Write what is on your mind

Attached: 9999999999999.jpg (332x400, 22K)

After failing spectacularly in three of my endeavours, I've finally decide to cave in, become an attorney and live a normie's life till the end of my days. I have no willpower at the moment to fight against the current and I'll freefloat for a few years until I can muster some strength again. It's a terrible feeling, coming to terms with one's own weakness and dealing with it. I suppose most people go through this phase, but this knowledge doesn't help me cope with it. I wake up feeling like I've barely rested at all, days go by and I make nothing of them. Goodnight, frens.

I'm writing a story about repetition, similar to how .gifs repeat themselves, but it's very deep and I'm afraid society wouldn't understand its meaning.

There is this girl asking about me, and my friend wants me to go talk to her.
I tried to ask her out two times before, the first time she came back to her boyfriend and stopped talking to me, the second time I fell for the "friend" bullshit and she didn't go either.
Now she broke up with the new boyfriend again...
This is really low, but I kinda want to talk to her just because I'm so fucking lonely.

Attached: fuji03.jpg (235x335, 36K)

You sure sound ripe for law school. Just for the hell of it, what's next if you drop out?

Clouds are trying to clean us all off the face the earth. Drop by drop the rain wears things down. Infinitely patient, the clouds play a long game

Attached: 5CC718DC-F764-4E09-9AE3-A882909C56C8.jpg (1920x1252, 194K)

I've already finished it. In my country you go to law school straight out of high school. I already have my diploma and passed the bar (although I haven't practiced law apart from internships).

I unironically daydreamed about choking and fucking a guy this morning and I'm not gay.

Attached: 381-1233891708GdW7.jpg (1280x960, 79K)

After taking ~750 mg of caffeine a day right before bed I've denied myself enough sleep that everything feels like a dream. when I read I simply focus on reading, without worrying about whether or not I'm completely understanding everything. I don't feel like people are looking at me whenever I walk around. Everything looks prettier. Pretty nice overall. Only problem is my grades.

...

Literarily speaking:

Religion isn't true, but most people don't have the time or patience to be able to substantially wrestle with ethics, mortality, and meaning and so on. And that's okay. You can't learn everything and even the most autistic polymath still needs to trust that people are telling them useful information about subjects they haven't studied. I used to be a lot angrier about this and have slowly come to accept that some people will have different beliefs from me

Non-literarily speaking:

I can finally feel my meds working, I've had a very good first session with my therapist, I can laugh out loud at cumtown again, the sun is out more and spring is just around the corner. I haven't felt this optimistic in a long time

Nothing wrong with multiple skills to fall back on. Here’s to a speedy recovery.

If it works, it’s pure art. If it’s short you can put into a short story collection.

Friend zone here for a bit, at the very least

Too much Jow Forums

Here=her
Fuckfuckfuck this fucking broke ass spellcheck

As in, take longer to actualy say hi? Because I'm not talking to her currently
She was dating this guy fro some solid months

Lent is the best time to make change. As long as it is not for yourself but for God you will not want for willpower. Every penance becomes so easy to endure you can add more and more.

If you're not religious think of it this way: stop looking inward, look outward. Self-improvement is selfish. It's masturbation as the saying goes. It's so true. Don't seek to improve the self for yourself or your own benefit. Look outward and beyond.

Now she seems interested. If you think she’s not worth it, that’s your call. Fine. But if you were to start talking with her, I would hesitate a bit I think.
(And I’m not even against FwB)

>(And I’m not even against FwB)
I’ve had this conversation with women irl before. There is something inherently morally wrong with FwB, can’t you agree with that butterfly?

:3

I honestly think I deserve better, specially considering what she did in the past. She has a kid too, and that's weird. On the other hand, when it comes to socializing I'm a fucking failure.
Idk... I want to cuddle and have sex w/ her as long as it is not too hard, you know? Any ideas?

How do I solve my inner turmoil within myself?

Basically, I've written and rewritten several rough drafts for my novel that I've been planning for a while now, while the novel itself is not controversial the themes are politically incorrect, or at the very least, does not Toe the Political Line. Which is fine, I've written that way. However, I do not want to be blacklisted due to its content. Though I don't know if I should ruin my integrity for a non-guaranteed shot at success. What to do?

Attached: Yukarin.png (193x200, 46K)

I work as a firefighter/EMT. I've witnessed a few deaths but it has never bothered.

During the end of one of my shifts we had a dude die at the side of the road due to a cardiac arrest, we tried to bring him back but there was nothing we could do. His girlfriend was losing her mind, weeping, yelling and what not. I drove home that morning at got to witness a sunrise coming up behind a snowy mountain I live close by. The beauty of that sunrise brought me to tears and that's the first time I realized how short and fragile human life is and I realized I should do anything to find the good in life and that I should enjoy my life more, but I still seem to be depressed and suicidal. At this point that sunrise is the only thing keeping me from putting a bullet to my head. Those short moments of happiness and beauty seem to overshadow the long and depressed feelings of sadness, pain, and loneliness, at least for now.

Same. I'm going to write a mind-breaking novel that's going to be too deep for society to understand (I don't even understand it myself so that must mean that God's (or Calliope) talking directly into my ear to write it).
I say: write it even if it's controversial. Maybe at least one person is going to enjoy it and that's all that matters.

If you kill yourself, don't. Let's talk behind the curtains of reality, m8. I'm sure I could convince you otherwise.

Hey, bro, things will get better. If you really feel like harming yourself, try to find a professional therapist or even a psychiatrist. Seeking medical help is no sign. Even those lifelines may help you. God Bless and have many more moments of beauty in your life.

>What, if some day or night, some demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'this life as you live it, and as you have lived it, you will have to live it once more and innumerable times more ...'
>Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus?
>Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'you are a god, and I have never heard anything more divine'.

Attached: n.jpg (768x1025, 115K)

Religion is not real and is a lie constructed by mankind, but God is very real and created all this. Deep down I believe he mostly watches, but helps us out here and there at whims for slow soul-building goodness.

Crying is really good for all of us. This year, I gave away a lot of money (most of the fortune I accumulated for myself) and cried a lot. I know I'm in self-destruct mode on some level, but I'm also very aware that the world is, too, and I just had to help some of my fellow people. None of us is alone if we want to face the end of life. Sync up and find me if you're interested. You'll know what to look for when you're ready, trust me - it should be pretty obvious. I'll look like a total idiot, but in your heart I hope those of you who saw this post know that it was me all along.

Hell is coming. It's literally time travel / "temporal distortion". First we get a "rain of fire" which triggers automatic nukes from several countries. It's best if we don't stick around, but this is a hard choice and I respect those of you who simply don't understand, but are trying to.

I don't care enough to read the rest of the dingbats in the thread. I know that I'll eventually off myself. I don't know when. It might be tonight- it might be tomorrow- it might be years on from now.

I've been raised by a genius IQ father who graduated from West Point but hasn't excelled in life outside of the service bc of his lack of self control. My mother is low IQ but has a much stronger faith in Christianity.
I'm the only kid in my family who hasn't attained a Masters degree. My oldest sister has a masters in school psychology, the sister closest to me has a masters in "social work".

While i'm objectively retarded I still cling to the belief of my intellectual superiority. I'm cringing as a write this. I want to die
>pic unrelated

Attached: 1514956689605.jpg (1200x1600, 399K)

No, not at all. Between reasonable adults it’s perfectly fine. Sex and love are two separate things. They well together, but so too can the bond of friendship be strengthened with sexual intimacy.
Have you not seen me post links to de Cleyre’s essay They Who Marry Do Ill?

Well, you could friend zone her for a while. But think over the FwB side. If she’s too scuzzy for you, keep her as a friend of some sort.

I'm done with women. Not in a retarded misogynistic way, I have just accepted that no one is going to want to be with me and I can't really blame them--I'm neurotic, awkward, dislike a lot of normie activities, have very high standards, and am minorly disabled to boot. Better to be alone.

But be happy, user.

There are worse things than being dumb, user.

I've been far happier since I accepted my solitude

There is no mercy for the oatless. I do not even hear them. For you, brother, I answer only as to settle accounts and, in filling that final fraternal debit, I release you forever to your oatless existence. All I hear now is that heavenly stirring, of oats in those stomachs of beasts more full than mine! The heights I must climb! The girth I must grow! I do not know you, dear brother. Had I one who ever loved me, that brother would have tore his shrinking belly open and let me feast before begging for my share. There is much eating to be done. I must play catch up with destiny. Do not pester me further, brother. Every word I speak is an oat I spill.

like being black?
>pic unrelated.

Attached: 1514956003537.jpg (1024x768, 287K)

*hugs*

Like... being really dumb?

No, being mean, or cruel.

Attached: 4891728898_95ca680b82_b.jpg (768x1024, 369K)

Kindness is sometimes the most effective form of cruelty.

That’s some inverse logic, user.
I recommend making some friends to augment your solitude. Take care kid.

I don't want to be cruel. In the real world I work as a boots salesman while I'm working my way through school for a useless degree.
>Last week I told some dingbat that "The insulation in our boots works like the insulation your attic, it'll keep you warmer in the winter and keep you cold in the summer"- because I didn't want to go grab the non-insulated boot from the back.
I thought of Kant's "Duty Ethics" and chuckled. I know I'm malformed.
>pic unrelated.

Attached: 1514957106236.jpg (1920x1200, 210K)

I just want to live in the shire from LotR.

Not the same guy. That saccharine bulllshit is just sickening. You can't expect anyone to take it earnestly.

What are you studying? Do you enjoy it?

Attached: MDE8mW6.jpg (882x903, 109K)

I care about people. Don’t lump me in with some pony shit

We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children and deliver us from the poisoners of all peoples, international jewry and their lackeys, amen.

if nihilism is true, why are people so triggered by it?

It really is a modern religion.

But to worship a god that is you?

Attached: 1376239302747.gif (499x253, 374K)

self delusion maybe?

I finished reading Watchmen and it was pretty neat. Reading is fun. People are missing out on interesting stories just because they aren't tv shows or movies.

Based off of an old Carlin gag.
The Earth birthed us only as a diuretic. Trapped deep inside was the Earth’s previous meals. All the plants and dinosaurs and such. It became a thick sticky smelly shit. And what do humans do when they first discover it seeping out some crack? We dig it up. We burn it, we mold it into plastic. We’ve assisted the Earth in taking a big shit.
Now we’re choking on the fumes and going to die off from it. The Earth is sighing with relief though. Good job humans

I can't wait until I can finally end my own life. I'm just waiting for my mom to die before I can finally end it all without any worries.

I'm studying political science with a minor in legal studies. While I thoroughly enjoy both subjects, I actually excel in my legal studies courses rather than my actual major.
>The school that I attend doesn't have a pre-law program so I made due.
I enjoy learning, I do not enjoy debt. Unless I absolutely murder the LSAT I have no chance at getting into a top tier law program- ergo accumulating the debt would be absolutely retarded.
>pic unrelated

Attached: Future-Rome.jpg (1920x960, 375K)

>worm moon
Fuck, it’s true. I saw a million dead worms on a sidewalk on the way to work this week

If humanity is to have any future, it will have to get over this happenstantial tribalism. Genetic tinkering will do even more to erase the differences than interbreeding. And we may move beyond conventional breeding if there is to be a future. We may do just as much integration as procreation.
You fret over the dumbest things.

That’s just dumb. Don’t go till you’re done. Please.

I desperately want to make love to a man in a non-homo matter.

faggot

I'm not gay.

If my modem says I'm online and my router is connected to my modem and it also says I'm online and my computer is connected to my router why does my computer say my router isn't connected to the internet?

How could you possibly spin it in way that isn't gay.

Attached: weird.jpg (733x554, 257K)

You're going to be happier when you quit denying your true self, user.

Attached: wrong.jpg (500x375, 91K)

How much is too much? How little is too little? Am i truly serving God the way i am living now? Do i truly need to cut myself off from everyone and everything that could be an outlet for sin, and live as a monk? I am very fearful of God. Everything should be done in moderation, even in Ecclesiastes we are told not to be “overly righteous”; but where is the line drawn? I’m afraid i need to make drastic changes in my life, even though they don’t apparently seem sinful.

Attached: 4BC6B7B4-E5F7-4749-849A-22A342FA657A.jpg (1600x900, 340K)

You’re bisexual then.

My greatest dream right now is to commit suicide, actually. I don't want to die because of silly things like car accidents, I want to die by my own hands. And I want to do it soon while I'm still in my 20s.

>Respond to His call with a generous YES!
The world needs more good and faithful priests, not monks!

I don't know how it happened. Out of no where, yesterday, I stared at my ceiling and thought about these strange homoeroticisms and how if I were to do them, I wouldn't feel any pleasure, I'm not attracted to any man, it would be like kissing a sibling. Then, my brain started tormenting me with after images of folks I know and without a girlfriend I could fall back onto thinking to rid myself of these thoughts, I had to accept that punishment (possibly for being idle). When I would imagine a beautiful woman, I saw myself eating her in my mind, her skin was pale and unsightly with glossy eyes and an agape mouth that's dark inside, then my imagination would spin it towards a friend of mine also eating her alongside myself. I have no sexual attraction to this other person so I kissed him in the daydream and felt nothing, as expected, unlike the other guy I had originally thought of. There's no surefire way to describe why I was thinking about this. I'm repulsed by the idea of myself being a homosexual. I'm blaming Jewish brainwashing.

Why not wait till actual suffering happens, say in your 70s

>I'm repulsed by the idea of myself being a homosexual.

Just write it off as a weird day-dream. You don't have to act on it.

Really? You are making this sound like some life-changing horror story. People have impure thoughts all the time. We have always been that way. Just know its wrong and stupid and move on. No need to feel embarrassed or terrified, maybe just a little shame.

I am actually suffering right now though. I don't think I can make it that far, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to. Can you imagine living as worthless garbage for 70 years and being perfectly fine with it? I'm not.

This is a very unique platform, and I'd really like to get my thoughts out here bc I type much faster than I can write.

I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for many years, and I'd like to detail why I haven't actually followed through. This post will be stream of consciousness, as if I was writing in a journal. The subsequent > marks is to make it more readable and to help compile my thoughts.

>I don't want to face the fires of Hell for eternity.
>You know that your death would immeasurably impact your family. Ellie would fall apart. She's going to blame herself. you know what she's going to ask, "how could she have missed the signs? Was I so wrapped up in work I couldn't see what was unraveling in front of me? what kind of social worker can I be if I couldn't even help my brother from killing himself?"
>Mom is going to utterly collapse.
>Will my niece miss me? Will Jenn miss me? =

>I don't want to hurt my college friends. I don't want to hurt Zachau- I don't want to hurt Alex. I don't want anyone to blame themselves thinking that they could have been more "available."
>Would the news reach Coach Kolon?
>Would the news reach Coach Tarnow?

What country, if you don't mind me asking? Law school is soul-crushing in the U.S., and you must complete a 4 year degree at undergrad to even be eligible.

yoooooo what's shakin' suicidal bro?
>I have a much different approach than you bc we attack the end goal differently. I actually want to die because of a car accident because it would lessen the strain on my family and friends. If I were to die at my own hands I feel like my loved ones would inevitably blame themselves. What are your thoughts, Chief?

this is kind of hilarious lol ur a faggit

No.
you know what? I blame nofap. I masturbated for the first time in a month and now I'm having homosexual thoughts. Must be a way to increase their numbers. I need a girlfriend now to undo the damage.

that's right

blame everybody but yourself

>Sex and love are two different things
Ah I see so this is the problem I was afraid we were having.

Can you please change your opinion of this? Not cool. This is a terribly prevalent problem in modern society, hence why you saw me mention women irl. The issue here is simple: we do not exist to have sex, rather, but to love. If we simply existed to have sex everything would be fleeting.

I know it must seem remarkable coming from me, even hypocritical, but do try to think about how this kills the passion of sex itself.

We will eventually be ready to consummate our relationship and I just want to make sure you are aware how terrible a loveless sex is. I’ve been there, done that. I think society is flawed in this way

:3

No one cares. People live and then they die. Eventually, enough people will die such that your existence will be forgotten. Don't fret.

this board is getting worse every day and I love it.

I'm hammered, I can't tell if you're actually struggling with coming to terms that you're a sodomite or if you're trolling
>pic unrelated
>pic might be related

Attached: 9000 keks.jpg (600x598, 41K)

This sounds fun, but are you not worried about its affects on your health?

I'm literally drinking room temp beer talking to strangers about how I REALLY want to kill myself.

What a strange world we live in, dude.

I finally got over my desire to kill myself. And to think it only took the unconditional support of my family, visiting about half a dozen doctors, using 3 different kinds of medication, a lot of willpower and a few years of my life.

Attached: fun fact James McAvoy's dance was unintentional, he was having a seizure here.gif (480x270, 455K)

I’m obsessed with bonbibonkers

There must have been a turning point, what happened?

what the hell is a bonbibonker

Tiktok weeb

I realized that I have it better than most people on the planet and that I should be grateful. You have to endure the bad times and enjoy the good times because life is short as it is.

>write big thing
>dreading it being bad
>suddenly think it's really good
>send it in confidently
>next day
>???? why did I think that was good if it's so bad?
>don't look at it, fearing cringe
>start rewriting it to send it in again with note saying "please ignore that earlier version and judge me on this instead"
>have to reread old version to use it for rewrite
>hey wtf it's actually really good, I was right
>next day
>wtf???? it's bad
>mfw

Attached: ccb.png (599x455, 239K)

I don’t watch anime. I don’t care about cosplay. I don’t like tiktoks. I live a normal life. And yet I have been totally and hopelessly ensnared

I wonder if it would be comfy to fly in the fullback during long sorties.

Suffering how, user?
What’s earin’ ya?

am, am I (((((((((important)))))))) yet?

>broke-machine.feel

Put two people in similar long term circumstances, and they can arrive at the same feelings, beliefs and thoughts. Environment (with genes) causes specific thought patterns. Environment causes thoughts. We choose our thoughts, the product of our identity and insight, except we don’t because it’s the environment. How seriously can we take our entire subjective world? How much can choose? Do we just sit back and watch it all unfold?

Attack some kids when ya go downtown,
by throwin' some candy on the ground,
then grease 'em when they gather round
napalm sticks to kids!

Shootin' women's pretty fun,
try shootin' one that's pregnant, son
you'll get two for the price of one!
napalm sticks to kids!

Asshole you choose to ignore my post. Listen: loveless sex is hell, trust me. You wouldn’t know ;_;

FUCK FUCK FUCK ITS 3 AM IN THE FUCKING MORNING WHEN WILL THE PANGS OF ANXIETY AND FEELINGS OG SELF-DOUBTS LEAVE AND LET ME SLEEP IN PEACE

Attached: WAKE UP .jpg (593x601, 44K)

*gets in bed with you and stuffs niquil down your mouth*
Shh

Where tf are you? Nova Scotia :3?

I bet he's got a nice thick hairy chest.

hey there big guy I'm off work tomorrow so y0u can succ my bel0w average cock

Homos.

:3

Why tf is everyone turning gay? I converted a lesbian with this face