How is your life unraveling right now?

What's driven you closer to suicide recently? Any NEETs reaching the end of the NEET road? Any terminal illnesses? Any serious injuries? Any socially ruining events, like getting arrested or institutionalized or being observed doing something that changes the way people look at you and treat you differently?

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Just watching time tick away and doing absolutely nothing to improve things. I accepted that I'm going to die broke and alone already but sometimes the gravity of that decision feels absolutely horrifying on an existential level. Wouldn't know the first step in reversing it even if I wanted to. It's been too long. There are no bridges left off this island

I got accepted into an actual university after going to community college for two years. I didn't think I'd get in and that it would give me the motivation to kill myself, but I guess I'll have to continue getting an education for a pointless degree for a few more years. Maybe when I struggle to find a job I'll get the courage.

Well, in my case, there's not a valid reason I guess. I used to be perfectly fine with being a loner, and didn't feel anything about it, or my khv status. I fell in love with this girl though,and after getting rejected, loneliness hit me like a freight train. Not just the >tfw no gf shit either, though that's a part, but also my general lack of any emotional connections with anyone.

The last one must resonate with you. Did someone catch you doing something?

getting forced hard by my mother
she wants meat the dmv tmorrow

After clearing up 2 years of CS I've lost absolutely all motivation for college. It feels unread. I was known as the best student in my college, had all the doors opened and I've managed to fuck things up again.
I went to therapy and cooperated 100% with my therapist, figured out the root causes of my current condition, started taking antidepressants, and they've only rid me of my anxiety, but I still have no direction in life, nothing I want to do, because I fail at whatever I take up.
I'm only happy when I'm high and when I'm sleeping, and I can't afford to be high all the time.

I feel like suicide is the only logical step from here on.

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>It feels unread
I meant unreal. Ffs

I've officially burned every bridge.
I am toxic to be around despite my efforts to improve myself. I have no interests anymore and no marketable skills to keep myself afloat.
I think this might be it.

>I've officially burned every bridge.
It's freeing isn't it? Ignoring everyone and just being by myself has made me the happiest I had been in years.

>spend time with music festival girl
>continuously leads me on about possible romance
>continuously reminds me I'm worthless by dating other guys
>guilt trips me whenever I try to stop talking to her
>tfw she's on some "why are you so good to me" "we should spend more time together" shit
>leave something on her nightstand when I stay the night
>"oh it's still in my room"
>go to her room
>see another dude's stuff in her room
>tfw this is like the 5th or 6th time she's gotten close to me, stop talking for a few days, and suddenly another guy is worth a relationship
>tfw all women see me as good for is sex
>tfw this isn't the first, second or third woman to do this shit to me

Why can't people just be honest? Like why can't they say, "hey I just want to fuc, I'm not looking for romance." Instead of making you think there's a connection there isn't?

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
>>tfw all women see me as good for is sex
I'd literally kill to be you. Please fuck off this board, it isn't your place.

My NEET road ahead looks long and comfy. My parents fucked me over HARD. NEETdom is the least they could do for me.

You should really calm down and be nicer, kid.
It's not an easy way to live, especially if you are sick and need help.

>tfw added qt from my class in Facebook
>she finds out I'm an autistic sperg and tells her firends about me
I can't even go to class anymore without feeling self conscious about everything I
do. I think I'm just gonna stay away from women, I'm clearly not made for them.

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haha yeah its something, time drags on and i'll be in the same place ten years from now thinking why didnt i do something with those years.
all university is good for is to kill a few years but still i enjoyed the independence it gave me so i didn't entirely hate the experience.
>goes to festivals
>meets girls
fuck off normie

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I think I either have a brain tumor or my arteries are narrowing in my head. All the symptoms are pointing toward those two and because I live in a country with """free""" healthcare, I still have to wait 2 more months to see a specialist that might finally allow an MRI scan to be performed or something.

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Why would the last one resonate more than any others?

>implying I went to a festival
Eat my asshole you loser piece of shit. This isn't your secret clubhouse for being an autismo. This is also my secret autistic clubhouse
>hurr durr I'd kill to have sex with sluts
Make a Tinder, go to a couple of public monuments, have someone else take photos of you in some sort of group, use a pun/pick up line on every girl you match with.
99% of them will fuck you. there you go. Now get over it.

I have to get electro convulsive therapy soon.
Depression has been so bad the last 3 years I can hardly walk.
Medications don't work.
Lost my best friend and girlfriend.
Had to quit my job and move back in with my parents at 32.
Parents are getting old.
Have thousands of dollars worth of medical debt that follows me wherever I go.
Think about killing myself every ten minutes.
Just want someone to talk to but feel too corrosive to be near other people.

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>and girlfriend
Fuck off

please have sex asap

I've been bouncing around between colleges since 2014 hoping I'd find something I could stick with and could do well in and in the past few days I've realized it's going to take AT LEAST three years before I can graduate with my bullshit Poli Sci degree. I wish I could just drop out but I'm also $40k in the hole and climbing and I haven't held a job since 2015.

I went to college knowing damn well I probably wouldn't make it because I've always been shit in academics since I was in elementary school (I was kicked out too because my test scores for math were low) but I was always told by teachers that we would only be successful if we went to college. I went through Comp Sci because I had an interest in programming and hated it. Currently the plan is to get some Cisco certs and the bachelor's is so they pay me more. Networking seems boring as shit no matter how hard I try to push myself and this whole thing is a fucking trainwreck.

I'm thinking of getting tested for ADHD during the summer because I want to know what has been causing me not to stick with something longer than two fucking weeks. I'm in debt, I'm depressed and I hate everything.

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Feels like I wrote this reply. I feel like I'm living by dragging myself through whatever falls in front of me, and when it's done, that's the end of the road until something new just happens to be there.

When I was a schoolkid, I developed severe depression and anxiety on top of the autism I already had, and I was bullied and picked on relentlessly for a long time.
The bullying slowed and stopped because kids grow up and realize how little the people they don't like actually matter, so the hurt should've gone away.
I was assaulted during my teens and it fucking destroyed me, I haven't felt like myself or any real person and the feeling has only intensified as I've grown further away from the incident and closer to the age that the person was when they did that to me.
The depression and anxiety are worse than ever, and it feels so awful because now there's no existing external source of pain. There are no bullies around me, and the perpetrator of the assault is long since out of my life; the suffering stands on its own, feeding off of itself and growing darker and heavier as time wears on.

Is it required/mandated? I didn't know that was still a practice

What kind of assault?

Things are getting darker and colder while im getting older turning 23 soon and im still a lazy man and mentally ill things were going downhill since i left my shitty job and dropped my associates degree what a waste of time just to make 100$ more than i made with my low skilled shitty job ,now living with my dad and everytime i watch my face i feel destroyed as a human my dad tell me everyday to change but how what do i do theres noone to help me instead of him and after all i treat him as shit omg i posted this some time ago and still the same

I wish I had some real friends...

It's not that simple normie scum. Get the fuck off this board.

Got fired from fucking walmart a couple weeks ago, been drinking as much as I can daily for at least a year and now I have to stop. Paying with pennies and turning in cans. Worst was getting a pack of water with food stamps and then emptying them out and turning the bottles in for a pint of vodka. General loneliness and social ineptitude as well, I need to eat a bullet soon.

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>feeling pride at being a virgin
It is that simple, retard. You complicate it because you want to be a robot, apparently. And look at me, I'm posting again.

I lost my house and entire fucking town in a fire.
Since that happened I haven't been able to keep up with school work so I'm probably going to fail this year. Life is fucking awful.