My mother is taking me to the barber shop tomorrow. How do I avoid small talk with the barber...

My mother is taking me to the barber shop tomorrow. How do I avoid small talk with the barber? Last time I answered "I don't know" to all her questions, but she still kept hounding me with them. I don't want to come off as rude, though, as my mother would reprimand me later for that. What do you robots do when you have to get a haircut?

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From my point of view it looks like a good opportunity to train your conversational and social skills.(Of course only if you are socially awkward,but you are on r9k so you probably are,just like the rest of us.)
Just talk with her and answer her questions.Noting more, nothing less.

After years of anxiety surrounding getting a haircut I finally put in some research and found a barbershop run by Koreans. They occasionally squawk at each other in their bird language, but their English is so bad that it's usually dead silent in there. The cuts are superior to and cheaper than the ones I'd been getting at the chains I'd been visiting.

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I never make small talk with my barber. Do normie barbers really talk to you while they're cutting your hair? That sounds annoying as shit

just say random garbage, barbers only talk because they dont want to appear rude

luckily my current barber pretty much says nothing except essential questions like "what length" and stuff like that, and i tip him 50% his base price

>answer her questions
They're too personal for me to comfortably answer. It feels like an interrogation.

This is a neat idea, but my mother won't accede even if I tell her to go to another barbershop.

Not all of the ones I've been to do, thankfully. However, it seems that if it's a woman, she is almost sure to blabber on about some nonsense.

>just say random garbage
I suppose that's what I'll have to do again. I hope they get the memo and realize I'm not interested in conversing with them.

i agree with >
i think sometimes instead of avoiding it you can use it as practice. If you really r e a l l y don't want to then you can just tell the barber that you are tired and have a headache. If they are a decent person they'll shut up

>tell the barber that you are tired and have a headache
How can I make an implication that me saying this means I don't want them to talk to me? If I say this out of the blue, they'll probably try to make small talk around the fact that I have a headache.

if they ask 'how are you today' or something along the lines of that

I still imagine them using my being tired as a jumping-off point for small talk. They'll say "Oh no, that's terrible! Do you regularly experience headaches?" or something along those lines.

Or maybe not, I don't know. I suppose I'll keep this excuse in mind if nothing else works.

alrighty. Good luck user you got this

Is no one gonna ask why op is going to the barbershop with his mother?

Thanks.

Yes, that is indeed a rather surprising fact if you take into consideration that we are on a board for normalfags. It's almost as though I'm a twenty-four-year-old loser that lives with his parents, yet surely no such people remain here.

>What do you robots do when you have to get a haircut?
My barber knows that i don't like talking and usually just zone out. I've cut my hair with him my whole life though

>that pic
Why would you let a deaf girl cut your hair?

How would your mother know about what you say to a barber?

Even neets that are 24 and live with their parents dont have their mother escort them around town. Is your anxiety so bad you cant function unescorted?

I just give them one word responses like
>So do you live around here?
>Yeah
they usually get the hint that im not a very social person

Get the fuck off this board a suckstart a shotgun


So glad I found a real ex military barber btw and he is ordering special products from Holland when he touches my head with his fat fingers I go nuts and he is very entertaining plus did I mention the styling is top notch

You don't need hearing to cut hair.

Because she probably wouldn't try to talk to me. Although I didn't actually choose that picture for any particular reason.

She'll be standing nearby in order to explain to the barber how she wants my hair to be cut.

I suppose that's the primary reason. I also wouldn't know how to explain what sort of haircut my mother wants for me, but I guess that could be solved by bringing a reference picture.

Hopefully they'll get the hint this time.

op is bait but this is not
>After years of anxiety surrounding getting a haircut
stop being a fucking bitch and kill yourself

draw this on your forehead

Just develop a decent relationship with one barber and always request them. Then just pray you never move again and she never quits.

I have an entire fake life I made up just for these occasions. In real life I am a NEET but I always say I work in IT primarily working on network design projects and am quite busy. Another thing to do is is deflect away from yourself by asking simple questions or making comments like how busy the salon is or something similar. This makes them talk about them selves and their work which people love to do for some reason and will eat up a lot of time.

Its also not a bad idea to say some things about your home life, like how you are looking forward to getting a new deck put in or something like that. I always dress the part I wear slacks loafers and a nice shirt everywhere I go so people think I am a normie and somewhat successful. I don't even own a single pair of jeans anymore.

Why would you create a lie that could easily be picked apart? Wouldn't it be awkward if you were found out?

I actually have experience in the field and some random hair dresser isn't going to know fuck all about a subject like that. They really have no way of knowing anyway because I never subscribed to any social media other than linked in. Aside from that my web presence its pretty much non existent. There are a few things tied to an old alias I used but that is all meaningless. Old forum posts for anime and games I liked at the time and nothing more.

I barely even exist in this society and have nothing tying me to my current address. I am an enigma and fucking no one aside from my parents knows me. Furthermore my parents also have no social media so there are not even posts that could be tied to me through their social networks. I have no bank accounts,vehicles,property or anything in my name.

It should be noted In real life I am a good liar and people always believe I am sincere. Even my parents know very little about my true nature and everyone is on a need to know basis. Now if the NSA or FBI or something really wanted to investigate me they would find out plenty I am sure but they have no reason to do that so I am not concerned.

Haven't had a haircut in a year. Hair is a mess, but I love it.

I don't cut my hair often enough for this to happen, it seems. Besides, it would be awkward to have the barber remember me.

>I have an entire fake life I made up just for these occasions.
I'd do this as well if my mother wasn't present.

>deflect away from yourself by asking simple questions or making comments like how busy the salon is or something similar.
This is not a bad idea, as long as I can squeeze something like this out of myself.

It has been roughly a year for me as well.

Ask your mother to just drop you off, tell her you are embarrassed to be brought to a barber shop by your mother at your age.

It's really fucking odd to have your mother tell the barber how she wants your hair done. Like really weird, this is approaching actual autism tier stuff, not just "weird shut in" stuff.

Just smile whenever there are any questions and answer short yes, no, or I don't know. They'll take the hint unless they are as socially retarded as you.

>anime faggot
>a filthy neet
Colour me surprised.

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I cant even leave my parents house you are a god op

Going there without my mother would be even more nerve-wracking. I don't care if they think it's weird.

Some really are that socially retarded, it seems.

I feel for you. I hate being around my parents, so it's a relief to be able to leave the house to escape them occasionally.

Anyway, I'm heading to bed now. Thanks for the advice, everyone.

>Even neets that are 24 and live with their parents dont have their mother escort them around town.
Except you're wrong, my mother still drives me to and picks me up from school. I'm 21 and attending college.

I just shaved myself bald a few days ago. Haven't had a haircut for more than a year and didn't feel like going to the barber.
Just shave it off. You won't have to go anywhere.

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At the place I go it seems like they expect me to be the one initiating conversation or something, and they usually rush my cut and fuck my shit right up. I haven't gone to get a haircut in 4 months because I was tired of their shit.

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>hello, I would like my hair cut like this. I have autism, please do not talk to me
easy as

At the dentist one time I lied about working at some store and the hygienist's daughter happened to actually work there. Caught a big whiff of bullshit and it was awkward as fuck after.
Now I just straight up tell anyone who asks I'm NEET and the questions stop