fulfilling prophecies, so it's no surprise it ends up happening again and again. You submerse yourself in things you're exhausted half to death of already and wind up with the same result again, with improved efficiency. My first impression is that you badly need to break out of your comfort zone and change your perspective. With a new perspective comes new actions, which then turns into a new you.

Why can't you have a normal social life, or get into romance?

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thank you for ur help user

The self fulfilling prophecy is a meme buzzword desined to tell people to shut the fuck up about their problems while sounding smart without giving an argument of substance. My thinking is mathematical, statistical. I approach a problem and try to solve it in different ways, but I can only change so many things. I can change the way I behave to almost no end and I also have a wide range of environments to chose from. There's something I can't change, tho, which is the person going through the experiment. So if after set of behaviors a, b, c, d, e and environments 1, 2, 3, 4, the result of the experiment is still the same, then expecting it to be, once again, the same, is not a self fulfilling prophecy but just not being oblivious to reality.

No idea why I fail. I've asked myself that question many times, came up with answers, improved myself in many ways, but the results didnt change. I've gone through so much shit too, I'm not willing to go through lengths anymore, they don't seem to impact the result, it just makes it hurt more. If anything sounds like a plan at this stage is staying in my comfort zone cause I'm sick of the fruitless pain.

>The self fulfilling prophecy is a meme buzzword desined to tell people to shut the fuck up about their problems while sounding smart without giving an argument of substance.
I disagree heavily, but you sound convinced so I won't push the issue too hard here. I will say that it's a well-documented phenomena in psychology and point you towards Merton, Rosenthal & Jacobsen, and Jussim for some intro reading on the subject the next time you find yourself wanting to learn something new.

You don't want to talk about that, so I'm going to reject talking about statistics on the basis that they're 1) meant for analyzing patterns in large groups and are basically useless for individual measurement, and 2) you can make damned dirty statistics tell any story you want, especially if you're not impartial in the first place. I don't know you, so you have to understand I'm not calling you an unreliable person, but the human brain has a vast assortment of ways to trick itself, so we have to fundamentally assume a person can't analyze themselves accurately.

You won't get rid of the pain by sitting in the pain zone, so let's talk about what you've failed then. Can you give me some examples of some situations you've been in, what went wrong, what you did to correct them, and how the results were undesirable?

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Statistics work tho cause the issue is other people related.
Let's say I tried to sell a perfume to 100 girls, but only one bought it. I could safely say said perfume is undesirable to girls. A human being is not that different. Have a guy ask out hundreds of girls in many different ways and environments while also having dealt with all the basic shit ie hygiene, fashion, fitness, etc. If none reciprocate, it's safe to say he's unattractive to girls. It's also safe to say a human being is socially undesirable if you try to introduce him to many groups of people and none embrace him.

I dont see the point of going way into detail with my life experience cause it's mostly bland and mundane shit. Go to uni, try to make friends, maybe get laid once or twice, end up all alone after a few months. Try again, join other social activities, make friends and go to parties, join the army, volunteer somewhere, I could go on and on. In the end, the result is the same: me, single, friendless.
Tried being myself, tried faking my personality (which actually gets me laid but only works short term), tried being nice, tried being cool, tried being funny. I even tried being bland which gives surprisingly decent results, but I never get too far anyways.

still a looser here lol

I'm a bit torn, as it's a difficult situation here. My initial reaction was to talk about sample sizes and how it's always been a tedious numbers game for men to find a good partner (like anything else, the experts have failed a million times, but typically only the successes are visible from the outside), so perhaps the best course of action would be to keep hammering away at it; since you did find some minor successes here and there, you were clearly doing some things right. After reflecting on it a bit, I think you're onto to something here. With the rise of the Internet and social media, people (women, specifically) can afford to be a hell of a lot choosier than they were in the past, so it makes sense the same old numbers game men used to have to play is exponentially more painful than it was 15 years ago. I don't want to lecture you like a firm-handshake-dad if I'm out-of-touch myself, so I'm thinking the wise move would be to withdraw and learn more about this topic myself.

For the time being I will say that I think you should pick a veneer and stick with it though. Narrow and deep is better than broad and shallow, and it's a lot more honest as well, which is obviously useful if you're looking for stable relationships in your life. It doesn't really matter which one unless it's extraordinarily repulsive to the zeitgeist, because there will always be compatible people available. It's just a matter of finding them in the practically endless sea of ill-fitted partners, especially now that the available range seems to be widening so drastically.

Hopefully you find results. We all go at least a little bit loopy without any affection in our lives, so I like to think it's worth the trouble.

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